Warnings: One of the characters dies in this chapter. You will never guess which one though!
3. Death to Pochi
The intrepid adventurers hacked through the forest, heading towards moody Pochi's lair. Soon they saw the entrance. They knew the cave belonged to Pochi due to the massive amounts of smoke billowing from its mouth.
"He goes through ten tons of marijuana each day," said Conrad knowledgably. Yuuri and Wolfram oohed and aahed, impressed.
"Oy, Pochi!" called Yuuri, waving and jumping up and down. "Come out, Conrad is here to get his arm back!"
There came a growl from the cave. Pochi emerged, the big blue dragon, now hardened and slowed as a result of the drug use.
"Hello, Pochi!" said Conrad, "I've brought you the money I owed you. Can I get my arm back now?"
Pochi shook his head. Conrad's eyes narrowed.
"You do not want to cross me, Pochi. Why won't you give me my arm back?"
Pochi pulled out the arm from a nearby bush and cradled it. Clearly, he was in love.
"While it is understandable that you would grow attached to my arm, since I am so awesome… it can only be attached to me!" He flashed a smile. Pochi was not impressed by this play on words.
"Come on, Pochi, give Conrad his arm back. You had a deal." chimed in Yuuri. Pochi shook his head. Then he licked the arm.
"That better be all you're doing with that thing," said Josak, "Or I think I'm gonna hurl."
"This is a dangerous path to go down, dragon. Will you really not return my arm?"
Pochi swallowed the arm.
"Well I guess that settles it," said Josak.
Conrad's hand moved to the hilt of his sword.
"I suppose… it does." He drew it.
What ensued was a battle of epic proportions. The smoke from Pochi's flames blotted own the sun. At one point, Conrad lost his shirt. Then he lost his pants. But he still fought, in only his underwear and his ugly brown boots, sword swinging wildly and the crazed arm-eating dragon. The others could only watch in amazement at what was happening before them.
Finally, Pochi reared up in the sky and went down for the kill.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" yelled Conrad dramatically.
"Roooooooar!" roared Pochi equally as dramatically.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" yelled Conrad even more dramatically.
"Rooooooooooar!" roared Pochi in what was quite possibly the most dramatic way possible.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Conrad gave a final dramatic, badass yell, and skewered Pochi in the heart. Pochi fell to the ground, dead. Then Conrad opened his belly and took out the arm, reattaching it.
"Justice has been served," he said, dramatically. Everyone stared down at Pochi's body.
"Wow, it's kind of sad that he's gone," said Yuuri.
"And yet, on the other hand, it really isn't," said Wolfram wisely.
"Looks like Pochi has become the poach-ee!" exclaimed Conrad!
Everyone had a good belly laugh. Conrad chopped down a tree, made it into a giant spit, and roasted the dragon, making jerky for all. So in the end, it was a win-win for everyone, really. Even Pochi. Because who wouldn't want to be eaten by Conrad?