PRE-CHAPTER NOTE: Hey everyone! I wanted to make a quick note up top to say thank you so much for all the reviews and messages about the last chapter. I'm so pleased that most of you liked it. It seemed to be pretty polarizing, as I received PMs from people who both loved it and others who hated it. I appreciate receiving both types of messages, because I do like hearing how you truly feel. For those who didn't like it, I hope it doesn't sour your opinions of the rest of my story! Much love to you all! :o) Love it or hate it, keep the reviews coming, please!

The Festivity Infusion Process
Chapter Four: The Mistletoe Vacillation

Almost a week had passed since Amy's conversation with Sheldon, and she was still a little peeved by her boyfriend's seemingly indifferent attitude toward their relationship.

Surprisingly enough, though, it was Bernadette who helped her see a sliver of reason.

"Sounds like he loves you, to me," the blonde microbiologist said as the two women sipped their drinks at a local coffee shop.

Amy rarely spent time with Bernadette one-on-one. Typically, the two were only with each other when Penny invited them both over or if the whole gang was gathering together. However, Penny had been absolutely no help on the gift front for Sheldon, so Amy had been forced to call upon reinforcements – in the form of Bernadette – for assistance. She assumed that since Bernadette had obtained a PhD and was a more 'intellectually inclined' individual than Penny, she might have a little more insight into what someone like Sheldon would enjoy.

"Loves me?" Amy giggled in disbelief. "I don't see how you are picking that up from what he told me. He said that our relationship was like weak soup, Bernadette. Does that really sound like 'love' to you?"

A tiny sideways grin formed on the petite woman's face, and she shook her head. "Oh, Amy, you don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"You're looking at it all backwards," Bernadette explained. "You are the one whose touch sends him over the edge. Not Penny. Not Leonard. And certainly not his mother. He wasn't saying that touching you was like weak soup. He was comparing physical contact with you to an eye-burning, skin-irritating gas." She paused for a moment as her words sunk in. "I thought that would sound better than it actually does. Believe me, though - it's a good thing."

Amy set her warm cup of hot chocolate down on the table in front of her.

Could this be true? Had she jumped to her conclusion too quickly? That certainly would be typical of her. She always jumped to the worst possible outcome first, and then asked questions later. That's how she'd ended up on the no-fly list the last time she'd attempted air travel.

On the other hand, Sheldon showing a true emotional connection to Amy was very rare. She couldn't be blamed for pole-vaulting to the least appealing conclusion.

"But…" Amy stammered.

"Believe me, you may not see it… and he may not see it… but he loves you. Probably as much as you love him."

"I've never said that I was in love him," she said defensively. But Bernadette was right, of course. Amy knew that she was in love with Sheldon, even if she'd never admitted it out loud.

Her friend scoffed at her. "Really Amy? How's that marriage plan coming along, hmm?"

Amy blushed.

Her marriage trajectory chart was way off track, actually. In all honesty, she'd begun ignoring the charts once the data seemed to be trending toward a much later marriage date than she had originally predicted. It was at that point that she'd tucked the information away under her bed, promising herself that she wouldn't dwell on it. However, every now and then, Amy would give in to temptation and pull it out to update it and assess their relationship's progress.

And it was because she knew the truth – based her projections – that Amy wasn't exactly buying into the idea that her boyfriend loved her at this point in their timeline as a couple. Everyone else kept telling her as much, but based on the facts at hand, it all still seemed a little far-fetched for Sheldon. And Amy was all about the data, as any respectable scientist should be.

"Ugh! Why are men so confusing?" Amy slid her fingers underneath her glasses to rub her eyes. "Why can't they just say what they mean?"

"Honey, I think most men say the same thing about women."

Amy downed the remaining bit of hot chocolate in one big gulp, and then hurriedly began gathering her belongings.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I have to go talk to Sheldon," Amy explained. "I'm sure he's going mad because we haven't finished our conversation from the other day. You know how obsessed he is with closure. He's been texting me all week, but I've just been too busy at work to meet up with him."

"But what about your present for him? I thought that was why you wanted to get together?"

Amy sighed. "I'll figure something out. Thanks for your help, Bernadette."

She grabbed her bag, and walked out the door of the coffee shop – heading straight for 2311 Los Robles Ave.

