Chapter XIV- Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again.

Previous chapter didn't get much feedback but I want to thank DarkChild19 for the continuous support of this story. Your previous review made me rethink most of this chapter and I'm very happy with how it turned out. Hopefully you guys will be to!

Kozik glanced at the passenger seat and realised that Ella was still asleep. She must have really been exhausted. They had been driving for almost three hours and she had been sleeping for most of it. The only sound around was the sound of the windscreen wipers clearing out heavy rain that was now falling on the car. He didn't mind though, he was happy for the silence, it gave him time to think. He hadn't had much time to actually stop and think the last few days. Things had gotten so crazy, so fast… and it didn't look like it would calm down anytime soon. And usually, Kozik wouldn't have minded. On the contrary, he craved the action, lived for it. For a man like him, it was like finally breathing fresh air after being on life support. But this time, he couldn't let himself enjoy any of it and he knew exactly why. Innocents were getting hurt. He was no choir boy but innocents were off limits. And yet, he had been standing right by when Ray shot Tina Ortega in the head. He had also been there when Ella barely made it out with her life because of what they had done. And at the end of the day, he knew it was what bothered him the most. When he had finally spotted her hiding behind that tree with those assholes hunting her like some animals, he'd felt his insides turn upside down and felt this compulsive need to get to her, to protect her and kill anyone who got in the way of that. He still felt it now. That was why he hadn't hesitated when Ray had asked him to escort Ella out of the state. He turned to look at her again, and had to fight the urge to brush a strand of silky hair that was falling on her eyes. She might have been off limits to him but he couldn't ignore the effect she had on him; simply put she was devastatingly gorgeous and somehow her strong headed personality was only serving to reinforce his attraction to her. He let out a long sigh as he concentrated his attention back to the road. Fate was playing a cruel game on him. She was the first woman who'd ever been able to gain his interest beyond the superficial. She was obnoxiously smart no doubt about that, she was quick witted, fearless. She was certainly a piece of work but it was part of what he liked about her. She was like a volcano waiting to explode any minute and despite the danger, you wanted to stay and watch. He hadn't been averse to relationships even though he was quite sure how others made it work with their Sons duties, but he had never met a woman who made him want to even consider it. The only relationship he had had was on of a different kind. A kind that would have killed him if it wasn't for another Son. No, love them, leave them, that had always been his motto. No complications, no expectations, no disappointments. But then he had met Ella Strickland on the side of a road and she had made him question his entire outlook on this and of all people, she had turned out to be Lethal Ray Strickland's daughter. Not to mention the fact that she seemed to hate anything remotely linked to the Sons of Anarchy and by extension anyone linked to the club. Yeah, fate was definitely playing a cruel game on him.

He spotted a sign indicating a gas station and checked the car clock. They had crossed state lines a while ago passing Salem a few minutes back which meant now halfway through to Rogue River. He decided it was time for a break and took a right. A few minutes later he was pulling off in front of a run down diner right by the gas station. As soon as he turned off the ignition, Ella stirred no longer rocked by the car vibrations. She stifled a yawn and rubbed her stiff neck before asking. "Where are we?"

He took out the car key and turned to her. "A few miles south of Salem." He took out his glock and checked it was correctly loaded before putting it back to his waist. "Stay here while I take a look. Lock the doors, I'll be back."

Before she could even respond he took off leaving her alone.

"Yes, boss." She muttered begrudgingly not liking the authoritative tone he was taking with her.

Kozik walked to the gas station to buy some cigarettes. As he was walked to the cashier, his prepay rung. He took it out checking the caller ID before picking up.

"Where are you?" he heard Tig growl on the other side of the line.

Well, hello to you too asshole was what Kozik wanted to reply. But he didn't want to indulge Tig right now. He knew that even though he loved Gemma to bits, the charming SAA was pissed off that he had been sent on a babysitting mission and was antsy to get back to Tacoma. "We're about halfway. Should here just after nightfall. All good with you guys?"

"We're fine." Tig retorted. "Just get your ass down here."

Before Kozik could even answer, he heard the insistent tone of a disconnected line and realised Tig had already hung up. He understood why Tig was pissed at him but by god, that jerk frustrated the hell out of him sometimes.

The heavy cashier a woman named Marge called out to him. "You're gonna buy something, darlin?"

"Yeah, a pack of American spirit, please." He put a twenty dollar note on the counter before asking. "Say, the diner, is it any good."

"Best peach pie you'll find in Oregon."

He grinned. "I love peach pie. Keep the change."

