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The Festivity Infusion Process
Chapter Two: The Wishbone Dichotomization
For someone who didn't like holidays, Sheldon Cooper was certainly taking this one very seriously.
He had all but ignored his tradition of watching the Thanksgiving Day parade in favor of double-checking that the mashed potatoes had just the right amount of salt, and to ensure the turkey was cooking on pace to reach just the right internal temperature by lunchtime.
He had even shoed Amy away after she'd accidentally used a whole teaspoon of vanilla, rather than the half-teaspoon that was called for in the pumpkin pie recipe. Insisting that if the pie was ruined it would be her fault, he'd pushed her out of the kitchen and was now sweating profusely as he tried to get everything done at the same time.
"I've never seen him like this," Raj said, as the group watched Sheldon scurry from the stove to the refrigerator and back again.
"He's got it under control," Amy insisted. And she knew he did. He was just refusing help and was making it hard on himself.
"Hey, Ames, come help me with this," Penny said, unfolding a bright orange tablecloth. Howard had 'borrowed' a large fold-out table from the university, and they'd moved the coffee table and Leonard's chair out of the way to make room for it. Sheldon had forbidden them to move the couch, which he claimed would risk altering the integrity of his spot.
Amy grabbed one end of the fabric from Penny and stretched it over the table, and Raj brought over his boxful of decorations that he had determined would be his contribution to the event. He immediately began dropping dried leaves down in the center of the table.
"Um. No." Sheldon firmly pointed his whisk in Raj's direction.
"What?" Raj glanced between the table and Sheldon. "What's wrong?"
"We will not be having dead leaves next to our food. Get that out of here."
"It's just a decoration. It makes it look fall-y."
"Fall-y?"
"You know… autumn-like."
Sheldon just glared at Raj and Raj glared right back at Sheldon. After a few awkward moments, Raj finally threw his hands into the air.
"Ugh! Fine! But you're ruining my vision." He scooped the leaves back off the table and into his box, then pulled out a few pumpkins.
"They're fake!" He groaned when he saw Sheldon's scolding look.
The fact that the pumpkins were plastic seemed to satisfy the lanky physicist and he returned to the skillet where he was making gravy.
With some trepidation, Amy joined her boyfriend in the kitchen to see if he needed any help. He eyed her for a moment, clearly weighing whether or not to risk giving her another shot. Ultimately, he knew that he had way too much left to do by himself, and he allowed her to begin boiling water to steam the green beans.
"This is so romantic," Amy said with a cheesy grin in Sheldon's direction. "Making Thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend."
Sheldon frowned at her. "Honestly, Amy, what don't you find romantic? We could be clipping the bushes outside the apartment and you'd think it was romantic. You're just making green beans for crying out loud."
Amy shrugged. "Still. I like it. I'm glad we're together."
"Well, you're as good a person to be with today as anyone else," he smiled at her as though he was giving her a great complement. "At least there will be some intelligent conversation at the dinner table."
Amy dumped the green beans into the strainer and smiled.
A knock on the door snapped their attention away, and they turned to watch Leonard jog over to open the door for Stuart, who was gripping a bottle of red wine in his hands.
"Seriously, Stuart?" Sheldon admonished. "Alcohol?"
"Alcohol?" Penny perked up. "Where?"
Stuart held the bottle out to her, and she quickly skipped over to retrieve it from him. "Thank God!" she exclaimed, before squeezing past Sheldon to grab a glass.
"Nice to see you, too, Penny," Stuart said from the doorway.
"Don't just stand there, Stuart," Sheldon said. "Were you born in a barn?"
Stuart slithered in and closed the door behind himself, then Sheldon turned his attention to Howard. "Howard, why don't you make yourself useful?"
"Useful how, Sheldon? You already told me I couldn't possibly be any help today."
"No… what I said was you couldn't possibly help with anything important," Sheldon clarified. "You can set the table."
"How is setting the table not important? Where are we going to eat if the table doesn't get set?"
"Oh good grief – it's just setting a table. A monkey could do it."
Howard glared at him. "You do realize I gave up spending a night of Hanukkah away from my mother for this? Do you know what that means? Do you know what kind of hell she's going to put me through tomorrow?"
"Wait," Penny butted in with a dumbfounded expression on her face as she poured herself a glass of wine. "I thought Hanukkah was Jewish Christmas? Why is it at Thanksgiving?"
"A – Hanukkah is not 'Jewish Christmas'," Howard rolled his eyes. "And B – It rarely falls on Thanksgiving. But, it does this year… which means in just one day, I've skipped two major holidays with my mom." He groaned. "I'll never hear the end of this."
Bernadette wrapped her arm around her husband. "Oh Howie, its okay."
"She'll get over it," Sheldon brushed him off. "Just buy her a present. Apparently, women like that. Get her a nice dreidel or something."
Howard gave Sheldon a long, piercing stare, but decided it wasn't worth his effort to argue any more. "Where are the plates, Sheldon?"
"I love American holidays," Raj said, holding his very full belly. "Its an excuse for me to let myself go. It's socially acceptable to eat until you burst."