On the drive to Sheldon's apartment, Amy had time to think… about everything. If Bernadette was right; if Sheldon did love her – and that was a big 'if' – then he would need to feel comfortable with the idea before he vocalized his feelings to her. He was a self-proclaimed 'know-it-all'... and justifiably so, in Amy's opinion... but this - romantic love - was way outside of his comfort zone. If he was, in fact, in love with her, then he most likely wouldn't even be aware of it. Amy would need to give him time to work it out for himself.

Who knows how long that will take, she thought.

It was because Amy was absolutely certain that she loved him that she finally knew what she wanted to do. She'd figured out the perfect gift for Sheldon.

As she parked her car outside her boyfriend's building, Amy realized that she didn't need progression in her relationship by the end of the year to prove that she was growing as a person. She didn't need him to reciprocate her feelings right away. She didn't need a declaration of love. She didn't need a boyfriend who liked to cuddle or who sent her text messages dripping with lovey-dovey sap. She didn't need to change Sheldon's perspective. No, she could simply change her own. She could choose to be satisfied with where her relationship seemed determined to stay, and focus more on her own happiness in other areas. After all, it had been good enough for her in the beginning of their relationship... why not now?

The sooner her perspective changed, the sooner she could just be … content.

It wasn't the type of change she had originally set out to accomplish, but it was what their relationship needed. Sometimes experiments require adjustment, she reasoned. This particular adjustment would not only be the perfect gift for Sheldon, but it would be the perfect New Year's resolution for herself as well.

Nobody was home when Amy arrived at Sheldon's apartment.

After waiting for a few minutes outside his door, Amy grew impatient and let herself into Penny's apartment with the spare key that her bestie had given her. She quickly grabbed her friend's copy of Leonard's key and darted back across the hall to open the door and wait inside for her boyfriend to return.

The minutes seemed like hours as she ran through every conceivable response that Sheldon might give her when she finally told him what she wanted to say. She was certain he'd be ecstatic. Maybe she'd even get a hug?

Not that I need a hug, she reminded herself.

She'd been sitting in Sheldon's spot for almost thirty minutes before she heard the sound of bags rustling in the hallway. A key clicked in the lock a couple of times, as the person on the other side attempted to unlock the already open door.

"That's funny…" Sheldon muttered as he shuffled into the apartment, staring at the doorknob suspiciously. As soon as Amy shifted on the couch, he screamed like a four year-old girl.

"Good Lord, woman!" Sheldon cried with his hand over his chest. "You 'bout gave me a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, Sheldon." And she was. She hadn't intended to scare him. In fact, that was the exact opposite of her goal for the evening.

"Don't you know it's illegal to enter someone's home without their permission?"

Amy stood up and put her hands on her hips. "So you can let yourself into my apartment willy-nilly, but I can't do the same?"

Sheldon pursed his lips together, and shut the door behind him.

"Why are you here?" He asked. "It's a little early for the party."

Amy glanced at the clock. Penny and Raj's ugly sweater party was set to begin in about 45 minutes. She had been so caught up in her revelation, she'd forgotten all about it.

"Sheldon, I want to apologize," Amy said, returning her eyes to her boyfriend.

"Good." He set the bag he was carrying on his desk chair, and slid his jacket off his shoulders.

"Don't you want to know why I am apologizing?"

"I should think it's obvious," Sheldon said. "Your behavior has been irrational for the past few days."

"Irrational?"

He nodded. "Not unlike the square root of two. Don't worry, though, I forgive you. You can't help that your hormones are all screwy this time of the month."

Amy's eyes grew wide. "This time of the month? If you are referring to ... "

"Of course I am," he interrupted. "It's the 24th."

Dang. His eidetic memory can really be a thorn in my side sometimes. She silently cursed the day she allowed him access to her online menstrual cycle calendar.

"That doesn't have anything to do with why I was upset, Sheldon."

"Really? That's your one reasonable excuse and you aren't going to take it? If I was a woman, I'd use that trick all the time to justify snapping at everyone. Then maybe people wouldn't give me such a hard time about it."

"You know what Sheldon?" Amy realized she was raising her voice, so she closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath to calm herself. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter why I was upset, and it doesn't matter that you think I was being irrational."

Amy knew that, over the years, her boyfriend had become more adept at understanding her emotional responses. Her elevated tone must have caught him off-guard, because he stopped dead in his tracks and bit his lip while he waited for her to continue.

"Sheldon," she said, her voice growing softer. "I want to give you your Christmas present."

