Disclaimers: Don't own KHR or its characters.
Warnings: fluff, swearing, and a lot of kissing ;)
Beta'ed by AmbiguousThoughts – me hearts you!*cuddles*
B/N: …MeLoNnAiSE has now officially stolen my line. Okay.
8.18pm
It did rain after all.
Not heavy rain, like those in thunderstorms and such, but rain nonetheless – and Yamamoto was grateful. Not only because of his appreciation for the weather itself, but because the sudden downpour contributed to Hibari's agreement to staying the night. After all, Hibari was a much disciplined person, and he wouldn't bother the Yamamoto household for no good reason.
Tsuyoshi, Yamamoto's father, warmly welcomed the young Skylark without hesitation. Hibari couldn't stop comparing the good-willed man to the cold-hearted person he called his father. Kaien Hibari would never have allowed strangers of 'unknown social status' to sleep on his ground, let alone without being told beforehand. The thought only caused Hibari's disgust of his father to grow. Frankly, the Skylark was glad he could stay over at Yamamoto's tonight. He felt so much more at peace here than at his own superficial home – and he needed peace after what he'd gone through with his ex-lover.
Hibari stood still in the shower, letting the water wash him down thoroughly from head to toe, wishing that it would wash away thoughts of a certain blonde Italian man as well. He blamed it on the fact that it had been first love, and hence, such intensity of emotions. To a certain extent, he did feel those emotions for Yamamoto – and Yamamoto was the only one who managed to make him forget about Dino when they were together. But it wasn't the same – not just yet. That being said, Hibari saw that if he let his guard down, maybe it could eventually be the same.
Stepping out of the shower, Hibari wiped himself dry before he pulled on Yamamoto's clothes. The sweatpants hung loose on his slim waist, and the white t-shirt was obviously a size too big for him. But the clothes had Yamamoto's scent on it – that refreshing scent of soap – and Hibari found that he couldn't care less that they were just a little too big.
Hibari walked out of the bathroom to see Yamamoto sorting out the extra pillows on the bed. Yamamoto had already finished showering before him in his father's bathroom, and the scent that clung to him was the same scent as the clothes Hibari wore.
Yamamoto looked up at Hibari when he heard him shut the bathroom door, before a faint smile spread over his face. Hibari looked rather adorable with the clothes hanging loose on his body and his dark hair still dripping wet.
Always practical, Yamamoto stood up and grabbed a small towel from the shelf before he walked over to Hibari and started gently drying the prefect's hair. Surprisingly enough, Hibari stood still and allowed Yamamoto to go through with it until his hair was left only slightly damp.
"There," Yamamoto murmured with a smile as he wiped Hibari's hair once more and draped the small towel around Hibari's shoulder.
Hibari looked up at Yamamoto with his dark, sharp eyes that seemed to soften whenever they set on Yamamoto. The look was intense and meaningful, implying things that leaned more towards the intimate side of his nature.
Yamamoto could read into Hibari's eyes without having to try. He knew what Hibari wanted – and he knew it was what he wanted as well – but he only settled for a smooth caress of Hibari's soft cheek with the back of his hand. Standing in his bedroom with Hibari reminded Yamamoto too much of all those times he spent in this very room with Gokudera – and he felt too guilty to jump straight into intimacy with another person.
However, unlike Yamamoto, Hibari was not aware of the situation. Nor was he patient.
Without warning, the Skylark stretched up and planted a quick kiss on Yamamoto's lips. Fast enough to shock him, and short enough to be dissatisfying.
"Too slow," Hibari murmured into Yamamoto's ear, before he backed away.
That peck and Hibari's voice was enough encouragement for Yamamoto – and he proved this as he pulled Hibari right back into his arms and kissed him deeply, slanting his lips against Hibari's. The Skylark challengingly met Yamamoto's tongue with his own.
It was a battle for dominance, as though the two were competing as to who missed the other's taste more through their passionate kisses. Yamamoto pressed Hibari's torso against his own as he tilted the prefect and ran his hand up his spine. Hibari clung onto Yamamoto's shoulders, one hand massaging the back of Yamamoto's neck as he sucked on Yamamoto's bottom lip.
Yamamoto hummed with approval, before he slipped one hand up underneath Hibari's shirt and ran his fingertips up Hibari's back, appreciating the feel of smooth, supple skin beneath his touch. His lips fully captured Hibari's once more, gliding his tongue into Hibari's mouth as his hand worked its way to Hibari's front. That hand circled around Hibari's nipple before Yamamoto tweaked the perky nub with his fingers, causing Hibari to let out a faint gasp.
