New chapter

Syd's point of view

We took off in the forest. I couldn't help but think of what he wanted to talk about. He will probably just say 'I am happy with Alice and I never want to see you again, I think you should leave, you are causing my family hurt.' I know he will say it. And I wish he would just say so I can leave. I told them already, I don't want to be the one to break apart a family. I will be extremely guilty, but no one understands that. I should have just stayed by myself, and never have joined the coven. I guess I am going to find out now. It seems weird; I wanted to be with Jazz, but now that I see him in pain because of me. I wish I never was born. I wish I just left them in peace. Then, he could be happy with Alice for eternity and he would have never had to have stupid old me ruining it. 'No, if he didn't love you then he wouldn't be so torn over this.' My subconscious countered. Well, I never care about my better judgment.

We stopped running after about ten minutes. We were in the middle of nowhere. We are probably about two miles out, maybe 3 or 4. I saw him stop hesitantly. I saw his eyes skim the forest and then he looked at me unwillingly. I felt a faint acheing in my heart. I sighed.

"I'll save you the trouble. I know, I know. You never want to see me again, you hate me, and I caused your family pain. I have heard it all before, just give me a couple of minutes to tell my coven that I am leaving and I will be gone before-." I was cut off by him chuckling. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because, you actually think I hate you and never want to see you again?" He said with a smile, as the chuckling stopped.

"Yes, I do actually." I said seriously. "I mean, how could you not? I put a rift in your family, and I caused you all pain. Everything you have built up, I crumbled down without a second thought. I ruined everything. How could you sit there so calm and not want to rip my head off. I wouldn't even protest if you did, I deserve it. That is what I am best at, causing pain and ruining everything. I just wish you would get it over with. Come one, tell me you hate me. At least then I will know how you feel. Just say it!!!" I yelled without even realizing it.

"You wrong." He said simply.

"You see I was right- wait, I'm wrong? No I am not wrong. You are meant to be with Alice, to be happy with Alice, not me! I don't deserve you, I don't deserve anything as good as this. I deserve to be burned to ashes and never to be thought of again. And that is what should happen, and it would have happened if you would just tell me to leave, then you can be happy with Alice and never have to deal with me again. Please, you can even kill me if you want. I don't care anymore!!" I said with a sigh.

"No, you are wrong, I don't deserve you. I can't kill you…. because I love you. I looked for you after the war, but I couldn't find you. I thought you died. Then, when I found Alice I thought it was meant, but this was meant. You are here for a reason, so we can actually be happy." I can see and hear the embarrassment with his words; I guess he is not good at discussing his feelings.

"No, you would have never felt like this if I wasn't here. You wouldn't have cared, like you should do now. You shouldn't care. You should want Alice and only her. I just can't let you ruin everything your family has made. I won't." I said seriously.

"My family only wants me to be happy, just like you. They want you to be happy too. They think of you as their child. Well, Carlisle and Esme do. Emmett and the rest of the kids think of you as a sister." Jasper said with a giggle. I just starred at him. How can he be okay with this? How can he not want to kill me?

"You should hate me." I said honestly.

"I don't, I love you. I mean how could I not love you? We loved each other even when we were humans. How can we doubt that?" He asked seriously.

"I don't doubt that, but I just think you should think this through before you ruin your life, and being with me isn't all love and fun, it is suffering." I admitted.

"I don't care." He said as he stepped forward. I looked straight into his eyes and looked for any hint of a joke. But there is none. He walked closer and crashed his lips to mine. I guess he was right, we are meant to be together. But I will always be guilty. Forever.

A/n this isn't the last chapter, and I am sorry it is so short.