"I hate to tell you this, Raj," Howard said. "But any day is an excuse to overeat in America. You don't have to wait for a holiday."
"Here's an interesting fact about turkey," Sheldon said, earning a groan from everyone but Amy. "While turkey does contain the sleep-inducing amino acid, tryptophan, that's not the real reason that people fall asleep after eating Thanksgiving dinner."
Sheldon paused with a grin, waiting for someone to take his bait… but nobody obliged.
"Do you know the real reason everyone gets so sleepy after eating on Thanksgiving?"
Again, everybody just stared at him.
"Its because the meal has so many calories it just makes you lethargic and lazy."
"You know what's putting me to sleep?" Howard asked. "Your talking."
Sheldon glared at him.
"Howie, I wish you'd be nice," Bernadette nudged her husband. "It's the holidays. And Sheldon did just make us this wonderful turkey dinner."
"Ooo… that reminds me! Who's going to break the wishbone?" Penny asked with excitement. "I vote Amy and Sheldon!"
"Why us?" Amy asked, setting her spoonful of mashed potatoes back onto her plate.
"Because it's your first holiday together. You two should make a wish!"
Amy thought it over. Making a wish with Sheldon would really be quite lovely indeed. But he'd never go for it. He was above such 'childish hogwash', as he would say.
Still…
She batted her eyes in Sheldon's direction.
"You're logic makes no sense, Penny," Sheldon shook his head. "But very well."
"Really?" Leonard asked with surprise. "You aren't going to resist? I thought you weren't keen on wish-making."
"I'm not. I think the notion of making a wish on the fracture of a bird's furcula and expecting it to come true is ridiculous. I equate it to the likes of wishing on a coin as it's flung into water or wishing on a shooting star … or rainbows. A bit of space debris burning into the earth's atmosphere or a colorful refraction of light by water in the air have nothing to do with the fate of a person. It's all nonsense."
"Then why are you doing it?"
"Because I know Amy wants to, and I really don't care enough to argue about it. I blame the food. It's already making me lethargic."
Amy smiled at him. "Thank you, Sheldon." It was a small gesture, but the fact that he was willing to do something silly like this for her without hesitation made her tingly inside.
"Here you go!" Penny held the tiny bone out, and Amy took one side in her hand. Sheldon grimaced at it and grabbed a nearby potholder. He shoved his hand inside and awkwardly grabbed the other side of the wishbone.
"I'm not getting the bird flu because of this," he said when he noticed Amy's questioning expression.
"Sheldon," Bernadette said. "That's not how – "
"Oh, just leave it," Leonard interrupted. "It doesn't matter."
"Let's get this show on the road," Sheldon said.
"Ok… Ready you guys?" Penny asked. They both nodded. Amy closed her eyes tightly and repeated her wish in her head. There were several things she was hoping for in the future… marriage, a family, to make a historical and world-changing contribution to science… but there only one thing that she desperately wanted now.
"Pull!" Penny shouted.
Without much force, the bone easily snapped in half. Sheldon's piece was obviously the larger of the two.
Drat, she thought. She really had hoped she might get her wish. Sheldon had most likely wasted his on something stupid.
"What'd you wish for?" Amy eagerly asked. A new train set or for a chance meeting with Leonard Nimoy, most likely.
"No!" Penny exclaimed before Sheldon could answer. "He can't tell or it won't come true!"
Sheldon groaned. "Honestly, Penny. It's silly enough that you believe a wish made on the breaking of a bone would come true in the first place. But it's downright ridiculous to believe that revealing my wish would have any impact on the outcome of said wish."
"Whatever, Sheldon." She threw up her hands and walked away, tossing the broken wishbone into the trash. But to Amy's dismay, Sheldon headed Penny's advice and said nothing more on the matter. He pulled the potholder off of his hand and quietly grabbed a piece of pumpkin pie… grimacing a little as he pushed the first bite into his mouth.
"Too much vanilla," he mumbled, scrunching his nose.
The tryptophan – or basic lethargy, if you were to believe Sheldon – eventually got the better of the group. One-by-one they drifted to sleep in various spots across the living room, finally leaving only Amy and Sheldon awake, watching a TiVo'd version of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade together.
Sheldon was mesmerized by the humungous Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man balloon, and snickered as the balloon's handlers struggled to keep control of it. Amy noticed his eyes sparkle as he watched. He's so happy. He clearly had a more child-like love of whimsy than he chose to admit. His obsessions with trains and superheroes were proof enough of that.
"So, what did you wish for?" She asked.
He looked at her with confusion. "When?"
"When we broke the wishbone. What was your wish?"
"Oh…" He paused a moment, then returned his eyes to the television. "I didn't make a wish."
"What? That was the whole idea!"
"It's silly, Amy."
Silly? Of course it's silly! But she'd thought he had actually participated in a bit of silliness with her - and that had made her happy. Until now, that is.
"Well, what would you have wished for? You know… if you believed in such nonsense."
