Any Day Now

How long, how long, how long will we take to come undone?
If you know the answer tell me now and I'll write up a calendar for our count down.
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?- Any Day Now- Missy Higgins.

I looked over the balcony, watching the sun go down. It was truly beautiful, but I knew that it wouldn't last, nothing beautiful ever does. Beauty fades with time. With every passing second, beauty fades away until eventually you never even knew it was there in the first place. Nothing ever lasts forever for that matter. Everything moves on, changes, and in the end nothing is ever how it was in the beginning. I've been told forever before, one too many times. It didn't add up then and it won't add up again. I looked up at the strong man who was currently holding me. I saw the sheer determination on his face and I knew that he was completely devoted to me. However, I had seen that look before.

I wonder if it's worth it to love someone even though it will eventually end. I knew I loved Jake. I wished that I didn't, and I could barely admit it to myself, but it was true. I had two options now; I could get out of all of this now, leave and never see him again, or I could just live and love as strongly as I could until then end inevitably came. They both seemed like bad options to me. I knew which one I should do, I just didn't know if it were possible anymore. Could I leave this beautiful man? Could I tell him to leave me? I looked into his eyes and I had my answer; never. I could never leave him, and I could never ask him to leave again. That didn't mean that he would never leave me, though. I would have to be content with whatever I could get for as long as I could get it, I suppose. I just wish I could know when he would leave me. When would I get my heart broken for the second time? When would my world come crashing down on me again? If I could know that, I could be prepared. I could figure out a plan, try to weave myself off of him. I'll never know when though; not until it happens.

"Leah?" Jake said, stroking my cheek and looking into my eyes.

Oh shit. That tone. Is he going to tell me he loves me? Is he going to tell me he doesn't? Is he going to leave? What do I say to any of these things? Why am I so paranoid all of a sudden? Oh yeah, because I fell in love again when I said I never would and I am terrified.

"Yes, Jacob?" I said, almost gasping for breath.

"We should talk to Seth."

Oh no.... Wait, Seth? What?

"Huh?"

"Seth, your brother, you know, the one we left in Forks to come on this crazy adventure. The one we told that we would talk to as soon as we got here."

Shit. We were dead.

"Fuck."

"Yep, that's the one."

"Should we call him or just phase?"

~*~*~

In the end we decided on phasing. You know those things that seem like a great idea at the time but then after you think "God, I am stupid"? Well it kind of went like that. Nothing was going on with the Cullen's, well other than the bitch being pregnant with the spawn of Satan. If something had been going on, we would have known because we would have seen it in Seth's thoughts. That's why we decided on phasing, Seth wouldn't have been able to lie to us. Not that he was a great liar anyway. There lies the problem, however. I am great with hiding my thoughts. I always made sure they were hidden when I was with the pack. However, Jacob is not so great at hiding anything. I suppose that is a good thing, you always know when something is on his mind. My little brother didn't appreciate the honesty in Jake's thoughts. Hearing about a sibling sex life is something nobody wants but seeing it just so happened to push Seth off the edge. He was completely livid. It's a good thing we are so far away; if we had been in the state of Washington; there would have been a fight. I would have put my money on Seth.

It also should be noted that you should never be able to hear the thoughts of the person you are involved with. That would be why I am currently sitting in the bathroom, with the door locked, away from Jacob. Also may not be a good idea to share a house with someone you just started seeing. Could we call it that? Were we dating? Or were we just having sex? What was this whole thing with Jake and me?

"Leah." Jake called.

No, I was not going to answer him, I didn't want to talk to him and I could stay in this god damn bathroom all fucking night if I wanted to.

"Come out of the bathroom, baby."

Baby? Really? Your actually going to call me baby right now? Cocksucker.

"It was just a stupid fight! Come on, Leah!"

Just a stupid fight! Ha, you have quite a few things to learn, Jake. He really is an idiot. He was the one to start the "stupid fight" anyway.

We were just phasing back from our wolf forms when Jake laughed.

"Jesus, I have never seen Seth so mad!"

I looked at Jake and gave him a cold stare. "You haven't seen anything yet."

He looked completely shocked and confused. "What are you talking about?"

Ok, I guess subtly doesn't work at all on Jacob. Obviously I was pissed, why can no guy ever figure that shit out? Why do I always have to spell it out to them? Fuck!