Yamamoto took that response as a good sign, and he lapped at Hibari's lower lip once before he moved in to suck on Hibari's tongue. The Skylark pressed his body closer to Yamamoto, grabbing tighter on Yamamoto's shoulders. The need to feel the other was overpowering. During yet another passion-filled kiss, Yamamoto moved the hand that was previously supporting Hibari's slim waist down to Hibari's butt before he daringly grabbed on the firm flesh.
To his pleasant surprise, the Skylark emitted a low, breathy moan that only further fueled Yamamoto's desire. Hastily, Yamamoto stretched down the collar of Hibari's shirt before he leaned over and sucked aggressively on that pale, sensitive skin where the neck joined the shoulder. That sweet Sakura blossom smell filled Yamamoto's senses once again, and a possessive streak took over as Yamamoto bit down harshly on that delicate flesh.
"Yamamoto…," Hibari raggedly breathed before he whimpered quietly as Yamamoto sunk his teeth deeper into his flesh and sucked harder on that skin. Yamamoto was breathing hard against his neck, and Hibari felt himself tremble in mixed pain and pleasure.
It took a moment before Yamamoto let go of Hibari's neck and transferred his lips back to kissing the Skylark, this time, gentler and softer as though to make up for the pain recently caused. Then, Yamamoto leaned back slightly and peppered a few apologetic kisses on Hibari's cheek and jawline.
"Damn, I missed kissing you," Yamamoto whispered as he took Hibari into a warm embrace.
"Hn…," Hibari breathed, rather speechless after their recent session. Yamamoto had never been quite that passionate and daring with him before, and Hibari decided he rather liked that surprising streak in the ever-so-gentle baseball player.
Yamamoto trailed his fingers down to Hibari's neck and circled the area that was already showing up a deep, dark bruise – the love bite made clearer by the paleness of Hibari's skin. Yamamoto planted a soft kiss on Hibari's forehead. "Sorry if I bit you a little too hard…"
Hibari shook his head, his face still hot. "It's fine."
Yamamoto sighed, holding Hibari close in the fold of his arms. He never doubted the magnitude of his feelings for Hibari. But, after not seeing him and not being in contact with him for so long, it seemed as though his emotions were coming on much stronger than before.
So strong that it may even be…
The realization that dawned on Yamamoto caused his eyes to widen. He leaned back to stare at Hibari's face – into those eagle-like, deep, dark orbs.
Hibari watched him curiously. "What is it?"
Yamamoto brushed a damp strand of hair away from Hibari's face, looking at him, taking everything of him in. It was like the first time Yamamoto had seen Hibari – so fierce, so beautiful and yet so gentle, calm and vulnerable… A bird in full flight – a Skylark. His Skylark.
The intent gaze Yamamoto held on him caused Hibari to blush. The way Yamamoto looked at him – with such awe, such care, and such…feelings – it made his heart twinge at the very core.
Tracing his fingertips down to Hibari's chin and smoothing Hibari's cheek with his thumb, Yamamoto leant in and kissed him. It was gentle, slow, soft, and ever so sweet. Yamamoto handled Hibari's face with both hands, fingertips only gracing that skin with feather-like touches. The kiss alone was a confession whispered right into his soul.
It left Hibari breathless.
And as Yamamoto pulled back and saw Hibari looking back at him with a look in his eyes that reflected his own moments ago, Yamamoto knew.
He was in love with Hibari Kyouya.
10.04am
Hibari's heart was still beating fast, even though Yamamoto had already drove off a while ago.
The Skylark told Yamamoto to drop him off quite far from his house, because the last time Yamamoto sent him off at the front door, it ended up in quite an embarrassing encounter involving Kusakabe, his most trustworthy companion, witnessing a make out session between him and Yamamoto. Not exactly the best of experiences.
Last night, on the contrary, was.
After that breathtaking kiss, they fell asleep in each other's arms, Yamamoto continuously planting soft kisses all over Hibari. It felt like the perfect lullaby.
Hibari could tell that something was different about Yamamoto. The way Yamamoto looked at him now always managed to cause his heart to react. Those deep chocolate brown eyes Hibari always found himself melting in were now even softer and sweeter than before, and held more intensity. Hibari knew that look. It was the look he used to have in his own eyes when he looked at a certain man. He remembered the way that man will look at him in return with the exact same – perhaps even more intense – loving gaze.
Before Yamamoto left him to walk back to his house, Yamamoto had kissed Hibari with another one of those heartwarming kisses reserved for only the most intimate of lovers. Just thinking about it made Hibari's heart churn pleasantly in his chest.
