After Skylar and Flynn and the nurses finally left Marie alone to enjoy her son, she sighed. This was a bittersweet moment for her, to be sure. She couldn't help but smile as she took in the sight of her newborn- round, cherubic, bald...there was no doubt in her mind that somehow, in his own way, Hank was watching over her and little Henry.
She closed her eyes for a second, just to take in the smell of baby powder and the freshly laundered baby outfit that little Henry now wore. And to think, all this time, Marie had somehow assumed that only baby girls could smell so sweet.
The sound of footsteps coming closer caused Marie to open her eyes, wonder what the nurses needed from her this time. But as the steps came closer, Marie rubbed her eyes to make sure she was seeing what she thought she had been seeing. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be.
"God, Marie- you just gave birth to a little quarterback and already you got that sweet ass back," Hank grinned as he approached her.
She squinted- could barely see him. "Hank?" she asked coarsely. "Where are you? I can't see you. Is that...is that you?"
"It better be me, or I'd be asking some serious questions about you right now and whose kid that it you're holding," he laughed.
"Why...why can't I see you?"
"I don't..Jesus Marie, I don't have the answers for everything. I used to think I knew it all but now..."
The tears started falling down her face, one teardrop even hitting the tender forehead of baby Henry.
"Come on, Marie. Don't be doing that. He's...he needs you now."
Marie didn't say anything. She just nodded sullenly, looking only at her newborn son. "So you know...about Henry?" she finally asked.
"Of course I know! I know everything, don't you know that by now? I guess I'm kinda like Santa Claus...he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...he sees you when you're trying out those new clothes you bought for yourself in the dressing room at Macy's..." Hank teased.
Marie, through her tears, rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're impossible, you know that."
"But you still love me anyways! Hey, I get it...a hunk like me is pretty hard to forget..."
"So you know...about our boy? Henry...Flynn picked out the name. Do you like it?" she smiled, still straining to see him.
"Hell, yeah! He's the spitting image of his own man...kinda puts all those rumors to rest about you and Gomey I always had in the back of my mind..."
"Hank!" She laughed so hard that a bit of spittle came out her nose.
"Real classy, Marie. Anyways...I do have a question..."
"Anything." She self-consciously wiped her face.
"Why Steven? What the hell kind of middle name is that?"
"You know why I picked it. I know you and your partner had your differences, but I just thought...he was there for you when I couldn't be, and I had to find some way to thank him. Sounds kind of silly, doesn't it," Marie sighed.
"Ah...what the hell. Gomey was a good guy. If I had to work with a beaner...I'm just glad his name wasn't like Conseulo or something. Can you imagine? Henry Consuelo Shraeder!" Hank laughed in that hearty laugh of his that Marie missed most of all.
"I'm sorry, Hank. I wasn't there for you. I let you go out and I should have done something. I should have stopped you. I should have done something, anything...It's my fault..." she started to sob.
"Hey, hey...Marie...you did what you could. You stood by me. You believed in me. You wanted the same things I did...I know I didn't tell you this enough, but you were a hell of a wife. Best wife a guy like me could have asked for."
"Oh, Hank. I love you. I still do. I can't help it. Everyone tells me I should move on, that I should just let go, but I can't do that. I still sleep in your football jerseys at night. I don't want to move on. I just...I can't!"
"Marie, you gotta stop that. You know you have to keep going. Who else is going to look after my kid? And if he's anything like me, he's going to be quite a handful. You gotta stay strong. I need...I need you to take care of my boy. Can you do that for me?"
Her lip still trembling, all Marie could do was nod. She still couldn't see Hank, but she looked down at their son, who was in every way the spitting image of Hank. That should have made everything better. But somehow, she found herself missing her husband all over again.
"Marie...look honey, I gotta go..."
"No! Please...don't go. I need you. Henry...he needs you. I can't do this alone. Please don't leave me!"
"I'm sorry, honey. You know I love you. I'll always love you, okay! Now it's time for me to go...but I'll always be with you guys. Always."
Marie looked around, searching furiously for her husband so she could hold on to him, to keep him from leaving. But all she saw when she looked around was nothing more than her hospital room.
Just like that, he was gone, once again.
0000
"Marie...are you okay? You've been out quite a while...you fell asleep holding Henry," Skylar smiled as she brushed the hair out of her sister's eyes.
"Where is he?" Marie gasped, sitting up in bed, not caring about the physical pain she was in.
"Henry, he's in the nursery. They couldn't' wake you to feed him, so they're giving him a bottle now. It's okay, you can still nurse him if you want to..."
"No!" Marie shouted. "Hank...where is he?"
Skylar looked down. "Flynn, honey, please..please go get her doctor."
"I don't need a doctor! My husband, he was just here. I didn't see him but I heard him, he talked to me...he knew things..."
"Ssh, you might still be feeling some of the effects of the epidural.."
"No, goddammit!"
Skylar was shocked. She'd never heard Marie use that kind of language before.
"He was here, he saw me, he saw Henry...he knew things. He knew I named his middle name Steven, after Gomez...I haven't even told you or the nurses what his middle name was...if Hank wasn't here, how could he have possibly known that?"
"I don't know..."
"You probably think I'm crazy, don't you?" Marie questioned.
"Of course not...labor can be very trying, it's an emotional time for you...I understand. Really, I do."
Marie sank back into her bed, "He was here. He told me...he said he'll always be with me. I guess you're right. Maybe I am crazy."
"No, honey, you're not. If you say Hank was here...I believe you. I'm sure he was, and still is. It's okay if you want to hold on just a little longer, " Skylar comforted her.
"You know the hard part?"
"What's that?"
As Marie pulled the blanket up as high as it would go, she softened her voice. "I still love him more than ever."
Before Skylar could say another world, Marie had thankfully drifted off into a sleep. The nurse came in and asked what was wrong.
"nothing," Skylar waved her away. "It's okay. She's going to be just fine."
tbc