The Misanthrope

Chapter 6

xXx

Another busy week came along, but this time Eren remembered to mention that he wouldn't be able to drop by Levi's house. The older man had only shrugged in response, but he seemed pleased to know. They've agreed to see each other on a Friday, after Eren's tests would have ended.

As much as he was happy hanging out with Armin and the rest of the guys, it felt empty. Eren felt like an ass. He had so many friends and he acted like an ungrateful moron, pining over Levi. He'd dreamed about those deep blue eyes, gazing upon him on several occasions. The dreams got more intense, but he would never remember what happened and he was always left feeling weepy when he'd wake up.

He felt some kind of longing he couldn't quite place, never having felt that way before. It was becoming concerning, especially during the week he'd spend without seeing Levi. Eren would catch himself daydreaming instead of working on his homework or studying for the tests. He wasn't especially hungry either, leaving his dinners half-eaten, earning Carla's concerned looks.

xXx

One evening as Eren was already in his room getting ready for bed, he'd overheard his mother speaking to his father, expressing her concern and wondering if their son was maybe in love, since Grisha hadn't noticed anything physically wrong with him.

In love...

Eren flopped on his bed and lay on his back; the words making him feel like there was a ton of bricks upon his chest. His dad had a few 'talks' with him, but those were mostly about male and female physiology – what would one expect from a doctor – not so much about feelings. He was advised not to bother any girl for sex until he was ready to marry her, and if they couldn't wait until marriage, Eren was informed what to do so he wouldn't put her in a delicate condition.

The talks were uncomfortable for Eren, because he couldn't bring himself to even imagine kissing a girl, not to mention touching a girl there, but he never said anything about it to his father fearing that he wasn't normal, especially because he had seen Jean and Connie slobbering all over girls. Maybe he was a late bloomer. Maybe it would pass soon. Maybe one day he would find a girl and want to kiss her. Or maybe not.

He would kiss Levi.

The sudden thought made him gasp and clutch the fabric of his shirt above his heart. It would feel good to kiss Levi. He recalled the feeling of Levi's hand in his hair, almost making himself cry because of the ache in his heart. He would touch Levi. He would touch him everywhere.

Those thoughts weren't making him feel uncomfortable, or icky. On the contrary – they made him flush and tremble. They made him stiffen in his pajama bottoms.

Not being able to resist, Eren reached down and squeezed his burning need through the fabric. It throbbed in sync with his heartbeat, almost making him groan. He wished it was Levi's hand instead of his own. He wished that Levi wanted to do that to him.

Sliding his free hand under his sleeping shirt, he splayed it flat against his stomach, smoothing upwards, imagining that it was Levi doing it. He would caress him gently and slowly like that, causing him to arch his body into the touch.

Eren whimpered quietly, biting his lower lip, the grip on his hard flesh tightening. One finger touched a nipple, causing him to shiver. Blinking up at the ceiling, he pictured Levi on top of him, smirking at him, his eyes glimmering softly in the darkness. Touching him.

A sigh escaped him while he rolled his hips. He wanted to hear Levi sighing and moaning. He wanted to call Levi's name.

He mouthed a silent 'Levi', which caused an instant reaction, goose-bumps rising all over his back and thighs. It made his belly coil and his arousal throb.

"Levi, Levi," he whispered into the darkened room, back arching in urgent need. "L-Levi," he clasped a hand over his mouth not to make noise as he shook violently and spilled himself into his grip, soaking through the pajama bottoms. He whined behind his hand, eyes rolling back from pleasure.

It had never been that intense.

Eren panted, still trembling in the aftermath. He felt like crying. There was no Levi beside him; he was cold and alone in his bed. Grabbing a tissue, he wiped his mess off of him and huddled under the blankets. Friday couldn't have come sooner.

xXx

"You sure you don't wanna go to the fair with us?" Mikasa asked, clearly not very fond of Eren's enthusiasm to go to Levi's. They were in front of their school, ready to go in opposite directions. "Everyone will be there. Even Annie agreed to go..."

"I'm sure. Besides, it lasts for a week. I'll go some other day."

She didn't seem convinced.

"Oh come on, leave him be," Jean groaned, tugging his girlfriend's arm. "He's got a military fetish. I wouldn't be surprised if he's crushing on his general," the blond teased.

"He's not a general," Eren huffed.

"Oh, but you are crushing?" Jean quipped and then yelped as he earned a sharp pinch from Mikasa.

"Stop bickering!" She turned to Eren and gave him a gentle look. "If you change your mind, you know where to find us, okay?"

"Sure," he smiled. She was like a sister he never had.

"Eren, can I talk to you for a sec?" Armin asked quietly. Eren nodded and stayed with the boy as Mikasa left with Jean, still scolding him for teasing her best friend.

"What's up?"

