Chapter 13: Off Like A Prom Dress

Shikaku stopped by the mission assignment room Monday morning, even though he knew he was already staffed to Tsunade for the foreseeable future. He was primarily interested in what Yoshino would be working on, but also to know where Chouza and Inoichi were heading out to, also.

The room was crowded, full of jostling shinobi. Mondays were always the worst. Lots of people would be heading out for multi-day missions so the crowd was usually thinner the rest of the week. He saw Yoshino but once again they were on opposite sides of the room. Chouza and Inoichi were behind him and their names were some of the first called. They were going out to a remote village near the border to help clear out a group of bandits who were harrassing villagers in the area. They'd been gone a few days, it looked like.

More names were called and more shinobi departed. He looked up at the clock, wondering how much time he could get away with and just how angry Tsunade would be if he kept her waiting. But as the room cleared it was easier for him to make his way over to Yoshino and he plunked down into the chair beside her.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," she smiled back at him, and added, "Well, I see you can get up and get dressed before you noon if you need to."

He gave her a pretend scowl and whispered "Troublesome woman, I knew when I met you, you were nothing but trouble." He twirled two fingers in her hair but let it slip quickly as she was called to go with the team assigned for the now-routine transport of craftsment back and forth between Wave. This group was larger than the original three-man team – there were now four chuunin counting Yoshino and a couple of older jounin that he vaguely recognized both of whom were wearing jackets with the Uchiha crest.

Since he already knew his own assignment, and thinking Tsunade would be ticked off enough already and that five minutes more wouldn't make much difference, he got up and followed Yoshino out. The older of the two jounin was explaining the details of the mission to the group and Shikaku's ears perked up. He thought he recognized the voice. Standing behind the newly assembled team, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed, he listened more carefully and realized that he knew for a certainty who the voice belonged to – the ANBU jerk that had picked up his friends and then later Yoshino. A prickly sensation of suspicion ran down his spine as he wondered just what the odds were against this being a coincidence.

"You, Nara, don't you have someplace to be?" the other jounin spoke up.

Shikaku just sighed and put his hands in his vest pockets and looked the guy in the eyes and answered, "No, no, not really. Lab can't open 'til I get there." He stared at the second Uchiha waiting to see who would blink first.

The older guy just motioned to the second one to leave it and then returned his attention to his team of chuunin.

"All right, standard escort duty – we'll be out for two weeks and back for two, shuttling these builders back and forth. Actually we don't expect too much trouble during the travel time. There are however some options for bidding on additional significant ocean front resorts and the chief negotiator for our team of contractors has told me that the competition is a little less than savory. So there will be additional bodyguard duties during this trip as well. You'll be involved in those, meetings, dinner receptions, whatever our clients plan to attend, we need to plan to attend to. So, stop by the quartermaster's and get yourselves outfitted appropriately. I don't want you all showing up at a cocktail party in fishnet unless it's the kunoichi in fishnet stockings, got that? Oh, and get a kunoichi-kit, too. We'll meet our clients at 2p.m. Be ready to leave then."

There was a general round of chuckles at his comment as the group broke up. Yoshino came over to him, "Shikaku," she whispered, "why are you still here, won't you be in trouble with Tsunade?"

Shikaku leaned back against the wall as if he needed to hold it up, holding her lightly by her forearms. "Just wanted to see where you were off to. You recognize that guy?" he asked motioning to the leader of her newly assembled team.

"He's Mugato Uchiha. I haven't worked with him before though…" she hesitated, "although I do recognize the voice."

"Tch, well, me, too. Troublesome. Say, since you don't have to leave until two, do you want to get together for lunch?" he asked.

Yoshino smiled, "Sure."

After making plans for lunch, Shikaku rushed to the lab where fortunately, Tsunade didn't seem to mind that he was nearly half an hour late . She was engaged in an animated conversation with the other two sannin and hardly noticed him when he arrived.

"Tsunade, you can't deny what you saw…" Jiraiya began.

She quickly cut him off. "I KNOW what I saw. I just don't know… what it means." She huffed in exasperation, pushing her blonde hair back from her face. "Come on Shikaku, let's open the door." She turned her back on her old teammates and fumbled with her key in the lock.

"Tsunade," his voice was genuinely soft and tender and for once it didn't give Shikaku chills up his spine as Orochimaru spoke. "Tsunade…I know it's hard to hear what he has to say but…for what it's worth, I think Jiraiya is on to something."

Shikaku stood rooted to the spot hardly daring to move more than his eyes as he cast his glance around at all three of his elders. Tsunade was rigid, wound tight as a watch spring, clutching the door handle in a death grip that he was sure was going to shatter it. Jiraiya seemed broken… empty, while Orochimaru had a look of desperation that Shikaku found as eerie as he usually found the raven-haired man's voice.

"Get lost," she said trying to sound lighthearted but her voice only came out brittle. "I've got work to do. I'll see you two at lunch." Her key clicked in the lock and she motioned for Shikaku to insert his own.

Eyes wide and mouth set in a firm line, Shikaku helped her open the door and the two of them went inside. Work that morning was incredibly subdued. Not that Tsunade was the most talkative woman around (for which he was quite thankful), but normally she was at least pleasant. Today she was thin-lipped and grim.