"What's going on, Leah?" Jake asked softly.

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?" I snapped back.

"Who? I don't know what you are talking about." Jake said, running his hands through his hair.

"Bella."

"Oh. " He looked down but I knew he was pissed. Good, maybe he can figure out that I am too, and Leah Clearwater never backs down from anything, especially not from a man.

"What the fuck, Leah? What the fuck does Bella have to do with anything? Keep her out of it."

"Oh, so now you are trying to protect her? Why the hell do you care so much? I can see it in your mind, dipshit."

"She was my best friend, Leah. She was the woman I was in love with."

Of course she was. Of course you just fucking went there. What about the woman who is in love with you now? What is she, chop liver?

"Do you still love her?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer.

He didn't say anything; he just kept looking at the ground.

"Well, do you?" I demanded, I don't fucking back down.

"NO! Ok, no! Not like I did." He yelled, waving his arms around like some fucking air plane traffic control guy.

"Then, why the fuck do you care so much?" I didn't even skip a beat. Your anger doesn't scare me, Jacob Black. I may be terrified that you'll leave me, but I'll never be scared of you.

He looked away frustrated and then turned back, determination shining in his eyes.

"If it were Sam that needed protecting, would you care?"

I gasped. Did he really just fucking say that? How the fuck could he say that to me?

You fucking bastard. I never said the words at loud, but I didn't really need to.

I haven't spoken a word since. How could he bring Sam into this? He knew, he fucking knew what that prick did to me. I couldn't help but wonder if this was the day. Would this be the day we broke up? Would this be the end of us? I honestly didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know or not.

I also couldn't help but think, would I try to protect Sam? Maybe, probably, fuck, I don't know. I suppose it would depend on what the consequences would be. If it meant loosing Jake, I wouldn't even have to think about it.

"Ok, Leah, just open the door! You don't even have to come out, I'll come in there."

I didn't move a muscle.

"Jesus Christ! Alright, can you at least unlock the door then?" He said after he didn't hear me move to get up.

Yeah, because that's what I'm going to do, unlock the door for you, cocksucker. Fuck you! I moved from my position on top of the sink and went to the window. I looked out and wondered if I could make it to the ground. I probably could, but then I would have to phase, and deal with Seth again. Fuck that. I don't need a lecture from my little brother, or to give him another excuse to try and kill Jacob.

"Leah Clearwater! Open the damn door!!!" Jake yelled, pulling on the doorknob.

Oh, well since you used my last name, of course I will open the door for you. Yeah right, jackass. My sarcasm abilities sometimes even impress me.

"I swear to god, Leah, I will break down this god damn door!"

This isn't your house, Jacob. You wouldn't dare.

BAM!

Ok, I guess you would dare.

There he stood, in all his pissed off glory, the door lying in shreds at his feet. Looking at him like that, I couldn't help but think that I hope we'd get over the fight soon because he looked so fucking hot like that. His expression changed as he looked at me. He looked helpless, lost, like a little boy. Where did hot, confident, cocky Jacob who just broke down that door go?

"Leah." He said my name with so much emotion. He looked up at me with sad, lost eyes, and it damn near broke my heart. Hell, I think I just felt it crack.

He held his arms out, and as if I were attached by a magnet, I ran to him.

"Oh baby girl." He almost sobbed out; hugging me so tightly if I were human I wouldn't be able to breathe. He pulled away to look me in the eyes. "Don't ever to that to me again, ok?" His tone was dead serious. I have never seen him look like that ever. "Please, Leah." He begged. "Don't ever look at me like that again. I had no idea what was going on in your head, I had no idea what I could do. I was so helpless!" His words cut me to the core.

"Ok, Jake." I hugged him back. "Next time you piss me off, I'll be sure to let you know, very loudly."

Jake just laughed, hugged me tighter and murmured, "Anything would be better than that."

I guess today wasn't the day.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. My friends brother passed away a week or so ago and I had to help my other friend deal with it. Mix in staying with her every night, driving almost an hour everyday for class plus exams and I had absolutely no time. I have a week off so I may get some more writing done. Also, they needed a fight. Come on now, its Leah, you had to have seen it coming. They got over it though.