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Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly

Lexie was in awe of the commotion she caused when she walked through the doors of Joe's bar. Cheers literally erupted as she followed Meredith to the wooden bar and ordered her usual, well used to be her usual, drink; literally, cheers. Joe made his way from behind the bar to give her a hug, so genuine, she, again, let herself fall into the embrace.

"Welcome back," the bulky man stated as he pulled back, still holding her shoulders in place.

Lexie smiled, 'Welcome back', she was back. "Thanks Joe." She said sincerely.

Joe nodded, with a lopsided grin on his face, "And just so you know," he gestured at the horde of surgeons that were laughing in a corner booth, "their enthusiasm for your return has been multiplied by tequila and shots of patron. You have been warned."

Lexie laughed as Joe handed her a drink and shooed her away. She joined her sister, standing at the side of the booth, as the surgeons around them talked at a higher decibel than necessary. Suddenly, though only moments before they were cheering at her arrival, Lexie felt self-conscious. These used to be her people, but with the gray hairs that graced Bailey's hair, the furrowed wrinkles that lied embedded on the Chief's forehead, the look of maturity that enveloped Karev's features, she felt as though the people she had known before she had left and the people that sat before her were entirely different. "Hey everybody," Lexie said meekly, the shy, scared, little intern that made her way through the halls of Seattle Grace years ago, returning inside of her.

Derek was the first one to stand and envelop her in a hug, whispering, "We missed you, Little Grey." Cristina was next, mumbling something about Lexie needing to show her interns how things are done. Then Karev, then Torres, then Robbins, then Hunt, and soon she had given a hug to all of the surgeons at the table. She tried to remain calm and composed, but her tear ducts betrayed her and a few tears fell as Meredith once again hugged her sister.

"Since when are you a hugger?" Lexie laughed as they pulled away, Lexie wiping fiercely at the remaining tears that lingered on her cheeks.

Meredith gave her a serious expression, "Since I got knocked up." The table laughed and Meredith and Lexie took a seat at the booth.

Lexie tried to control her wandering eyes, scouring the bar for that leather jacket she had so frequently dreamed about in Chicago, but her sister gave her a knowing smile. Lexie blushed, having been caught in the act. However, her embarrassment quickly subsided as a tall, built figure made its way through the doors of Joe's. Their eyes met instantly, as though he knew she'd be looking at that direct point, the exact time he would make his entrance. He gave her that boyish grin, and she smiled in spite of herself.

Before she could contemplate her movements, she was out of the booth, walking into his open arms. His arms wrapped around her whole form, as she unconsciously and instinctively threaded her own arms under his open jacket, feeling the warmth she had so longed for radiate from his body. She was back.

They stood there for a few moments, unaware and uncaring towards the eyes that watched them so reverently, the whispers that surrounded their embrace, whispers from every table except that of their friends, of whom merely sighed in finality. They stood there unaware and uncaring towards everyone else, because in this very moment, only they, only Mark and Lexie, mattered; only they existed.

She took in the feeling of his hard chest pressed against her soft cheek, closing her eyes tightly, urging her photographic memory to erase everything it had ever before recollected, and just remember this moment.

Finally, they pulled away slightly, Lexie kept her eyes downcast, again embarrassed at her desperation for the man in front of her. Mark gently lifted her chin with his index finger, forcing her to look into his eyes, of which conveyed only admiration and longing, no detection of amusement at her outburst. "I missed you, Lex. I'm glad you're back, home."

Lexie couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at his words. She was back, she was home. She wanted so desperately to reach out and stroke the stubble on his chin, renter his strong arms, collapse into him; she wanted him so desperately. Instead, she turned slightly and led him back to the booth she had sat at mere moments ago. Mark raised a hand, signaling to Joe he'll have his usual drink, before scooting into the plush leather seat beside Lexie. By this time, there were two tables pushed together next to the booth, to house all of the surgeons.

As Joe handed Mark his drink and Cristina ordered a twelve shots, to be split between her, Lexie, Callie, Arizona, and Teddy, Lexie pressed her hands into the seat. Her palms sunk slightly, as she tried to gain control over her emotions. She was sitting a mere inch away from the man she had adored, the man she had never stopped loving. Her anxiety was ridiculous; she tried to reason with herself. Surely, after all this time, he had moved on. And knowing Mark Sloan, he had moved on, and on, and on, and on, and then some. However, as Mark accidently brushed against her arm, she couldn't stop the butterflies that swarmed around her stomach.