But as soon as Hibari saw the person standing in front of his house, his heart churned in a completely different way.
…why is he here?
Hibari was about to turn back and walk away, but the other had already seen him.
"Kyouya!" And there came the voice which managed to affect him every single time. The deep, warm voice that belonged to the only person unrelated to him who called him by his first name.
Hibari sped up, but it was too late. The person had already caught up with him and took a grip on his wrist.
"Let go, Dino," Hibari spoke sharply without turning around to look at him. He couldn't bear to. Already, he was filled with a painful gut feeling just by being in his presence.
Dino ignored him. "You weren't home last night."
Hibari clenched his fist, avoiding thoughts that Dino might have been waiting for him since last night – the guy was that sort of fool. Hibari had to force himself not to care. "That has nothing to do with you."
"I won't let you go until you look at me and talk to me." Dino's grip on Hibari's wrist was persistent, but the tone of his voice hid a plea.
That hidden plea was heard by Hibari, and he hated the way he was still bothered by it.
This is not supposed to happen. He's not even supposed to be here.
Harshly, the Skylark turned around to face Dino with hardened eyes. He spoke loud and clear, "Fine. I was at my lover's house. Satisfied? Now let go."
Dino didn't let go. Bitter silence fell between them. Dino tried to look into Hibari's eyes, but the prefect avoided eye contact at all costs. The situation was hurting both of them. Even now, Hibari recognized the warmth from those long fingers that so firmly gripped onto him.
All of a sudden, however, the grip grew painfully tighter.
"…love bite," Dino spoke under his breath, as though trying to contain himself. "You have a love bite."
Immediately, Hibari raised his free hand to cover the area on his neck that Yamamoto so severely left a mark on yesterday night. He thought the neckline of his shirt covered it well, but apparently, it was not well enough for Dino's sharp eyes. The Skylark's face grew hot. He tried to jerk his other hand away from Dino, but Dino refused to let go.
"…did you let him do it, Kyouya?" Dino asked in a tight voice, trying his hardest to control the anger and jealousy that was boiling furiously within him.
"What?" Hibari frowned at him, not understanding what Dino was getting at. It was harder when he avoided meeting his eyes. Once upon a time, even without words, just one look in those eyes and Hibari would understand everything – absolutely everything.
Dino, frustrated, hissed through gritted teeth, "Did you have sex with him?"
Hibari was enraged. How dare he? After all Dino did to him, how dare he come back and stand in front of him demanding answers about his personal life – a life that no longer included him since he was the one who decided to easily up and drop out of it a year ago.
Hibari glared at Dino, then. His words were coated with spite when he spoke, "So what if I did?"
That was it. That was crossing the line for Dino.
Seeing the deep purple bruise that was so obviously a bite mark on Hibari's neck was bad enough. But hearing from the Skylark's mouth that he slept with someone else? The image was too much. Dino couldn't take it. He couldn't take the fact that his Skylark was held by somebody else, kissed by somebody else, taken by somebody else…
Vicious jealousy took over, and before Hibari knew it, Dino had pulled him into his arms and the blonde's lips were violently forced upon his own. Hibari's heart jolted painfully at the long-lost sensation. But before Dino's tongue could explore his mouth, Hibari used all the strength that he could muster to push him away. The Skylark raised the back of his hand to rub his lips and rid it of the taste of Dino before he threw a full-force punch at the blonde.
Much to his shock, however, Dino effortlessly caught the punch in his palms. Those caramel brown eyes of Dino's watched Hibari's eyes widened. He explained, "I'm not as weak as I used to be."
Dino didn't waste another second of breath before he forced yet another aggressive kiss on Hibari. Teeth clashing against teeth and tongue battling against tongue – there was nothing gentle about it, and yet all the more ardent. This time, Dino made sure to lock Hibari's arms securely behind his back as he continued to ravage those lips he used to claim as his own – the very same lips he was now attempting to claim once again.
Hibari despised the fact that he remembered the taste and the way Dino kissed – the precise angle that those sinful lips and tongue moved against his own. He hated the familiar feeling of being held so close and so tightly in Dino's arm – hated the warmth, hated how Dino's breath baited his tongue. He hated how Dino knew the exact way to put down his barriers – and he hated how he was still vulnerable to the methods that had got to him time and time again. But more than anything, he hated the way he missed Dino's kiss and longed for it so desperately that he couldn't help but respond.
Soon enough, the kiss altered its tone from aggressive possession to passionate longing. The kisses were deep, tongue-sucking, lip-nibbling, breath-stealing ones that made Hibari's knees lose its hold entirely. But Dino had him firm in his arms as he continued to kiss the life out of Hibari – kissing him as though he was making up for a year's worth of kisses.
