E heh... e heh... S-Ranked Kittens people... please don't kill me... I know it's been a long time, but I'll update soon! Promise!
*coughs*
Moving right on, here's a new chapter of Akatsuki Survival Camp! Complete with some random OCs, and fangirls! Now with sixty percent more Orochimaru!
DUDE, THAT SUCKS!
...sorry. He's just a creepy ancient gay pedophile transvestite who preys on little boys. *meep*
But he has snakes! Snakes are cool!
Ahem.
REN'S REVIEWS
Yuti-Chan: Thankies! I can't wait, either! It'll be soon, no worries. Next chapter, there's a challenge!
Katarina Wolffe: ARIGATOU, KATA-CHAN! That scary girl who writes these is mean TT . TT I'm hiring you as my lawyer!
crazychocochica17: Everyone needs their daily dose of Hidan *blushes*
evil-tea: Thanks!
Ninja-Cookie-monster: Leader-sama never takes his meds. NEVER. Neither do the rest of us, but that's beside the point.
AND: Would you like to ask me questions about myself? The Author, and Ren! I'll probably answer most of them... be them about stories, ideas, myself...
AND HERE'S THE NEWEST CHAPTER! I even have a recap. Jashin, I'm so cool...
Recap:
"AND LET THE REALITY SHOW BEGIN!"
"AND LET THE REALITY SHOW BEGIN!" Ren yells, throwing her arms to the sky, making herself look like a rather demented purple haired bat.
Deidara suppresses the urge to snicker.
Wind rushes by.
"Um... right..." Ren rustles around in her contract form that's suddenly tripled in size, looking for something. "AHA!" She pulls out a thick pamphlet labeled "THE GAME PLAN". Bringing out the purple pen, she then starts scribbling and crossing off things,"Right... at the island... made greeting speech... loosened tie twice... check, check, check... um... glasses appeared... fangirls released..."
This is enough to break Itachi out of his "Shisui's-alive" emo daze,"What?"
"Fangirls. You'll be facing hordes of them. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ren cackles evilly.
Hidan smirks,"I knew there was a fucking reason I- um, me and Jashin-sama liked you!"
"Smooooth, Hidan." Kisame chuckles, elbowing the swiftly reddening Jashinist.
"Shut up, you fucking heathen!" he yells.
"Now, now, boys." Konan admonishes.
Ren smirks, and suddenly turns to Sasori,"SEVEN LETTER WORD USING ALL VOWELS IN THE ENGLISH ALPHABET!"
Sasori mulls it over for a few seconds,"Er... sequoia."
"Thank you, 'Sori-kun!" she chirps, scribbling it down somewhere,"Kakuzu, you'll be happy to know I just won twenty-five thousand dollars. Moving on, I've gotta get you guys to your bases! Ready? SET! FIGHT FOR 'EM!"
Silence.
"Ren?"
"Yeah?"
"What are we supposed to be doing?"
"Oh. Go and find a place for a base. With your partner. And build shelter. With your partner. And build a firepit and get some food and water. With your partner. Did I mention to do these things with your partner?" Ren dead-pans,"Also, here's some crap that I'm supposed to give you." she hands each of them a leather bag, some long sticks, a tarp, a large canteen to hold water in, two matches, two energy bars and a rusty kunai.
"Okay..." everyone starts ambling down the beach at a leisurely pace, holding their stuff.
"GODDAMMIT PEOPLE, RUN BEFORE THE OROCHIMARU GETS YOUR SCENT!" she yells.
Cue sprinting.
Nobody, repeat, nobody wanted to be hunted down by the Orochimaru.
WITH TEAM ART
Deidara and Sasori decide to build their shelter in a small clearing near the beach, but cleverly hidden between some trees and bushes.
"Deidara, you get the food, and I can build the shelter." Sasori offers.
"Okay, un." the blonde agrees, and goes running off into the forest.
"DEIDARA!" the red-head yells back at him.
His head pops out from behind a tree,"Yeah?"
Sasori chucks a lime green spray bottle at him,"Anti-Orochimaru spray. I made it when I figured out that the teme was taking picture of me while I slept." he shivers in disgust at the memory.