Lexie downed the remains of her drink and took the shot glass that Joe had just brought to the table. She paused only for Cristina to make a small, short toast, before pouring the burning liquid in her mouth and down her throat. Two more shots later and Lexie was feeling much better about the butterflies. With her newfound liquid courage, she took part in the conversations that bounced around the table, between multiple parties.

She bravely moved her hand, from its position on the seat by her side, to grasp Mark's under the table. She smiled, staring at Cristina who was speaking directly across from her, as Mark turned slightly to face her. She bit her lip, urging herself not to look in his direction, afraid of what looking into his eyes may do to her. She squeezed his hand lightly and leaned into him slightly as he ran his thumb gently across the back of her hand.

He turned his attention towards Derek as Lexie sighed contently. It was moderately unrealistic for her to come back to Seattle and expect things to be exactly as they were months before she even left. But somehow, she didn't care. Maybe it was the tequila, maybe it was the sensation shooting through up and down her arm at Mark's touch, maybe it was the years of loneliness that accompanied her in Chicago, but she didn't care. As a couple, Mark and her weren't in the same place, emotionally, when she was here, much less five years later. Seattle Grace was immersed in change, and yet here she was, trying to make herself believe everything was the way she had always wanted it to be. It was selfish and immature of her to come back and wish everything into place.

Her thoughts began to damper her buzz, so she had Cristina order another round of shots.

Lexie stumbled into Meredith's house around 4:00 a.m. Meredith and Derek had left the bar hours before, but she had stayed with Cristina, Alex, Callie, Arizona, Teddy, Owen, and Mark. They drank and laughed and drank some more, Joe had to all but throw them out by the end of the night. And, where as the attendings stopped drinking long ago, Cristina, Alex, and Lexie were double fisting glasses and conversing with volume and enthusiasm.

Mark helped Lexie and Karev home, as Karev unlocked the door and passed out on the couch, lacking the strength to make it all the way to his own room. Lexie, on the other hand, was a ball of energy as she ran through the house, whispering incoherently about the sanctity of the never-changing Grey abode. Mark grasped her bags that lied in the foyer, Derek and Meredith having brought them in hours before, and made his way to the stairs. Lexie followed him, asking questions about this house and Meredith and Derek's new house, how the building was coming along, how Meredith could possibly live in the woods, what if they woke up to a bear on their front step, and many more random, fast-paced questions, without pausing for answers.

They made it to the attic and Lexie instantly became silent. Mark set her luggage down and turned around to make sure she was still there. He misinterpreted her silence and smiled his McSteamy smile at her, "Tired?"

Lexie pursed her lips, forming a small smile, she shook her head lightly, "Not really."

Mark chuckled slightly at her now solemn form, compared to her previous flamboyant actions, "Not feeling the jetlag?" He joked.

Lexie smiled, "Yeah, the two extra hours I got on the way over are probably the only reason I held on with Christina so long."

Mark let out another chuckle before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He glanced around the room, letting the memories consume him. "Are you happy to be back?"

Lexie nodded softly, her mood contributing to her impending sobriety "Ecstatic."

Mark turned to face her at her tone, "What's up, little Grey?" He asked concerned, "You know you can talk to me."

Lexie offered a smile that didn't reach her eyes as she lowered herself onto the mattress that lay on the floor, "It's nothing."

Mark sat next to her on the bed, "Nothing is always something with you, Lexie."

Lexie faced Mark, the comfort she felt right now, in this moment, with him, was dangerous. "I just, I knew that I just couldn't come back and everything would be perfect and normal, but then I saw you. It's not right for me to assume that my desired reality is everybody's." Lexie stared at her fingers, as they picked at the comforter. "I shouldn't assume you're still the same guy that wanted me, I shouldn't assume that this could all be looked over, that me and you have a chance."

She could hear Mark breathing softly, as he covered her hands with his own, "You shouldn't assume." She looked up into his eyes, allowing a tear to cascade down her cheek. He didn't want her. He was over her. He wasn't the same. She was right, she was crazy for thinking they stood a chance. It wasn't like she could leave Seattle and have time stand still. She was living in a fairytale, reality wasn't that simple. They didn't work, he knew that, he accepted that. It was done.

"You shouldn't assume," he repeated, taking a sharp breath, "you should know." He then pressed his lips softly against her own.