Chapter 4
=0=The next morning in the Rec Room inside the embassy
Ironhide sat in the Rec Room with a cube of energon in his big fist. Around him speaking with excited chatter the other mechs took their morning sustenance as they discussed the newcomers arriving that afternoon. Some of them were coming off shift, others were getting ready to go and some had the day off like Ironhide.
Prime had just left having sat down beside him, his kindly optics burning a hole through the guilty aura that suffused Ironhide whenever the big mech came around lately. He didn't regret his joke. That was one for the record books. If you couldn't joke in the army you had no business in the army.
Semper fi. Slaggers.
What Ironhide hated was getting caught so he perfected his innocent optics look for not only Ratchet and oddly enough Prowl, but for the Prime also.
He shook his head. Life was getting complicated.
However, nothing was more complicated at the moment than the brooding medic that sat across from him. Ratchet gazed at him, his optics never leaving Ironhide's face as he sipped his energon, the wheels turning so obviously that even an oblivious mech like Ironhide could see them spin. Ratchet was up to no good.
"Uh, Ratchet? You all right?" he asked considering that he had to make some conversation since Ratchet hadn't spoken a word since sitting down. In fact, when they on-lined and moved around to get ready for the day Ratchet was silent then as well. It was foreboding.
Deeply.
"I'm fine," Ratchet said, his vocal intonation colored with darkness.
Ironhide paused his cube halfway to his mouth, gazing at Ratchet as he calculated what new tactic the big mech was trying on him now. "You sound odd."
"Odd?" Ratchet asked as his voice rose with emotion.
Mechs sitting nearby paused their conversations, then glanced at them.
Ironhide whose optics flared in surprise leaned forward trying to shush his bond.
Ratchet leaned forward, too, his optics filled with agitated emotion. "Odd!?" he asked louder.
The room stilled with every bot including a startled Prowl turning to stare at them.
Ironhide glancing sideways to notice this wished for a moment that the floor would open up and he could fall in. He looked at Ratchet with the air of a desperate mech. "Ratchet, lower your voice."
"Why?" Ratchet asked as his voice carried from the Rec Room to the hallway nearby.
Ironhide knew that because several mechs including Bluestreak and the twins peered in, their optics wide with curiosity. "Why should I lower my voice? Why, Ironhide, should I do *anything* anymore?"
"Oh Primus," Ironhide whispered as he gripped his cube wincing deeply in embarrassment. It went over his helm that he still could after all this time. "Let's go some place and talk about this, okay?"
"Some place *else*?" Ratchet asked, his voice at a level that could not be denied. "Why not *here*? Why not let the *entire base* know about our business? A fat lot *you* care."
Ironhide stared at Ratchet as his processor bordered on the fritz. He looked at his hand and the crushed energon cube therein. He put it on the table watching as it unfolded itself again, forming a perfect cube. It reminded him of the box he currently was in, crushed but yearning to be square once more. He looked at Ratchet catching the look of triumph on his face before he quickly returned to tragic. He felt a brittle smirk form on his lips as he recognized the challenge thrown down before him in this, the most public place for Autobots anywhere on base. Ratchet was making a very public statement piece of his position. "So you want to play this game do you," he said in a low voice.
Ratchet leaned forward. "En garde, you slagger," Ratchet replied as he arose. He downed his cube then tossed it on the table as he stared at Ironhide with a calculating expression. "You're on," he said quietly. Then he walked away with an expression of tremendous (fake) hurt schooled on his face.
Ironhide watched him leave, admiring Ratchet's gall and the determined swish of his aft, then felt it, the combined silence and intense optics of the entire room square upon him. He glanced around taking in the shocked faces and wide optics of everyone he knew. Then he leaned back gathering himself. "What the frag are *you* looking at?" he growled.
The entire room jerked a moment, then settled back, the buzz of conversation returning albeit muted.
Ironhide sat on his chair considering his options, then arose to down his energon. He took his cube and Ratchet's to the recycler, dropped them in, then walked out ignoring everyone in the room.
Every optic followed him and when he was safely out of earshot the room exploded in speculation.
Just as Ratchet knew it would.
And just as Ironhide knew that Ratchet knew that it would.
First round to Ratchet, Ironhide thought as he walked to the firing range to blow up everything he could find that even remotely qualified as a target.
=0=Ops Center
"He *did*?"
Prowl nodded.
"*He* did, *too*?"
Prowl nodded again.
Prime shook his head as he considered the possibilities.
Prowl watched him with his tanks in turmoil. "Should I speak with Ratchet?" he asked.
