So, I realized my writing style kind of dwindles from time to time, sorry if I lose some of you along the way. Also, I know 'The A-team' wasn't out then, but it is now, so there. I love all of you! Thank you so much for all the reviews and support! You're awesome! And only two days until Thursday! Who's excited!
Whisper Hello, I Miss You Quite Terribly
"No, no, no, no, no, we're not watching a dumb chick flick."
"It's not a dumb chick flick, 'The Notebook' is a classic!"
"I agree!"
"Thank you!"
"No, not with you," Lexie swatted Mark's arm, "With Cristina, 'The Notebook' is a sappy movie that sad, lonely women watch at night and eat loads of ice cream and cry themselves to sleep."
"Wow, little Grey, have some experience with that, do we?" Derek asked, sitting in front of the television as everyone argued on what movie to watch. Cristina and Owen were snuggled on one of the two couches, with Cristina fidgeting against Owen as she adamantly defended her movie choice. Callie and Arizona sat crossed legged the floor, their backs against the couch and a pizza box at their feet. Meredith occupied the second couch, stretching her legs down the length of it, but she kept the cushion next to her open for Derek, once he was done choosing a movie and setting it up. Lexie and Mark took the love seat; taking the same position they had the night before. Lexie's legs were strewn across Mark's lap and tucked between his own, of which were propped up on a footrest.
"Don't turn this around, 'The A-Team' is over twenty times better than 'The Notebook', that's just how it is. You're just mad that she doesn't want to watch your dumb movie," Cristina defended the younger Grey.
"It's not a dumb movie, it's a profound love story," Owen explained, edging his opinion into their argument, resulting in Cristina staring at him dumbfounded.
"Blah, blah, blah," Cristina stated sarcastically, making her mouth open and close dramatically with the beginning and ending of each word.
"I'm with Little Grey and Yang," Robbins piped in, "'The Notebook' should only be brought out under extreme circumstance."
Cristina muttered a triumphant "Yeah!" before high-fiving the blonde attending.
"I still don't understand why we're disregarding 'Elf' so fast," Meredith whined.
"Yeah, I'm with Grey. It's the holidays, why can't we watch a holiday movie?" Callie agreed, passing Arizona a piece of pizza from the box beside her.
"We'll have plenty of time to watch that, like Christmas Eve or Christmas," Lexie explained logically. "Join our team!"
"Yeah," Cristina insisted, "join our team!"
"And, what team is that?" Mark asked, narrowing his gaze challengingly at Lexie.
Lexie raised an eyebrow in sass, "The A-team." She stated simply.
"If we can't watch 'Elf', I pick 'The A-team'," Meredith huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I don't know," Callie mulled the two movies over in her head, "I think I want to watch 'The Notebook'."
"What? Why?" Cristina asked condescendingly.
Callie shrugged, "It's a classic, I don't know. I just want to watch it."
Lexie shook her head in mock disappointment, Cristina shouted, "Boo", and Arizona looked at Callie lovingly before saying, "You disappoint me," jokingly.
"So what is that? Four versus four?" Derek asked from his place beside the television, "So 'The Notebook' it is," he stated, grabbing the DVD box from the ground before pausing at Cristina's objections.
"No, no, no, brains before beauty, Shepard!" The curly haired resident shouted.
Amongst the argument, of which, all surgeons were now shouting their opinions, Lexie lifted her head, positioning herself to speak so that only Mark could hear her.
"I think you should change your vote," Lexie whispered softly.
Mark shook his head slightly with a smirk, "And why is that?"
"Action movies kind of turn me on," Lexie whispered seductively into Mark's ear, slightly rubbing her jean-covered legs against his. She laughed as he placed a firm hand on her thigh to still her movements.
"I change my vote to 'The A-Team'," Mark said hoarsely. Lexie smiled in triumph, and pressed a kiss against the base of his throat.
"Victory is ours!" Cristina cheered, high-fiving Arizona and Meredith, "Nice job little Grey."
The men and Callie shook their heads at Mark, as Derek grimaced and put in 'The A-team' in the DVD player.
Lexie smiled up at Mark as he kissed her forehead, "Totally worth it," he mumbled and she giggled.
As the movie started, Derek found his place next to his wife and Cristina slowly but surely made her way down from the emotional high of the argument. Lexie snuggled into Mark's chest and laced her fingers with his. Taking in the atmosphere of the room; everything felt as though it was in its rightful place, it all felt, it all felt right.
Lexie glanced briefly around the room, at the couples holding each other, at the man whose arms were wrapped around her and she was suddenly overcome with the emotions brought about by the people that surrounded her. She was here, and she was wanted, and she was safe, and she was loved.
