Chapter Nine: Love Is Blind

It was a huge hangar. A gigantic, white hangar that I would not have noticed if Roy had not pointed it out. "There it is," he murmured, pulling off onto a small road. He stopped the car and got out. I followed suit. He dragged his bag out of the trunk and I took mine. Then he closed the trunk and headed towards the hangar. He went to a side door, moving as if he knew this routine pretty well. He handed two cards to a man with an official-looking coat on, and he glanced at them, then glanced at me, then unlocked the door and let us in.

When I entered, it was…mind-blowing. Completely indescribable. There were rocket parts being assembled and welded, and about ten people wearing glasses poring over blueprints and prototypes. There were at least one hundred men in the hangar, most of them working on the mechanics of the machine, but plenty of them were walking around and observing and taking notes. A short, rotund man in a suit scurried up to us.

"Number 72?" he asked.

"And 65," said Roy, nodding towards me. The man nodded and checked something off on a clipboard.

"Right this way, sirs," he said. We followed him down a plain hall, then into what looked like army barracks. There were at least thirty beds on the ground, but they were bunks, so one was on top of every one. The man pointed to a bunk in the corner, then left.

The rest is classified. I worked on rockets, yes, but I was told almost nothing else about what we were doing. Everyone was kept in the dark. There was minimal contact between the workers.

All in all, we spent four days and three nights there. As soon as our time was up, we were shoved out the door, and there the car was, in the exact same spot we had left it, except the engine was warm, as if someone had just driven it.

When we were on the road again, Roy glanced at me. "So?"

"So what?" I asked.

"What did you think?"

"It was interesting."

He smiled slightly, but was silent. In years to come I would still find it hard to talk about this first experience there. It all seemed far too confidential…but still. I couldn't help thinking about it, though…

Suddenly, I smiled. Something to worry about that was not related to my past. What a change…

And before I knew it, the car shuddered to a stop. I opened my eyes, then, as Roy shot a small grin my way, I realized I had been sleeping. My face flushed red and I got out of the car, into the stinging night air. There was an unfamiliar car parked on the curb. I took my things from the trunk. Roy said, "I'll see you tomorrow, kid."

I nodded vaguely, and he drove away. For a few moments, I stood there, outside the apartment, staring at the door, thinking about the past few days. It all seemed so unreal…

I reached for the doorknob, but before I could reach it, it turned and the door swung open. Rebecca came out, red-faced and giggling, dragging Al along by the hand.

"Oh, you're back!" said Al, pulling on Rebecca's hand to stop her. He was grinning stupidly, and his hair and clothes looked a lot more untidy than they should have. Then, surprising me more than anything I had seen in the past week, Rebecca threw her arms around Al's waist and pressed herself against him.

"Come on," she whined. "We'll be late if we don't go now!"

Al grinned as he held her close to him. He wasn't even blushing. "Alright, alright. I'm taking Becca to a movie, I'll be back in a few hours, 'bye!"
He strolled away with Rebecca and got into the car that had been sitting outside the apartment. I stared after him for a second, then shook my head and went into the apartment. Before I go on, let me just say this: Al was, even then, a complete neatfreak. Everything had to be clean and orderly before he left the place – I know that my complete disregard for anything clean annoyed him. But the weird part was that when I walked into the apartment, it was ridiculously messy. Things were strewn about the floor, the small table was covered with notebooks and old mugs of coffee and tea. I stared at it for a long minute, trying to take it all in.

The worst part was when I went into the bedroom. Most of it was just as messy as the rest of the apartment, except for my bed and a small space around it. But beside Al's strangely unkempt bed, there was a pile of clothes – men's and women's. I could only assume that the women's clothes were Rebecca's and that she and Al…

"Oh, no," I said out loud. How could so much have happened while I was gone? And Al… no, he couldn't have. He wouldn't have. It's so unlike him…

But Winnie and Roy had warned me about Rebecca. And that brief hello with him outside… Rebecca had him eating out of her hands. How could he have let this happen?

I dropped my things on my bed and went back out to the main living space of the apartment. Slowly, thoughtfully, I began to clean up. Three hours later, after the sun had gone down and the moon was trying to poke out through the gray clouds, the door of the apartment opened and closed, and Al waltzed in, looking half-drunk, humming a tune.

He looked around the room. "You cleaned up!" he said cheerfully. "That's good."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "…Are you feeling alright, Al? Still a little sick?"

"Nope!" he said. "Not sick at all! In fact, I have never felt better." He collapsed onto the armchair, that airy grin never leaving his face. "I just took Becca to one of those new films, they're real good, you should go see one if you get the chance sometime."

"So… where is Rebecca?"

"I drove her home, of course! Oh, by the way, I bought a car."

"What?"

"Yeah! Becca knows this guy who sells used automobiles, so it wasn't even that expensive!"

I stared at him, hardly believe my ears.

He let out a happy sigh and sunk lower in his armchair. "It's the greatest thing," he said. "You should hear her laugh, Brother, it's like a chorus of angels …" He closed his eyes, a blissful expression on his face.