Prime considered that option, the two hardheaded personalities involved, then nodded negatively. "I think its going to take someone with a Matrix to approach those two and not lose a limb. I do not think I like the idea of you ducking wrenches or worse," Optimus said with a small grin.
A corresponding small grin formed on Prowl's lips in response.
Optimus squelched the desire to explore it with his tongue. "I will talk to them first. Then if reinforcements are needed I will comm you."
Prowl chuckled softly as he shook his head. "It feels like my genitors are fighting."
"Did they?" Prime asked as the first real personal revelation from Prowl was filed away in his data banks for later scrutiny.
"No, actually," Prowl offered sheepishly, thinking back to a quiet cold childhood. "They considered that lower class." He shrugged with a helpless look on his face.
Prime squelched his libidinous programming once more.
"They were silent when they were angry. I would've preferred it if they actually argued but they never did. At least not in front of me."
A pang crossed Prime's processor and he stilled his arm as the need to caress Prowl's face arose in him. "Mine argued. Not often but it was interesting when they did. I will talk to Ratchet. Ironhide is on the firing range. I will let him bleed off a little malice before I approach him."
Prowl nodded, watching as Prime arose and walked to the door. He admired the grace of such a big mech, the subtlety of his movements, then he quashed that before his romantic subroutines overtook his sense. With a slight grin he turned back to work.
=0=Med Bay
Prime peeked his head around the corner warily seeking Ratchet's position before advancing, perhaps under fire.
Ratchet sensing someone behind him turned around from a tray of implements and grinned. "Hello, Optimus. You can enter. I'm not at war with you."
Optimus entered warily as he considered the comment. "You're at war with Ironhide."
He nodded. "Yes. The old fragger started it and I don't intend to lose."
Prime nodded. "Given that when you two war we are all collateral damage, I do not suppose you want to share the problem with me."
Ratchet glanced at him and chuckled. "You might not want to hear what I have to say."
"Try me," Optimus said as he walked to the med bed and hopped up to relax as he considered Ratchet's mood.
Ratchet stared at Prime considering what he understood about the good natured dignified mech. Then he smiled. "You have to promise me that you won't tell Ironhide what I tell you. He'll be, um, he'll be unhappy to say the least."
Optimus considered that, the smile Ratchet had on his face and the number of other times that the two had torn up the world with their personal 'wars' that always seemed to collect victims in the ranks. He nodded. "Alright. Shoot."
Ratchet accessed that remark then smirked. "Apropos for Ironhide," he snorted. Then he considered Prime. "Did you know that you were our son, Ironhide and me?"
Prime blinked with surprise as a smirk appeared in the corner of his mouth. "Who did he tell that whopper?"
"The soldiers."
Prime considered the effect on the morale of the soldiers and did the math. He took the delicate ties they had with the organics, timed it by the number of idiot civilians that had a hand in the way things were run, divided it by the intense emotional regard he had for both Ratchet and Ironhide, then finally squared it by the totality of the frag he didn't care. Then he smiled. "He did, the slagger?"
Ratchet nodded, grinning with a certain amount of pride in the sheer audacity of his bond. "He did."
They were silent a moment, then Ratchet dropped the other shoe. "By the way, we have a grandchild, too."
"Grandchild?" Optimus asked as his optics lit up with mirth like a fog light on a freeway.
Ratchet nodded. "Bumblebee. Oh, and you have several siblings to be named later."
Prime considered that, then he exploded.
In laughter.
He laughed and laughed, then paused to laugh some more. He wiped his optics and grinned at Ratchet who was standing before him with arms crossed on his chest and a grin of supreme bliss on his face. "So," Prime said settling a moment. "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing yet," Ratchet said with a big grin. "I've got it firmly under control. I think."
They both laughed together for a while.
=0=Ops Center
Prowl looked up concern on his face as Optimus walked toward him and took a seat next to him. "Did you speak to them?"
"Ratchet," Prime replied. Then he schooled his face to deep concern having made up his mind to teach Ironhide his own lesson. "I am concerned, Prowl."
The look of alarm on Prowl's face almost made Prime waver but he held fast basking in Prowl's beauty as different expressions formed, then fled his usually calm impassive face. Someday he would regret this but not now. He reached over and touched Prowl's hand. "It is all right. I am going to deal with this."
Prowl raised concerned optics then nodded. "Do you think there's anything I can do? I heard them in the Rec Room. I'm not an expert on relationships but it sounded serious."
Warmth suffused Prime's spark as he listened, then he squeezed Prowl's hand. "I will let you know," he said as he arose.
Prowl looked up with a nod and watched as Optimus walked away heading out of the Ops Center to the base beyond. He shook his head and glanced around, turning once more to his job.