After her mom died, years ago, and Thatcher fell into his downward spiral, and her sister moved, and Meredith ignored her existence, Lexie thought she would be broken forever, just a fragment of her former self. But somehow, someway, Mark had saved her; he fought through her optimistic exterior, the façade she had put on for everyone else, he had seen the real her, and he had loved her anyway. After Mark chose Sloane, Lexie had thought that she would never find a place in his heart, in anyone's heart, never find anything like the place she had kept for him. But again, he fought his way back in little by little, only to be interrupted and have all his progress tainted by the shooting.
After the shooting, she had thought she had lost this completely. This feeling, this foundation, this family, she had thought that it had died that day, that she had died that day. Tears welled up in her eyes as she came to the realization that she had never lost any of it, she wasn't losing any of it. She was running from it, from the consistency of all of it.
When she left for Chicago, Lexie thought she was doing what was best for her, for everyone. She had thought that her world, their world, had been torn up so completely, that there was no hope of piecing it all back together. She had thought that she no longer had a life in Washington, at Seattle Grace, with these people, but none of that was true. Nothing was gone, nothing had changed, she still had the same things she had always had; nothing was different. It was all in her mind.
She wasn't forging a new life for herself in Chicago, she was running. From feelings, from foundation, from family, she was running from the consistency of it all. She was running so she wouldn't have to see it all rip apart. These things, all the crap that they had all been through, it should of broke them, torn them apart from the seams, but it didn't and that was perhaps the scariest part of it all. What else was coming? What would make their final ending? She was just sick of waiting for the other shoe to drop, so she ran.
"Hey, can you come into the kitchen with me?" She whispered softly into Mark's ear as she gently got off his lap.
Mark's concerned expression made her aware of the tears that silently cascaded down her cheeks, "Of course."
She wiped her eyes softly and offered a smile as she helped him up. They strategically made their way around the living room, doing their best to not contract any attention. The second they found themselves in the kitchen, Mark wrapped his arms around Lexie's small frame, holding her tight. Lexie smiled softly into his chest, before pulling away and wiping the salty water that remained on her face.
"What's going through your mind, little Grey?" The attending smiled down at her sympathetically.
"How can you be so sure? Of this? Of us? After all this time?" Lexie asked, pressing her back into a countertop, trying to create some space between her and Mark.
"I'm not quite sure what you mean," Mark spoke, closing the distance she had created in a simple step.
"You told me you loved me," Lexie stated simply.
"No, I said I love you," Mark corrected, making sure she knew he was speaking in present tense, for present situations.
"You said you love me, but I've only been back for a few days. You're so sure that we're going to make it and everything is going to be okay, how? How do you have this confidence that you, that you still love me?" Lexie asked desperately, trying to keep her voice low.
Mark once again wrapped his arms around her, trying to make her feel the immensity of his love. He kissed the skin on her neck and then let his face rest there, nuzzled in the crook of her neck. "I never stopped loving you, Lexie."
Once again, tears welled up in her eyes, she wanted to push him away, tell him she didn't want him or need him anymore. She wanted to be burned by the words, but she placed one hand on his shoulder and one on the back of his head that rested against her skin and hoped to God, as much as he loved the person she was, that he could love the person she had become. "Please don't say that," she whispered, running her fingers softly over his scalp.
He raised his head to look her in the eye, but he didn't pull away from her. His arms remained securely wrapped around her waist, and she pressed her body lightly into his, urging him not to let go. "Why not? It's the truth."
She stared directly into his eyes, the ease of this conversation, the way their bodies melded together, the ease of being with him made her feel as though she never left. "I have to go back, eventually." She whispered, searching his eyes for something, anything that gave her some sort of power. Something that would give her an out, if she needed a reason to tell him no. But, all she found was love.
He smiled, that infamous Sloan smile, and again she was reminded how incredibly lucky she was to have the reckless and rebellious McSteamy, who never settled for anything less than everything, anyone less than everyone, want her. "No, you don't."
That was the moment she knew, she could survive anything if a man like this, a man like him could love her. If Mark Sloan thought she was worth a damn as a woman, as a surgeon, as a person, that meant something. If Mark Sloan was willing to sort through her crap, atop of the monstrous pile of his own, that meant something. If Mark Sloan wanted her, needed her, loved her, she meant something. Something she could never mean in Chicago, or in any other place than Seattle, any other place besides in his arms.
Lexie laughed nervously, her mind was racing. She wanted him, she didn't want to want him, she needed him, she didn't want to need him; she was so contradictory. She couldn't even sort herself out in her own mind, how could he stand to try to sort her out in his?
"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Lexie sighed, shaking her head.
"You're not a mess," Mark smiled, "You're perfect."
Tears softly fell from her eyes as he pressed his lips against hers.