Chapter XIII – The long goodbye.

Ella looked at her reflection in the full length mirror, brushing a crease from her dress. She had opted for a classic look. Black straight dress, high black heels, the golden medallion her mother had bought her for her eighteenth birthday, dangling earrings she loved. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail that fell just above her waist. She hadn't been able to sleep much the night before, the adrenaline from the events of the last seventy two hours still rushing through her veins and had chosen to apply a light layer of make up to hide the sign of weariness from her face. She looked perfect for a funeral. She took a step towards her dresser and lifted a framed photograph of her mother, her fingers lightly brushing her mother's perfect face.

She heard a soft knock and looked as the door opened to reveal Pete, standing at the threshold of the door."It's time sweetheart."

He spotted the frame in her hand and closed the distance between them. He smiled sadly at the photograph which was familiar to him. "She was a beautiful woman, your mum."

She nodded in agreement as she returned the frame to its spot "Yes she was." She confirmed turning to look at him in the eyes. "I know about you and mum."

He thought about denying it, but he knew he would never be able to foster another lie on this, not with Ella. Instead he looked down and sighted. "I didn't think she told anyone."

"She didn't." Ella took out the letter she had found in her mother's jewelry box from her pocket and held it out to him. "I found this in her private things."

He recognized it straight away. The break up letter he had written to Nell all those years ago, listing all the reasons they couldn't be together. "I'm sorry you ever had to find out, Ella. And I know it doesn't excuse anything but I loved her." He tried to cup her cheek with his hand but she recoiled from his touch.

"She wasn't yours to love, Pete! She was your best friend's wife." Ella felt a mixture of anger and the guilt rush through her. "I blamed him, Pete. For years, every time I heard her cry in her room I'd blame him. I assumed it had to be because of him but it wasn't, was it? I can't help but think that maybe my relationship with my father would be different if it wasn't for you."

"I know you're hurt and disappointed. I'm really sorry for that."

"Yeah, me too. He knows about the affair. He doesn't know it was you but if he ever found out…"

"I know."

She held out the letter to him. "You should burn this. No one else should find out."

"Will you forgive me?"

One day, maybe. Probably. But right now she couldn't. Right now, she felt… confused. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel about the man who had bedded her mother behind her husbands back. The man who might have ruined her parents' marriage. The man she had always thought of as a second father. "We should go, Ray is waiting."

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me…"

The funeral was a intimate affair. With the events that had taken place the day before, it had been agreed that only the club members and Ella would be present.

Kozik looked up stealing a glance at her. She was sitting on the opposite side to him, flanked by Pete and Ray either side of her, Chance and Happy completing the protective shield by standing behind her. All the men had bowed their head respectfully but her eyes were watching her mother's casket emotionless as if she had detached herself from her surroundings. He hadn't been alone with her since their rescue. Not long after the emergency meeting they had the day before, Tig had picked up Gemma from the motel where she had been locked up and they'd hit the road, reaching Rogue River during the night. Tease had taken Kozik back to his house to rest until the next day while the rest of the crew was kept on stand by around the house.

He found himself wishing he could let her know he was there for her. He knew the pain of losing a parent and he would have liked to be able to be present for her. As if she had heard his thoughts, she looked up, her fierce brown eyes meeting his and gave him an imperceptible nod.

A few minutes later, the priest ended the ceremony and the crowd made their way back to their bikes,

Ella turned to Ray. "I need a minute alone with her."

With a look, Ray consulted Chance and Happy who had been scanning the surroundings since they had arrived. The bold man nodded affirmatively to the president. Ray turned back to his daughter. "Don't be long."

Whiz approached Kozik, a set of car keys in hand. "I got the car and everything else you asked for"

Kozik had requested an SUV with tinted windows to give them an edge on the road in case they ran into problems. He had thought about taking a van, but the trip would likely take eight to twelve hours depending on the traffic, he didn't want Ella at the back of a van for that long. They walked to the car as Whiz continued. "There's a shot gun under your seat, two Glocks in the glove box and the piece de resistance…" The man opened the trunk and Kozik spotted a duffel bag. He unzipped it revealing two assault rifles, a semi automatic gun and ammunitions. "Hopefully, you won't need any of it."

"Yeah, I prefer to be prepared."

Pete was observing Kozik and Whiz from afar, replaying his conversation with Ella through his mind when he heard a raspy voice address him. "She's in safe hands, Pete. I've known Kozik for a long time. He'll protect her , no matter what."

Pete turned to Happy with a smile.

"I'm more worried about him. You make Ella do something she doesn't want to do, you got to be prepared to pay hell for it."

Happy knew Pete was right on point. Both men broke into a small laugh. After everything that happened in the last twenty four hours, it felt good to be able to still laugh.

Ella bent over and kissed her mother casket whispering a last goodbye before making her way towards her father.

"Your bag is in the car. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." She replied flatly as she got in the car. She lifted her eyes to meet her fathers and opened her mouth to speak but closed it again.

"I'll see you soon Ella." He promised guessing what she had been about to say.