The blonde's eyes tear up in pain for the agony his poor poor danna must have gone through. He chalks it up to the horrific smell oozing from the bottle, because Deidara was just too manly to ever cry. (A/N: I love Deidara. Don't get me wrong, I really do, but the guy looks like a girl and whines like one. I am also a girl, and I know I whine to guys just to be annoying :P . So, no yelling at me. Mmkay?)
Sasori starts building the shelter. He starts by shoving the two bushes far apart. They create two barriers on each side. The two trees on the other side of the bushes can be guard posts. He lays out a thin layer of twigs, and then some brush, and then he covers that up with a thin layer of mud.
While it dries, Sasori drags some large branches over. He then starts covering the mud with another layer of twigs and branches to make a comfortable floor. The floor is done.
He then pulls the branches up and makes a roomy shack-like structure using the bushes and trees to lean sticks and large pieces of bark on. Chakra strings also made the business a whole lot easier.
By then, Deidara has come back, lugging the leather bag full of berries and nuts. He's gone through Sasori's "This is Poisonous, This is Not" and Zetsu's "Plants 101" lectures, so he assumes most of the food was good.
"Danna, un, there's a little stream a few hundred yards from here! This place is perfect, un! And wow, the shelter's looking artistic, hmm!"
"Thank you, Deidara. Now, I'm going to need your help. You need to help me cover the walls with bark and leaves, and then mud, and then leaves and bark again."
"Got it, un!" the blonde puts the bag of food in the shelter, in the corner the puppeteer points out to him, and starts helping.
TEAM LOLLIPOP
"Ooh, ooh, Zetsu-san! Tobi can build the shelter- wha... oh, Zetsu-san! That shelter looks nice!"
"Go and find some fruit for us, Tobi. Goddamn brat will probably find us poison ivy..."
Their shelter was in the deeper parts of the forest.
TEAM YAHIKO'S ANGELS (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Konan waves her hands and a layered paper house appears. Pein nods and they both go in.
Ren glares at the back of Konan's head,"That was too easy..."
The house isn't even protected, just there on the middle of the beach.
TEAM THE CAKE IS A LIE
Hidan and Kakuzu work together (yelling all along) on the house. It's a rather lopsided things, with some gaps and holes, but it seems sturdy. They used the tarp to create a tepee effect.
Their shelter is near the stream Deidara mentioned.
"This is fucking hard!" Hidan moans.
"Stop bitching, Hidan!"
TEAM SAMEHADA
Kisame, being the man-power of the team, bends a few trees in half, and has Itachi pile sticks where the tree didn't cover. They set the tarp on the ground as a floor, and pile rocks as a firepit.
"Hmmm... I like it." Kisame says.
"Hn." our favorite ice cube says.
BACK WITH REN
"REN-NEE!"
"EMILY-CHAN!" Ren jumps out of her skin, yelling. She's in a blue bikini and lounging on the beach. It's her break, so she's planning to get as good of a tan as she can get.
"...why are you wearing a bikini, o-nee-san?"
"Because I am. NYAH!" Ren sticks her tongue out at her "little sister". Emily isn't related to her by blood, but she still refers to her as her little sister.
"Okay... GIMME POCKY!"
"I DON'T HAVE POCKY!"
"TOO BAD! GIMME!" Emily tackles her "sister" and they roll around in the sand for a few minutes.
Emily then gets off Ren, pouting,"You don't love me. You don't give me pocky. Hmph."
Ren hmphs as well, and turns away.
Silence.
Ren breaks first,"Aw, Emi-chan, I would give you Pocky, but I don't got any!"
"Hn."
"Aw, no, don't start Hn-ing."
"Tch. Hn."
"NO! Stop Hn-ing!"
"Hn."
"STOP HN-ING, DAMMIT!" Ren rolls over and pins the cotton-candy-blue-haired girl to the ground.
"Fine, jeez! Imma go hang out with Itachi." Emily gets up and runs over into the forest.
Ren sweatdrops from her position in the sand and decides it's not worth it.
"Why do I even keep her around..." she mutters.
"BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!"
"Right... love..."
YAY! IT'S STARTED (SORTA!)!
Reviews are good! If you review, I'll give you a chocolate Deidara! And a Kisame plushie to snuggle with. Cheesecake to extra good reviews, as well!