Disclaimers: Don't own KHR or its characters.
Warnings: fluff, swearing.
Beta'ed by AmbiguousThoughts – as always, huge appreciation for your work! :D
Namimori, 2.18am
BEEP-BEEP -!
"Oi…baseball idiot, your phone just beeped," Gokudera murmured sleepily as he nudged Yamamoto who was hugging him from behind.
"Mm-kay… I'll check it… in a moment…" Yamamoto mumbled on the back of Gokudera's neck, embracing him a little closer and pressing a tiny kiss on Gokudera's head.
Gokudera sighed, squeezing Yamamoto's hand, "Just go do it now so we can go back to sleep…"
"Okay…" Yamamoto nodded reluctantly and pecked Gokudera's cheek before he slowly released Gokudera and rolled over to reach for his cell phone.
The name that appeared on the screen shocked him out of his drowsiness.
Hibari.
Yamamoto spared a glance at Gokudera, noticing that the silvernette's back was still turned towards him, before he opened the text message.
[Call me.]
The text was short, precise and not at all unlike the prefect Yamamoto so knew. It was then that Yamamoto realized he had been quite distant with Hibari ever since he got himself involved with Gokudera – and he missed the Skylark.
With that thought, Yamamoto quietly sat up on the bed – checking that Gokudera was still sleeping once again – before he dialed Hibari's number.
The phone rang twice before Hibari picked up.
[…hey.]
Hibari's voice was contained and quiet as always and with a pang in his chest, Yamamoto discovered that he missed the prefect much more than he thought he did.
Yamamoto pondered the things he should say before he settled on the simple statement, "…we haven't talked in a while, Senpai."
[Hn.] Hibari agreed.
"You're back from Fujiyoshida?" Yamamoto asked, even though he already knew the answer. The question was just an excuse to start conversation with Hibari – and an excuse to hear more of Hibari's voice.
[Yeah. Just got back today.]
Yamamoto nodded, "How was it?"
[It was…fine.]
There was only a mere second of pause in that sentence, but Yamamoto noticed right away that something was off. Hibari wasn't the type of person who paused between sentences. He was always so decisive in his actions and choices that a moment of indecisiveness meant something was wrong.
"Hey…are you okay?" Yamamoto questioned in a soft voice.
It took a long moment before Hibari replied – in such a quiet voice that it was hardly audible. […no.]
Hearing that answer made Yamamoto want to immediately rush over to Hibari's house and hold his Skylark in his arms. Usually, the prefect would hide the things that were bothering him – Hibari was the kind of independent person that preferred to handle his own business all by himself. The fact that Hibari was being honest about his situation now meant that something relatively huge was going wrong.
"Do you want me to come over?" Yamamoto offered, desperately wanting to be there for Hibari.
[…it's two in the morning.] Hibari reasoned.
"I don't care," Yamamoto replied instantly before he said, "If you want me there, I'll be there."
For a lingering pause, Hibari almost agreed to let Yamamoto come over. But the logic embedded within him disagreed. […no. I don't want you out in the dark alone.]
Yamamoto tried to argue, "It's okay, I'll-"
[No.] The tone of his voice told Yamamoto that it would be futile to try to change his mind – Hibari's reply was final.
The two were silent for a while before Hibari continued to speak. […remember when you told me you just needed to hear my voice?]
"…yeah," Yamamoto nodded. That was the time when he first kissed Gokudera and was feeling incredibly guilty and confused. By talking to Hibari back then, Yamamoto realized he didn't want to lose the Skylark – and by talking to Hibari now, he once again remembered just how much Hibari meant to him.
[…the voice thing. I get it now.] Hibari's voice was quieter when he said this. […I just need to hear your voice right now as well.]
"Hibari…," he repeated once again in a gentle, almost-persuasive, voice, "…are you sure you don't want me to come over?" Yamamoto's concern for Hibari was growing by the second. Hearing Hibari's voice revealing the slightest vulnerability pulled harshly at his heart strings.
[…no. It's late.] The answer was still the same, though Yamamoto could tell Hibari was more hesitant this time around.
Yamamoto kept silent after that, and for a long moment, the two just sat there in the quiet as they listened to the other person breathing on the other side of the line. No words were spoken, but the two felt comforted by it – sensing each other's presence as though they were sitting side by side.
A few more minutes of silence passed before Hibari spoke. […it's late, you should sleep.]
Yamamoto was indeed sleepy but with the situation he was in he was reluctant, "…are you sure?"
[…yes.] Hibari sounded hesitant yet certain all the same.
Yamamoto did not want to hang up just yet, "Just…call me if you change your mind or anything, okay?"
[Hn.]
"Hibari…" Yamamoto started, his voice softening.
[Hm?]
"…I miss you," Yamamoto whispered quietly – and as he spoke those words, he knew them to be true. He did miss Hibari – so much more now than ever.
Hibari took a moment before he replied in an equally soft whisper, […I do, too.]
