They walked in comfortable silence through the city streets; their fingers entwined. Suddenly, Elaine stopped and turned to Jerry.
"Something wrong?" He asked.
Elaine sighed.
If only you knew...
"Lainey?"
"Can we go somewhere? To talk?"
Jerry looked at her in surprise. "Sure. How about my place?"
The suggestion caught her off-guard. They'd shared so many wonderful moments in his apartment, that it just didn't feel right.
"No good?" he asked, as though reading her mind.
"It's fine." She said, realizing that it was probably the best place. "Jerry? I'm sorry about before. About not calling you. I didn't mean to make you worry." "But I'm
flattered." She added with a smile.
Jerry smiled and hugged her warmly.
Elaine sighed contently. She loved being in his arms.
"I'm just glad you're okay." Jerry said, kissing her cheek.
He'd said these words earlier, but she found that she never tired of hearing them.
Minutes later, they arrived at his apartment.
"Well, here we are." He said, tossing his keys aside as they stepped into the familiar living room.
"Do you want a Snapple?" Jerry asked.
"Um, yeah. I'll be right back." Elaine said. "I'm just gonna-." She pointed to the bathroom.
"Oh Sure, Go ahead." Jerry said with a nod.
She stepped inside the tiny bathroom and closed her eyes as she leaned against the door.
God, why was this happening?
Opening the door just a crack, she peeked into the living room. She could see him, sitting on the sofa; the television glowing. When she looked closer, her heart
warmed... He'd turned it to her favorite show.
It was such a simple thing, but it meant so much. Suddenly the realization of what she was about to do sunk in, and her eyes blurred with tears.
Damn, this was getting old, all this crying.
Must be hormones or something.
Quickly she grabbed a towel from the rack and began to blot her face with it.
She hadn't cried this much since...
Well, she couldn't even remember.
Maybe it was a side effect from spending a year in jail.
After all, the Latham County Prison wasn't exactly the Beverly Hills Hotel.
She'd cried a lot there at first, although she'd never admit it to anyone. Prison was, without a doubt, the scariest place she'd ever been in. And the nightmares she'd
had afterwords (and still had) were even scarier.
A knock on the bathroom door caused her to jump in surprise.
"Elaine? Everything all right in there?" Jerry asked.
Her voice quivered when she spoke. "Um, yeah. Just a sec."
She carefully returned the towel to the rack, and then she pushed the door open, trying to smile at him.
"What's wrong?" He asked, instantly realizing that she'd been crying.
Damn... He knew her so well...
He reached over and touched her cheek causing a wave of emotion to come over her.
The hot tears that rose in her throat were dangerously close to the surface. However, determined not to cry, she swallowed hard.
"I'm fine." She said walking past him to the living room.
She could tell that he didn't believe her. But to her relief, he didn't ask questions.
"Here. Let's sit down." Jerry said, gesturing to the sofa. She lowered herself onto the seat, surprised when he gently took her hands in his.
"You wanted to talk?"
"Um... Yeah."
"So what's on your mind?"
Kissing you, holding you, being in your arms... Anything but this...
Try as she might, she just couldn't bring herself to say the words.
The phone rang, bringing a sigh of relief.
"Oh hang on, okay?" Jerry said reaching for his phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, George."
He listened for a moment in silence, nodding every few seconds. No doubt George is telling him about some woman he just met.
Suddenly Jerry looked over at Elaine, as though remembering that she wanted to talk to him.
"Um, George. Can I call you back? Yeah, I was just in the middle of something really important."
Seconds later he hung up. "George can never take the hint when he's not wanted." Jerry mused.
Elaine laughed nervously as she looked into Jerry's eyes. God, why tonight of all nights did he have to look so damn gorgeous? And worse, why was she just now
noticing?
The phone rang again, and Jerry instinctively reached for it.
To Elaine's surprise, he put the phone back. When it rang again, he pulled the plug from the back, smiling with satisfaction.
"That'll show 'em who's boss around here." He said, doing a bad (really bad!) impression of John Wayne.
She started to laugh, but to her dismay, the threatening tear slid down her cheek.
"Lainey, is everything okay?"
He moved closer to her on the sofa and draped his arm around her.
She shook her head. "N-no..."
"What is it?" He asked.
When she was silent, he withdrew his arm and looked at her in a rare moment of seriousness.
Elaine took a deep breath, wondering if she was imagining the pain beneath her chest.
"I don't..."
He waited patiently for her to continue.
"Go on..." he said softly.
Those two simple words were all it took for her to lose it. When she looked at him through tear-filled eyes, his worried expression broke her heart.
If only she didn't love him so much...
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
There was a long, uncomfortable silence.
"I see..." He said, although she knew he didn't.
"Is it something I said? Or did?" He asked.
Elaine sighed. She should have known that he would blame himself.
"No... it's..."
"Here's where you say 'It's not you, it's me.'" Jerry finished. "I vaguely remember having this conversation once before. On our first date as a matter of fact."
The recollection of that moment squeezed her heart.
"But it's not you." She said quietly.
"Right."
"No really. Jerry... It's not..." The statement sounded almost desperate.
"I thought things were different now... from before." Jerry said.
"I just... I can't do this..." She blinked; the hot tears now streaming down her cheeks.
He looked away and then back at her. When their gazes locked, she gasped.
Were those tears in his eyes?
"I-I should go." She said, no longer able to look at him.
Finally she rose from the sofa and grabbed her purse and coat.
Pausing in the doorway, she took one last look around the apartment that had been like a second home to her.
"I hope we can still be friends." She whispered hoarsely.
But as the door closed behind her, she knew that what they had was gone forever.