Hey, y'all!
Yeah… it's been a while, but those of you still reading… thanks a bunch. Give yourself a cyber cake.
Same rules apply. There's no real swearing, and hopefully it's funnier. Humor is the while reason for making this story (and also matching up characters to talk with each other), so go nuts, and start reading for Pete's sake!
Comments:
-Mizudastuz (chap.1): Thanks, and Congrads! First sane person to respond! Yahoo!
-RuuunItsJasmine (Chap.1): Pikachu! Haha, and thanks for the review. Appreciate it!
-pezze234 (chap.1): One word can say a lot hehe. And I freaking love your profile pic. (If you couldn't tell, I'm a huge Itachi fan)
-ForbiddenLove25545 (chap.1): December 10th! Yayz! It's funny, my birthday's on December 14th, maybe… ah ha! It should be on my b-day! Thanks for the review, and your excitement! Makes my day.
And… those were the comments for the past two chapters! TA DA! So I really like when people review my stuff, so read, review, I don't know, for positive stuff, criticism, and possible ideas…? Just do it. And I'll post your comment, responding. It's a win-win, peoples!
So have fun with the story, and go nuts reading it! (Just remember to fav and review!) :P
3
"Tobi likes the teddy bear… no, no, wait! Tobi loves the pony! Oh please, Deidara Senpai, we have to get it! Please? Tobi is a good boy!"
The duo of Deidara and Tobi were out shopping for Jashinmas decorations, with Deidara dressed up as a mother (don't ask, Leader made him), and Tobi as a baby. But once Tobi's eye was caught in the toy section, he wouldn't stop bugging Deidara about the big plush horse on the top shelf. "Senpai, it's so pretty and pink!"
Deidara couldn't stand it anymore. He was on the verge of suicidal exploding, pheh, like that would ever happen. "Tobi! Shut up! People are looking at us… and we're at Wal-Mart, for art's sake, hmm! Besides, we need to get the decorations, hmm!"
"But Tobi's been a good boy this year, and look! The pony's got little flowers on its butt!"
Deidara sighed. He couldn't stand another minute of his partner's annoyance. He passed by the toy section, which then Tobi threw a fit and threatened Deidara with his Sharingan (he knew that Tobi was Madara), but he pushed the cart along with Tobi in it. One woman stopped and cooed.
"Oh, what a cute baby!" she complemented, bringing her own baby to play with Tobi. "What's his… or her name?"
Deidara sighed. This was a stupid idea from the start. All the Akatsuki had taken pictures of Mommy and Baby and were selling them on eBay for millions for funds on the Jashinmas party. How humiliating, hm, he thought as he looked menacingly at Tobi.
"This is Tobi," Deidara replied in a falsetto woman's voice.
"That's pretty good for a girl's voice, Senpai," Tobi whispered, the mother catching that.
"Shut up, hm! We're on a mission, hmm!" Deidara hissed back, and then tried to smile at the lady, but she ran away with the baby clutched in her hands. He wasn't paid enough for this.
"This is not a bang," the blonde concluded, raising a finger, "I should be in charge of decoration. Fireworks would be a bang."
"Uh, remember last year when you blew up the church?"
Deidara had thrusted a rattle into Tobi's mouth. "That was Halloween, hmm. Now, shut the hell up, and let's go and pick whatever out."
Tobi, saddened by the temper of his partner, had cried loudly, and with that, all other babies in the store had exploded into tears. Deidara narrowed his eyes. "I really hate you, Tobi."
. . .
"I can't believe Leader wanted us in charge of the invites!" Kisame squealed in delight! "I can invite all the Seven Swordsmen-"
"If you're talking about Zabuza and Haku, forget it. No cross-dressers and their boyfriends," Itachi concluded, licking an envelope.
"That means Deidara and Sasori can't come," the blue skinned man retorted, grinning in mockery.
Itachi sighed. "Okay, fine. Mail them."
" How about… um, Oro-"
"Hell no. He tried to rape me, remember?"
Kisame jumped out of his seat. "I was intoxicated and couldn't remember anything for the next day, geez! Besides, he'll end up crashing anyways."
