Okay, I know what you're going to think, that I haven't updated in forever, and blah blah blah, but here I am! Jashinmas is officially running and in business!
So here are the comments:
-ArtIsABangDeidaraLove4ever (chap.3): Wow. That was long, but an epic review! Well, thanks! Yeah, thinking about Tobi running around naked as Old Man Madara is KINDA scary, but look at the bright side! He won't know! I don't judge you! Jashin rules! It should be declared as a new holiday! :D
-xAsphyxiate (chap.3): Yessss imagine Hidan in a present then you unwrap it and there he is! Merry Jashinmas, awesome reviewer! *gives you wrapped up Hidan for Jashinmas!*
-Jynxy119 (chap.3): I will never stop this series, and thanks very much for your positive review! (hugs to you too!)
-OsuwariKawaii (chap. 1): Well, well, if it isn't my favorite reviewer, and my kohai! Jashin shall save us all from Hidan's hotness.
-OsuwariKawaii (chap.2): Well, thanks! (extra exclamation point thrown in) :D
-OsuwariKawaii (chap.3): That's exactly what I was thinking when I wrote that Santa bit in there. Poor Santa at the Salvation Army, then Hidan just tackles him to the ground like that. ): Oh, there shall be shame upon the dreaded Emo Bird-headed Sas-GAY.
-DeadlyToaster (chap.3): Oh, hey, it's you! :D Well *blushes* thanks very much, and check out more! Hope you like it!
Okay, so there are all of them, so read, review (I love comments and feedback, if you hadn't noticed), and keep following the random, and sometimes bloody adventures of Hidan, Akatsuki, and freaking JASHINMAS! (Warning: I do not own the Akatsuki and Hidan, though I really want to, and also NSA on YouTube. Check out CanadianJutsu, and the Naruto Abridged Series, they're awesome!)
Have fun, kiddies! (Wow, that's something Oro himself would say… to Sasuke… 0_0)
4
Leader sunk under his desk, reading his porno's and Playboys he confiscated from Kisame. He probably cried for a day when he couldn't get his hands on the newest issues, and Itachi never slept that night. Oh well. Kisame's loss, his gain.
"Pein?"
Oh, f***, Konan! "Hey babe!" Leader popped from under his desk, sweating like heck, trying to conceal the best magazines he's ever laid eyes on. "What's up? Are my subordinates ready…" he sighed. "…to decorate?"
Konan decided not to tell Pein about the magazines still visible from under his desk. "Well, yeah, that's another problem. Hidan-"
"Oh me, don't say anymore," He lay down, scratching his head, "They're all back from shopping, right?"
"OY! PAIN IN THE F***ING ASSHOLE!"
No other human being in the right mind would say that other than that idiot. Kakuzu came in, something behind his back, exhausted. "Um, Leader, we came from the grocery store, and Hidan… well, we have a particular man's head decapitated from his body…" Kakuzu didn't want to stare at it too long, so he took it out and Pein almost gagged while Konan just stared and said nothing as usual. There was Santa's head, bloodied and with widened eyeballs.
"And to tell you, otherwise… it's Hidan's fault."
Hidan exploded in, scythe in hand. "OLD D***! HE DESERVED IT! JASHIN SHOULD BE PROUD!" Then he saw Konan, not to mention, the only girl in Akatsuki. Hidan jelled his hair back into an even older mannish look and out one finger tightly in his mouth. "Hey, b****. Like this, don't 'cha?"
"Hidan, for the last time, she's my girlfriend. Not yours. Get over it."
"F*** YOU."
Kakuzu was tired. He had Hidan all day, shopping. And he had the always simple argument with the cashier and decided to take one of his hearts and freeze dry it for later. And on the way back, Hidan had told him to (censor) off probably four times. And to top it off… he was in a bad mood.
"Hidan, if you don't shut up, my tentacles will come and rip that big head along with that small brain off your neck and leave you to freeze dry along with the heart I stole… got it? Or will we have to see the deer again?"
Hidan's poisonous eyes widened, having been tortured by the torturous deer and their leader… SHIKAMARU. "Oh Jashin, not him… not those devils of animals…" He got into proper beetle position and rocked multiple times while Konan gave him the WTF look. Leader then commenced.
"Okay then, Kakuzu, we spent some of your money…" Kakuzu growled intentionally, "… and also from the supports from the Deidara and Tobi picture… which indeed was priceless… I've always wanted to see what Deidara looks like in a dress…" Leader spaced out while Konan stepped mercilessly on his foot.
"Looks like Leader pissed himself for the third time today…" Kakuzu noted, while Konan giggled innocently.
"Just… get… everyone… in the meeting… now," groaned Pein, trying not to act like a wimp.
. . .
"Okay, so who did you invite and send letters to, Kisame?"