And with that, the line disconnected.
Yamamoto sighed, looking at the screen of his mobile phone for a little while more, before he rested it on his bedside, turned around…
…and met two pools of emeralds staring right back at him.
"Gokudera…" Yamamoto breathed, the guilt fully sinking into him instantly, "…how long have you been awake?"
"Long enough," Gokudera replied simply, his arms crossed over his chest. Those eyes that stared intently at Yamamoto weren't angry or chiding…just hurt – and that was the worst part of it all. Yamamoto had hurt someone he cared for once again.
"Gokudera-" Yamamoto started, but Gokudera cut him off.
"You really like him," Gokudera stated with a straight face, as though trying to contain his emotions. Neither of them needed to bother questioning who 'him' referred to – it was obvious enough.
"…I do," Yamamoto admitted guiltily before he continued, "…but I really care about you as well."
Gokudera looked away – not allowing those dark chocolate eyes of Yamamoto's to get to him. His arms crossed tighter as he spoke, "You can't have everything. You can't be that selfish and get away with it."
"…I know," Yamamoto murmured – and he did know. He always had known from the beginning – but that didn't stop him from going through with it all the same. Yamamoto looked at Gokudera, "…I'm sorry."
Gokudera refused to meet his eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to face those eyes and not forgive Yamamoto. He didn't want to forgive him so easily, not this time.
At one point during the interim, Gokudera believed Yamamoto might've cared for him more than Hibari – but the phone call just now proved him wrong. Watching and hearing Yamamoto talking on the phone with Hibari finalized it, and Gokudera wasn't going to deal with this affair any longer. He couldn't be with Yamamoto whilst knowing that the baseball player had at least half of his heart for someone else. It hurt too much, and Gokudera was done with being around people who caused him pain.
With that thought, Gokudera started shuffling out of the mattress and off Yamamoto's bed.
However, Yamamoto stopped him in his tracks by gently wrapping his arms around Gokudera's back.
"…don't go," Yamamoto whispered pleadingly. He couldn't let Gokudera leave – he couldn't just end this relationship with him. They were too far gone and had felt emotions too far deep to go back. Just as much as Yamamoto couldn't bear to lose Hibari, he couldn't afford to let Gokudera go.
Gokudera stopped attempting to get off the bed, but he pulled Yamamoto's arms off him nonetheless – cutting off anything that could potentially weaken his resolution.
"Why shouldn't I?" Gokudera spoke, turning around to face Yamamoto, "Give me one good reason why I should tolerate this fucked up situation we're in."
Yamamoto hated looking into those pained emerald eyes whilst knowing that he was the very cause of the pain and could do nothing about it. Yamamoto took a deep breath before he started speaking, "…I don't want to lose you."
Gokudera remained silent. He knew he shouldn't listen to what Yamamoto had to say – it would only drag him back into a whirlpool of bitterness – and yet, he still wanted to hear all of it. Yamamoto continued, "…and that's selfish of me, because I would say the same to Hibari."
Gokudera frowned, "…how is that even a good reason?"
"It's not," Yamamoto paused, "…but it's all I have to keep you from leaving."
A great moment of silence passed between them. Yamamoto held his breath. At any moment, Gokudera could just get up and leave him – and if that happens, he wouldn't know what else to do to hold Gokudera back; because Yamamoto knew better than anyone just how selfish he was by trying to keep both Hibari and Gokudera with him. The baseball player was in a situation of the greedy fisherman who held a fish in each hand instead of one with both hands, and because the fish were very much alive, one moment of recklessness, and both fish could escape away from his grasp forever.
Right now, Gokudera was slipping away from his hand – and unless he let go of one fish to hold onto the other, he might as well lose both of them in the end.
However, surprisingly, before Yamamoto could say anything, Gokudera broke the silence for him.
"One month," the silvernette stated with a stiff voice.
Yamamoto looked up at those emerald eyes, confused but hopeful.
"…I'll give you one month to decide," Gokudera continued, "…but I can tell you right now that one month will be all that I will tolerate – more than that and I assure you, I won't be there even if you do choose me in the end. One month. I can't take any-fucking-more than that."
With that said, Yamamoto sat up on his knees before he wrapped his arms around Gokudera, murmuring the only words he could at that moment, "…thank you. Really…thank you, Gokudera."
And he really was grateful. Gokudera was beyond kind to offer him such a deal – it allowed him to be selfish for one month more, and it provided him time to really figure out what he truly wanted. Gokudera was incredibly generous in allowing him this whilst knowing full well that it may not be him who Yamamoto wanted to be with at the end of the torturous wait. Yamamoto knew this much, and he couldn't express enough of his appreciation but to hold Gokudera tight in him arms – entirely relieved and happy that the silvernette was still within his reach.
But what Yamamoto did not know was that Gokudera did not offer him the deal out of kindness or generosity. The deal was, in fact, offered out of Gokudera's own selfishness.