"Oh…" His shoulders fell. "Must we do this now? I know that it's protocol at this time of year, but I really am not prepared at this juncture – "

"You don't have to get me anything, Sheldon."

"Well, if you got me something, then I most certainly do."

"Let me explain first," she said. "I couldn't find anything in a store that was good enough to give you. Nothing seemed worthy enough to be your Christmas gift."

"Really? Not even the Ironman themed Xbox with the arc reactor decorative attachment on the side that I've been hinting at for weeks?"

She groaned. "Sheldon, I'm trying to say something here. Let me finish... please?" Her eyes begged him to allow her to speak. He seemed to understand and nodded at her.

"Thank you," she said. "As I was saying... You've always done so much for me. There was simply nothing I could buy that would demonstrate how much you mean to me."

Sheldon didn't say a word. He continued to stare at her, waiting for her to finish... as she'd requested.

She cleared her throat, before continuing. "So, what I've decided to do is make you a promise. I promise not to say another word about your affections – or lack thereof – toward me. I won't utter another sentence about the progression of our relationship. I am happy with you… just like this. You deserve to be comfortable with me… not on edge."

Sheldon was staring at her as though she were a bomb about to go off. When he realized she was finished talking, he relaxed his shoulders and swallowed.

What is he thinking?

"Say something," she finally urged.

He blinked at her, then pointed to her outfit. "Is that what you are going to wear to the party?"

Amy looked down at her green cardigan and denim skirt. She hadn't had time to change since she left Bernadette in the coffee shop, and had completely forgotten that she would need her 'ugly sweater', which was tucked neatly away inside her closet at home.

Wait… did he just completely change the subject?

"Sheldon… I meant say something about my gift for you."

"Oh." He blinked at her again. "Thank you." He quickly turned to pull a clothing box out of his shopping bag.

She frowned. Is that all he has to say? It wasn't quite the reaction she had been hoping for. She expected that he would be overjoyed, but he was behaving as though she'd just offered him a Kleenex after a sneeze.

"Unfortunately," Sheldon said, "My gift for you is not quite ready. I'm still… figuring out specifics."

"I meant what I said," Amy insisted. "You don't need to get me anything."

"Nonsense. Of course I do. Reciprocation is the core of gift giving. Furthermore, you're my girlfriend. I want to get you something."

Amy couldn't help but smile. Perhaps there is an ounce of truth to Bernadette's theory after all.

"Now, I have to get ready for the party," he added. "Since you are forcing me to go."

"That's just it – you don't have to go if you don't want to, Sheldon," Amy explained. "My gift goes into effect as of now. So, you aren't obligated to go with me. I'm not going to ask you to do that. I won't ask you to do anything that you don't want to do. At least not anything that will make you feel uneasy. Not anymore."

"Does this mean we can stay here?" His eyes filled with hopefulness. "We could have our own party... if you know what I mean?" He threw her a wink.

Unfortunately, Amy did know what he meant.

"I don't really want to play Mario Party and eat pizza with you, Sheldon. I want to hang out with our friends."

Just because she had decided to give Sheldon the space he desired, didn't mean Amy was going to give up on her own quest for personal growth. She needed to do things that she wanted to do, regardless of whether Sheldon chose to join her. And this Christmas party was one of those things.

He groaned. "Ugh. Fine. I'm going to the party, then. There's no way I can eat a whole pizza by myself."

He carried the box he was holding back to his room, shouting to Amy as he disappeared around the corner in the hallway. "I'm going to change. Feel free to make yourself comfortable… which you've apparently already done."

Amy heard his door click shut and frowned. She wished that he'd said more about her gift to him. She was prepared for almost any reaction she could think of... but not no reaction at all. His response had left her in a state of limbo. Does he like my suggestion? Is he still upset with me? Will he still feel on edge when I touch him?

She tried her best to shrug it off so that she could enjoy the rest of her evening, which she had very much been looking forward to.

While Sheldon changed clothes, Amy took the opportunity to create a makeshift 'ugly sweater' by adding some embellishments to her own cardigan using some of Leonard's extra Christmas decorations. She stapled bits of tinsel and garland across the front, and hooked a few bright red bulbs into the fabric.

Well, this is certainly tacky, she thought to herself as she studied her reflection in the window.

