The Misanthrope

Chapter 9

xXx

Eren stayed gloomy for the rest of the week, avoiding his mother's concerned looks and his father's attempts to talk. He had a feeling that they knew perfectly well what was going on inside of his mind and his heart. Armin did his best to help him out with school projects because he had finally lost his interest while longing for Levi. Doing well in school was the only thing that kept his parents content enough not to bother him about his miserable demeanor.

Mikasa noticed and came to her own conclusions about Eren's and Levi's relationship. She did not approve and Eren didn't bother to convince her that there was (sadly) nothing going on between him and Levi.

By Friday after school, Eren was so depressed, having thought through every single conversation he'd had with Levi, that he weighed his options – to go to Levi, or go home. Usually, he wouldn't even think about it and would happily run to Levi.

But now... Even though he thought it was enough to just be near Levi, Eren feared that it would show in the end – that Levi would find out about his feelings and ban him from coming over ever again. That was the worst that could happen. The best, though? The best would be if Levi returned his feelings.

The mere idea made Eren's stomach flutter. If only... If only. Ignoring his friends' worried questions and Jean's teasing, he made up his mind.

xXx

It took him longer than usual to come home because he spent the whole time thinking if he'd chosen the right thing. Would Levi get upset again when he didn't show up? Was he even expecting him?

"You're home?" Carla asked, somewhat surprised.

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but his wit failed him. He grumbled instead and made to pass his mother and go to his room, but Carla gripped his arm firmly enough to make him stay.

"Sit down Eren," she steered him towards the dining table.

He slouched over in his seat and stared at the wooden surface while his mother leaned back against the sink and studied him.

"If you flee into your room I'm going to follow you this time. Please tell me what's troubling you. I have my own idea but I want to hear it from you."

The teen glanced at her and wrapped his arms around his midsection. "What's your idea, mom?"

She gave him a soft look. "You're attracted to Levi-heichou."

Eren grimaced, not even trying to deny. If he'd been sad before, now he was completely depressed.

"Oh, Eren," Carla sighed. "It hurts me to see you like this... But, you know, you'll just have to endure and forget. This infatuation... I'm sure it's only hero worship and puppy love."

"What? No," the boy stared at his mother. Was she dismissing his true feelings, just like that?

"Eren, you're way too young to understand love!" She raised her voice in a distressed manner.

"How can you even say that? You can't tell me how to feel!" Eren stood up, the chair screeching over the floor.

"You have to snap out of it, he's too old for you! It's pointless! You're just tormenting yourself when he's never going to feel the same way you do!"

The last statement felt like a knife through Eren's heart.

Levi would never feel the same...

xXx

He ran. Not even realizing what his body was doing, Eren ran ignoring Carla's calls. The pain in his chest was suffocating, making his eyes burn with tears. There was only one place where he wanted to go.

He almost didn't notice the rain that was pouring heavily, soaking his clothes, sticking his hair to his face. Even his shoes got soaked through by the time he'd arrived to Levi's house. As it was already getting dark, he saw a soft glow from the window and felt relieved to know that Levi was in fact home.

The door opened almost immediately after he'd knocked. Levi was staring at him like he'd grown a second head and a pair of wings.

"What happened to you? Get inside," the man ushered him into his home.

Eren knew his face was a mess. The rain had mixed with tears and snot and he was embarrassed to stand like that in front of Levi. He made a motion to wipe his face into his sleeve, but Levi stopped him, making a horrified face.

"Don't you dare! Wait, I'll get you something." Levi hurried into his bathroom and soon came back with a roll of toilet paper and a few towels.

Giving Eren a concerned look, he handed him the items and then crouched down to untie the laces on his shoes, making him toe them off.

The teen wiped his nose but otherwise just stood there, shivering from the cold rain as well from the emotions running wild through his mind. Levi was taking care of him...

Levi stood up with a grunt and looked him in the eye. "You're gonna have to take these off," he motioned towards his clothing. "And take a hot bath, or else you'll get sick by this time tomorrow."

Eren made a meek grunt and a weak nod.

"You can tell me what happened if you want. But I won't pester you about it," Levi informed, leading the way towards the bathroom.

"I... I'll just wait here then, while you heat the water..."

Levi smirked. "No need for that. I have running warm water." He plugged the large shower/tub and turned on the faucets.

Eren stared. "How?" He'd used Levi's bathroom a few times, but never noticed anything while washing his hands.

"Hanji's witchcraft... I mean science," he chuckled. "She constructed a water-heating system and attached this shower and bath to it. One of the best things she's come up with, honestly. I've had it for years, still didn't blow up or anything."

Eren managed a tiny smile. "Still?"

Levi snorted and glanced at the quickly filling tub. "Strip."

The boy blushed furiously. While Levi poured some kind of scented powder into the water, Eren began to take his clothes off, nearly getting tangled into his own shirt as it was soaked and sticking to his body. He glanced at the bath and found rich foam floating over the water, smelling invitingly.