He exited lighting a cigarette and made his way to the diner. He took note of four cars and a camper van on the parking lot. Scanning the diner from the outside window, he noticed a family having lunch and guessed the camper van was probably theirs. Aside from them, there was only a couple of old guys nursing some coffee, a waitress and a cook. Satisfied, Kozik made his way back to the SUV at the back of the diner. He unlocked the doors from a distance and although the windows were tinted, he should have been able to spot a shadow, but he couldn't. His radar kicked in gear and he picked up his pace opening the passenger door in a haste. She was gone.

"Shit!"

Ella hated being told what to do, positively, one hundred percent hated it. She didn't not accept to be bossed around based on the simple fact that she was a woman, because if they were honest, Kozik would never talk to a man like he was talking to her. Plus would it be too much for him to say please, or thank you every once in a while?

She had waited for him in the car for more than ten minutes, when she'd noticed the outside bathroom at the back of to the gas station. She knew she should probably wait until he came back but as soon as she had seen it, her need for a bathroom break had become impossible to ignore. Plus, she really needed out of those clothes. So rummaging through her handbag she had found some paper and a pen and left him a note telling him where she'd gone before gathering her stuff and heading out. She pulled up a pair of tattered jeans which fit her perfectly before folding her black dress and putting it back into her duffel bag. She slid into her favorite tee shirt, a grey number with a loose fit and a round neckline before opening the door and exiting the stall. She had taken out the clip that was locking her hair in place, preferring to let it flow freely and lost the high heels for a pair of low converse and checking herself in the mirror, she found she was satisfied with the result. Now she felt slightly better, more…her.

The door to the bathroom violently opened and a furious Kozik walked in and made a bee line for her. "Are you out of your god damn mind? Which part of stay put did you not get?" he barked.

"I needed the bathroom. I left you a note."

He took a menacing step towards her, clenching his fists, the vein on his neck throbbing through his tattoo. He bent down to be eye level with her and wagged a finger at her raising his voice again. "I don't care! I asked you to stay in the car until I got back, Ella. In the goddamn car. Why the fuck can't you just do what you're told just for once?"

Ella felt a sudden raw anger rise in her . She clenched her teeth, meeting his accusatory eyes before answering coolly. "Stop yelling at me."

He continued his rant as if he didn't even hear her. "You need to start doing what I…"

This time, she couldn't contain it. "Quit yelling at me!" she yelled right back

"I'm not yelling at you!"

"Yes, you are, you're yelling at me! You're constantly yelling at me. I am so sick of this shit! Stay here, do what you're told, don't ask any questions! I'm not some croweater you can boss around Kozik!

He took another step towards her and she instinctively took a step back bumping into stall door. "No, you're just a fuckin' pain in my ass, Ella. Ever since I've met you all you've been is a gigantic pain in my ass! You really think I want to be stuck here with an ungrateful brat like you? You think I enjoy running after your wacky ass in the middle of nowhere? You don't think I'd rather be anywhere else but here?"

If looks could kill, he would be dead. She was fuming, staring daggers at him, her eyes burning with anger; her lips were pursed together so hard, they had lost their color. Then, she thought she saw something in his eyes that almost unsettled her, regret maybe? She couldn't quite recognize it but she saw his face soften as he ran his hand in his hair frustrated. ." Jesus Ella, I'm just trying to protect you and you're making it really hard."

That was another refrain she was tired of hearing. She wouldn't need protection if it wasn't for him. For them. No one had apologized to her for that. No one was trying to kill her before they killed that Mayan's sister. She was in danger because they put her there. She should be home, packing her mother's belonging, grieving, moving on with her life. Instead she was stuck in a hell hole bathroom being yelled at. She'd expect that from her father, she'd expect from Chance, but not from him. It angered her, it belittled her, and yes, it hurt too. She swallowed hard and seethed. "Screw your protection Kozik. And screw you."

She angrily grabbed her duffle bag and stomped out.

Kozik flatted his hand on the wall, dropping his head and letting out a frustrated groan. She really was testing his limits, but somehow he was who felt like a dick. He knew he shouldn't have yelled at her the way he just did. He had just been so scared when he'd gotten to the car and realised she was gone. In the few moments, before he found the note, he'd felt the same crippling fear he'd felt when he lost track of her and Ortega the day before. His throat had dried up, his heart had started thumping through his chest. He had been completely panicked. That's why he had lost it with her. He knew his words had hurt her. Again. Standing alone in that bathroom, he realised the way he was feeling wasn't her fault, he was the one who needed to figure shit out. He took a deep breath and made his way out of the bathroom, intent on apologizing to her. But as soon as he got out, he noticed her walking under the rain, expect she wasn't walking towards the car. She was going the opposite way.

