She came to me in a dream.

"Sonny," I heard a familiar voice say my name softly.

I was in a room. Well, it wasn't even really a room. I was in a white world- the space around me was all white and it seemed as if there weren't any walls. I was practically floating, yet I stood straight up. I looked around the boring area, feeling small and vulnerable. I was wearing a white dress, and when I looked down at it I noticed it was suddenly billowing in the surprising wind. The sudden gust had my hair flowing out behind me and my dress flapped around me.

Then the white world began to part. I realized I was standing on a cloud, and the ones ahead of me were floating away from each other, creating a large parting. A confident blue sky shined slyly through the opening and I heard my name called softly once again.

"Sonny," I heard my dead mother's voice.

Staring confused up into what seemed to be the sky, something began to materialize in the heavens I gazed upon. Her face lit up the world, and the sun behind her shone through her skin and onto me. Her familiar features made me gasp in surprise in delight; for it was great to see her again.

"Mother," I whispered, a huge smile overtook my features. But it slowly began to fade. "Mother!" I exclaimed again, suddenly having guilt and shame course through me. "I'm so sorry!"

"Shh, honey…" She shook her head. Then the face disappeared. I didn't have time to scream her back to me before she showed five feet away. "Don't come any closer." She warned in a stern manner, putting her hand up.

I nodded helplessly despite the fact I uncontrollably yearned to be in her arms again. My powerless state made me frustrated with myself, and I felt my nose tingle.

"I will stay put," I nod again.

"Allison," she smiled softly, just shaking her head.

After a while of just staring at each other, I spoke. "How can I get you to forgive me, Mom? I-I…don't know what to do."

"Don't be unhappy, honey." She said, but then her smile was huge. "I'm coming to you in a dream! This is so cool!"

Now this is like my mother.

"Oh, Mom."

"I already forgave you, sweetie." She nodded at me.

I stared at her, confused. "But I disobeyed you."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Her figure was glowing slightly, and she looked the same as she did the last time I saw her. But now she looked less stressed.

"I was wrong, Sonny." She shrugged. "You were absolutely ready."

I was too shocked to think of a coherent response. "Oh," was my brilliant try at conversation.

"You are a strong young girl, and you could have done this without my constant nagging on you not to go. You deserve this…and you were completely ready. I…I think it was me who wasn't ready."

Mom looked back up at me, for she had looked down in her heartfelt speech. I saw tears in her dark brown eyes. "I didn't want you to go."

"Mom," I smiled. "I'm sorry, too. I should have never lied to you even if I was ready. You did the right thing trying to keep me safe." I nodded reassuringly.

"Oh, Sonny. I love you so much."

I nodded and smiled, letting the gleeful tears of heavenly reunion roll down my cheeks. "I love you too, Mom."

"Oh," she continued. "And when I told you to stay there, I was just kidding. Come here!"

I ran into her outstretched arms. Or at least tried to. When I ran, the clouds parted again, and I had fallen through the sly opening.

I heard her whisper one last thing in the back of my mind: "Wear white."

My mother watched me fall with a forgiving smile on her face. I screamed.

I shot up in my bed, the scream stopping as I noticed I was breaking the silence violently. My throat felt thick and was now hurting. My whole body shook.

Tears of now sadness and fear streamed down my face and I clutched my blanket to my chest, sobbing into it.

My door burst open and an appalled looking Chad ran to me, jumping onto my bed and automatically wrapping his arms around me.

"Shh, Sonny." I heard my mother tell me through Chad, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and sobbed into his shoulder.

xXx

I woke up a week later.

I groaned unnecessarily and rolled over in my newest bed, rubbing my tired eyes. I let a yawn escape my lips. My arms stretched above as I blindly reached toward the ceiling, stretching my tight muscles. I carelessly rolled over onto my other side now and lifted my head to look at the clock. It was still very early: Three o'clock. Despite that, I got out of my bed and padded toward the door.

Something had woken me up. Something downstairs.

I was a little frightened, still new to the house, but I promised myself no one bad was down there. I, in a confused manner, opened the door quietly and made my way to the kitchen. The comfortable area had me calmed as soon as I walked in. I also noticed a tired Danielle. She was taking a glass out of one of the cupboards, and when she turned and saw me, it almost fell out of her hands.

"Oh!" She exclaimed in a flustered breath.

"Sorry to scare you," I mumbled. "I thought I heard something."

"Oh, yes, dear. I'm sorry to wake you." She looked at me when I didn't move. "What happened the other night?"

I knew she was speaking about the dream I had had and the screaming.

"I, um, I had a bad dream."

It wasn't a bad dream and it was a bad dream when you looked at it from different points of view. Seeing my mother and her apologizing was probably the best dream I'd ever had…but falling from her arms was horrible. It hadn't ended well. I couldn't help but think it was a sign. Did it mean to remind me she was never coming back? Did the ending I did not want to happen, happen because she would never forgive me for what I'd done? Was I being crazy having dreams about my absent mother, or did it really mean something?

