A/N: I do not own Harry Potter.

The Deathly Epilogue

A lot had changed in the nineteen years after the wedding. Wars had been fought, battles had been won, battles had been lost. Wars had been lost, and others still had been won. It was an exciting time for everyone.

But none of that really matters, because at this very moment, Ginny and the extended Weasley clan were sneaking through the threshold of Platform 9 ¾ and preparing their little ones to board the Hogwarts Express.

"I don't want to go back to Hogwarts!" moaned Victoria, Bill and Fleur's youngest. "I want to go to Hollywood Arts with all of my friends!"

"Ma chere, Beck and Andre are going to come vee-seet over ze winter holidays, remember? And Sam and Cat have zeir own speen-off show. Surely you can guest star on zat one day?" cooed Fleur.

"But you're letting Trina go!" she glared venomously at her older sister, who was singing horrible karaoke to a group of confused eleven year olds, completely oblivious to her magical surroundings.

"Because Trina is a squib, and it would break her heart if she knew it," reasoned Bill, shaking his head. "She would only embarrass herself at Hogwarts."

Victoria nodded slightly in agreement. "Alright. You always know what's best. Goodbye, mama. Papa. Aunt Ginny. Uncle Ron. Uncle Fred. Uncle George. And everyone else." She hugged her relatives in quick succession and ran off to meet her friends. Curiously, her posse talked like they were from Seattle, seemed obsessed with doing web casts, and all greatly resembled the cast of iCarly. Like it was a crossover fic or something.

Victoria followed them as they boarded the Hogwarts express, her long dark hair dancing behind her.

"Zey grow up too queekly!" Fleur sniffed. "Don't zey, Gabrielle?"

"Een-deed zey do!" said her sister, who appeared suddenly with a fat diamond ring on her left hand and Harry Potter on her right.

"HARRY POTTER AND GABRIELLE DELACOUR?!" the large group questioned in unison. Because even though Harry and Gabrielle had been married for some time, the shock still hadn't entirely worn off.

"Yes, hello all!" beamed Harry, ever proud of himself for having turned a Veela into a housewife. "You all have met my wife, Gabrielle? And our children, James and Lilyfleur?"

"We have, actually," said Ginny. "Many, many times. It was so nice to see you all again at brunch yesterday, and at dinner last week. And when I babysat your children the week before that. But please, Harry, if you enjoy introducing yourselves to us every time we meet, who am I to stop you?"

"Thank you, Ginevra. You were always so kind. And so understanding. And…" he leaned closer as if to sniff her hair,

"So beautiful."

"Watch it, Potter," Draco growled. Gabrielle didn't look too pleased, either.

The tension was mercifully interrupted by an innocent question from James.

"Dad, I'm so scared to go to Hogwarts. What if they put me in Hufflepuff?"

Harry leaned down and smiled at his son.

"James, you were named after your grandfather, who was in Gryffindor, and he was the bravest man I never knew."

James looked confused.

"What's your point, dad?"

"The point is, son, don't get sorted into Hufflepuff. It will be horribly embarrassing for us both."

"Oh, ok…" James sniffed and looked very hard as if he was trying not to cry.

"Harry, don't scare the poor bloke!" Ron Weasley put an arm around his godson's shoulders. "You have nothing to be worried about! It's Mione and my son Arthur's first year at Hogwarts, too. You can talk all about getting sorted together with him." He grinned at his son, a tall, awkward, freckled child with braces and a bright red afro.

"Heck, you might even be in the same house!"

James started to cry in earnest.

"Don't cry, James!" James' head snapped up at that voice, spoken fair and light, coming from Draco and Ginny's daughter Ariana Malfoy. His hands quickly went to his hair, and he sniffled away the last of his tears.

"I wasn't crying," his voice sounded deeper, more melodic. "I was just uh…reenacting that rain we had over the summer. With my face."

Ariana giggled.

"Anyway, Malfoy, how was your summer?"

"Oh, it was great! Really great!" Ariana gushed. "Mum and Dad took us to Paris. Narcissa and Damien didn't want to come back!"

James looked at Narcissa Malfoy, petite with red hair and dark eyes, but mischievous with Malfoy spirit. He then peeked at Damien Malfoy, tall, blond and intimidating as Draco had been at that age.

James gulped. The only one he ever feared…

"And how are you, Damien?" He squeaked.

Damien narrowed his eyes at James. "I'm fantastic. Luckily, Grandfather Lucius let me take his pimp cane to Hogwarts this year," he held out the snake-embossed silver wand carrier that only a Malfoy could pull off without looking gaudy. "Hope I don't have to," he narrowed his eyes at James, "use it."

Arianna pushed him playfully. "Don't mind him, James. He's only teasing. But seriously," she looked at James with kind blue eyes. "I don't want you to be upset about the sorting, ok? It'll be fine, I promise."

"Go out with me, Malfoy," James blurted. "Go out with me and I'll never worry about which House I'm sorted into again."

At that moment, Draco Malfoy stepped forward, grabbing James Potter and shoving him onto the train.

"NOPE! Nope, nope, nope! The fanon ends here, buddy!"

Ginny chuckled and checked her watch. "Draco, it's almost time. Shouldn't we be getting the kids on the train now?"

"Yes, I suppose," Draco agreed wearily.

The adults and children of the Weasley clan said their collective goodbyes. Bill and Fleur departed with Trina back to the Muggle world, Ron and Hermione said farewell to Arthur and stood back waiting with their younger daughter Rose. Harry and Gabrielle tossed a few snacks to James. Draco reluctantly let his children board, making sure that his daughter sat as far away from Harry Potter's son as possible.

As they finished preparing their children for the long and magical journey, they noticed a tall, snake-faced man of about seventy or so walking towards them and wearing…

…Professor's robes.

"Bloody Hell…"

"Hi, gang!" Voldemort stopped to chat with the Weasleys before boarding the Hogwarts Express. "You will NEVER guess what I'm going to be doing at Hogwarts this year!"

He smiled at the silent, mostly red headed group.

"Go on! Guess!"

"Uh, well. Professor of African-American studies?" mumbled Ron.

"Try again!"

"Teaching the students PARSELMOUTH?!" ejaculated Harry, wand at the ready.

Voldemort rolled his eyes. "No, you moron! I'm going to be," he puffed his chest out proudly, "a relationship counselor!"

Ginny thought of the time she had been possessed. Of the time she had been kidnapped. Of the time she had been catfished by Voldemort on OkCupid.

"You're going to do great, Tom," she said.

"Thanks, bae! Oh! And I have something to show you all."

Voldemort smiled excitedly and rolled up his robes as if revealing his Dark Mark.

But it wasn't a Dark Mark. It was a tattoo of a heart. A heart with fancy script scrawled in it.

"Does that say…"

Ginny gasped, Draco balled his hands into fists. Gabrielle fainted into Harry's arms.

"JAMES + ARIANA 5EVER!"

~*~
THE END

A/N: Wow the end of the very first fanfic I ever wrote. Thank you so much to those who reviewed the last few chapters: Resplendent Decadence, ChocoLoverForever, TuesdayNovember, .Tshirts, DoubleCaramel, AriaTheCraZFerret, lalalove-Rae, Daisy Seary, ILuvPeetaMellark aka KT, rowan-Greenleaf, lalap, and to everyone who reviewed/favorited/liked/read this fic at all. Thank you!