"ELLA!"

He knew she'd heard him as he saw her quickening her pace. He started running after her. "ELLA!"

She glanced behind and started running as well but he was too fast for her. He was on her in seconds, locking his arms around her waist. She trashed around trying to get away from his firm hold on her.

"Let me go!"

He heard anger in her tone, but mostly it was the pain and desperation that got him. With his good arm, he brought her closer to him so his face was near her shoulder and his mouth inches away from her ear. "I'm sorry, Ella, I'm sorry." He whispered hoping to calm her down.

Instead he heard her let out a sob and realised she was crying. "Let me go!" she cried out again.

This time he did as asked and let her go. She took two steps away from him; just enough to be out of reach and turned to face him. The relentless that was poring on them soaking both of them to the skin. Her wet hair was sticking to her skin, as was her clothing as she struggled to regain control and catch her breath. She met his eye and he was able to read so many things emotions in that one look. Pain, grief, fury. He had wondered how long it would take for the events of the last few days to catch up with her. He was surprised it hadn't happened before. Throughout her ordeal, she had just held her head up high and tackled everything head on. Most people would have curled up in a ball and given up by now. But not her. She might be pig headed and infuriating but it took a special kind of strength to deal what she had faced with grace and courage. But you could only push someone so much before they pushed back. Everyone has a breaking point and as he gazed into her eyes, he knew she was about to reach hers and he wanted to be there for her, hold her and tell her it would be all okay."Elle."

She was quicker this time. Placing her hands on the top of his chest, she shoved him as hard as she could. "Fuck you Kozik." He stood there impassive, deciding to let her have it out. She came at him again, pushing again. "Fuck you."He had known it was coming but it still hurt him when he saw her face crumple in pain. "Fuck you." She sobbed putting her hand on her mouth to silence herself, still fighting it.

He closed the gap between them slid his hand behind her neck pulling her in his arms. He felt her trying to resist but he had a firm hold. He held her closely, his hand caressing the back of her neck in a soothing effort. "It's okay. Just let it out, babe." Suddenly it was all happening at once, her last defenses were falling down. He felt her hand slide beneath his cut and grip his tee-shirt, holding on for dear life as she buried her face in his chest, her body quivering as she sobbed uncontrollably. He looked up and saw the family he had spotted at the diner earlier, watching them suspiciously.

The father seemed to hesitate a moment, before calling out to them. "Everything okay there?"

"Everything is fine. She's fine."

The man looked at them a moment longer before shrugging his shoulders and walking away with his wife and kids. Kozik tightened his hold of her, kissing the top of her head while he murmured. "It's gonna be okay."

Ella wouldn't have been able to tell how long she remained locked in his embrace but by the time she pulled away it had stopped raining and the sun was making a shy attempt to come out. She hadn't wanted to leave the warmth of his body, she wanted to retain the feeling of safety she felt in his arms. The other reason was that she was scared of what she might see in his eyes when she finally looked at him. Sorrow? Or even worse pity? She didn't think she could handle him pitying her. But when she shivered, she felt him pull away.

"You're cold."

It hadn't been a question but head still on his chest, she nodded anyway before raising her eyes to him. It wasn't pity she saw, instead she saw him flinch and stifle a moan of pain as she disentangled herself from him.

"Are you okay?"

He pursed his lips and gave her a reassuring look. "I'm fine."

"Is it your arm?" She moved the cut aside and saw a pool of blood on his flannel shirt. "Oh, my god, I'm sorry, I must have pulled one of your stitches. I'm so sorry."

"Hey." His left hand cupped her face. "It's okay."

She covered his hand with hers. "What can I do?" she asked resolute.

He grinned at her through the pain. "You know how to sew?"

"Kozik…"

He tried to be reassuring. "It's like sewing on fabric, Ella."

"Except it'll be your skin." She took a breath knowing she didn't have a choice. It was her fault after all. "Ok."

"Come on."

She picked up her own duffel bag which had been thrown to the floor as she was trying to get away from him and followed him as they went back to the car. He opened the trunk taking out his backpack before locking the car again. They remained silent as they made their way towards the bathroom. Once there, Kozik put his backpack by the sink and she watched him rummage through it, coming up with a sewing kit, dressings and rubbing alcohol. He washed his hands and with a look invited her to do the same, before taking out a needle from the kit and using his lighter he sterilized the needle before giving it to her to thread it. She did as she watched him remove his cut carefully folding it and putting it aside before removing his shirt, finding himself in a white wife beater. He sat on the counter to be at the right height for her to work on him. "You ready?"

