Chapter 8:
Andrea sighed and ran her hand through the soft hair tickling her neck and chest, the silky strands cool to the touch sending tingles throughout her body. Turning her head she captured Miranda's soft pink lips with her own effectively ending the nibbling at her ear. She moaned into her mouth as their tongues clashed with each other, her legs parting instinctively as the older woman pushed her thigh between them. Pulling away from the kiss she gasped and arched into the older woman's hand as it caressed her breast causing her nipple to tighten, her hips buckling against the well-muscled thigh that was grinding into her center.
She felt Miranda's smile against her lips her tongue darting back into her mouth as she kissed her with a slight desperation before trailing kisses down her chin to her neck, her thigh pressing down and rubbing across her center again with added pressure.
"Oh god" Andrea moaned panting slightly tilting her head back as Miranda sucked at her pulse point and raked her nails down her chest and over her stomach. Her body writhing beneath Miranda's wandering hand, its silent request for something more, her hips bucking faster her center hot, wet, and throbbing, she groaned dragging her nails down the taunt back beneath her hands pulling Miranda closer to her at the same time.
Miranda's hand moved lower stopping between Andy's legs cupping her burning center as she shifted and kissed her hard. Both women moaned when she parted the wet folds running her fingers through the moisture gathered there. Andrea bucked against the probing fingers her back arching up from the bed, her body responding to the slightest touch from the older woman. She felt the rumbling in Miranda's chest against her own seconds before her clit was attacked.
"Oh my god! Miranda!" Andrea called out her legs wrapping around the older woman's waist, hips lifting trying to add pressure, her body screaming out for a release. She stared at her, silently pleading with her eyes for her to stop teasing.
She bit her lip hard to keep from crying out when Miranda plunged 3 fingers into her and bit down on her erect nipple. She moaned back arching, hips pressed into the bed as she was fucked fast and hard. She clawed at Miranda's back holding her in place, grinding hard against the wet digits pounding into her. "Oh… fuck… yess!"
Her head fell back onto the pillows when the older woman circled and then pressed her thumb into her clit, her fingers pumping faster, hitting deeper inside of her with each thrust.
"Come for me Andy." A familiar angry voice said from above her. She looked up her eyes widening as she stared into the furious hazel eyes of her husband as she came apart.
Andrea jerked awake and shot up in her bed her hand shooting to her mouth to muffle a cry of anguish, her body covered in sweat and trembling violently. Tears streaked down her face and she bit her lip trying to hold back the sobs choking her and robbing her of breath. One small whimper broke through and it was as if the flood gates came open. She collapsed back on her bed body wracked with harsh sobs. She curled up around one of her pillows and just let the pain, confusion, hurt, and tears overtake her.
Andrea wasn't sure how long she laid there crying before she could breathe again, but she registered someone sitting with her head in their lap running gentle fingers through her hair and softly massaging her aching head.
"Do you want to tell me why I woke up to loud sobbing and cries of anguish expecting one of the children having had a nightmare or fallen from bed only to come in here to find that it's you crying as if the world just fell down around you?" Isabella asked from above her.
Andrea shook her head more tears falling from her eyes as she closed them tightly and curled up against the pain inside her chest. Taking a few choking breaths she turned and wrapped herself around Isabella's slight frame and held onto her as if she were the only thing keeping her from drowning, "M…m…momma. Something happened… and then Serge… he… and oh god." She stopped as more tears choked her as she trembled all over, her head throbbing, and her emotions in a state of unrest.
Isabella held Andrea rubbing her back and humming softly to her like she did in the days following her son's death. She hadn't seen the young woman this distraught since then. Her heart broke for her daughter and the pain she was displaying. She held her and just continued to rock her and hum to her until the crying subsided to hiccups and sniffles, "Come dear heart, let's get you into dry clothes and you can tell me what brought this on. Alright?" When she felt the slight nod she untangled Andrea from around her and stood up helping her into the en suit bathroom.
15 minutes later Andrea found herself sitting in her 3rd floor art studio standing in front of her easel, paint brush in hand and Isabella watching her curiously, "So, let me make sure I understand, you were asleep, dreaming and at some point in the dream Sergei showed up and was furious with you and you woke up crying?"
When she just nodded Isabella sighed and shook her head. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and mumbled, "It was an erotic dream Momma… with someone other than Serge." Andrea dropped her paint brush and walked over to the sink dropping it in and leaning her hands on it. "I was having sex with someone and they turned into Sergei… and he was furious. His eyes. Do you remember that day the man from the agency came to the house?" she finished turning to look at Isabella. She watched her think until she saw her eyes flicker back to her and her chin dip slightly, "He was looking at me as if he wanted to devour me and Sergei went ballistic, remember? When he got him out of the house and came back to the receiving room his eyes looked as if there was truly a fire burning in them. It scared me and you had to calm him down… that's the look he had in his eyes right before I woke up. I felt so many emotions running through me. Guilt, pain, confusion, lust, more guilt, fear. Nothing makes sense."