"This is a long list here, um, well, the Kyuubi and his little friends, Sasuke and the gang, the Sand Siblings, Killer Bee, Well, he is the DJ, um, Danzo-"
"You… invited… WHO?"
Kisame stuttered. Itachi suddenly got so pissed off so easily, I mean, it was a good list! "Um… Danzo…"
Itachi stared into space for a second, and when Kisame wasn't expecting it, a sucker punch came out of nowhere. "Dude, what the hell do you have against Danzo?"
"First off, that awful man took Shisui's Sharingan…" Kisame could swear that tears were cascading off of his eyes, "…and then he has a TON OF THEM… do you know how many girls he's going to take away from me?"
"Um… what-"
"Girls, Kisame, GIRLS! I know you've never felt it, but I sure have! The Sharingan attracts so many girls at one social event, and then when DANZO comes… ugh… HE'S GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY ATTRACTIVENESS! He's so freaking old, and with those eyes, he's going to take away my dignity! I've never been called ugly in my entire life, and thanks to you, he's coming with those eyes! They're not something you get out of the 25 cent candy machine! (A/N: NSA, people. No copyright!)
"Um, okay then… I'm going to get the big pill now, Itachi-san, and make your weekly appointment with Dr. Phil, okay?" Ugh, he hated playing Nurse Kisame.
Then out of nowhere, Leader's voice came out of the radiator in a booming way. "MEETING. NOW… KONAN, I SAID I WAS SORRY… WELL, I'M SORRY DEIDARA'S HOT IN A DRESS! WELL THEN… WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO KISSING PRIVILAGES? Wait… it's still on? Damn..."
Typical Leader, Kisame thought, dragging the hot headed Itachi with him. Hopefully he wouldn't be screwed after the party when Danzo gets all the girls. After all, he never did, except for that girl… he smiled. He had some chance. Hopefully she comes, after all, she was on the list along with the Seven Swordsmen, and probably all of Konaha, and Oro's gunna come sometime with his nerd little sidekick… but that's probably not going to happen again ever since Halloween… oh well…
. . .
"Okay, so we got everyone here, and the decorations, and the food, right Kakuzu?" Leader eyed the five-hearted treasurer, hoping that he had not been cheap with the novelty. He limped to his podium with the toe crunch Konan had given him.
"We spent a wise amount of money…" the immortal nodded regularly.
"You old d***! We got nothing but the f***ing Santa head! No chips, no beer, nothing but s***!" Well, everyone knew who had said that part.
"Are you kidding? No beer?" Kisame roared, just coming with Itachi muttering to himself about a person named Danzo.
"Well, I guess not," White Zetsu spoke. "WELL THEN, WHY DON'T WE GO NOW?" Black Zetsu growled impatiently.
"Yeah… Zetsu, you can't go to the supermarket… because since we have no Christmas-"
Hidan interrupted, jumping out of his seat. "JASHINMAS, YOU BIG PIECE OF SH-"
"Okay, okay…" he sighed for probably the sixth time today, "we need a Jashinmas tree, and you're the only thing in the organization that… somewhat looks like a tree."
"MOTHER F***ING LEADER, YOU SHALL PAY FOR IT… IN MY STOMACH," Black Zetsu complained, raising a fist in the air. "It's okay, we'll be a good Christ-"
"JASHINMAS! You big tree s***!"
"…Jashinmas tree!" White Zetsu confirmed, raising his hand to proceed.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Black retorted, pissed on one side. "But that would be nice, that would be setting a good example for Tobi, besides, that would restrain us from eating Kisame like last year."
Kisame turned purple and ducked down.
"Okay, okay," Leader yelled, ordering everyone to stop talking, "then Zetsu's our tree. What do we have for food?"
Silence filled the air. Nothing, just as Leader thought. "Then Kisame and Itachi are going to the grocery store to get some decent food… and hopefully things that won't explode in our faces, Deidara, anti-fish related, Kisame, and spicy hot wings, Itachi. I don't care how hot they are, they taste like GOD. Well, I guess the thing is that you are what you eat… but anyways, you both will go to the store, Hidan and Kakuzu will set up the decorations-"
"And what about Senpai and Tobi and Sasori-no-tall?"
Sasori interrupted. "You're an idiot, Tobi. At least I have the talent and the brains in this group."
"I'm offended, hm! Art is an EXPLOTION!"
Thank god Leader had his whistle with him. He blew it loudly, and everyone froze. Ah, the magic whistle. "You three idiots will go do whatever. I really don't care, because usually you three always screw things up."
Tobi gave a head salute while Deidara and Sasori were still arguing. "Yes, sir, Tobi's a good boy!"
Leader scoffed. Yeah, up yours, Madara. "Okay then, break up and get started before this all comes crashing down at us in the end! The meeting is over!"