Ella caught sight of Pete smoking a cigarette a few steps behind Ray. He gave her an apologetic smile and all she could offer was a small wave before Ray closed the passenger door on her.

She looked up at the rearview mirror and watched her father and his men confer together for moment before Kozik hugged her father and he got in the car with a pat in the back from Clay Morrow.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let's go."

"Do you think we can stop so I can change?" she asked as she removed her high heels.

He looked at her as she tried to pull down the skirt of her dress which had pulled up as she sat to reveal her lean, sun kissed legs. "We'll stop once we cross state borders. Don't want to take any risk."

He put on the ignition and started the car, waiting for the Tacoma Charter to take the lead in their convoy. The plan was for them to be escort them to the city limits and once sure there was no tail on them, they would be left on their own.

After a few minutes, she turned to him. "How is your arm?"

He spared her a quick glance and saw the worry in her eyes. "Gee, Ella, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were worried about me."

She scoffed. "Well you are driving the car I'm in. I'd prefer to know you're not going to drive us into a wall."

He let out a snigger. The sassy girl he had met on the side of the road not long ago was still there. She was just hiding beneath the surface, ready to go straight for the jugular given the right opportunity. "The arm is fine, doll. It's not the first bullet I take."

They drove in silence for a few miles as Ella watched the roads became more and more unfamiliar. "Are you at least going to tell me where I'm going?"

He sighed. There was no harm in giving her the information now and he was afraid she wouldn't stop until he did. "Charming. We'll make a quick stop to Rogue River first."

"I should have guessed. Can I ask you something?"

"If I say no, will that stop you?"

She ignored his remark. "Why did you transfer?"

"It's none of your business."

"It's a simple question Kozik.

"And I answered it."

She decided to drop the subject sure she wouldn't be getting any answers, at least not then. "Here's another, how did you know where to find me yesterday?"

He had been waiting for her to ask him this; he didn't want to lie to her like he had to do with Tig. "I was following you." He replied truthfully.

"Why?"

"When I saw you on the parking lot, you… you looked upset. I thought it might be because of what happened the other night. I… I guess I just wanted to apologize for losing it with you. You just seem to have that effect on me."

She bit back a snark. "Well I guess you being an ass kind of saved my life."

"Kind of? Your ass's sitting right next to me aren't you?"

She suppressed a smile. "I should probably should thank you for that."

"Let's just call it even."

She seemed to think about something for the next few minutes before she spoke again. "You looked different. When you were shooting at this guy, you looked… I don't know how to explain it …you just seemed like a different person. You must hate this, right? Being stuck here with me, knowing you'll be missing all the action?"

"Your company isn't that bad. Besides, your dad asked me to look after you." He turned to her with a smirk. "Can't imagine why but he's grown fond of you."

"You always do what people ask you to do, Kozik?"

"I'm an ex-military Ella, it's what we do. You should try it sometime."

"So, you're really not going to tell me why you transferred?"

He felt himself grin. He knew she hadn't given up on getting an answer from him. "No, Ella, I'm really not going to tell you."

"Come on, was it because of girl?" she taunted.

"What's this? Twenty questions?

"It's called a conversation. You should try it sometime." She interjected, throwing his words back at him.

"Alright. Let's play this game. This thing with you and your old man, what is that?

She rolled her eyes at his choice of subject. "Let me guess, you're going to tell me what an ungrateful bitch I am."

"Your words sweetheart."

"You've barely been here a month Kozik, you might think you know Ray and you might think you know me but you don't, so spare me the lecture."

"Yeah, I guess you're the first person in the world to have a bad relationship with a parent." He mocked.

She felt her annoyance levels rise up again. "If you've got something to say Kozik, say it."

"I saw the look on his face after the attack yesterday. That man was going to kill anyone he had to bring you home safely. And I'm not saying he's going to get the father of the year award anytime soon, but he would walk through fire for you. That should count for something right?"

She scanned his face for a moment, trying to find clues, understand what he was getting at. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"Do what?"

"Try and make me understand him, understand them. You did the same thing the other night."

"I don't know Ella." He let out a deep breath. "Maybe I do it, so you'll understand me. I'm one of them Ella. You might think I'm different but at the end of the day, I'm one of them."

She kept her eyes on him trying to decide how she should answer him. Before she could muster a response, a chorus of blaring horns started as the bikes slowed downed before making a u-turn to return to Tacoma, leaving the SUV alone on the quiet road.

"Guess we just lost our escort. You should try and get some rest, Ella. We got a long drive to the border."

She knew he was putting an end to the conversation and she almost felt relief. It had started on a light note but it got too personal, too quick. She was having such a hard time figuring him out; it wasn't something she was used to. Maybe because she'd never put that much effort into trying to understand anyone like that before. Every time she thought she had him pegged, he went and did or said something that took her completely by surprise. And no matter how much he challenged her, no matter how much he annoyed her, she never seemed to be able to be close up to him.

She turned her attention to the road and decided to try and listen to him for once, and get some sleep.

Two chapters in one day, I know. But I really wanted to get moving with Ella and Kozik on the road. So hope you enjoyed and as always please review!