Sheldon thought about it. "More wishes."
Amy sighed. "You can't wish for more wishes."
"Why not?"
"That's a given, Sheldon. It's like an unspoken rule of wish making. You don't get more wishes."
"Oh. Well, then I'd wish for the Nobel Prize."
"For what accomplishment?"
"I discovered an element, Amy. Surely that's worth something."
"That was an accident."
It was true. Sheldon was still angry about all the attention he was getting as a result of his mistaken discovery.
He frowned. "Well, what did you wish for?"
Amy hesitated. She hadn't planned on revealing her wish to Sheldon.
If she'd had unlimited wishes, she would have wished that Sheldon's qualms regarding intimacy would disappear. She would have wished that he would desire her. That he swoop her in his arms, gaze into her eyes and plant a big, sloppy kiss on her face right then and there. An epic kiss. One worthy of a Meg Ryan romance movie. Hey, so long as I'm wishing – I may as well make it spectacular.
However, it really all boiled down to one thing that she wanted. She wanted Sheldon to love her. She could do without all that other nonsense, so long as she knew for certain that he felt about her the same way that she did about him.
Occasionally, she would get this sense that Sheldon really did love her. But that's all it was - A feeling. She couldn't even pinpoint exactly what would trigger it. A sideways glance here, a brush of her hand there... nothing anyone else would notice, of course. She herself wasn't even sure it was real.
It would just be nice to know.
But, alas. She got the short end of the wishbone. And Sheldon had squandered his wish.
Maybe next year.
"Well?" Sheldon pressed.
Amy didn't want to lie to him. But she couldn't tell him the truth, either. He'd freak out for sure. She settled on a half-truth, something that wouldn't scare him too much… she hoped.
"I wished that you would kiss me tonight. On the cheek, of course."
"Really, Amy? A kiss?" He rolled his eyes. "You don't want a Nobel Prize?"
"Well, of course I want a Nobel Prize. I'm just confident that I will get one of those without having to wish for it," Amy said, then focused on her fingers picking at the seam of her denim skirt. "A wish is for something that you... that you aren't sure will ever happen."
"Are you saying that I won't get a Nobel Prize without a wish?"
"No! Quite the opposite. I think you would have wasted your wish, to be honest."
"Oh," Sheldon said. "Well… you wasted yours."
Amy froze in place - her eyes locked on her now unmoving fingers on her skirt. What? What did he mean by that? Was he… was he planning to kiss her?
Suddenly, the room got very warm, very quickly. Amy reached up to move her cardigan away from her neck. Why is it so hot?
"You think I… wasted my wish?" She couldn't hide the hopefulness in her voice, but Sheldon didn't seem to pick up on it.
"Yes," He sounded as though it was obvious. "We've kissed before, so you would be wishing for something that has already happened."
Oh. She felt deflated.
"Yes. I've kissed you," Amy said. "I want you to kiss me."
Sheldon's forehead wrinkled. "What's the difference?"
"There… It's…" Amy stuttered. How do I explain this? "It's just… different, is all."
"I fail to see how. It's the same two people… the same –" He cringed, "body parts involved."
"I don't know, Sheldon," She said with frustration. "It just is."
A surprisingly loud snore from Howard took them both by surprise and they froze, waiting to make sure he hadn't woken up.
The tiny man snorted again, and twisted around on the floor to get more comfortable before his breathing returned to normal. Satisfied that he was still asleep, Amy returned her attention to Sheldon. She was careful to whisper this time, though, lest she wake any of their friends up.
"Do you ever… want to kiss me?"
Sheldon looked horrified. "Honestly, Amy," he whispered. "Is this appropriate after-dinner conversation? In the midst of all our friends, no less?" He motioned to a snoozing Leonard lying sideways in his chair, and Stuart, who was sitting with his head back on the couch beside Amy... a bit of drool running down his face.
She frowned at Sheldon. Of course he would do all he could to avoid talking about this.
"Fine," she said softly. "Forget it."
"You got the short end of the wishbone anyway," Sheldon argued. "So the conversation is moot."
"You're right, as always," Amy said, dropping her chin into her palm and returning her attention to the television.
The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man had become tangled in a few light-poles and crews were working to undo the ropes. Sheldon snickered at the predicament on the screen in front of him, oblivious to his girlfriend's growing frustration.
Amy's mind raced. Sure, she wanted Sheldon to kiss her - but she didn't need him to do so. She did, however, need to know how he felt. The uncertainty was driving her crazy.
She was determined to figure it out by the end of the month. I want to start the new year fresh, she thought, a feeling of empowerment slowly oozing through her.
Major changes were definitely coming. She wasn't sure exactly what the changes would be - or what they would mean for her relationship. But they were coming whether Sheldon was ready or not.
Yes - Amy was certainly feeling empowered. But she was also horrifyingly nervous.
Notes: Thank you again for the great reviews! I can't reply to everyone (the guest reviewers), but just know that I REALLY appreciate it. I hope I can keep you all happy! I've got some great (*fingers crossed*) stuff planned! :o)
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