Hibari was left panting, weakly shaking his head. "No…don't…"
Don't do this.
Not when I just learned how to live without you.
Not when I finally thought I could fall in love with someone else.
Dino didn't listen. Instead, he moved in for another fervent kiss, to which Hibari couldn't help but return. This was the kiss that was first taught to him. This was the kiss that he became accustomed to – so much so that any other kiss from any other person never felt as right. This was the kiss that he could never resist.
For this was the man he used to love with all of his heart.
Hibari could almost vision the walls around him crumbling when Dino released his hands in order to hold him nearer and to press his body even impossibly closer to his own. With a lurch of his heart, Hibari noticed that Dino's fingers were trembling – as though he was afraid that Hibari would slip right out of his grasp if he held him too loosely, or that Hibari would shatter right in his hands if he clutched him too tightly.
Dino leaned over and kissed Hibari softly on the hollow spot behind his ear – the spot that only he knew how sensitive it was. Hibari shivered despite himself.
No. I can't go back there. Not now, not anymore.
With that thought, Hibari roughly shoved Dino off him before the Skylark rushed away, escaping into the confines of his house, slamming the door shut behind him, not giving Dino any chance to follow him inside. At least the physical walls wouldn't crack as easily as the walls he that had built around his heart.
Leaning his back against the door, knees weak, Hibari sighed, raising his hand to clutch his madly pulsing chest. His heart and lips were burning. Hibari did not know what to do.
…why now?
Why did you have to come back now?
11.26am
Yamamoto was torn.
Only a mere hour ago, his head was caught in the clouds, elated by his newfound feelings for Hibari. It was as though his world was colored by an entirely different shade – filled with vibrant, optimistic tones. Everything seemed perfect, and Yamamoto had felt like the luckiest guy on earth when he kissed Hibari goodbye as he sent him off.
But soon after he parted with the prefect, reality dawned on him.
He was in love with Hibari – and yet he still couldn't let Gokudera go.
What was that even supposed to mean, anyway? Yamamoto had thought that if he developed enough feelings for one person, it would consequently eliminate all of his longing and lingering for the other. However, that did not appear to be the case.
The case, in fact, seemed to be that whenever Yamamoto was with either Gokudera or Hibari, he came to the realization that he felt too much for them to let them go. When he was with Gokudera the feelings leaned towards the silvernette. Unfortunately, likewise, when he was with Hibari his feelings swayed back towards the Skylark. It was an impossible situation.
An impossibly selfish one, Yamamoto thought, sighing.
Pushing all thoughts of Hibari and Gokudera away from his head, Yamamoto dismounted his motorcycle and fished out the packaged sushi-delivery for this particular house. Yamamoto had been running these deliveries for his father ever since he learnt how to ride, and he had grown accustomed to the job – delivering becoming part of his routine.
As Yamamoto walked towards the door of the client's house, he noticed that this sushi order was larger than most. There were eight bags in total, each bag containing at least five boxes of sushi. Yamamoto did the calculations in his head – that totaled up to at least forty boxes.
Wow. This family must be really big… That or they really must like sushi, Yamamoto thought, pressing down on the door buzzer with his elbow; for his hands were more than occupied.
No one came to answer. Yamamoto elbowed the buzzer again. And again.
Still no answer.
Then, Yamamoto noticed at the corner of his eyes that the door gates were not locked. Perhaps the customer preferred him to walk right in? It wasn't unusual – the regular customers were more than happy to allow Yamamoto to let himself in. But then again, Yamamoto didn't recognize this house as particularly familiar.
After a moment of considering and elbowing the buzzer one more time – surprise, surprise: still no reply – Yamamoto decided he would take the initiative to walk in by himself. After all, what could be the worst that could possibly happen?
But what Yamamoto didn't deduce was that this house belonged to a color gang – and a rather violent one at that. Precisely, it was the Varia Headquarters – the very Varia that was arch nemesis to Dynamite, the gang which Gokudera belonged to.
11.26am
"Nnh- enough…"
"One more time…"
"No, moron-senpai, you already- mm…"
Fran didn't really know what he was doing. To be honest, throughout his lifetime, he never quite knew. For Fran, life was a bore – a dumb process he had to go through for the sake of it. School, traveling, training, running errands… It was all uselessly dumb to Fran. Nothing seemed to ever move him, and life as a whole was a numbing experience. Fran never really understood the meaning to his existence, why he was where he was.
