Monday and Tuesday had passed without any incident of note and Jack was feeling a whole lot better, his nightmares having seemingly abated, but Wednesday night was a totally different story. They were back with a vengeance, one after the other until they seemed to create a complete story in his head; a story he already knew the ending to and again he'd had to resort to extra medication to quieten his heart. This time he'd resisted the urge to call her, afraid that he'd scare her by blurting out the entire terrifying tale.

He was sitting in the kitchen early on Thursday morning staring at a breakfast he couldn't eat, his stomach tying itself in knots as he fought against the urge to throw up. His cell-phone rang and vibrated making him jump as it did a strange dance across the table.

"Hudson." It came out as more of a grumpy bark than a greeting.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself, this is a pleasant surprise." The sound of her voice had an instant calming effect on his fraught nerves but it was short-lived.

"You might not think so when I tell you why I called."

He swallowed and tried to clear the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to make my flight this afternoon." She confessed miserably.

"Sue!" He'd spoken a little too loudly but luckily she couldn't hear him anyway.

"I'm sorry. One of the Units has been working on a big bust which is going down this morning. It involves a known mobster who's been terrorising parts of the city."

"What has that got to do with you, it's not exactly a case for counter-terrorism?"

"I know but they're trying to cover all angles and they've put in a request for me to be part of the Surveillance Team."

"Why you..?" He hadn't realised the question could be taken two ways until she picked the wrong one and was immediately on the defensive.

"I have done it before and quite successfully if you remember."

"Sue, I didn't mean..."

"This guy they're after..." she interrupted before he could explain."...Marinaro. He's a vicious thug and we need to get him off the streets as soon as possible."

The name triggered something in Jack's mind and his annoyance turned to panic. "Sue, please don't go with them, it's too dangerous. You..."

"I can look after myself Jack, and besides, I'll be safe in the van."

"Sue..."

"I have to go. If I miss my flight I'll drive. It'll probably take me about four-and-a-half hours, depending on the traffic. I'll call you when I know more."

"Sue, please..." He heard the click as she hung up and clutched the phone to his chest, desperately trying to get a grip on his emotions before re-dialling her number but all he heard was the engaged tone.

o-xxx-o

He walked into the bullpen without acknowledging any of the greetings he'd received and sat down at his desk, booting up his computer and hoping she'd call in reply to the text message he'd sent earlier, the feeling of dread inside him barely suppressed. The rest of the Team exchanged questioning glances but chose to leave him be, all except for Lucy who watched him closely and he wondered if it had been her Sue had called when she'd finished with him. Hitting return on his keyboard he looked up at the wall clock seeing that it was almost lunchtime and a small flicker of hope began to form inside him.

~ Maybe the nightmares had been just that – a product of an over-active, over-protective imagination? ~

He looked up again when D walked into the room and it was extinguished immediately, the Supervisor's expression worth a thousand words.

"Heads up people, I have news."

"From the look on your face, I'm guessing it's not good." Myles observed.

"No, it isn't I'm afraid. You might all want to be sitting down."

"Don't tell us we're working over Christmas again." Tara pleaded.

"No, your plans are safe."

"Then what is it, mate?" Bobby queried.

"...Bad news from the New York F.O. There was a major operation this morning to take down Louis Marinaro."

"The mobster..?"

"Yes Myles, but unfortunately it went wrong, badly wrong. The task force went in but they were ambushed. It was a massacre by all accounts."

"Didn't they have a Surveillance Team?" The Aussie exclaimed horrified. "What were they doing, wrapping their Christmas presents?"

Jack's hands had a death grip on the arms of his chair but he didn't speak.

"They were in the van on the other side of the road," D continued. "One of them stepped outside for some reason and when he climbed back in, someone rushed up behind him and tossed in a grenade before wedging the doors shut."

"Hell, I wouldn't want to be the one who has to clean that up."

"I just thought you'd all want to know."

"Any word on survivors," the Bostonian asked.

"Some of the task force made it but the Surveillance Team..." He tailed off shrugging his shoulders.

Jack stood up and removed his sidearm, locking it in the drawer for safe keeping before taking his jacket off the hook and making his way to the exit. He was vaguely aware of someone asking him where he was going but he didn't respond. There were no tears, no signs of shock, no anger... just calm, measured steps as he walked away. He'd lived through this moment so many times in his dreams that now it had actually happened, there was nothing left inside him. He couldn't see or hear anything apart from the steady thudding sound of his shoes on the corridor floor.

"What was that all about?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Harvard."

A muffled sob had them all looking in Lucy's direction and D hurried to her side.

"Luce? What's wrong?"

She sniffled and pulled out a tissue from the box on her desk. "Sue called me this morning, she sounded upset. Said that she and Jack had had a disagreement because she didn't think she'd be able to make her flight."

"And this is relevant, how?" The tall blonde Agent queried.

"She couldn't make it because she'd been requested as part of the Surveillance Team for an operation this morning."

"No!" Bobby shouted angrily.

"Oh... dear... God" Myles exclaimed at almost the same time

"Was it?" D asked for clarification.

"Louis Marinaro. And I doubt she was wrapping presents at the time." Lucy gave the Aussie a scathing look.

"Do you think someone should check on him?" Tara inquired tearfully.

"No, leave him be."

"Damn," Bobby cursed softly slumping back in his chair.

o-xxx-o