Chapter 3
Sarah kept walking down the yellow brick road.
2 bluebirds flew by. " Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road… "
"Alright, that's just getting old." She then looked down and saw the road ending. "What? Where do I go now?"
"I can tell you!" A gourd came out of the bushes on a unicycle with a parasol attached to the back (how he was riding that thing with no legs, I'll never know). " I'm a lucky fellow, I'm a lucky boy, I gots a new umbrella, and it's me pride and joy…"
"OK, this is just weird," Sarah thought out loud.
"…and the rain may come and the sun may go and I'll be dry from me head to toe, I'm a lucky fellow, I'm a lucky boy " He stopped circling her. "Hello!"
Sarah wiggled her fingers as a wave. "Hi."
"Do you like me new umbrella?"
"Uh…"
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was looking for my cousin—he disappeared and somehow ended up somewhere here—and I need to find him and the munchkins told me to follow the yellow brick road but it just stops."
"Oh, you're going to the Land of the Lost!"
"There's not dinosaurs walking around that place, are there?"
"Oh, no! You're thinking of Jurassic Park."
Sarah sighed. "It's official, I hate this place."
"Well, if you're going to the Land of the Lost, you'll need to find your way through the Golden Gates. There's 2 gates and you'll have to choose the right one—one leads to the Land of the Lost and the other to certain death…or back to where you started, I never can remember which. After you've gone through the correct gate, you can make your way to the Land of the Lost from there with this map." He handed her a map (how he did that without hands, I'll never know either).
Sarah took it. "OK, thanks."
The gourd nodded.
She looked at him. "Bye."
"Oh, but there's one more thing: you won't know you're there until the sky turns grey and black."
"Why would the sky be dark?"
"Oh, because an evil Warlock took command of that part of the realm and holds every creature in there hostage until he discovers someone with power is looking for them and he sends his evil Orcs after them to bring them to him so that he can drain their power, whether they're dead or alive! Do you like me new umbrella?"
"WHAT?"
"OK, bye!" He started to pedal off. "Oh, and I must warn you! The Gatekeepers at the Golden Gates are a little erratic! One of them always tells the truth and the other always lies! I'm a lucky fellow, I'm a lucky boy, I gots a new umbrella… "
Sarah started breathing faster. "Oh no. I have to get Jack out of there now!" She raced down the road that started where the yellow brick one ended until she came to 2 golden gates. "Wow."
2 imp-like creatures came up to her. "Hey!"
She jumped back.
"If you want to pass the gates," they both said, "you must choose which way."
"Oh, right, there's 2 ways. You 2 must be the Gatekeepers; one tells the truth, one always lies."
They both just blinked.
"Then again, I'm not too certain about umbrella boy, but I think get the point. Alright, how do I figure out which one…"
"Oh, ask me!" said one, "I'll tell you which way to go!"
"No, he won't!" said the other, "He'll lie, he always does! Pick me! Pick me!"
The 2 started to get into a fight.
"ALRIGHT!" Sarah pushed them apart. She turned to one. "You!" He looked at her. "Would he tell me that the door on the right leads to the Land of the Lost?"
The Gatekeeper she was talking to thought that over. "Yes."
"Then the door on the left leads to the Land of the Lost. Because if you're lying, he wouldn't say the one on the right and he'd be telling the truth about it."
"But I could be telling the truth."
"Yes, but then he would be lying when he said that the one on the right led there so the answer would still be no!" She walked off to the door on the right and walked right through it, immediately starting to follow the map.
The Gatekeepers looked at each other. "She's good."
At the theater…
Every person in the theater moved with the ship in the movie as another star exploded. Well, almost everyone. Wendy had gotten bored after 15 minutes, Daniella was tired of the science-mixing fiction (or at least it was science-mixing by her standards), Lexi wasn't interested in what was going on, and Sophie just had a headache from the 3-D.
"That was so cool!" said Duck.
"And derivative," said the nerd behind them, "They did it Solar Troopers Quest 4."
Ace noticed the girls. "Oh, come on, girls, don't tell me you're done already."
"Give us a break," said Wendy, "We're the only women in here."
"What about…nope," said Duck.
Wendy sighed. "How many stars have to explode for this thing to be over?"