Because to a certain extent, Gokudera knew that if he were to leave right now, Yamamoto wouldn't stop him. Right now, no matter how much it hurt, Gokudera understood that Hibari held more importance to Yamamoto than he did – and if Gokudera left, even though Yamamoto would be unhappy, he would soon recover by staying with Hibari. Gokudera would be the only one truly hurt by this situation. But if he gave Yamamoto more time – maybe, just maybe – Yamamoto might grow more feelings towards him, enough feelings to outweigh his bonds with Hibari.
By waiting, Gokudera was allowing himself to endure one painful month for the single chance that Yamamoto might choose him; it was the exact same method he used with how he allowed his father to abuse him whilst clinging on to the hope that Chisato might somehow in time go back to the loving father he used to be.
For the majority of his lifetime, Gokudera Hayato had clung onto that unrealistic dream. That first wait since childhood had failed miserably – and had scarred him terribly. But Gokudera was willing to risk the pain once again, in the hope that Yamamoto wouldn't fail him as his father did; in the hope that Yamamoto would make it all worth the wait.
And if not…Gokudera might as well lose the ability to ever believe again.
Lancia's place, 2.59pm
"Yo, Senpai, long time no see!"
The guy who Yamamoto remembered his name to be 'Skull' stood in front of the house, leaning against the door frame as he waved at Gokudera. His brilliant purple hair was tousled messily and his eyes were lined darkly with eyeliner that matched the color of his tattoo, just like the last time Yamamoto's seen him. Only this time, he was wearing less metal on his face and his attire was much simpler: casual clothes of only a screened t-shirt and torn jeans.
"…and you! I remember you – you're the sushi guy. Senpai's…friend?" Skull pointed at Yamamoto.
"Ahaha, yeah, that's me," Yamamoto nodded with a smile as he got off his motorcycle.
"Cool. It's nice to know Senpai's managed to actually make friends," Skull commented.
"Oi, what the fuck is that supposed to imply?" Gokudera snapped, pulling out his luggage from the storage box of the motorcycle as well as his cat, Uri, who was clearly irritated by being put inside a box. Gokudera frowned at the agitated little feline creature before he passed it over to Yamamoto, "Hold the thing."
Yamamoto easily received Uri and gently scratched its head. Strangely, Uri immediately calmed down in Yamamoto's arms. Gokudera rolled his eyes at that, but continued to sort out his luggage which was slightly messed up by the cat.
"Waah- you brought a little kitty!" Skull exclaimed, excitedly coming up to Uri and stroking its fur. Uri looked at the punkish stranger cautiously, but seemed settled enough in Yamamoto's hold not to be bothered by him.
Yamamoto observed the way Skull's eyes lit up as he played with Uri and found himself surprised to discover just how ordinary Skull looked – sure, he still had many piercings and a tattoo and wore dark makeup, but right now, Skull didn't look like an 'evil, violent color gang member'. He was just a young teenager, enjoying life day by day.
In fact, the Dynamite base surprised Yamamoto to a certain extent. When Gokudera told him that he would be going to Dynamite's base today and allowed Yamamoto to drop him off, the baseball player sort of expected to see a place that would obviously stand out as dangerous. Maybe something that would look like a warehouse or something of the sort. It was, after all, the house of the leader of one of the most notorious color gangs in town.
However, the house in front of Yamamoto right now looked nothing like what he expected. It was a modern looking home, painted a clean white with lots of windows instead of walls, complete with a fresh green garden with a large tree and some flowers. The house looked normal and homely – just like every other house in the neighborhood. The only thing that might merely suggest that it was a base to a color gang was the number of motorbikes parked in its huge garage, and that the house itself was much larger than the rest of the houses close by. But apart from that, it was a normal, typical house.
"Is Lancia home?" Gokudera asked Skull when he finished sorting out his bag.
"Yup. Everyone is here today, actually," Skull replied, still playing with Uri.
Gokudera raised an eyebrow, "What, is there supposed to be a meeting or something?"
"Nope, everyone's just here," Skull said before he added in a sneaky whisper, "Even Spanner-senpai's boyfriend is here."
"Whoa, no shit, really?" Gokudera's eyes widened before he laughed.
"Yeah, for real. You'll see them as soon as you go in," Skull confirmed, grinning.
"Ha. Can't wait," Gokudera smirked.
Yamamoto, sensing that this was his cue to leave, handed Uri over to Skull. However, Gokudera turned around and looked at him – pondering for just a moment – before he said, "Hey, baseball idiot, you should come in too."
Yamamoto blinked, "Ah- but…it's your gang's place."
"Oh, don't be a moron. It's not like this place is secretive or anything." Gokudera urged him, "Come on. Come meet my people."
Yamamoto stared at the silvernette. Frankly, he did not expect this invitation at all – even being able to drop Gokudera here was unexpected. It was not only because the Dynamite's base was a considerably personal place to Gokudera – a place Yamamoto shouldn't intrude – but also because of the atmosphere between them ever since yesterday's 'deal'.