That being said, right now, Fran really was quite confused as to why he was there. 'There' – as in, standing with his back against the fridge with a certain prince's arms wrapped possessively around him, lips locked on his own.
Well, he did sort of know how it happened. It started with a stupid agreement over the phone on one expedition night. Bel sort-of dared Fran to kiss him, and Fran, being Fran, sort-of agreed. Their first kiss was shared at the back of the Varia headquarters and it was, unexpectedly, an exceptionally erotic kiss. This led them on. One kiss became two kisses, then three, and four, and more.
Nowadays, it seemed as though whenever they were alone, Bel's tongue would be pleasantly occupying Fran's mouth – Fran's body constantly pressed up against something; a sofa, a table, a bed…or in today's case, a fridge.
"Hah…!" Fran gasped when all of a sudden, Bel picked up his legs and forced them around his torso. Fran instinctively clung onto Bel's shoulders to prevent falling. The position pressed them even closer than before, and as Bel pushed Fran against the fridge and started sucking on his neck, Fran felt his heart racing.
This…is different.
Bel began moving his hips against Fran, backwards and forwards, grinding two very sensitive and apparently very hard regions of their bodies together. Fran trembled. "Ah… Senpai…?"
"Shh… Be quiet, Froggy," Bel murmured before he kissed Fran again, erotically exploring his mouth with his expert tongue.
Fran responded to the kiss, as he always did, but maybe this time just a tad more enthusiastically. Today's kiss with Bel was different from the usual. It was rawer, hotter, a lot more intense and way more arousing than it ever was before.
Bel always managed to do this to him – constantly changing his life routine. Just when Fran thought he had settled down in life at Namimori as a spy for Dynamite in Varia, Bel traipsed in and messed with it by adding in a daily pattern of kisses. And just when Fran finally thought he had gotten used to that, the prince had to jumble it up again by amplifying it to something… Something that was somewhat more than just kissing.
What were they, really? Fran never really bothered to give it enough time or enough thought to figure it out. They weren't just colleagues, definitely, and at times they were each other's worst enemies. But, in other times they shared kisses far more lustful than necessarily required for their particular deal. Were they – what was that word… - friends with benefits? Was that what they were?
"Senpai," Fran murmured, gripping Bel's shoulders warningly when Bel started sucking on regions of his neck a little too low. Those long fingers had dragged down the collar of Fran's t-shirt and Bel latched his mouth down on Fran's pale skin at the area lower down from his collar bone.
"Hm…?" Bel hummed innocently as he lapped at the darkly bruised spot, lingering on Fran's skin with the tip of his tongue.
"Don't just 'hm?' me… nnh- impossible moronic fake-prince…" Fran managed to slip in an insult. He always did – it was in his nature.
"That's not cute at all," Bel mumbled. Then, as though hit with a sudden inspiration, the prince quickly spun Fran around and laid him down on the kitchen table. His own body followed immediately afterwards, lying on top of his kouhai and allowing Fran no means of escape.
Fran stared up at him, confused by this new position he was put in.
Bel smirked. "You can be quite adorable like this, Froggy. You know, when you shut-"
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
There was a knock and a voice at the door. "Uh, excuse me? Oh! Uh, sorry! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to...um..."
Bel narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to one side, before he called out, "Yamamoto Takeshi?"
"Eh? Oh... Bel!" Yamamoto was flustered. His cheeks were red and he had an embarrassed-look on his face. At first he thought he had walked in on two complete strangers making out in the kitchen – but now that he realized it was Belphegor, who traipsed around the world without care, Yamamoto felt slightly better.
"What are you doing here?" Bel asked him curiously. Then, he stood upright and added with a bright smile. "Or have you decided to finally join Varia? Squalo will be thrilled!"
"Oh, no, um... I'm just delivering sushi," Yamamoto explained, holding up the two large bags of sushi boxes.
"Pity," Bel said, before he motioned over to the kitchen table Fran's body didn't occupy. "Just put the food there then."
"Alright." Yamamoto walked into the room, still feeling just a bit awkward, and set the bags on the table. "I didn't know you lived here."
"Ushishi... Don't be silly, the prince lives in a palace, obviously," Bel snickered. "This is the Varia base – belongs to the boss."
"Ah, of course." Yamamoto nodded. That was the way things worked in Dynamite as well.
Fran, who was still lying on the table beneath Bel's hold, protested in monotone, "Hello? I'm still here if you haven't noticed. Can you just shut up for a moment and get off me already, moron-senpai?"
Bel let go of the kouhai, who quickly sat up and hopped off the table. The prince shook his head. "So un-cute, Froggy, so un-cute..."