Andrea sighed and walked over to the window along the side wall of her house looking over her small garden park, "I don't know if I told you, but I remember most of everything up until the actual accident. My life, it all came back to me during the night, I woke up and a lot of the blank places were filled. Sitting there eating pizza with the girls. Lexxi climbed in my lap about midway through the meal and she just stared at me for a while. Then she kissed my cheek and told me that she was the luckiest girl in the whole world. Do you know why she said that?" smiling softly she looked back at Isabella who shook her head. "She said she's the luckiest girl in the whole world because I'm her mother. It… it made me feel something… indescribable. I hugged her and when I looked up Rory was sitting across from me. She smiled and winked at me. It was after that when a lot of things started coming back to me. She looked so much like me when she did it, but her eyes… she has her father's eyes. It was after that however that I could remember almost everything. Growing up in Ohio, going off to college, Nate, Lily, Doug. Moving to New York, the accidental job at Runway, Emily, Nigel, Serena, the twins, Harry Potter, and Miranda. A few things still alluded me, like I knew Rory had her father's eyes but I couldn't remember anything else about him,` until I woke up this morning there was nothing I couldn't remember, I remember everything. Big or small. I remember the day my parents decided I was no longer part of their lives. Did I ever mention that before?" She walked away from the window and sat down next to Isabella on one of the stools at the counter.
Isabella frowned and then shook her head, "No. I think every time we started talking about your parents you would remember their names, and little things about them and your childhood. After that you could hardly remember them at all."
Andrea smiled sadly, "That's because my freshman year of high school I stayed with Lily and her parents. My parents dropped me off for a sleepover, the next day when I went home there was a letter on the door. They couldn't stand to be around me. Told me that no daughter of theirs would do what I did to them. I sat there… numb. I couldn't figure out what I'd done that was so bad. My dad's sister finally told me. She came to see if I had somewhere to go. She said my dad couldn't have a lesbian for a daughter. Said it would look bad since he was an upstanding minister and so they left me. Lily came to see me later that day. I had found a way into the house and was in what had been my bedroom. She watched me cry for a little over an hour and then took me to her house. I never told anyone why they left me. Not even Lily or Doug. I finished school, went off to college where I met Nate. He was a great friend. He tried for a year to get me to go on a date with him. I refused every time." She stopped and rubbed her temples before pinching the bridge of her nose.
"What made you change your mind? You two dated, didn't you? When you moved to New York, you were together." Isabella asked in a whisper.
Chuckling Andy nodded, "Yeah. My father showed up at the school. Not to see me mind you, but I ran into him leaving the admissions building. He stared at me for a while before recognition finally dawned on him. I'd changed a lot since 9th grade. I walked up to him and smiled. He didn't know how to handle that. I thought… maybe he was there to see me. I was wrong. He was there for another kid. A stepchild. My mother had died and he had remarried. He wanted his new stepson to get in for the spring semester. I just turned and walked away. I refused to let him see me cry. Before I made it to my dorm, Nate found me. He held me while I cried. He offered to take me to get coffee. I nodded and we left. That night he asked me to dinner. I agreed. I wanted to be normal. I mean my mother died and no one told me because my dad refuses to have a gay child. So I refused to be gay." She laughed softly and looked up at Isabella, "I wanted to make it work with Nate. I did everything I could. It only worked because Nate was already one of my good friends. We'd already had a relationship, it didn't change much. I let him kiss me. Do you know I was a virgin up until a week after we graduated from college? It took me that long before I would let him touch me that way, but he never said anything about it. Well not until we started planning to move. That night… I felt a part of me die. We moved to New York about three weeks later."
When Andrea looked up again Isabella was standing next to her tears running down her cheeks, "Listen to me sweetheart, there is nothing, nothing at all, wrong with you being gay. It would explain a lot actually. Your father was an idiot and it's his loss and my gain. You are a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and caring young woman. No matter who you fall in love with that doesn't change. Now tell me what happened between you and Nate."
