AN: The update was slightly late because I wanted to catch up on my writing. Needless to say I didn't manage to write more than 200 words which made the delay completely useless.

Quote for today is from the song "Be Prepared" from the Lion King.

This chapter is probably one of the most cheerful of the entire story. There is also the mystical thing known as "Plot" happening. Or at least being hinted at.

"So prepare for the coup of a century! So prepare for sensational news!"

Laserbeak landed on Megatron's arm after her rather successful mission. Her gathered information this time was prime intel and she'd surely be rewarded for it. Indeed, when Megatron found out about the red twin's problem he roared with laughter before calling a meeting between officers to discuss this latest development in the war.

"Well, get on with it then. Some of us have actual work to do."

That comment came, of course, from the one and only Air Commander and Second-in-Command of the Decepticons. His voice was so distinctive that no one could have mistaken his identity, even if they hadn't recognised him by bitchiness alone. The irony that one of the most fitting terms for his SIC was a human word never failed to make Megatron chuckle, in turn sending his screechiness into a massive tantrum that mirrored the eruption of a volcano.

Starscream already looked like he was heading for one of those today, but something else had Megatron so triumphant and exuberant. No doubt this mirth would affect even this Seeker, in fact Megatron would not be surprised to hear a spontaneous party amongst all the Seekers in light of the information he was about to impart on them. They hated, and feared (not that they'd ever admit it), the Autobot in the centre of said intel too much not to gloat as much as they could about it. Maybe Megatron should prepare a reward for the Combaticons, who had been the cause of all this.

Or maybe not. They did decide to disobey the unwritten rule after all, and Megatron had not liked Optimus Prime's repeated lectures, sorry, messages that had been left for him.

Anyway it was time to stop ignoring the by now irate Seeker who looked very close to erupting, since all his officers had arrived, though none of them looked very impressed by his short notice summons. This was especially evident in Scrapper, who looked as though he'd had to come out of recharge to attend.

"My fellow Decepticons, today Laserbeak has brought us some most interesting news."

Starscream -it was always Starscream, wasn't it?- scoffed and said "That little pest brings information every day. What could be so important as to drag us from our work?"

Hmm. Starscream was even more irate than usual. What had he interrupted that would make the Seeker so foul-tempered? He'd ask Soundwave to check the cameras in Starscream's quarters later, just in case it was another takeover plot.

"Oh you'll find that this will interest you quite a bit, if not make you just as excited as I am now. You too, Onslaught." The last remark had meant to stir the Combaticon leader's interest as until now he'd just sat in his seat, looking bored out of his mind (never mind that he could be thinking of thousands of strategies for any and all possible reasons. Some of which Megatron really wished he didn't know about).

Onslaught did perk up a bit while Starscream sat in his place, still seething.

"It appears that, although there were no deaths on the Autobot side last battle, there will be at least one warrior less on the battlefield, maybe two."

Starscream's wings twitched and his irritation faded entirely. Shock replaced it.

It took Onslaught, who was more in control of himself, a mere second to process the situation and ask for the confirmation. "Sideswipe?"

"Play the recording Soundwave." Soundwave did as was asked and soon they were greeted with Ratchet's worried voice.

"- can't keep doing this to yourself Sideswipe. One day you'll stress yourself too much and destabilise your spark completely. Then poof! No more Sideswipe."

"I can't do this Ratchet. I'm so fragging bored I feel like I'll have to go talk to Wheeljack to make me blow up just for something exciting to happen. I can't train, can't play any of my favourite games, can't drive at anything faster than 30 mph, can't beat up slagging minibots who don't know when to shut up, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I'm a fragging cripple."

Sideswipe seemed to have had enough, and he sounded more agitated than any of the Decepticons could ever remember him being. He was known for being easy-going after all. Well, more easy-going than his twin at least.

"Well find something else to do-"

Recording ended

Megatron looked at his officers to see their reactions. Onslaught looked smug; no surprise there. It had been the Combaticon who had inflicted most of that damage, even if it had got him beaten up by Sunstreaker later. This way Onslaught would not even have to think of a plan for revenge, the deed was already done.

Starscream looked positively gleeful; the twins had been lasers in the Seekers' sides for a long time now, and to have one of them crippled was like a gift from Primus.

Oddly enough, though he didn't look any less tired than before, Scrapper seemed more thoughtful than happy. Megatron waited patiently for the query; ordinarily he would have simply demanded Scrapper's input but today he felt quite… generous.

Finally it came. "What is the injury? Hook is bugging me about it; he wants to know what even Ratchet couldn't fix."

Megatron didn't know, didn't care. As long as Sideswipe was out of battle for good, the Decepticons could gain ground. Would, not could.

"Insufficient data." Soundwave replied, meaning Laserbeak did not find that out, for whatever reason.

Scrapper frowned slightly, transmitting the negative back to Hook and wincing at Hook's irate exclamations. Or so Megatron imagined. It wasn't like he could hear the conversation.

Just then, as they did every so often, the glimmerings of an idea, a plan, came to him. It unfurled itself in his mind like an organic flower; simple and pretty and with much to gain. A smirk bloomed on his face as the bounties of his master plan seemed to appear before him.

His officers all took note of the change in his expression and waited (some with impatience) for their lord's newest plan ("foolish" plan according to Starscream).

"Onslaught, how far do you think Sunstreaker would go for his brother?"

AN: Just to note; Megatron did plan the Combaticon attack, he's just keeping up appearances as the infallible ruler (and failing badly ever since he got to earth)

Basically, if a plan goes wrong or has unfortunate consequences he blames it on someone else. Usually Starscream.

Thank you very much to Dark Sirocco, with whom I have had a few interesting conversations concerning this fic. Siro gave me the following snippet to use in. It has to do with Megatron's unwanted messages...

::

BEEEEEP!

Soundwave: You have reached the voicemail of...
Megatron: The-All-Mighty-Mega-wait, is this thing recording? It is? Slaggit. Should we just start ov-BEEEEEP!
Soundwave: We apologise for the inconvenience, but this voicemailbox is full. Please try your comm again later.

::

And that was probably the funniest moment of the fic and I didn't even write it. Thanks again Siro.

Hope you all enjoyed and review please!

Eli