"As if I care what you think of me, you idiotic prince," Fran mumbled, adjusting his clothes.
"Hey..." Yamamoto looked at Fran, "...I've seen you before. You're a Nami High student, right?"
Fran nodded. "Freshman."
"The frog's the newest Varia member – unfortunately," Bel added with a sharp smile.
Fran gave the prince a long, blank stare. The prince found this surprising. He had expected Fran to throw some insults right back at him. But before the prince could mention this, the youngest member of Varia had already exited the kitchen. As Fran walked past Yamamoto, he mumbled in monotone, "Excuse me."
Bel snickered as he watched Fran leave, "Ushishi... Weird little frog, isn't he?"
Yamamoto smiled dryly, not knowing how to respond when the phrase came from one of the strangest people he had ever met. Thus, Yamamoto resorted to the typical phrase he used whenever he didn't know how to continue chit-chat with his customers, "Do you want to pay now or later at the restaurant?"
"Of course the prince can pay immediately," Bel said, pulling out his wallet. As Bel fumbled for the right amount of money, he said, completely out of the blue, "So how are things going with the head prefect?"
"Oh, um... We're good, thanks," Yamamoto replied.
"Heh. It must be hard dating two people at the same time, ne?" Bel said, before he handed a sum of money over to Yamamoto. "There you go."
Yamamoto stared at Bel with a dumbfounded expression. "Wait, what...?"
"Hm? Did the prince give you the wrong amount?" Bel leaned his head to one side.
"No, that's not it...," Yamamoto said, finally taking the money from Bel, before he continued, "I mean, what you said before..."
"Oh. That," Bel said, as if it was an insignificant issue. Maybe to him it really was. "Why? Aren't you dating the Smoking Bomb of Dynamite?"
Yamamoto blinked at him in disbelief, "How did you...?"
"Because the prince is a genius," Bel replied immediately with a cheeky grin. "I saw the signs and just sort of linked it all together – like wires and knives, ushishi... But really, Yamamoto, the prince didn't expect that of your character at all. To think that such a seemingly warm, kindhearted person would cheat! Guess you really can't take people at face value, ne?"
"Uh...yeah, about that...," Yamamoto mumbled, "I'm actually in the middle of trying to figure things out. It's impossible."
Bel nodded, casually opening a bag of chips, "Of course it is. That Hibari Kyouya is quite attractive, and so is Smoking Bomb, if the prince does say so himself."
"Ah, it's not just that...," Yamamoto said, trailing off in his thoughts. He wondered whether Bel could give him any advice, seeing as the prince already knew and was actually the only outsider who knew. Yamamoto decided to try his luck. "Hey, Bel, can I ask you something?"
The prince nodded, popping a piece of potato chip into his mouth. "Sure."
Yamamoto took a breath. "If you were in my situation... How would you decide?"
"Honestly, the prince would just keep both of them." Bel shrugged dismissively. But then he saw Yamamoto's worried expression, and decided to take pity on him – as any good prince should take on any peasant. "But if the prince had to really choose one...then logically, the prince would go for the second one the prince fell for."
"Eh? Why?" Yamamoto wanted to know.
"Because if you think about it logically." Bel paused to pop another piece of potato chip into his mouth, "If you were really into the first person, then you wouldn't have fallen for the second person, ne*?"
"...that's true," Yamamoto murmured.
"But then again, the prince is just speaking on logical terms. And as those annoying old people say, these matters are never logical." Bel shrugged once again. "So it's really just up to you."
Yamamoto agreed with Bel to a certain extent. It really was true – when Yamamoto fell for Gokudera, he wasn't all that connected with Hibari. But now, matters were different. Because now, he really did feel that he loved Hibari, whilst at the same time, he had gone too far with Gokudera to be able to bear letting him go. Bel's logic didn't work here. Any sort of logic couldn't work here.
"Thanks Bel... I'll be leaving now," Yamamoto said, rather deflated by the entire situation.
"You're welcome." Bel flashed his Cheshire cat's smile. Then, as Yamamoto began to exit the room, Bel added, "Oh, by the way, Yamamoto... You really should appreciate your lovers for allowing you to be this selfish."
The words weren't spoken out of tact, but they stabbed right into the centre of Yamamoto's chest.
An image of Gokudera's face flashed in his mind.
'…I'll give you one month to decide,'
'I know what I want, and I'll fight for it.'
It was obvious that the silvernette cared for Yamamoto. He cared for Yamamoto enough to give him the selfish time he needed. He cared for him enough to fight for him. He cared for him so much, that it was possibly more than the magnitude of which Yamamoto cared for him in return.