Last night they fell asleep lying side by side with Gokudera's back turned towards Yamamoto. Then, when they woke up, they talked 'normally' as how a friend would communicate with a friend and nothing more – they didn't touch or kiss, and neither did they do anything that even hinted intimacy. It raised question in Yamamoto, and he didn't quite understand where they stood right now. Was he supposed to keep their relationship on a casual level until the one month was over? Yamamoto wasn't too thrilled with that idea, though it was relatively better than not having the relationship at all.
"Yeah, sushi guy, you should join us! Spanner-senpai's boyfriend will feel better with another non-gang-member there as well," Skull added.
Yamamoto looked at Skull then back at Gokudera before he nodded, "Ahh, I guess I could stay for a bit…"
"Cool, just park your bike there, then come on in," Skull pointed to the garage with his thumb before he headed back into the house with Uri.
After Skull was gone, Gokudera helped Yamamoto park the motorcycle in the crowded garage before he started talking, "Just a few warnings before we go in…don't take these people too seriously, 'kay? They mean no real harm, trust me. Oh, and don't stare at people's scars or tattoos."
"Haha, you're kinda scaring me Gokudera," Yamamoto laughed nervously.
"Heh, there's nothing to worry about. I'm cool with them, and I'm cool with you. So in theory they should be cool with you too," Gokudera patted his back. Then, after a moment of consideration, Gokudera repeated, "In theory."
Yamamoto didn't know what he should feel about that – relieved that Gokudera admitted he was 'cool' with him, or intimidated by the fact that a whole color gang may or may not like him. What he still did definitely feel, however, was the lingering confusion at the status of his complicated relationship with Gokudera. He'd prefer it if the answer was: yes, they were still at the same level they were on before the one-month-agreement. But even if it wasn't, at least Yamamoto wanted to know where exactly they're at and what the appropriate distance between them was.
Thus, Yamamoto took a chance and grabbed Gokudera's hand.
It startled the silvernette, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he looked up questioningly at Yamamoto, "…what is it?"
"Ah, um…nothing really," Yamamoto replied, laughing dryly to cover up the awkwardness.
So we can still hold hands…?
Gokudera leaned his head to one side, observing Yamamoto, before he suddenly flicked his index finger at Yamamoto's forehead.
Yamamoto blinked rapidly, "What…?"
Gokudera sighed, squeezing Yamamoto's hand gently, "Stop looking so depressed. They're not gonna plunge out your guts, you know. You'll be fine."
That really wasn't the reason why Yamamoto was concerned, but instead of explaining, Yamamoto simply nodded and allowed Gokudera to take his worry as a result of his gang's intimidation. This was neither the time nor the place to discuss what was actually currently going on in his mind.
"So…ready to meet my gang?" Gokudera asked as they approached the door.
"…you think I'll make it out alive?" Yamamoto questioned back, half-playfully.
"Heh. I'll have your back," Gokudera grinned.
Yamamoto decided to take that response and that grin as, hopefully, a good sign – and hopefully, for both situations – both for him with Dynamite, and for him with Gokudera.
Lancia's place, 3.26pm
The Dynamites were…unique, for a lack of better word.
Yamamoto used to think that Gokudera stood out a lot as an individual – he thought the way Gokudera dressed and acted made it obvious that he was a color gang member. That mentality changed when he first met Skull – who was even more visually obvious. But after meeting all of the leading Dynamite members today, his viewpoint of people who really looked the part changed once again.
The first person he met was M.M., who had fiery red hair cut in a slick bob with contrastingly bright violet eyes. She was playing a clarinet of some sort on the sofa, and she was wearing a mini-skirt so short that Yamamoto felt inclined to look away every time she moved her legs. She wore her red scarf around her thigh, and had an incredibly bold, confident and loud personality.
Yamamoto met Spanner – who Gokudera introduced as his closest friend in the gang. Spanner had bright platinum blonde hair curled in the most peculiar way, with a large tattoo on the curve of his neck, and a lollipop permanently caught in between his lips. His red scarf was half-tucked in his belt. The mechanic was lying by the laptop on the carpet floor with another boy named Irie Shouichi, who had messy orangey red hair and wore thick-framed glasses. Immediately, Yamamoto could tell that they were dating. Spanner was not at all being secretive about it, judging from the way he leant over and kissed Shouichi gently on the cheeks, on the tip of his nose, on his forehead, on his neck, and even on his lips every now and again.
Then finally, Yamamoto met the boss of the Dynamite gang – Lancia, along with his sister, Lal. At that point, Yamamoto understood why Gokudera warned him earlier not to stare. Lal had a gruesome burn-scar beneath her right eye on her cheek, whilst Lancia had large triangular tattoos creeping up both cheeks from his jaw line. Lal wore her scarf around her neck, whilst Lancia wore his on his head. Both of them had a fierce and intimidating aura about them – an aura of power and strength. Even without introductions, Yamamoto could tell right away that they held the most control in the entire gang.
