I will not try and justify this long hiatus. I'm sorry about the delay, but I promise chapters will come more frequently now that school has started and I am slowly getting used to a new school and school year in itself. Thank you for all of the reviews- you guys are the best!

Here is the next long-awaited chapter…

Sonny.

xXx

My hands were sweating. Like, legit. I hate being nervous.

I didn't really know if I could keep my pinky promise to Jayden- I must have been high on chlorine or something- but I'd already gone through step one. The kids were asleep, and I swear I could feel Jayden's eyes on me as if she were watching me through one of the thousand windows in the house. Realizing Chad could be watching too, I made my position look a little casual and cuter.

Step one was making sure Chad would come to me- so I wouldn't just randomly go up to him and spill whatever feelings I had toward him. I needed time to think, and I knew myself too well to even think I had the guts to go to him. Nope, he was coming to me, people. I had put on my pajamas- a black tank-top and some extremely fluffy black and white pants that had random lines going all over the place- and had obviously asked Chad where the sky deck was again. After giving me directions, I've been out here ever since.

To tell you the truth, I was scared of a few other things than just the embarrassing scene that was advancing sooner than later. For example: This sky deck had no kind of outer wall, fence or anything. There was just a drop at the edge. And it scared the heck out of me. Also, I didn't want to fall asleep before Chad came out here. I had to get up before noon today (I still don't know how I even made it to nine) so I was getting kind of tired, and I wasn't sure what time it was.

I lay under the white, soft blanket that was previously on my bed but now on the huge arm rest couch I rest on as I gaze at the stars. Surprisingly- for California- the sky was pretty clear. The only types of clouds in the sky were little white puffs of them that barely blurred your vision of the night sky.

Every time I looked up there, wondering what in the world I was looking at anyways, something pulls in my stomach. As if someone or something up there needs me more than I could ever imagine. Like there's so much I don't know yet, and that a new beginning starts up there in those stars, and staring up there makes me feel like having a sappy moment. Staring up there, wondering if there was anything up there that was staring back down at me, I sometimes wished I could run away from this world, and shoot for the moon so that even if I missed, I'd still land among the world of stars.

Or, at least, that's what my mom used to say to me.

I used to dream about those things. Like walking on clouds, things like that. I used to daydream about whispering to the stars, for some reason I just knew in my gut that they had all my answers. That's why I stared at them so longingly- wanted them so badly.

But now, I realized that all I really wanted was Chad.

Or if you were looking at the big picture, or in Jayden's point of view, you could say that all I really wanted was to have someone- anyone- in the world still love me as strongly as my family had. They were all gone, up there in the stars, staring back at me- and knowing that I needed some kind of affection. Everyone needed love in their life.

That's why I reacted so strongly when Danielle told me she loved Chad and I- both.

And for some reason, it just had to be Chad.

I shook my head, chuckling at my own stupidity. But I just had to get it out there. I had to tell Chad how I feel and that I needed to know how he felt back so that I wouldn't get too deep into something I couldn't have.

I feared it was too late for that, though.

I heard soft footsteps after the soft thud of the door to the house. Then, all the noise drowned out because of the volume of my own heartbeat.

"Sonny," Chad said as he came up to the black couch I lay on. He wasn't asking something of me, he was just acknowledging my presence. So, I acknowledged his. "Hi," I murmured slowly, and continued gazing at the night sky.

I don't think I can do this.

C'mon, Sonny. You're a tough cookie.

I could almost make out my mother's encouraging eyes in the stars.

Chad is the same to you as Alex is to me. Don't push him away. He needs you as much as you need him.

I sighed.

He didn't push me to say anything else. He was always so careful when it came to me, always knowing when to back up or push me, be there or leave me. He knew me better than I knew myself right now.

Hesitantly, he climbed onto the huge couch right next to me, laying his arm over my shoulders in what seemed like a protective embrace, and that's exactly what I wanted. Playfully, I lay part of the blanket on top of him. At that he chuckled, but it stopped when I wrapped my arms around his torso and lay my head on his chest. It surprised me that the movement wasn't hesitant. Almost like I knew Chad would except me into his arms any time I needed a hug, embrace. I liked the feel of him- he was strong, yet soft. And the way my arms were around him had me thinking that I would never let go in a less literal sense.

For a minute we lay in the most intimate embrace I'd ever shared with anyone. I listened to his heartbeat, blessing the day that his parents laid eyes on one another. I wrapped my arms around him tighter, and even moved a little closer and made the movement as oblivious to him as possible. But he noticed. He always does. Always.

"Sonny," I could hear the hum in his chest as he whispered my name, and I shivered. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded against him. "Yeah."

He didn't push it. He gave me another second or two before he continued, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I groaned, realizing he knew that something was up. "Why do you know me better than I know myself?"

It was a question that wasn't expecting an answer, but got one anyway: "Because I like knowing you." He half-shrugged.

I propped up on my elbow, my chin in my hand but one of my arms still draped over his chest. I tried to suppress a smile as I traced little patterns on his shirt and asked, "What do you like about me?"

Chad stared at me with a soft smirk on his face. "Well, I don't know. What I like about you I can't really pinpoint, but I think it's just everything that makes you, you, Sonny. You're not like any person I've ever known. I like…I like you."