She met his eyes and he could tell she wasn't. "Maybe we should get you something for the pain."

"Don't worry love. I'm good at controlling the pain."

"I'm about to run through your skin with a needle, Kozik. Don't be a macho about it."

"I'm not."

She gave him a look that told him she didn't believe him.

"I can't..take anything. Nothing that would make a difference anyway. I'm an ex-junkie."

She looked down, kicking herself for pushing the issue and suddenly thought of something. He saw riffle through her bag and produce a small flask. She handed it to him with a triumphant smile. "Here. Don't drink it all, I'm going to need some of that."

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it with an impressed laugh. "Alright." He conceded opening the flask and taking a large sip, letting the liquid burn his throat. "Bourbon, uh? Figured you for a tequila girl." He teased as he returned the flask to her.

She kinked an eyebrow. "Guess I'm full of surprises." She retorted before taking a mouthful from the flask and setting it aside.

"Guess you are."

She gave him the needle to hold and let out a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She took clean gauze, imbibed it with rubbing alcohol and started cleaning out the wound to get a better view. She estimated that she'd need about three stitches. You can do this. She told herself as she tried to steady her shaking fingers. He raised his free hand and put it on hers. "You good?"

She nodded with more confidence that she felt and took the needle from his hand. As she picked his skin for the first time, Kozik clenched his jaw biting down a curse. He shut his eyes, gripping the side of the sink.

She pulled on the thread wondering what she could do to help when she noticed his dog tags. "Who's Herman?"

He opened his eyes and gazed into hers. "It's my first name."

She didn't even try to suppress her mocking smile "Your name is Herman Kozik? How did you make it through the army with a name like that."

"Watch it. "he warned playfully. " First, I wasn't in the army, I was in a Seal."

She must have looked really surprised because he scoffed "You know, the surprised look? It's offensive."

"Sorry I wasn't expecting that. What's the second?"

He frowned. "What?"

"You said, first as if you were going to make a second point."

"Second…Herman was actually my father's name. I'm Herman Kozik the second."

"I can't believe I didn't know what your first name was." She didn't say anything for a bit as she pierced his skin a second time. "Where is he now? Your dad?"

"He died when I was ten. Shot in the head. He went to buy a pack of cigarette and never made it back."

Her eyes flew to him "I'm sorry Koz… I didn't mean…." She stopped talking and sniggered "I feel like I keep putting my foot right in it."

"It's okay. I just... I haven't thought about it in so long you know." He tried a smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "He was a real stand up guy my old man, straight as an arrow. He worked his ass off for his family, never complained. Loved my mum to bits. After he died, she… she just changed you know. She started drinking, shacked up with some mean son of a bitch. Used to beat on us all the time. Then one day, I'm big enough to defend myself, and I do. I almost couldn't stop. He ended up in the hospital and I ended up in a cell. She took two weeks to post my bail. When I finally get out, she's there, waiting for me, alone. And I think, she's here to take me home you know, she hugs me and then she looks at me and tells me she doesn't want to lose him. And she just gets back in her car and leaves. I never saw her again. She died a few years ago, didn't make it the funeral."

He looked up at her, suddenly realizing he had talked for a long time and feeling self conscious. Her eyes were locked on his face. Sometime during his story, she had stopped moving, concerned only with listening to him, learning about him. Sure, everyone has a sad story, but his touched her, made her heart ache and she was starting to know exactly why. It was the same reason why she'd suddenly felt this feeling of stillness and calm while he was holding her, the same reason she hadn't been able to push him away from her thoughts since that fateful afternoon where he'd helped her on the side of the road. Ever since, he'd waltzed into her life, she had felt it but had refused to admit it. But she couldn't deny it anymore. She was falling for him and she was falling fast.

"Don't look at me like that, Ella."

"Like what?"

He smiled as he brought up his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his fingers. "Like you're about to make my life very complicated."

She felt a small smile creep up her face as he brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. Her eyes never leaving his, she took a step towards him and caressed his face following his jaw line before tracing his mouth with her with her thumb. She was suddenly a teenager again about to get her first kiss. Heart pounding, throat drying up, stomach refusing to sit still. She swallowed nervously and leaned towards him, slowly replacing her fingers with her lips. She barely touched his mouth at first, just lightly brushing it with hers. His lips surprised her by their softness. She intensified the kiss wanting to taste him. His hand slid under her hair as he pulled her closer. She opened her mouth slightly, as he whispered her name in her mouth before taking her mouth with his tongue.

I hope you enjoyed this, and as always all feedback welcome!