#16 Mind

There is a fundamental difference between being clever, and being a natural genius. Clever people can be on the same level, but they have to work harder at it, with genius, it all comes so easily they might not even realise their own remarkable abilities.

L was rapidly discovering the difference between these two types of intelligence. Since becoming a parent he was finding out a lot about how minds worked.

His first-born, for example, could not be called a genius by any stretch of the imagination. He was blonde with big black eyes, his mother's dainty smile and as Watari put it 'Cute as a bunny-shaped button', but his intelligence levels were entirely unremarkable.

L didn't want to be, but he was somewhat disappointed by this. Oh, he adored his son, but he had hoped for a child with whom he could hold a conversation. Jay only ever wanted to babble about his favourite cartoon characters or play boisterous outdoor games that L just wasn't very good at.

That left him here, watching Misa raise their son almost single-handed, because L wasn't sure how to relate to the little blonde boy.

He liked to watch her putting their son to bed. Like a scientist making field notes he'd observe her telling the toddler fairy tales or making up stories of her own, kissing his forehead and tucking him in with a tenderness L could just barely recall his own mother giving.

Misa walked slowly to the doorway, closing their son's bedroom after her, and smiled to L.

"He's so cute." She whispered. "Don't you just love him, L? Every time I see that little guy I just want to hug him."

L nodded, chewing on his thumbnail anxiously. "L loves Jay-kun very much."

The model's eyes fluttered a little with concern. How quickly she'd learned what signs meant her husband was worried about something. "L, what's the matter?"

L shook his head. "I am not… precisely certain myself. It… seems like a horrible thing for a parent to think about their own child."

Misa's pretty face instantly frowned; she was a defensive mother of her precious little son. "What is?"

L shook his head, "See? Misa is already angry with me."

She paused, and sighed, closing her eyes and taking a breath or two to calm herself. She knew L, he never meant to say things that might hurt you, they just came out that way sometimes. She knew deep down he'd never want her or their baby to be unhappy.

"L wishes Jay was more intelligent… no, that is not fair… I wish I were not so intelligent." L turned away from his wife's eyes, sensing anger that he didn't wish to face. He reached and slid one hand through the thick black mess he called hair. "Misa-chan… All my life, it's been very easy for me to absorb knowledge. It's been easy to get by on brains alone… but…" that deep voice sighed. "Since I met you… since we had Jay… it's been so hard. I can quote any number of precise laws from any country you care to name, but…"

Misa saw his eyes rest for a moment on Jay's bedroom door. It had stickers with stars and glow-in-the-dark planets all over it; Jay was going through a phase of adoring space at the moment.

"All the knowledge in the world doesn't tell how to talk to one's son." L mumbled sadly. "…it should be easier…It would be easier if Jay were a genius… L understands genius children."

Misa shook her head and took L's hand, threading their fingers together and smiling at the feel of his wedding band pressing to her finger.

"Jay's not stupid, you know." She whispered. "A bit dopey maybe, but so am I… and you managed to get me to talk to you." She nuzzled his shoulder tenderly; breathing in the slight smell of icing sugar that hung around L in a thick fog.

L actually managed a smile. "Misa…"

She kept her eyes closed against his shoulder. "Just try toning down the clever a little bit… tell him about planets or something, he'd love that." She pecked his cheek once and smiled at the slight look of surprise on his face; same as the first time she'd kissed him. "Its hard being smart, isn't it?"