After Yamamoto had met everyone, he joined in the little pizza circle that was only beginning to form.
"So – I've actually heard of you before, 'ya know," M.M. poked at Yamamoto's ribs as she nibbled on her slice of pizza.
"Oh, you did?" Yamamoto was surprised.
"Yup. From Mukuro-sama. He said that you're the ace on the Nami High baseball team and that you're a good friend – you know, trustworthy, honest…all that crap," M.M. explained, speaking in an over-exaggerated tone when she described the baseball player.
Yamamoto smiled dryly as he thanked her, feeling rather far from 'trustworthy' and 'honest' with the way he'd been cheating on Hibari with Gokudera.
"Okay, so I'm just gonna cut it straight to the curb," M.M. sat up straight and pointed right at Yamamoto's face with her clarinet, "Do you want to join Dynamite?"
"Eh…?" Yamamoto had no clue where that one came from.
M.M. shrugged, "Mukuro-sama told me you have good senses – and he doesn't say that about everyone. Plus, you've got the appropriate build."
At that point, Spanner popped his lollipop out of his mouth and added, "Yeah. You've got a pretty decent form; nicely toned arms, good body mass, good body proportion, long legs…"
Yamamoto felt rather awkward with Spanner looking him up and down with those calculating eyes – it was as though Spanner viewed him as a machine that he was trying to figure out its functioning methods. "Um… thanks?"
"Spanner, it's kinda rude to analyze people like that," Shouichi whispered to the blonde.
"Oh. Is that so?" Spanner innocently turned towards Yamamoto and gave him a little nod, "Sorry."
"Ah, it's okay," Yamamoto replied with an awkward smile.
"So! What do you say, hot shot? Do you wanna try joining us?" M.M. repeated, now smacking Yamamoto in the abs with her clarinet.
Yamamoto smiled dryly, "Ah, thanks, but I'm not-"
M.M. interrupted him with another poke, "Don't you dare refuse! This is a direct demand from-"
"Oh, give it up M.M., he's not joining. Baseball idiots should just continue playing baseball like typical baseball idiots," Gokudera cut her off.
"Tch," M.M. clicked her tongue, dissatisfied. "Whatever, Smoking Bomb. Go ahead and ruin every chance of me getting a cute little jock on our team."
Then, M.M. stood up and walked out of the room with a careless attitude. Gokudera rolled his eyes at her before he bent over and took a large bite out of Yamamoto's pizza. Yamamoto raised his eyebrows at him.
Gokudera raised an eyebrow back, "What? You've got a problem?"
Yamamoto shook his head, chuckling, "No… not at all."
"I thought so," Gokudera smirked before he took another bite from Yamamoto's slice.
"You can have the whole thing if you want," Yamamoto said, amused.
"Nah. Stealing it is part of the fun," Gokudera replied and tried to take another bite, but this time, Yamamoto pulled the pizza away before he could. Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto, feigning shock, "What's this? You're challenging me, baseball freak? In my territory?"
Yamamoto shrugged with a smile, holding the pizza away from Gokudera, "Just adding to the fun. You know…unless you want to just give in and ask for it."
"Ha. As if," Gokudera said before he lunged for the pizza, fully jumping on top of Yamamoto and snatching the pizza and stuffing it down right away. "There!" Gokudera spoke victoriously, still half-chewing, "Easy win."
Yamamoto laughed, "Okay, okay, you win."
Gokudera let out a 'hmph' or triumph as he swallowed down the pizza, before all of a sudden, he realized what position he and Yamamoto was in. That was, him on top of Yamamoto with their faces mere inches apart. Yamamoto seemed to have noticed this as well – and he paused as he watched Gokudera and waited to see what the silvernette would do.
Quickly, Gokudera got off Yamamoto, sat up, and regained himself. Yamamoto hid a sigh.
Spanner observed the small session between Yamamoto and Gokudera in an analytical way before he whispered something to Shouichi. The megane boy nodded as though in agreement before he turned to whisper something back.
Gokudera noticed, and nudged Spanner with his foot, "Oi, oi. The fuck are you two crazy-ass mechanics gossiping about?"
"Nothing," Spanner answered instantly, putting on a blank look. Shouichi, on the other hand, looked down on the carpet floor – hiding his face.
Gokudera frowned at them, "You two suck at lying."
"What? What lying? Who's lying?" Spanner was still trying to fake it.
Gokudera rolled his eyes and jabbed Spanner in the ribs with his foot. Spanner responded by grabbing on to Gokudera's ankle and yanking him, causing Gokudera to fall flat on his back.
"Jerk," Gokudera said, picking himself back up with a smirk.
"Right back at you," Spanner retorted, momentarily sticking out his tongue, before he returned to sucking on his lollipop, grinning satisfactorily.
Yamamoto and Shouichi laughed lightly at their little juvenile fight.