Sheldon finally emerged from his room and immediately did a double take at Amy's ridiculous additions to her clothing. However, he said nothing about it and instead made a motion to shoo Amy toward the door. "Come on. Let's get this over with," he said.

"Wait a minute…" Amy paused with her hand on the doorknob and turned to her boyfriend. "This is an ugly sweater party."

"I know." He gave her a perplexed look. "What's your point?"

"Aren't you going to change into something… well… ugly?"

Sheldon held his arms out to display his solid red cashmere sweater, which he'd pulled over a collared, white button-up shirt. It was decidedly 'average', especially for him, given that he typically wore t-shirts depicting comic book characters or references to video games.

"What are you talking about? This is the ugliest sweater I could find! I bought it today, specifically for the occasion."

"Really? I think you look… nice," her eyes roamed over his tall, lanky frame. "Like Mr. Rogers." A sexy Mr. Rogers.

"You have no taste, apparently. This is hideous. I look like Waldo's lesser known, unstylish brother." He paused. "Where's Weirdo? Don't worry! He's not hard to find." He pointed at himself dramatically.

Amy rolled her eyes and opened the door. "Fine. Let's go. They're waiting on us over there."

Sheldon nodded and closed the door behind the two of them, then fell in line behind his girlfriend as she crossed the hall. They quietly approached apartment 4B and stood outside a moment, his eyes meeting hers briefly before rapidly darting to the floor again.

Amy gave the door a quick knock.

"Penny and Leonard." Sheldon said softly. Amy paused, and then reached up to knock a second time.

"Penny and Leonard," he muttered again.

Amy smiled in spite of herself. She was still unsure how she felt about the situation that she had just created in their relationship. She wasn't angry with Sheldon, though. He can't help how he feels. Or doesn't feel. But she still found comfort in his obsessive-compulsive behavior, and was overcome with the realization that she wouldn't want some of his quirks to ever change.

She reached up once more and finished rapping her knuckles on the door a third time.

"Penny and Leonard," the two said together.

Penny popped open the door and a big grin spread across her face as she took in Sheldon's subdued clothing. "Well, hello there, neighbor!"

Penny herself was wearing reindeer antlers and the most ridiculously tacky sweater Amy had every laid eyes on. It had little presents sewn underneath a poorly ironed-on Christmas tree. Her entire torso was strung with colorful, blinking lights.

"Oh, my," Amy said. "That's… quite an ensemble."

Penny beamed and looked down at her clothes. "I know, right?! It took me all week to make it." She waved them inside.

"Hello, everyone," Amy said as she entered. Stuart, Raj and Leonard were already there, munching on some popcorn. Christmas music was lightly playing in the background, and a warm and fuzzy feeling grew inside Amy. She loved this time of year, and it was even better to be spending it with friends who enjoyed being around her as well.

"I'm here," Sheldon sighed, as though his mere presence was taking great effort on his part. And it probably was.

"Hey guys!" Leonard greeted. "Howard and Bernadette are on their way. They're running late as usual. It's sad that they can never be on time, really."

"No… what's sad is that you were able to find clothing suitable for this party from your current wardrobe," Penny rolled her eyes as she poured herself a glass of champagne. "We didn't even have to do anything to it." She shook her head sadly.

Leonard assessed his clothing, and then gave a relenting nod. "Yeah, ok. It is pretty bad."

"I have to say, Amy, your sweater is positively awful," Stuart grinned at her as he took another handful of popcorn and threw a piece into his mouth.

Amy blushed and brushed off the comic book storeowner's compliment with a wave. "I just threw this together at the last minute."

"Hey!" Sheldon snapped at Stuart. "You need to keep comments like that to yourself."

"Sheldon, he was just being nice. My clothes are supposed to look bad."

"That may be, but it's my job to make offhand generalizations about your clothing. Not his."

Amy frowned at him. "Ok. Well, by all means... feel free to do so."

Sheldon's gaze ran from her head to her toes and back again. "You look horrible."

Amy couldn't help but laugh. "Thank you, Sheldon."

Another knock on the door got their attention.

"That must be Bernadette and Howard!" Penny skipped across the room to let the tiny couple in.

"The party as arrived!" Howard declared as he strolled inside ostentatiously, the flashing red nose on his Rudolph belt buckle drawing everyone's attention to his crotch-region.

"Ooo…." Bernadette teased as she followed her husband in, shrugging off her coat. "Look at Amy and Sheldon!"