"487." The gang looked at the nerd. "Or so they said in the chat room."
Lexi started typing on her phone.
"Lex-would-put-your-phone-away-it's-distracting," said Rev.
Lexi glared at him. "My phone is distracting from the 3-D destruction of the Milky Way?"
"Hey!" snapped the nerd, quietly, "Do you mind?"
"You were talking, too!"
"About the movie! Which is totally allowed!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Lexi shoved her phone in his face and then put it back in her pocket.
Sophie took off her glasses entirely and gave them to Tech. "That's it. I give up. Let's go, girls." She grabbed her stuff and she and her sisters and Lexi got up and started walking down the aisle. "Excuse me. Hey, could you please move your…flipper?"
The guys started to get up to go after them.
"Mr. President, only you can give the order to explode the supernova."
"May the galaxy forgive me!"
Another star exploded, this one the brightest yet, and every guy cheered. Then the old Loonatics raced after their girls.
The triplets and Lexi were waiting outside.
The guys came out.
"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Tech, sitting down next to Sophie.
Sophie glared at him. "What's wrong? We finally get our big break from the kids and we end up in a crowded theater full of 40-year-old nerds!"
The nerd came out of the theater and heard that comment. "Hey! I'm only 36!" He walked off.
Daniella sighed. "She still has a point. We wanted this to be our big night out together and this is where we are: watching a sci-fi nerd-flick and eating onion rings out of my purse."
"There were onion rings?" Duck cried.
"Alright, alright!" Ace said, "Fine. I have a solution for this: The movie is over in 20 minutes. We can finish it, and then we can go watch your chick-flick movie and all go out for dinner and then go straight home."
Lexi smiled. "I like that idea."
They went back into the theater.
Duck stopped Daniella. "Are you gonna want the onion rings or—?"
Daniella glared at him and then walked into the theater.
Duck sighed and followed.
At the tower…
Ryan was scanning the tower security cams for Sarah and Jack.
Kelly was still getting onto Michael (with Nadine as back-up). "How could you bring home the wrong baby?"
"I'm sorry! I got a little distracted! Abby is really cute!"
Kelly fake-laughed. "Yeah. SO WAS OUR BABY SISTER!"
Ryan sighed as he stopped searching. "Well, Sarah and Jack just plain vanished."
Nadine sighed. "Then I guess we should go back to the park and find this Abby and get Gabby back. Hey, their names rhyme. How about that?" She shrugged and started pushing the stroller out.
Michael scoffed and took out his cell phone. "I have her number."
Nadine raced over to him. "Well, then what are you waiting for? Call her!"
Michael started to dial, then stopped. "Wait…is it too soon?"
Nadine groaned.
"I mean, if her call her now, she'll think I'm desperate—"
"Oh, you are desperate!" Kelly snapped.
"Good point." Michael dialed and waited for an answer. "Hello, is Abby there? This is a Chinese restaurant? Sure, I'll here the specials!"
Kelly swiped the phone and hung up. "She gave you the wrong number!"
Robert started laughing. "Didn't see that one coming."
"But…I gave her gum…and helped her changed a poopy diaper! It was so romantic."
Nadine groaned. "Great. What do we do now?"
Suddenly, Kelly's phone started ringing. She took it out. "Oh, no." She answered. "Hey, Mom! How you doing? Oh, so you just got out of Star Exploders. How was it? Well, you know Dad and Uncle Duck and Uncle Rev: if the critics hate it, it's gotta be good. The kids? Oh, sure, we're just having such a fun time with them. You wanna talk to Gabby? OK…" She leaned the phone into the stroller, but the baby made no noise. Kelly panicked started making random noises into the phone. "What? What do you mean that doesn't sound like Gabby? What, do you think I'm just making baby noises into the phone? Mom, that's crazy! Uh, I gotta go. Ooh-ooh…ah-ah—" She hung up.
"I guess I'm in no position to criticize here, but I was getting more monkey," said Benny.
"Come on, let's go to the park," said Nadine, starting to push the stroller back out the door.
"And meet the girl who blew off Mikey? I'm there!" Ryan started out the door.
"Alright, let's do this thing!" Lucy said as they walked out the door.
3…2…1…
"Let's do it with the other kids!" Kelly said as she raced back in and helped them set up the other strollers.