Itachi sighed. This will be a long list. He couldn't understand why Leader assigned him and Kisame to mail everyone to come. Oh wait… Hidan blackmailed him for an awesome party in exchange for a picture of him and Konan making out on the top floor. He could have just told Leader that everybody knew about that. But he decided to keep that to himself for amusement.
"How about Sasuke and the kyuubi?"
Itachi's red eyes widened. "Oh god, um, fine, the kyuubi can come, but my insolent brother… he lacks hatred…"
Kisame sighed. "Seriously, you vow this thing every day, and he's going to kick your ass later. Just invite the kid besides, Suigetsu's coming if he's coming, and I challenged him to a drinking contest."
"No offence, but your village is drunken. Everything is war over there-"
"And that's why I left!" Kisame argued, standing up, two arms up, letters flying everywhere and onto the ground, "…They don't know how to PARTY!"
"Mangekyo-"
"Okay, OKAY! I'm quiet!" Kisame sat obediently, and Itachi scoffed. His partner was always afraid of his gen-jutsu since he used it on him and he was roasting on the barbeque for 72 hours. Kisame couldn't stand for a month. "Sheesh, take a happy pill once and a while…"
"You know what? I'll invite Sasuke."
Kisame straightened up. What did he just say? "Whoa, whoa, what about the whole 'I hate my bro' thing?"
Itachi shrugged. "I want to challenge him to a little contest." The Uchiha smiled, and Kisame gave him a suspicious face. "Okay… are you sure?"
"Hell yes. Now write the damn letter," Itachi grinned wildly, and Kisame swore he heard thunder and lightning in the background. The Shark Man rolled his eyes in annoyance, "Yes, master," he moaned sarcastically, then wrote Sasuke's name on the envelope.
. . .
"YEAH! OH F***ING YEAH!"
"Shut the hell up, you idiot! We're in a freaking grocery store."
The two 'zombie' members had been told to get the food for the party. As long as the food wasn't people (Zetsu), fish (Kisame would not eat his own kind), and sugar (Tobi and last Halloween), they were fine. Hidan grinned to himself. Leader never said not to get beer.
"Oy, Kakuzu! Let's get some booze!"
Kakuzu wanted t kill him, except that he couldn't. Immortality was cruel sometimes. "No. No. No."
"Then how about some snacks? Doritos?"
"No. Too expensive."
"Some f***ing punch, at least?"
"No. Reminds me of blood, and everyone in the room will die from my rampages. Me and Juugo."
Hidan cried, causing other people to give weird looks. "Come on, you old d***! I don't care if you s*** your pants about the price, it's f***ing Jashinmas! Get into the spirit a little bit!"
Kakuzu didn't listen. He was trying to get Hidan away from the figure outside the market. "Hidan, we should go…"
"What?" Then the Jashinist saw him. An old man in a red suit with a white beard was standing outside for the hope of donations to the Salvation Army. Hidan's blood started boiling with anger.
"Santa! Let me f***ing sacrifice you!" He ran probably about ten feet, and tackled the costumed man onto the ground, pulling out his scythe. Kakuzu sighed. Not again. This was the third time today. He took the groceries and left, leaving Hidan and Santa to wrestle it out… and to leave Hidan there for a little bit.
Me: And Santa's down! I think I saw Santa got tackled once in a movie, kinda gave me the idea... anyways, who's here today?
Sasuke: F***. I am.
Me: Oh boy! I get the avenger Uchiha! You know, I'm a big fan of your brother, and well, um… do you have his telephone number?
Sasuke: Why not me? I'm hot!
Me: You're eh. Look at what you've done also. Sakura loved you, and you broke her heart. Karin loved you, well, in a creeper obsessive stalkerish way, but you literally broke her heart. How about them apples?
Sasuke: I don't love them.
Me: Is there someone else? Like… NARUTO?
Sasuke: What? NO!
ME: Review or you'll have to see the secret picture hidden under Sasuke's pillow at night about him and Naruto-
Sasuke: No! Why do you have that?