"Really, Spanner…" Shouichi spoke with a smile, playfully tugging on Spanner's lollipop.
Spanner eyed his lover, edging closer to him, a spark behind those dark orbs, "Hm?"
Shouichi shook his head, tapping a finger on the other mechanic's nose, "So immature."
"Oh, is that so?" Spanner spoke with a teasing smile. Then, he pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and as a replacement of the candy he leaned over and pressed his lips to Shouichi's. The megane returned the kiss with a shy smile, a tint of red flushing from his cheeks to his ears. Spanner chuckled into the kiss, as he raised his fingers to toy with the other's messy red hair.
Yamamoto tried hard not to stare at the display of affection before him, but he found himself stealing quick glances all the same. Gokudera, on the other hand, was completely unaffected by the scene. In fact, the silvernette seemed rather used to it – bored by it, even.
As soon as the kiss was over, Gokudera rolled his eyes at the two young engineers, "Oh, seriously, get a fucking room."
"There's no need to be jealous," Spanner said neutrally, before he just as neutrally added, "You can always get your own room with Yamamoto-kun."
The line was so unexpected it choked both Gokudera and Yamamoto simultaneously.
…how the hell did he know?
"What the hell are you talking about?" Gokudera tried to keep a cool voice, but his face betrayed all that with the fierce blush it was harboring. Meanwhile, Yamamoto concentrated his focus on the carpet patterns – trying to urge away the obvious heat in his face.
"Really? You're really going to play that act?" Spanner scoffed, partially amused by the two's reactions, "You know I know you better than to fall for it."
"But…how?" Gokudera was in a complete lost for words. It was one thing to accept his forbidden affair with Yamamoto – it was another thing altogether for one of his closest friends to find out about it.
"Vibes," Spanner shrugged, coolly resting his head on Shouichi's shoulder.
Gokudera looked at Shouichi, exasperated, "…you knew too?"
Shouichi nodded, "Ah… yeah, you can kinda tell."
Yamamoto and Gokudera exchanged a look. Were they really that obvious?
In that moment, Yamamoto finally began to realize that it wasn't easy hiding something as major as a relationship with a person. If Spanner and Shouichi managed to figure it out in mere minutes of being in their presence, then there was no doubt that Hibari would know immediately were he to see them together. After all, Hibari was as sharp as one can be – he wasn't the school's most feared and respected head prefect for nothing – and the high probability of Hibari finding out about him and Gokudera scared him.
Hibari's cold wrath alone was frightening enough, but even more so, Yamamoto feared that he would lose the Skylark altogether. Unlike Gokudera, Hibari had no idea that Yamamoto had more than one intimate relationship – and unlike Gokudera, Yamamoto doubted that Hibari would've patiently dealt with the matter. The minute Hibari found out about the affair, he would most certainly leave – and after two years of longing after him and finally having him in his arms, Yamamoto wasn't about to let him go.
But then again, looking at the silvernette who sat beside him – a red hue still spread over his pale complexion – Yamamoto knew he wasn't about to let Gokudera go, either.
Yamamoto exhaled deeply, a sickening feeling beginning to form in his stomach. The feeling was almost akin to a creature – a tiny, creepy little thing living inside of him, growing bigger, heavier and stronger as time went on. It was a feeling he was starting to recognize, in time, as 'guilt' – and it was eating him up more and more each day as it accumulates.
Yamamoto was, by nature, a genuinely good person – he was not at all used to handling such things as guilt, especially not one of this degree, where his wrongdoings concerned others' feelings as well. Acknowledging the fact that he was causing pain to the two people he greatly cared for in his life raised a sick, sick feeling sinking within his gut. Guilt felt disgusting. Yamamoto didn't know how long he had left before the little creature will finally get to him and tear his heart into two – or worse, shred it until nothing was left of him at all.
He wished he could keep them both, but he knew he couldn't. He wished he could choose between them, but he couldn't do that either.
If only wishes were answered that easily.
Lancia's place, 5.28pm
Gokudera stood by the doorway of Lancia's house as he watched Yamamoto pull out his motorcycle from the garage, preparing to leave. So far, the day had gone well between Yamamoto and the Dynamite members. Lancia and Lal approved of him, M.M. and Skull liked him, and Spanner was supportive of his relationship with Gokudera. Yamamoto was, by default, the type of person who was just basically 'likeable', so Gokudera had always known that there would be no problem with him fitting in with the Dynamite crew.
On the contrary, things had run not as smoothly between Yamamoto and Gokudera personally.
Gokudera didn't know whether it was the unusual setting or the 'deal' they had agreed to that was doing the trick, but whatever the cause, the result was that things were…awkward, to say the very least, between Yamamoto and Gokudera – and they both sensed it, thus making the situation even more horribly awkward.