They worked silently for some time, Shikaku burning with curiosity to know what that was all about between the three earlier. But there was another, even more curious thing he wanted an answer to. It had been tickling in the back of his mind since the assignments this morning and he'd meant to ask her as soon as he'd gotten here. But all the bad vibes from the Sannin this morning had pushed that to the back of his mind.

Now it seemed like it might be as good of time as any. It seemed fairly far removed from whatever had set those three on edge. He cleared his throat and spoke up. "Tsunade, can I, um, ask you a question?"

Not looking up from the microscope she was currently adjusting, she merely answered, "Yeah, sure, what is it?"

"What's a kunoichi kit?"

"Emergency contraception. Why?" She answered distractedly then paused and looked up at him, genuinely concerned. "Shikaku? Have you got some girl in trouble?"

"What? No, geez. No, I just…it just came up in conversation, that's all."

She studied him carefully. "Alright," she said slowly, "if you say so."

Shikaku was inwardly cursing himself. Clearly she didn't believe him and the more he said that wasn't the case the more she'd think it was. He looked at her, she was preparing to say more. Oh crap, here it comes – the lecture.

Tsunade made a great pretense of adjusting her focus on her microsope so that she wouldn't have to look at Shikaku. "You know, Shikaku, any kunoichi can get them at the quartermaster's but if it's a village girl…that you know of…that you are acquainted with…," she cleared her throat. "She can see me and I'll get her a prescription."

Well, hell, there was nothing he could say to that. The more he protested the more she'd think that's why he was asking. He merely mumbled a "That's good to know."

Of course this did bring up the question of why Yoshino was assigned one, specifically told to get one by her team leader. What the fuck was up with that? That was something from like hundreds of years ago when kunoichi were used that way, wasn't it?

"Tsunade?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Why would they be assigned on some missions?" He really couldn't think of a way to ask other than to ask it directly.

Tsunade paused. "Well, a couple of reasons. In war zones where there are reports of mass rapes being used to demoralize a population, then even the kunoichi sent as part of a police force are subject to the same dangers as the population overall. In specific police cases, where you're assisting police, a kunoichi who fits a certain type, look, might be used to lure a criminal into a situation where he can be captured, but that might endanger her as well. And then there's the obvious and most common usage, protecting the young kunoichi from herself."

"Huh? I don't get it."

Tsunade laughed. It was the first time he had seen an actual smile on her face all day. "That's right, you never had a kunoichi on your team. It was always you, Yamanaka and Akamichi. How old are you now, Shikaku?"

"Nineteen, why?"

"Come back and ask me again in five or six years," she smiled and wouldn't say anymore on the subject.

Tch. Troublesome women. Acting like they know all the answers to all the mysteries of the cosmos.

Lunchtime came and he and Tsunade parted ways, locking the lab behind them. Sprinting to Yoshino's house, since that's where they had agreed to meet as he didn't know what time he'd be able to get away, he knocked on the door and was pleased to see her in just a moment.

She had two bento boxes ready for them and they were going to take them back to the spot where they had watched the deer the day before. Wrong time of day for deer but still a nice place for lunch.

"Wait, before we go I want to show you something," she said, smiling and going to the living room where her gear was out ready to pack up. "I have no idea how I'm going to pack this but still, see, isn't it beautiful? I have it checked out for this trip in case we have any bodyguard duties at any evening events for the clients." She was holding up a blue strapless gown on a hanger covered in a clear plastic bag.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he answered, wondering how there had managed to be an entire kunoichi section of the quartermaster's and indeed of the entire shinobi way of life that he'd managed to overlook until now. Of course he knew about girls and kunoichi and that there were Many Pleasant Things you could do with them and had pretty match participated in most of those in one state of sobriety of another. But the fact that they had a whole way of looking at the world that was uniquely there own had quite frankly, escaped him until now. Until now, it hadn't really mattered because until now no kunoichi had really mattered before. Weird.

"Hmmm," Yoshino seemed dissatisfied with his reaction. "Let me put it on. Looking at it through the plastic bag doesn't do it justice."

Before he could stop her and tell her not to bother it was too much trouble, she had slipped away. He waited, once again (why were you ALWAYS waiting on kunoichi?) and she finally appeared. She was right, the plastic bag absolutely did not do it justice.

It was a patterned blue satin, ruched at the top, cinched in at the waist and spilling to the floor like a waterfall. The skirt moved utterly fluid as she walked, like flowing water itself. Strapless, he was wondering what was holding it up until he realized that there was nothing holding it up but Yoshino. How did that work? Just what were the mechanics of a strapless gown? Speechless, he was afraid he was going to have to utter some appropriate remark of which he was utterly bereft. However, Yoshino seemed to have gotten what she wanted just by the way he was looking at her and so satisfied she said she'd change back and they'd go on out to lunch.

Even though the day was beautiful, the sky clear blue and full of fluffy white clouds and Yoshino was by his side for lunch, Shikaku was uneasy. There was just too much going on. Tch. Too much troublesome shit. The ANBU. The lab. The creepy ANBU guy being Yoshino's leader this mission. The utter contempt which strapless evening gowns seemed to hold for the law of gravity.

And somewhere, in the pit of his stomach he had a sneaking suspicioun that he was beginning to see what Tsunade meant by protecting the young kunoichi from herself.