The whole group tore their eyes from Howard's belt and immediately echoed Bernadette's "ooooo".

"What?" Sheldon asked, his eyes darting between himself and his girlfriend. "What is it?" Amy also looked around, but couldn't see what could be causing such a commotion.

Raj pointed above them and squealed with glee. "Look! It's mistletoe."

They both peered toward the ceiling. Indeed, it was mistletoe – dangling just above their heads.

"You know what that means," Bernadette grinned, settling in next to Leonard on the couch.

Sheldon had an expression of legitimate confusion. "What does it mean?"

A teasing smirk formed on Penny's face and a sparkle lit up her eyes. "You have to kiss," she said.

Amy and Sheldon threw a panicked look at each other.

"Says who?" Sheldon questioned, looking back at the group.

"Says… everyone," Leonard scooted to the edge of the couch. "It's a Christmas tradition. You have to kiss her."

"Because we're standing underneath a parasitic plant? Which, I might add, may as well be called a 'poop branch'?"

"What?" Leonard asked, dumbfounded. That familiar sound of exhaustion that usually emerged when talking to his roommate creeped into his voice.

"Mistletoe's literal translation is 'dung branch'," Sheldon explained.

"How do you know that?"

"I know quite a bit about mistletoe, Leonard. I used to shoot it out of trees with my father as a boy in East Texas. Well… not so much 'shoot' as cover my ears and wish I were somewhere else." He shrugged. "But we never kissed under it."

"Well, that's what you're supposed to do when it's inside a house."

"Yeah, Sheldon," Raj encouraged. "It's the accepted convention."

Raj's comment seemed to make Sheldon reluctantly reconsider, but Amy could tell he was still not overjoyed by the prospect. And, if Amy was being completely honest, she wasn't either. Not only had she just promised to take things slow with Sheldon, but she also didn't want their first 'real' kiss to be a forced spectacle in front of all of their friends.

Amy decided, though, that she would do whatever Sheldon wanted to do. This would be his choice. If he is comfortable with this, then I am.

"What do you want to do, Amy?" he asked her quietly with a gentle nudge of the arm.

Oh crap. He's throwing it back to me.

"Um…" Amy glanced at the gang. They were all, quite literally, on the edge of their seats. Stuart had practically fallen onto the floor in anticipation.

"Um…" Amy repeated, meeting Sheldon's gaze. He was staring at her and her alone… his expression completely unreadable. He's really going to let me decide?

She seriously considered it for a moment. He was right there; Ready and willing. But then her promise to herself - and to Sheldon - reered it's ugly head once again.

Why did I have to pick now to get all independent and level-headed?

Amy took a deep breath and backed away from him… stepping out from under the danger of the mistletoe. She shook her head 'no', then shyly looked at the floor.

Sheldon nodded once in acceptance of her decision, and the rest of the group heaved a collective, frustrated sigh.

"Talk about an anticlimax," Raj fell back into the couch.

"Well, can you really blame her?" Howard asked. "I wouldn't want to put my lips on his mouth either."

"Oh, really, Howard?" Sheldon gave him a condescending glare. "I know exactly where my mouth has been. And I guarantee it's been in far less foul places than yours. I cringe at the idea of what might turn up in a culture from your cheek swab." He turned on his heel and moved quickly to the kitchen to make some hot tea.

"Wait... " Penny whispered, suddenly aware of what had transpired. "Was he actually going to kiss her?"

The group peered suspiciously at Sheldon, who ignored them and set the kettle on Penny's stove to heat the water for his drink.

After a few moments, the awkwardness from the almost-kiss had passed and the group spent the rest of the night in laughter, participating in the games that Penny had planned - albeit, with Amy's heart pounding a little bit faster than usual.

By the end of the night, almost everyone had forgotten about the mistletoe... except for Stuart, who remained staunchly fixed underneath it, hoping that one of the women of the group might pass by and offer him a friendly Christmas smooch.

None of them did.

Notes: Alrighty! That's my Christmas chapter for you guys! Sorry its a bit late. I really did mean to have it up by Christmas Eve... but ... you know... holiday happenings took over. It's long, so cut me some slack. haha

There are still a couple more chapters left to wrap things up as we head into the New Year. Those chapters will be posted just after the actual holiday, as my schedule is jam-packed this next week and I still need to edit them.

In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying this! Let me know in a review! I love to read your thoughts. They are always appreciated.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all! :o)