In all fairness, Gokudera did understand that it was partly his fault. He was the one who refrained from touching or being in close contact with Yamamoto since the morning. But was he really to blame for doing so? The silvernette had just agreed to being treated like a hidden mistress for one entire month. It was quite a huge blow to his pride, to begin with. Plus, Gokudera was also beginning to realize that he was becoming what M.M. would label as a 'slutty home-wrecker'. The term itself was derogatory enough for Gokudera to flinch, but the meaning of the term was even more cringe-worthy.
Like it or not, Gokudera was a home-wrecker: someone who was intentionally ruining an initially fine relationship between two people by coming in between as the third party. Gokudera couldn't even imagine the fury he would feel if situations were reversed and Hibari was the one butting in on his relationship with Yamamoto.
Therefore, the guilt arrived.
Gokudera never though he would've felt guilty for this affair for he could care less about Hibari's feelings and wellbeing. However, now that he was coming to the realization at what exactly he was attempting to do, he gained some empathy – and in result, guilt. Thus, leading to him avoiding being intimate with Yamamoto at all costs during the entire day.
It wasn't as though he didn't want to touch Yamamoto. Of course, he did. But all of a sudden it just felt wrong, like he was committing some kind of crime.
Oh, the hell is going on with me? Gokudera frowned. Usually, the silvernette would jump at the idea of crime. He was the Smoking Bomb of Dynamite.
Tch. That stupid baseball idiot with his equally stupid morals must've rubbed off on me.
That wouldn't do. Holding back and shying away would do nothing for me. I'm already at a disadvantage with the position I'm in, I can't afford to be playing nice.
I have only one month – I need to make the most of it.
Gokudera nodded approvingly as he came to terms with himself. If you want something, you grab for it.
"Gokudera…?" Yamamoto's voice interrupted his trail of thoughts, and Gokudera's eyes flitted up to see Yamamoto standing by the gate of Lancia's house.
"Ah, one sec," Gokudera mumbled before he reached for the keys Lancia gave him, walking towards the gate and unlocking it. He swung the door open, but just before Yamamoto could go through, Gokudera edged in and stood firmly in his way.
Yamamoto looked confused, "Um, Goku-"
"Shush," Gokudera hushed him, lifting his hand to Yamamoto's lips. Those emerald eyes glanced over Yamamoto's shoulders to make sure no one was near the windows to witness this scene.
Yamamoto was still not quite certain of Gokudera's intentions, but he was hopeful. At least now Gokudera was not avoiding being so close to him. With that thought in mind, he pulled the hand on his lips away, and instead, held it in his own. He almost let out a sigh of relief when Gokudera did not pull away.
Certain that no one was watching, Gokudera turned his attention back to Yamamoto, who was looking back at him curiously. Gokudera leaned closer towards the baseball player, not losing eye contact as he spoke his name, "…Yamamoto."
The voice Gokudera intentionally used sent shivers down Yamamoto's spine. Immediately, Yamamoto could feel the atmosphere between them shifting from awkward to increasingly intimate – and he couldn't deny that he was beyond grateful. Yamamoto responded with a soft hum, "Hm…?"
"Nothing…" Gokudera murmured teasingly as he circled his arms around Yamamoto's neck and inched his body even closer. Those emerald orbs were sparkling with a mischievous gleam fueled by something akin to desire and possession combined.
Yamamoto had never seen anything more tempting. "Gokudera-"
Gokudera silenced him with a kiss that was by far, the most erotic Yamamoto had ever experienced. It was seducing and passionate all at the same time – lips nibbling a tad too gently with occasional tantalizing teases of tongue – Gokudera giving him just enough to keep him wanting more as he pulled away far too soon.
Leaning back on his heels and looking up at Yamamoto, Gokudera playfully whispered, "Making up for today."
Apparently, one kiss wasn't enough to make up for an entire day's lack of intimacy, as Yamamoto pulled Gokudera in for another kiss; this time, a deeper one, fully satisfying each other's desire. Gokudera ran his fingers through Yamamoto's hair, enjoying the way Yamamoto so possessively grabbed his waist and pulled his body closer to his own.
That's right….if you want something, grab it. Snatch it away before it goes out of reach.
Not being close to Yamamoto all day turned out to be not so bad after all. Because right now, Yamamoto wanted him more than ever – so much so that Gokudera could feel his passion and need. The resulting kiss was intense, and Gokudera felt his knees weakening, his body going limp in Yamamoto's arms. Lingering his lips near to Gokudera's, Yamamoto reluctantly broke away from the kiss, leaving them both panting for air.
After their pants returned to almost normal breaths, Yamamoto embraced Gokudera tightly and sighed, "…I'm glad."
Gokudera looked up at him, "Hm?"
"I felt like you were avoiding me before, you know, because of that agreement, and I was worried that you didn't want to do…this anymore," Yamamoto murmured, hugging Gokudera tighter for emphasis.
Gokudera leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulders and replied, "Well, yeah. I did kinda avoid you. It did feel all sorts of awkward before."
"Then what changed your mind?" Yamamoto wanted to know.