Andrea smiled and kissed Isabella's knuckles, "Thanks Momma. Wow, what happened between Nate and me, honestly…? Miranda Priestly happened." Andrea laughed at the look on Isabella's face, "Let me explain. I wanted to be a journalist; I didn't have the slightest interest in fashion at all. I went for an interview after a call back from Elias-Clarke publishing. However, instead of a job writing for someone it was for Runway magazine, the 2nd assistant position for one Miranda Priestly. I didn't even know who the woman was. Which Emily found incredibly unreasonable. Anyway, Miranda hired me herself much to the disappointment of her 1st assistant, that was Emily at the time, and it was a disaster. I didn't fit in there, had no real idea of what fashion was about. That all changed eventually. Nigel actually helped me out there. Working for Miranda is not for the faint hearted let me tell you. I managed though, and after several close calls I became the best damn assistant to walk through those doors. Succeeding at work came at a price though. Nate hated it, as did Lily. Lily had an art show about a week before we left for Paris. She saw me talking to a guy that I met through work. He was flirting; she went all crazy at me. Nate walked in and I walked out. He followed me. We argued about me working at Runway and turning into the same people we used to make fun of." Andrea stood up and walked over to the easel holding a half-finished charcoal sketch. She picked up the charcoal and started working on the drawing.
"'The person whose calls you always take, that's the relationship your in.' that was the last thing Nate ever said to me before opening night at the studio. Miranda called almost immediately after he said that. Of course I had to answer, I was on call and Emily was in the hospital. So I answered it. He walked away from me. He never returned to the apartment that night and I left for Paris the next week." She continued working on the drawing and glanced over at Isabella.
"So if you were willing to let go of friendships and Nate, and everything why did you leave Miranda?" Isabella asked walking over to look at the images coming together on the canvas.
Andrea laughed and shook her head, "This is the second time in less than 12 hours I am going to have this conversation you know? I had to. She was consuming me. Everything I did, I did for Miranda. Andy got lost in there somewhere. Christian Thompson called me 'Miranda girl' a few times when I ran into him, he was more right than he could have known. Miranda was everything to me at the time. Every day of my life was about Miranda and it terrified me. It also made me realize that I wasn't as 'straight' as I wanted to believe. After years of living with Nate and being with him, it was easy to fool even myself. When he made his relationship comment however, it made me stop and look at it. The last day I was with Miranda I realized just how true it was. I always chose Miranda over everyone else. I chose Miranda over Lily, Doug, Nate, Christian, and even myself. I had to figure out who I was again before it was too late. So I walked away. It was hard. She called not even a minute after I turned and walked away. I fought everything in me to not answer that phone. I didn't, I walked away from Miranda Priestly, Runway, and everything about my life that was tied to Miranda. After I'd gotten my things from the hotel, I was heading to the airport. That's when the accident happened. That is still a little fuzzy." Andrea stepped back and looked at the images before her and sighed.
"You were in love with her." Isabella stated her voice soft and gentle. Andrea nodded slightly and turned away from the picture her head falling back on her shoulders and she stared up at the ceiling. "Are you still in love with her Andy?" Isabella asked watching her very closely. When she didn't reply immediately Isabella placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Groaning Andy shook her head, "No... I can't be. I'm not. I just can't figure out what the hell the woman wants from me. She kissed me." Sighing she dropped the charcoal from her hand and went to wash up and removed her coveralls. "We were talking in the library while the girls were preparing the pizza. I mean, talking about books and then her tongue was in my mouth. It happened before I even realized what was going on." She turned and leaned against the sink her arms crossed over her chest. "I asked her, she explained, only not really. It was so like Miranda. She doesn't explain anything so I remained confused. Then she wanted to know about Paris. And then she tried to kiss me again. The woman confuses me to no end. I used to be able to predict her moods, what she wanted, what she needed before she knew half the time. Now it's like… I know nothing about her. Except oddly enough I remember exactly how she likes her coffee."
Isabella watched her and smiled slightly, "Andrea, you've always been in love with her. You just never remembered it. Why else would this woman haunt you for so long? Your daughter is her namesake for crying out loud. You could remember nothing from before the accident except for Miranda's name and her eyes. Sweetheart, it's alright for you to love her."
"I don't love her. I barely know her. I… I can't love her. We…" sighing she shook her head and looked at Isabella, "Miranda and I, are friends, nothing more. I can't even think about loving her without pain, Momma. I do love her in a way I guess, but I won't allow myself to fall in love with her. That's what indirectly led me to the accident. I will never regret it because I got you and Serge, and Lexxi from it, but I wouldn't choose to do it for a second time. I'm going to check on the girls."
Isabella watched her leave and then turned her attention back to the drawing she watched her finish. The picture was of Miranda Priestly herself. She was sitting in the library and looking out of the page. Her eyes were soft and staring right into you it seemed. Her lips looked slightly puffy and were slightly parted. She looked as though she wanted to devour whoever she was looking at and Isabella thought she knew exactly who that person was. Shaking her head she turned out the lights and left the room.