Levi discreetly turned his gaze away as if to show Eren to not be embarrassed. The teen was thankful. Having Levi see him naked on top of everything, he probably wouldn't survive the day.

Sinking into the bath made him groan. It was almost too hot, it smelled wonderful and he finally stopped shivering. The foam was hiding his body from Levi's view and he felt himself relaxing slowly.

The older man obviously had the same idea as he turned back towards Eren and then sat down on the closed toilet lid.

"So, wanna talk? You came later than usual. I thought you won't show up at all."

"I'm sorry," Eren whispered.

"I wasn't asking for an apology," Levi said softly. "You're troubled. If there's something I can do for you..."

"It's not..." the boy began, "It's complicated."

"You bein' a smartass?" Levi scowled at him. "Nothing's that complicated. You can only make it seem that way and then you have excessive shit to deal with when you're not supposed to."

"Why didn't you stay for lunch on Sunday?" Eren suddenly asked.

"I thought it wouldn't be a smart thing to do."

"Why?" Eren was insistent.

Levi sighed. "After you've spent the night here, and then me showing up at your parents' house... It would give your mother the wrong idea about you and me."

"Oh. Right," the teen hissed petulantly.

"Will you tell me what happened? Why did you run to me crying?" Levi asked, ignoring Eren's tone of voice.

"I didn't know where else to go. I kinda had a fight with my mom, and then I just ran away when she said-" he stopped himself before saying too much. But unfortunately, he knew that Levi wasn't going to let it slide.

"What did your mother say?"

What was the easiest thing he could say?

"She said that you're too old for me to hang out with all the time." It was the truth, but not the one that made him run.

"Well, she's right..." At the painful look that Eren shot him, Levi continued. "But at the same time, she's wrong too."

"What do you mean?"

"Eren, I'm old enough to be your father. You already have a father, so you don't need a father figure, or at least I hope you don't. So it's not that. We do hang out together a lot, but with the age gap, saying that we can be friends would be a longshot."

"Are you saying we're not even friends," Eren asked, his voice threatening to break. The day was turning into a nightmare.

"I said it's a longshot, not that it's completely impossible. But we've passed that point already, don't you think? You've seen me at my worst and you still stuck around. You even made sure I was okay. You were relentless even though I acted like a complete bastard, just to push you away from me. I'm saying it was a longshot, but now we're there."

Eren felt his eyes filling with tears. With blurry vision, he stared down at the foam, trying to wrap his mind around Levi's words. That was good, what Levi said, right? So, they were friends, but... But what? His mind was too fuzzy from everything to completely understand the older man.

"S-so... Why is my mom wrong?"

Levi chuckled. "You cried your brains out, huh?" He stood up from the toilet seat and moved to the edge of the bathtub. He ruffled Eren's hair, obviously trying to encourage him. "She thinks what any other mother would think. She's a good parent. But she's wrong this time because she probably doesn't know how your being here has influenced me, or that I've pestered you to do your homework before we'd have our baking and cooking activities."

"Well, she is happy with my grades."

"Okay, so why did you get upset over that? You could have told her that we're okay. I bet she thinks you're bothering me, being here every day. Well, not lately, but you get the idea."

"Because that's not all..." Eren blabbed before he had the time to bite his tongue.

Being so close to Levi made him stupid.

"There's more?" Levi asked, not moving from the bathtub edge.

What the hell. His heart was broken anyway. He squirmed to sit upright in the tub. "She's worried about me, and, um..."

"And?"

"M-my feelings..." Eren blushed, but forced himself to look up at Levi.

"What are your feelings?" Levi asked in a soft and low voice, causing a shiver down Eren's back. He was giving him that look again; the one that made his heart ache. The steel blue eyes were warm and calm on him, making him feel braver than he probably was.

For the second time that day, his body moved on its own until he was face-to-face with Levi. There was a flash of realization in the other man's eyes, but he didn't pull back.

"My feelings..." Eren whispered, leaning in slowly. His heart hammered in his chest. That was it. Now or never...

He felt Levi's fingers gripping his chin, stopping him and he focused his eyes on the man.

Levi seemed conflicted. His pupils were dilated, he was breathing through his mouth, a soft huffs of air that Eren felt on his lips. His breath smelled nice, Eren noticed as an afterthought. Levi's fingers were caressing his cheek, but he looked distracted.

"L-Levi?"

Levi blinked. His hand trembled and he removed it. "You should, uh..." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "You should take a shower to wash the foam off." He quickly stood up from the bath edge. "I'm gonna get you some of my clothes... And make tea..."

Eren stared at the door that Levi slammed behind him. He wasn't upset, though he was acting strange.

Was he flustered?

Despite having all his insecurities screaming at him, Eren chose to believe that he maybe, just maybe, might even have a chance.

xXx

To be continued...