Ever since the incident with Chad that had taken place right after my excellent yet horrid dream I've been distant. Whenever I went to the studios to get to know the place I would always have something different on my mind, not really caring about how Marshall's mother was trying to set him up with another woman, or that Nico and Grady had a new video game, or even bothering to defend myself against Tawni's insults. She had been nastier than ever noticing my absent state of mind. In fact, I hadn't even really paid as much attention to even Chad as I had before the dream. It was awkward to be in the same room with him, even if he didn't see the situation that way himself. Ever since my recent outburst of ferocious fear of losing my mother again I'd been so embarrassed and appalled he was there I couldn't even speak to him normally. Even at the table, "Pass the salt," sounded bored and confused. The salt had been handed to me in the same manner.

It has been horrible, really, to sum it all up. I've been putting orange juice in my cereal, putting my bra on over my shirt (thankfully noticing before I left my room), accidentally calling Chad Danielle or Danielle Chad…just….horrible.

I've been off my track, and I'm clueless to how to get back on it.

"Well," Danielle broke me out of my trance. "This dream must have had a very big impact on you."

I stared into space like I'd been for the past week. "She came to me in a dream," I whispered. "but I couldn't go to her."

She looked at me for a second before filling up her water and taking a few gulps of it. Gasping and putting it back down, she said, "today we'll go to the mall and get some new clothes for our trip down to Wisconsin. We'll leave tonight. Late. Go back to bed, dear, and get some good rest. You're going to need it."

I nodded and turned silently, making my way back to my room.

xXx

"Ready?" Danielle asked, her face lighting up.

"Danielle," I said in the distant voice with a small smile. "We're going shopping for a dress."

"No we're not! Surprise! We are actually going shopping for all your new clothes."

It shocked me how much better I felt when those words escaped her mouth. Something in me was put up. Nothing lifted, no grief left me, but more glee emerged within me, canceling out the blankness I had felt before.

Shopping and jewelry- really a girl's best friend.
My smile was wide now. "Just the way to make me feel better!"

"Let's go!"

We completely ignored Chad.

"I guess I'll just go now!" He called to us. "All alone!"

"'Kay!" I yelled back, feeling giddy now. "Call me when you want to meet up."

I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy. This…free. I was able to do whatever I wanted in the store, try on whatever I want, buy whatever I want. I don't remember being so giddy since…I just don't know.

I practically ran alongside Danielle as we made our way to our section.

"Oh my goodness I'm so excited." I muttered to myself over and over again.

"Eep!" Danielle squeaked characteristically. I laughed.

About ten minutes later I was in a dressing room, trying on whatever.

I slipped on the black dress.

No doubt it was cute. As I stared at myself in the mirror I smiled softly, admiring the black cotton that fit snugly around me. I tilted my head thoughtfully to the side.

Then a pang of realization hit me.

Wear white.

I ripped off the dress as if it were burning me.

I stared at it as I clutched it in my hand, stunned to silence. Wear white? I had heard it somewhere…in my dream. As I fell, away from my mother and her outstretched arms, she had whispered to me. I had registered it in my mind as she demanded I wear white, smiling. I lifted my head up slowly to look at myself in the mirror.

I hadn't noticed myself changing. My body had gotten much smaller- I was skinny. A little too skinny for comfort. My posture was now in a permanent slouch, as if I had no reason to be alive. My features had been in a frown or a bored state so much lately they now had a droop to them- an upsetting trait. I was Allison Monroe. I don't frown, I don't cry. But now as I looked at myself in this full length mirror I realized I had been changing- and I didn't even know it.

I arm began to cautiously come up, and my fingers stretched out. I had to be sure.

And when my fingers touched the stranger in the mirror, I screamed.

I immediately clamped my hand to my mouth. Luckily the dressing room was empty besides me, so no one heard it. I shook my head as if to tell myself I was done and I ran from the room. After putting the black dress on the rack to get put back I ran back out to find a new one.

Back in the dressing room, I nodded to myself, absolutely sure.

The white dress stopped only two inches above my knees. It had spaghetti straps that settled on my shoulders, showing off my tan skin. There was just the right amount of my chest showing so I didn't look as if I were showing anything off. Around the waist was a black bow, a decent size on the dress. Beneath it the white of the dress hung carelessly over everyone of my curves. It fit great, it looked great, it felt great, and in the back of my mind I heard my mother exclaim victoriously: "Yes!" For we had won the battle of the overwhelming picking of the dress. It was screaming my name, and I had followed my mother's orders by choosing it.

My mother's favorite color on me was white. I had always disliked the color- it was plain to me, boring. But now I see why she liked it. My hair hung loosely over my shoulders, hiding some of my skin in a shy manner. It brought out the highlights in my hair, and the dark brown of my eyes. It was striking against my skin, and to my satisfaction, I had fallen in love. This dress is perfect. I would wear it and show my mother that I would never disobey here ever again- even simple prders such as finding the perfect white dress. And I had.

xXx

We were making our way to Wisconsin.