"Please don't be mad at me, I can't help but notice... Are you really... You know, crushing on this guy?"

Eren's mouth worked for a few seconds. A part of him wanted to admit all the confused feelings that coursed through his mind, while the other part was scared and embarrassed at the same time. A man's affinity towards another man wasn't something that a majority of citizens approved and it was enough to make a fifteen-year-old boy fear that he wasn't normal.

"I... I don't know," Eren finally sighed.

"So, it's not a clear 'no', huh?" Armin concluded, a soft expression on his face. "You know you can trust me. You're my best friend."

Eren smiled. He knew that already. "Thanks... And," he scratched the back of his head. "To be honest, I've never had feelings like this before. I just wanna be around him. We don't even have to talk, just looking at him, or knowing he's there makes me happy. I can't describe it," Eren laughed, a bit embarrassed.

"I see," Armin nodded and smiled. "I'm happy if you are. Just be careful, okay?"

"Okay," Eren agreed and squeezed Armin's shoulder in a thankful manner before they waved goodbye and Armin joined Mikasa and Jean, while Eren went towards Levi's home.

xXx

Entering into the garden, Eren heard something strange inside Levi's house. As he approached the front door, he heard an excited female voice and loud giggling.

That was new.

Wondering if he should knock or just turn back and go home, Eren was startled as the front door suddenly opened. There was a tall woman, wearing the standard military uniform, her brown hair tied back into a messy ponytail and a pair of glasses adorning her face.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, before the woman pointed at him and gasped.

"You must be Eren!"

"Um, yeah?"

"Oh my god, Levi, he's adorable," she squealed, turning to look at the man behind her.

Seeing Levi behind the tall woman, Eren leaned to the side and gave him a shy smile. "Hi..."

"Hey," Levi looked annoyed but not terribly so. "Eren, this is Hanji. Hanji, Eren." He muttered.

Hanji immediately squeezed Eren's hand and shook it, cooing at him. "I'm so glad to meet you! I don't know what you did to this grouch, but please do it more!"

"Shut. Up. Woman." Levi seethed, looking as if he was ready to strangle her.

"Oh please," she waved him off, turning her focus back to Eren. "You cutie, you're a treasure! This is the first time he invited me over in years! And I get the feeling I should be thanking you. He told me all about you—ow!" She yelped as Levi kicked her in the shin.

"Stop talking!"

"Ah-hah, feels like the old you is almost back," she grinned and hugged the shorter man to her chest. The view almost made Eren laugh out loud, seeing Levi pressed to her bosom, blinking and frowning with murderous intentions.

"You can let go of me now..."

"I will, but you have to promise me it won't be another three years before you agree to hang out with me again!"

"Fine, it'll be two years," Levi sighed and she laughed loudly, letting him go.

"I'll leave you two boys alone now," she chirped, pinching Eren's cheek. "Bye-bye!"

"Bye-bye, shoo, don't ever come back," Levi groused, but Eren could see a smirk on his lips.

xXx

"She seems nice," the boy said after Levi slammed the door shut behind Hanji.

"She's a pain in the ass," Levi sighed, his words sounding affectionate. "And it's your fault I invited her here."

"Mine?!"

"Yeah," the older man chuckled. "You couldn't come over this week and, well... I guessed I could use some company."

"I'm glad you had an old friend over," the teen said softly.

"I feel better now that you're here," Levi admitted quickly and turned towards the kitchen before Eren could see his face.

"Levi..."

"What," the man began to wash the dishes. Hanji had obviously been over for lunch, judging by the plates and cutlery.

The warm feeling mixed with nervousness fluttered inside Eren's stomach. He approached the sink and stood beside Levi, reaching with a trembling hand to a plate that Levi just rinsed. Their fingers brushed and Eren almost choked as he gripped the plate.

"I-I'll help... You wash, I'll dry," he croaked, hoping he wouldn't drop and crash anything.

"Thanks," Levi nudged him with his shoulder, sending shivers down Eren's spine.

"Do you want to go to the fair with me tomorrow?" The teen blurted out and then cringed when Levi stared at him.

Several emotions took turns on Levi's face as he observed the teen; surprise, mild confusion, irritation and then it was back to normal.

"Okay."

Eren felt like he might faint. "Really?"

"Yeah. If you want me to go with you, I'll go."

"I do," Eren smiled bashfully.

"I'll go," Levi smirked.

"Okay," the boy laughed.

"Fine." Levi chuckled.

"Fine," Eren half whispered, grinning.

He had no idea what to do with all these feelings inside of him. He wanted to laugh, cry and scream; he wanted to embrace Levi, jump up and down with him, dance around the house, kiss him and never let him go - all at the same time. Were all those feelings elements of love? If so, Eren was completely, head-over-heels, terribly and desperately in love with Levi.

xXx

To be continued...