"Al… you and Rebecca…"

"She's so amazing!" he burst out. "She's perfect! I can't believe it!"
"Yeah… neither can I," I said darkly. He shot a glance my way, one eyebrow raised.

"Why are you always so cynical?" he asked me, his grin widening. "What Becca and I have – it's pure, it's true, it's right. I love her."

I did a double-take. "What? Come on, Al, be serious."

"I am serious! I'm completely serious…" He leaned forward and grinned conspiratorially. "You will never guess what we did last night."

I stared at him. "I don't think I want to know."

He laughed. "Okay so Becca knows this girl who-"

"Stop!... Really, Al, I don't want to know."

He sniggered at me behind his hand. Then he sighed loudly and stood up, making his way to the bedroom, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Tomorrow," he announced, his voice coming muffled from the other room. "I am going to take Becca downtown, and, at sunset, I'm planning-" he paused, and there was a sound as if he was rooting around in somewhere. He popped out of the room and threw something small at me. "-to ask her…" I inspected the small velvet box. "…to marry me."

When I flipped the box open, there was a sparkling silver ring tucked in there. I stared at it for a second, then Al snatched it out of my hands and flipped it shut.

There were so many thoughts running through my mind, but all I could say was, "How did you afford that?"

He grinned. "I've been saving up for something important. I didn't tell you because I thought you'd spend it on something useless."

"Something – useless?" I spluttered. "Like a ring, maybe?"

His look turned hostile instantly. "This is not useless," he sniffed. "Becca's going to love it."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"What, you don't think I mean it?"

I stared at him, an incredulous look on my face. "Of course you don't mean it! You've only know her a few months!"

He glared at me. "How could you say that? Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?"

"But that's not real, Al-"

"Just because it's never happened to you doesn't mean it's not real!"

"I – of course – but – come on, Al," I said, still stunned. "You cannot possibly be seriously considering this!"

"I've already made up my mind!" he said loudly. "And I would appreciate it if you could learn to respect that."

I still stared at him disbelievingly. He shot one last glare my way and then disappeared into his tiny office, which I had nearly forgotten was there – he once said that he didn't like working in there because it made him feel claustrophobic. He's more of an open air person.

I shook my head, wondering what the hell Rebecca must have done to make him so damn weird all of the sudden.

Around midnight, Al still hadn't come out of his office. I began to wonder if I had been a little harsh with him. I mean, sure, it was a rash decision, but he's really just a kid and he's sensitive and maybe I should have been a little nicer when I totally rejected the love of his life.

And… he can't really love her, right? There's no way. There's no way that he could have fallen in love with her and she could have convinced him to do all that crazy stuff while I was gone. Maybe she drugged him.

Or maybe he really loves her and I just am so narrow-minded that I refuse to believe it. See, personally I'm of the opinion that there's no way you can truly love anyone until you really get to know them… but maybe that's different with Al. Maybe I just need to let him do what he wants.

But Winnie and Roy told me specifically to keep Al away from Rebecca. So I can't just sit by and watch him get hurt.

But wait a second. How else is he going to learn?

I sighed and stood up. The part of me that is forever Al's older brother decided to go check on him.

I quietly opened the office door. "Al?" I asked.

The only reply I received was a loud snore. Al was draped in his office chair, the small velvet box clutched in his right hand. Papers that were half filled up littered his desk. The ink was still drying on most of them.

Shooting a guilty glance towards my brother, I stepped forward and examined the papers. The first one had a short paragraph on it. 'And then she spoke quietly in my ear. No limits, restrictions; what we have here is what we are forever. I shall stay as long as you hold me. Don't forget what you have learned; or else I have taught you nothing. She told me this on no more than a single breath. Her scent filled my nose and her skin was warm.' I frowned, read it a couple times. It didn't sound like the type of things Al would normally write. I picked up another page. 'The earth is no comparison to that light which I have seen tonight; in her eyes, I see the truth. Her eyes are brown and they are dark; yet they are so full of light that it pales me when I am with her. She smiles with honesty that almost makes me look away, ashamed, a shadow in her bright light. Her arms are wide open, and so is her mind. When she turns to see me, there is nothing in my soul that she does not scrutinize, yet she does not look away. She sees my heart and she knows my darkness; but she loves me, and I can feel it when she touches me. It is electrifying. It is love.'

Well. As usual, the way he writes made me as proud of him as ever, but I couldn't help but be a little disturbed as to what he's writing about. He's like a lovesick teenager…

I shifted a few papers around, not wanting to read every little thing. But then I brushed away a paper filled with sketches of eyes, and when I saw what was revealed I could feel myself blush. It was an inked drawing of Rebecca, and it was distinctly Al's style, and it was beautiful, of course, but… the drawing was unmistakably of Rebecca, lying completely naked on what looked like Al's bed. I covered it back up hastily, my face burning, and feeling very silly for that sense of embarrassment that was slowly rising up in me. It was just a drawing, for Christ's sake. It's not as if I actually looked at her.