That was why he couldn't be so selfish to leave Gokudera hanging when he already knew that he was in love with Hibari. He couldn't do that to him anymore. He couldn't create any more hope, couldn't form any more bridges if all he would do in the end was destroy them. No. Yamamoto wouldn't let Gokudera crash harder than he should just because of his own selfishness.
He had to end this, and end it fast. Yamamoto had to end it before he could change his mind and hurt Gokudera all over again.
Yamamoto mounted his motorcycle and drove off towards Lancia's house, the Dynamite base. He focused his mind entirely on driving – and he drove fast. He didn't want to allow himself any opportunities to feel the hurt beforehand. Because the hurt would make him hesitate, and that hesitation will be the cause of Gokudera's future suffering.
And with every second on that motorcycle, Yamamoto's heart throbbed viciously as it awaited its soon-arriving breakdown.
12.47pm
Yamamoto leaned against his motorcycle and stared, absentmindedly, at the sky.
The sky was clear blue and beautifully bright. It didn't make sense. How could the day appear to be so wonderful when something completely awful was about to happen?
It has to be short. And fast. Yamamoto repeated to himself. Don't allow any time to change your mind. You have to break it off today, no matter what he says, no matter how much it'll hurt…
It must be done today. Right now. Or else you'll never be able to do it.
You have to break it off with him.
His heart clenched at the thought, and Yamamoto almost gasped with the pain.
I don't want to do this...
"Sushi guy...? What are you doing over there?"
Yamamoto turned to see Skull standing by the front door.
"Hey, Skull..." Yamamoto croaked – his throat was dry, and he didn't realize it. He cleared his throat briefly before he asked, "Is...is Gokudera here?"
Skull nodded, "Yup. He's upstairs – probably still sleeping. You wanna go wake him up?"
No. I don't want to wake him up for this. I really don't...
"Yeah, sure," Yamamoto mumbled, dragging his motorcycle into the parking lot and entering the house after Skull.
The place was unusually quiet and peaceful. The house which used to be packed with gang members was now relatively empty, save for Skull, who was pouring himself some cereal.
"Senpai's in the guest room. You go up and it's the first room to the left," Skull instructed.
Yamamoto nodded silently and began making his way to the room.
This is it. It's coming closer – any moment now and it'll be over.
A bitter lump formed in Yamamoto's throat as he stood in front of the door. He swallowed thickly, knocked on the door twice, lightly, before he stepped in – trying to make as little noise as possible.
Gokudera was sleeping soundlessly on the bed, his petite form curled up into a ball beneath the covers. The room was dark, the only source of light being the streak of sunshine that peaked through the curtains.
Yamamoto closed the door gently behind him and stood there for a while, watching Gokudera from a distance, making time for himself. Then, he decided that if this were to be the last time then he wanted to see Gokudera fully. Thus, Yamamoto moved slowly from standing by the door to kneeling by the bed.
Gokudera's eyelashes were long. Yamamoto always knew, but he never thought they were as long as they appeared to be at this moment. Subconsciously, he reached out and ran his thumb gently over the tips of them eyelashes. They were soft, and so light he could hardly feel them. Yamamoto let his fingers trail along Gokudera's cheekbone, and wondered why his skin was so smooth. His fingers traced Gokudera's jaw line down to his lips, slightly parted. Yamamoto allowed his thumb to run over them, too.
Those lips were soft as flower petals. Yamamoto could almost taste them on the tip of his tongue. They always tasted like the smell of tobacco and the touch of something wonderful – a sweet in its bitterness. Something akin to dark chocolate melting on one's tongue. But nothing could fully compare to Gokudera's kiss. His kisses were usually desperate in nature, giving the sense that he needed more and more; but within that was also restraint, holding back just to allow the moment to sink in.
Yamamoto closed his eyes, unable to look at Gokudera any longer without leaning in and kissing him right then and there.
I'm breaking up with you. I must. I can't be selfish and keep you with me anymore. Yamamoto thought bitterly.
I'm breaking up with you.
...but that doesn't mean I don't care for you. It doesn't mean I wouldn't miss you.
I'll miss you. I'll miss you so, so much.
I'll miss kissing you. I'll miss the way your lips move against mine, the taste of your tongue. I'll miss holding you. I'll miss how your arms found their way around my back, how you pressed yourself closer to me – especially when you cried and tried to stop yourself from trembling in my arms. I'll miss your voice murmuring my name. I'll miss your smile – that rare faint hint of a smile you reserved for me, and me alone. I'll miss talking to you. I'll miss hearing the things you never told anyone – getting to know your hidden vulnerable side. I'll miss your rebellious side. I'll miss your laugh. I'll miss your eyes. Your hair. Your lips, your cheeks, your face, your body, your breath... Your everything.
