[-Chapter Eighteen-]

The closer I got to opening my eyes, the more aware I became of a burning sensation in my back. I shrank away from it, not wanting to go back to the pain. Not to the physical pain, not to the emotional pain.

"Kari?" the voice called to me again. There were hints of worry to it this time, something that had not been there before. "Kari, if you can hear me… you're going to feel some pain in your back. I'm having people clean it, but it's pretty nasty. Kari? Kari, can you hear me?"

Yes, I tried to say, but my mouth wouldn't move. I stared blindly at the insides of my eyelids. I was too tired to open them. It took too much effort. They could stay closed, for all that I cared. I could keep them shut to the horrors of the world that way. No more uncaring fathers or heartbroken mothers, no more evil people and bad things, no more Arisu or Makoto, no more chances for revenge… Okay, so there were some upsides to having open eyes. But I just wasn't ready yet, so—

My back was on fire. Burning. It hurt, consumed every thought that I had. Fire in my veins. Screaming through me, but I would not scream. My fingers came to life and wrapped around something soft. I immediately thought of the Chen-Li and bit back the scream that threatened to escape my lips. They were probably "punishing" me again. Well, let them work. I was not going to scream ever again.

The fire receded and then started again, burning worse than ever. I had no energy to keep my head up and let it droop instead, relishing the softness of the pillow below it.

Pillows? No one in town had pillows. Well… one person did. And he was the only one who would have helped me.

"Koto!" I wanted to scream but it came out a hoarse whimper. I tried again. "KOTO!" My voice was piercing. He needed to hear me over the fire. It burns it burns it burns.

"Kari?" Makoto shouted. The fire was burning everywhere now. "Kari, look at me." My eyes wouldn't open, but my head throbbed in response.

"Mmm," was all that I could manage, and then the pain erupted again. My body revolted and I screamed; my hands became claws, tearing at everything around them. Someone—Makoto?—grabbed my hands. I felt like I could break his bones, I was holding on so tightly. But Koto didn't complain once.

Even as the fire receded, my body continued shaking. My face was soaked—was it the pain? Was it tears? I had no idea—until a sob ripped from my throat.

"It's okay, Kari. It's done," Makoto reassured me. His calming smell enveloped me again: peaches and soap. Calm. Calm down. Focus on Koto. He smells good.

He must have heard my sniffling. "What is it?"

"Smell," I moaned, but he didn't understand and told me so. I yawned then, and he squeezed my hand. Suddenly my back was burning; I screamed again.

"Easy, Kari. They're just bandages." Then I realized that they were icy cold, which almost felt worse than the fire from earlier. Stupid bandages.

Bandages for my whipping, which I had gotten because I tried to save Aiko. Tried. To. Save.

The wave of despair washed over me again, and I didn't make any more attempts to fight back. These invisible people that I couldn't see wrapped me up tightly until I could barely breathe. Still I couldn't bring myself to care. I was a failure. Failures didn't deserve to breathe, or have friends, or anything. Failures deserved to wander the earth until they made up for their failure. For me, that meant rescuing Aiko.

Rescuing… Aiko…

How had I never thought of that before? Just because I'd lost her once didn't mean that I couldn't retrieve her. And there would be no one to stop us, that much I knew for sure.

What if she's crazy already? a tiny voice whispered in the back of my mind.

Then I'll find a cure, I snapped back. I wasn't going to let my pessimism ruin my new purpose in life. I was going to save my sister. No one was going to get in my way.

Well, not if they intended to make it out alive.

My eyes fluttered open, and I stared over at Makoto's face. His light skin, his dark brown hair kept half-up, half-down in a short ponytail, his beautiful brown eyes trained carefully on me. When he saw that I was looking at him, he smiled his crooked little smile at me. The thick muscles in his neck worked as he swallowed; he squeezed my hand a second time. "You're awake," Koto grinned. It was painfully obvious, but I could see that it did him good to hear it. And I was going to be strong for him.

I gave him my best cheerful look. "And better than ever."

Which wasn't entirely a lie.

A/N: Hi friends! *dodges rotten tomatoes* I know... I sort of went on a random hiatus. Without telling anyone. For over a year. It's been a very busy and awesome year, though, and I'm glad to be back on .

If I still have friends, I will freely purchase your affection with chapters and more cookies. And if not... well... the show must go on!