I stared back at him, not expecting such a full, honest answer. But I got one. And he likes me. That was when I began to shake a little bit. My breath wasn't exactly even anymore, either.

Silence fell over us once again.

It was broken when he whispered, "What do you like about me?"

He knew what I wanted to say to him, but not the exact words. I could tell from his eyes that he too wanted to what in the world was going on with us, what exactly we are to each other. But for now, we'd take it slow. And that required me to answer his question.

But that's just it- I didn't know. I didn't know what I really liked about him. Maybe how he makes me feel, what he makes me feel…it wasn't what I liked about him, it was how he affected me. I liked who he made me to be.

"I…" I began, not really knowing what to say. Just then a thought ran through my mind- a flash back. But I think what has occurred is so horrible I don't think I could even wing it.

I had completely improvised my speech at my own mother's funeral. Couldn't I let the words come now?

I stared into his eyes, and licked my lips. His eyes caught the movement, but I didn't notice. I just let the words fall from my lips as evenly as I could. "I'm not sure. Like you said, I can't really pinpoint it. But… I mean, I like a lot of things about you Chad. Honestly, I do. But…I think that maybe it's not the fact that I like you as yourself- even though I actually do- it's just that…" Spit it out, Sonny! "I like the way you make me feel."

Chad stared at me for a moment and I stared at him. There. It was finally out in the open. I didn't really know what I put out there, but I let my mind go faster than my mouth and I spoke everything that was bobbling within it. Chad made me feel something that I couldn't really nail on the head. It was somewhere around…attraction. A wanting.

I couldn't bring myself to continue, and explain what I'd just put on between us.

Then he asked me a question that I'd been dreading, yet dying to hear: "How do I make you feel?"

The words were molasses falling from his lips. For a moment I stared at where the question had come from before looking back up into his eyes but turning away just as quickly. I couldn't think coherent thoughts as I stared at the reflection of the stars in his blue orbs. I opened my mouth and formed the words I was to say, but they never came out. Suddenly something pulled within me and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I just needed to say it.

But what was it?

"I-," I finally managed to choke out. It wasn't much, but it was a start. I could see that Chad was as eager for the words to come as I was. I took a deep breath. "I…don't know. I have no idea." I shook my head, something inside still bothering me. Telling me to just get it all over with.

He was upset with my answer, but at least it wasn't "I hate you" or something.

"Chad," I mumbled his name after I decided to take a crazy chance. His eyes had never left my face since he got out here.

"Yeah," He barely whispered.

I swallowed and grabbed a pillow to clutch as I asked the question. "How do I make you feel?"

His eyes widened and his lips parted. Then he swallowed and said, "I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

"So I get an answer first." Chad sighed and his breath hit my face. I almost collapsed down onto the bed from the rush of it all. We were silent, as I still couldn't do it. His eyes were desperate. "Just say it."

"I can only think about what Jayden would say about this."

"What would Jayden say?" He asked, his voice low and eager.

"She would say…" I stared into those deep, hypnotizing eyes and forgot where I was, who I was. I just said it. My voice became determined. "She would say this: Because of what has happened- how my mother left me- a whole part of me has gone with her. Along with the love she had for me and I for her. Now, I-I'm just feel…alone. I feel alone, and-and I don't like that. I have nobody. I lost the one and only things I really need: Love." He bit his lip, and both our breathing increased.

His hand came up to brush away a tear I hadn't even known had fallen. "But you have me."

I nodded. "That's just it Chad." I took a deep breath. "Ever since that accident happened, you were the only person who at least acted like he cared. Like he knew what I was going through, like he wanted to be there for me. It reminded me of what I needed, which is exactly that: Someone to care for me. Someone to…I need someone to replace the love I lost along with my mother. I…" I shook my head, losing my train of though as he stared at me. "You made me feel so protected with every sign of affection." He tried to hide an embarrassed smile. "And all of the things you made me feel made me think that…that maybe…" Geez. "That maybe it was possible that you could be the one to love me, so that maybe- just maybe- it could be replaced…"

I trailed off, my eyes widening with realization of what I had just said to Chad Dylan Cooper. Chad Dylan Cooper- LOVE me? WHAT was I thinking?

"Oh, Sonny," He sighed and pulled me down toward him. My heart went insane again and it throbbed in my ears. "I don't know- it's probably been five minutes-," He ripped the pillow away from me and replaced it with himself. "-and I'm still jealous of that stupid pillow." My body was now pressed up against his and we lay under a blanket of stars and fluff.

Once again I wrapped my arms around him. "Please don't leave me alone, Chad. Please- just…don't leave me." I whispered, terrified.

"I won't, Sonny." He shook his had to add more meaning. "Never."

Letting my head fall perfectly into the crook of his neck, we stayed in a protective embrace, not letting the other make a move to leave. I let my hand tangle in his hair, and I loved my chin up just a tad to gently kiss the bare skin of his neck. He was so soft…I loved it.

Chad's hand brushed my hair out of my face and we lay together, and for the first time in months I felt myself easily fall into a deep sleep, having felt a huge weight lifted off of my tired shoulders.