It was with that feeling of hazy awkwardness that I left his office and closed the door, leaving him to spend the rest of the night curled up in his uncomfortable office chair. I went into the bedroom and tried to settle down a little, but I couldn't even think of sleeping when I could still see the clothes crumpled around Al's bed, and it was made all the worse because of that drawing that I saw, because now I could picture Rebecca's body perfectly in my mind...

I shook my head and shuddered, trying to clear my head of the disturbing images that kept intruding upon my peace. It was kind of hard to sleep with Al's bed there, empty at the moment but still it was so obvious that there had been more than one body in it during the night before. I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Then I glanced at his bed. Then I squeezed my eyes shut tight, as if I could close my eyes and be rid of all the images in my head. I sighed and got up, thinking that maybe I should sleep on the couch that night.

It was hard to sleep, but by concentrating on counting backwards from one thousand using only prime numbers, I drifted off at about three in the morning.

I woke up when I heard the sound of a door opening and closing. My eyes fluttered open and I looked around. Al was giving me an amused look that said 'what are you doing?' I slid to a position where I was sitting up, and stretched. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked, smirking.

Not while I could see the place where you and Rebecca slept last night, I wanted to say. But instead, I just sighed and said, "No. You were out pretty fast, though."

He shrugged and a little bit of a pink flush came into his cheeks. "I guess I just haven't been getting enough sleep."

I rolled my eyes at this.

"You sure you're not sick anymore?" I asked him. "You were pretty bad when I left."

He smiled. "I'm fine, I guess. The magic of modern medicine, you know? Oh, and Becca made this really good tea for me which she said she learned how to make when she lived in California, but I think maybe she meant when she met someone who lived in California, because as far as I can tell she's definitely never been to California and-"

"Alright, I get it," I said. He smiled. It was quiet for a second, then he sat down in the armchair. He was still holding that small velvet box.

"You were right," he said at last. "I don't think I'll ask Becca to marry me just yet."

I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "Finally coming to your senses, hmm?"

He shrugged. "I guess." He paused, then, staring lazily at the little box, he continued, "It's so strange. It's like I'm under some kind of spell with her. I…I love her, but I did some wild stuff while you were gone." He held the box up to eye level so he could examine it better. "Nothing too regrettable, I don't think, but…" He sighed, shook his head, and lowered the box. "If I ever say something really unlike myself, Brother, feel free to punch me."

I laughed. "Consider it done."

He smiled at me, then coughed. "Ouch…" he murmured, massaging his chest.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I've just had this cough for a while. Other than that, though, I'm fine."

Suddenly, I remembered that flash of crimson on his hand I had seen before I had left Al. The face of Alfons Heidrich appeared in my mind and I looked at my brother. Some of my pain must have shown on my face, because Al frowned and asked, "What's wrong?"

I said nothing for a moment. It was an odd couple of seconds. Before Al crossed the Gate, I had taken comfort in seeing Alfons, and knowing how much he looked like my brother Al. But now that that Alfons was gone, it was as if I could see a shadow of his face in Al's. "Brother?" he said hesitantly.

I dropped my gaze. "I wish you could have known him."

"Known who?"

Their voices were so alike. I was sure that if I closed my eyes, I could picture Alfons. "The other Al," I said. "The Alfons in this world."

Something like uncertainty flickered across his face. "Yeah," he replied. "Me too."

"He never believed me," I said, and I realized a note of bitterness was creeping its way into my voice. "When I told him stories about us, I mean. He just laughed at me. He always dreamed of coming to America."

Al looked at me, a concerned expression on his face. "Do you miss him a lot?"

I thought about this for a moment, then shook my head. "Not really. I don't think about him much anymore. Besides, I have you now." I smiled sadly at him. He managed a weak smile in reply.

There was something about his smile that didn't quite seem right, though. He looked disturbed… he looked guilty. I rubbed my eye tiredly. "Oh yeah," I said. "Do you mind cleaning up a little in there?" I asked, nodding my head toward the bedroom.

He looked confused for a second, then turned red. "Oh," he said. "I, uh, thought I already…" He shot a shaky grin my way. "Sorry."

He disappeared into the other room, and I couldn't help smiling at him. After a few moments, he came back out. "Sorry," he said again, still red in the face.

"You should probably give those clothes back to Rebecca," I said, grinning at his embarrassment. "She might be missing them."

He mumbled something incomprehensible. "What was that?" I asked.

He shook his head, staring at his shoes. "Nothing."

Al paused for a few seconds, then said, "I have a class I should be getting to. And don't you have work?"

I glanced at the clock. "Oh, no!" I said, and jumped to my feet and into the bedroom, where I quickly got dressed and ready for the day. Al was still laughing as I walked out the door.

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OH DID I SAY THIS CHAPTER HAD EXPLANATIONS?

Sorry. I meant next chapter. I totally forgot about this chapter. This was before I had developed Rebecca's character any more, so I wasn't sure how she was going to turn out. She becomes a major character later, but the question is... is she good for Al? Or very, very bad?

Thank you so much for reading. Any thoughts you'd like to share?

(Oh and also, the whole rocket-conspiracy-stupidness also gets explained later, although admittedly not in the next chapter... but what is in the next chapter is a little something more about Winnie's family...)