"Hm…lots of things," Gokudera mumbled, before he added, "… I guess I decided that I'm not just gonna wait around and waste time whilst you make your decision."
Then, Gokudera leaned backwards to look straight into Yamamoto's eyes as he spoke every word out firm and clear, "I know what I want, and I'll fight for it."
Yamamoto felt his heart tumble and warm at those words and at that intent look in those emerald eyes. To know that Gokudera wanted him and cared for him enough to fight for him…it made Yamamoto feel a huge rush of emotion towards the silvernette.
Yamamoto first fell for Gokudera because of his vulnerability. But now, it seemed as though he was falling for Gokudera's strength as well.
Strong yet vulnerable – that was what had attracted Yamamoto to Hibari in the first place. However, Yamamoto was soon discovering that it was also the same factors that drew him towards Gokudera.
And that would only make it harder for him to choose between them.
Namimori, 6.18pm
Yamamoto arrived back at his house on his motorcycle with thoughts on his newfound aspect of affection for Gokudera still lingering in his mind. The sky was getting darker, going into twilight as night was approaching in a close hour or so. It was one of Yamamoto's favorite times of day – peaceful and calm, with the sounds of birds returning to their nests. But then again, being Yamamoto, he could probably find a reason for any time of day to become his favorite.
Yamamoto parked the motorcycle in the garage and locked it up, before he looked up at the sky, appreciating its darkening tones, wondering if it was about to rain tonight. Apart from baseball, watching the rain was something that Yamamoto enjoyed doing most. He always had loved the fresh smell of rain –before, after and in between – and he liked listening to the comforting sounds of the droplets hitting against his roof, liked seeing them roll down his window. The feel of rain itself was also refreshing, and always managed to clear his mind.
The baseball player stretched his arms high into the air and yawned tiredly as he walked over to lock up the gates – only to be met by a familiar figure standing there.
The person was wearing a long-sleeved black t-shirt that clung to his petite body and contrasted well with his pale skin, along with dark jeans that accentuated his long, slim legs. His hair looked as soft and dark as Yamamoto remembered it to be, and that face still had on that permanent stoic expression that Yamamoto had come to adore.
"Hibari…" Yamamoto's face split into a wide smile, his hearting doing a little flip-drop at seeing his lover's face.
"Hey…" Hibari's lips curved into the barest hint of a smile of his own. He did miss Yamamoto, despite his head being filled with thoughts of a certain Italian these past few days. He missed Yamamoto's smile that always seemed to brighten up everyone's day, he missed the warmth of Yamamoto's touch, and he missed the comforting feeling he always felt whenever he's with Yamamoto.
Yamamoto didn't hesitate at all to rush over and take Hibari into his arms, hugging the Skylark close against him, and in return, Hibari wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's back. Hibari's scent filled up Yamamoto immediately – that faintly sweet smell that reminded him of Sakura blossoms – and Yamamoto nuzzled Hibari's neck, taking in more of the prefect's irresistible essence.
Hibari, on the other hand, cringed slightly when he noticed the faint smell of cigarette on Yamamoto, but decided to say nothing of it and instead absorb himself into Yamamoto's much missed warm embrace.
Yamamoto sighed contentedly, hugging Hibari tighter, "I missed you so much."
Hibari leaned his head on Yamamoto's neck and murmured quietly, "I know. I do, too."
Yamamoto pressed a long, lingering kiss on Hibari's cheek before he went back to embracing the Skylark and nuzzling his pale, warm neck once more. Hibari melted into Yamamoto's touch, letting Yamamoto drown away all thoughts of another man who he did not, at all, want to think about. He was back in Namimori now, back in Yamamoto's arms, and he was exactly where he wanted to be. This was exactly what he needed – the feeling of how much he missed Yamamoto, and the comfort of being held by him.
As for Yamamoto, seeing Hibari once again sent a tidal wave of emotions crashing at him. He thought he missed the prefect before just by hearing his voice, but having Hibari in his arms now really proved to him the extent of how much he longed for the Skylark. Seeing and feeling Hibari solid in his arms reminded him of why he fell for him in the first place. Yamamoto might've forgotten particular parts of that in the past few days, but now that Hibari was back, so were all of his feelings – restored, and firmly back in place; maybe stronger now, even.
Holding Hibari in his arms, Yamamoto could never imagine letting him go. Not now, not ever.
But at the back of his mind, Yamamoto knew full well that if it were Gokudera who was in his arms at this moment, his thoughts would be no different.
Hibari was back, and decision making seemed to grow more impossibly difficult by the second.
And the clock was still ticking on.
A/N: So… 8018 is back! :D Hehe, I missed writing Yamamoto and Hibari together. Be prepared to see much more of them from now on, along with 8059 as well of course. And maayyybe D18 – I'll keep you guessing! ;) This story is on a roll~
Sorry for taking so long on this chapter! And as always, your support and reviews are absolutely wonderful~ ;D