I'll miss how much you care for me.
I'll miss how you were mine.
I'll miss you.
Yamamoto opened his eyes again, and they were warm with tears.
I don't want to do this. I don't…
"Gokudera...," he whispered. His throat was dry and his hand was quivering as they brushed away strands of hair from Gokudera's face. His fingertips were numb and cold.
I don't want to lose you.
Yamamoto's chest hurt. His heart was screeching at him in pain, on the verge of exploding. He didn't know that it would hurt this much. He never knew, until now, how much he really did feel towards Gokudera. All of that was becoming clear now. Now that he was forcing himself to tear everything off.
But it hurt. It hurt so badly.
Yamamoto wasn't ready to let go – he didn't know whether he ever would be.
How can I let you go when I...feel this much for you?
"Nnh..." Gokudera stirred.
Yamamoto rolled in his lips, clenching his fists and closing his eyes once again. Don't wake up. Please. Just a moment more. I don't want to do this. Not yet.
"Yamamoto...?" Gokudera murmured sleepily, his eyes opening only slightly.
Yamamoto was thankful for the lights being off. If it wasn't this dark, Gokudera would've seen his eyes. And he would've seen that they were in pain; that there were tears brimming within them. He pressed his face into Gokudera's pillow and spoke with a muffled voice, "...hey."
A faint smile that Yamamoto loved spread across Gokudera's lips, those emerald eyes shining. Gokudera whispered back, "Hey... Didn't expect to see you here."
Do it. Break up with him.
"Yeah...I should've called," Yamamoto mumbled.
Gokudera shook his head, hair falling adorably in his face. "Nah...I'm glad."
You have to do it. Now.
"Gokudera, I...," Yamamoto started, but he wouldn't continue. He couldn't continue. His voice was caught in his throat. His body was physically stopping him from saying the words.
"Hm...?" Gokudera looked at Yamamoto's face, those emerald eyes watching him with concern. "What's wrong, Yamamoto?"
Go on. Do it. Right now. Pull the trigger.
Yamamoto felt his heart being torn. A dagger was slowly being pushed into the core. A tear rolled down his face but he buried it in the pillow. "I..."
...and kill us both.
Gokudera noticed the pain. Immediately, he was worried – but he wasn't sure if he should intrude. Assiduously, he rested his hand on the back of Yamamoto's neck and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb.
Yamamoto's hand gripped the bed sheets tight. Don't. Don't make this even harder for me.
"Hey...," Gokudera whispered softly. "...it's okay. Whatever it is, I'm here."
You won't be. Not after I do this to you. Yamamoto's chest was throbbing violently.
But I have to. I don't want to hurt you more in the end.
With a deep breath, Yamamoto looked up and began, "Gokudera, I think..."
But there it was again. The lump formed the moment his eyes met with those emerald pools – filled with nothing but concern for him. That lump in his throat that refused to let him speak.
Because he didn't want to let Gokudera go. He just couldn't allow himself to let go. He couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever. Because...
"Yamamoto...?" Gokudera murmured.
...because I love him.
The realization hit Yamamoto like a splash of cold water. His emotions fully awakened just when he was on the verge of losing Gokudera. And almost as an automatic response, he climbed up onto the bed and pulled Gokudera into his arms. He hugged the petite body tight, close, and with so much force that it nearly took the air out of Gokudera.
Mine. You're mine and in my arms and I just can't let you go.
Gokudera was confused, but he didn't pull away. He looked up at the baseball player who was holding onto him as though he was afraid he would slip away. "...Yamamoto, what's going-"
Yamamoto kissed him.
And it wasn't one of those usual kisses between them. This was something entirely different.
Usually, Yamamoto kissed his lips. This time, however, it was as though Yamamoto was kissing his soul.
You're mine and in my arms, and I love you, I love you, I love you.
...
And I know this is going to kill me...because I love him, too.
A/N: It's been a long time since this update and I apologize for that... my life has gotten a WHOLE LOT busier since the new school year started. Don't worry though! I will NEVER leave any fic incomplete. So if you're still here and still reading... THANK YOU. I really appreciate all of your support! :D My motivation for writing the final part of this chapter was based solely on your reviews.
B/N: *Haha, I'm pretty sure that that's from a quote by Johnny Depp (Damn, that guy is hot). ANYWAYS, the quote is…
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
EDIT A/N: Yes, my beta has caught me.. xD That quote/idea came from Johnny Depp.