A/N # 1 In case you missed the announcement in a previous chapter, NW2A is guilty of marry off the Lupins a wee bit earlier than canon. Well, doesn't Remus deserve some love? ;)
A/N # 2 Thanks to Excessively Perky for her story suggestions.
Spinners End was not what Minerva was expecting. Hell, she wasn't sure what she was anticipating, but even in her darkest fears, she hadn't imagined the complete absence of hope that permeated Spinners End. The abject misery of the location gnawed away at her soul like a spiritual cancer.
How could anyone raise a child here?
Minerva had never before believed that she had been spoiled as a child, but now she knew how indulged she had truly been. Her parents had been financially comfortable, but not prone to extravagance. Yet, they had given her such a surfeit of love and affection that she had been self-confident and secure in her abilities, believing that her life was full of unlimited potential. Yes, Minerva McGonagall was most assuredly a product of her upbringing, much like the guarded Severus was the result of his childhood environment.
Albus took no notice of his bleak surroundings, instead he had carefully unwarded Severus' house and entered. Minerva quickly followed behind him, somewhat alarmed by his reckless behavior.
"Severus?" Dumbledore softly called up the hidden stairway that he had located with a surprising ease that spoke of a long familiarity with Severus' cramped home in Spinners End. "Are you up there?"
Bloody hell Albus, do you expect Severus to answer you with a cheery 'ay-yup'? Perhaps that female mage is lying in wait to ambush you.
"I don't believe he's still here, but just in case, I thought it prudent to let him know that we're are the ones that are here," Albus explained when he saw the disapproving look on her face. "That way he'll know we're not Voldemort or the Ministry."
He stepped into the dark stairway but Minerva deliberately put her arm in front of him to bar his way.
"I should go first," Minerva softly protested. "If Severus is here, you need to remember that he ran from you, Albus. You seem to have forgotten that he's terrified...of…. you."
Her blunt reminder stopped Albus cold. His blue eyes were not merrily a twinkle with suppressed amusement, no, they were instead quite somber.
"Yes, you are quite correct, Minerva. You should go first," he softly agreed. "I know he's terrified of me. I admit that I have utterly bodged the situation with him but he's in so much danger, Minerva. It's imperative that we find him. It will be necessary to remind me that I need to curb my enthusiasm."
She nodded her head in acknowledgement. Then Minerva stepped into the dark stairwell and called upstairs.
"Severus, it is I, Minerva. If you're still here, please, let me talk to you," she requested. The witch wasn't expecting a response, but still her heart sank when Severus didn't answer.
Severus' empty bedroom was a small, dark, claustrophobic room that strongly reminded Minerva of the Hogwarts' dungeons. Unlike Severus' neat to a fault quarters, it was a disaster, as a fearful Severus had made no attempt to hide the fact that he had hurriedly rummaged for clothes, books and other necessities. Albus was being quiet, entirely too silent for her comfort, and she found him sitting on Severus' bed, clutching the green dressing gown he had given Severus.
"He didn't take this," Albus murmured. He seemed… saddened.
"It appears that Severus only took Muggle clothing," Minerva reminded Albus.
"I thought that he liked it as Poppy assured me that Severus wore it. But he didn't even take his sweater. I intentionally provided him with a proper sweater and warm socks as Severus feels the cold so easily. It's almost March, he'll need a sweater. Why didn't Severus take any of his new clothes?"
Minerva decided it best not to involve herself in that conversation as her immediate response would be to snap, "I warned you about overwhelming him with gifts!"
No, that comment, while deeply emotionally satisfying, wouldn't be helpful in easing the currently tense situation. Instead, she began straightening the room. There would be no hiding that someone had entered Spinners End, and her strict upbringing was demanding that she get Severus' clothes off the floor. With a practiced flick, the clothing began straightening themselves out before they began to neatly fold themselves. That done, they began to stack themselves neatly onto the bed.
"We'll need to take those back to Hogwarts, so when we find him he'll have an available change of clothes," Albus stated.
Albus was being unduly optimistic, as Minerva's sixth sense was quite fearful that she had seen the last of Severus Snape. But since Albus was acting so bloody fey, she decided it was best just to pack Severus' clothes. With a quick flick and a tight swish, she Reduced the clothing into a small handkerchief size package.
"Minerva? There's an envelope with your name on it. It's on the chair," Albus informed her. His voice was rather soft and she almost didn't hear him. "That's Severus' hand writing. It's safe for you to pick up. I can't handle it as it's Warded against my touch."
"I'll need some light," Minerva informed Albus. While it was dark in Severus' bedroom, her request came from her understanding that a distressed Albus desperately needed something constructive to do immediately. "Would you mind?"
"Lumos," Albus cast, carefully holding his bright wand tip near Minerva.
"Thank you," Minerva responded. She held the envelope in one hand, and she put on her glasses with the other. Her hands shaking, she then opened the letter.
She read it, and for a wonder, Albus didn't ask her to read it out loud. No, instead he allowed her to read it several times in peace. The repeated readings were necessary to decipher Severus' cramped handwriting. Minerva then looked at Albus.
"He's in a very bad state, Albus. You're quite correct, we need to find him," Minerva stated, before she roughly wiped her tearing eyes. "Poor Severus, he's hurting so bad."
"May I ask what he wrote?" Albus hesitantly requested. "Was there any message for me?"
There was a rather painful question for Albus regarding the cancelled Bonding. She needed to be gentle but there was no way she could truly soften Severus' plaintive desperation.
Headmaster, I sincerely implore you to forgive me for however I may have most grievously offended you. Please tell me how I might make amends to you in order to save our daughter's life. I humbly beseech you to please not let your righteous anger against her carrier adversely affect her. I know my heartfelt words to you are merely meaningless noise and empty clamor, but I pledge to you, that she is everything to me.
"Severus is not making much sense as he seems quite troubled," Minerva explained. Perhaps that would be enough. "Severus promises to return to Hogwarts by late August. If he feels the child is in any danger, he assures me that he will return immediately."
Albus said not a word, and then Minerva continued.
"Severus believes that your anger towards him will cool if you don't have to deal with him. He's not sure how he angered you into reneging on the Bonding, but Severus… sincerely apologizes…and he… earnestly begs…for your forgiveness for whatever insult he has given you. There are several rather lengthy paragraphs of Severus confessing to various minor transgressions that he believes might have caused your anger and he then details in minutiae how he is a worthless piece of humanity," Minerva's voice shook as beneath her crusty exterior, she was quite emotional.
"I have failed him, Minerva," was Albus' barely audible response. "I pressured him into following my wishes… believing that I knew best… but Severus needed help so badly."
"The letter gets darker. He implored me that I do whatever I must to alleviate your anger, reminding me that my goddaughter may not survive to term if you don't bond him."
"And Severus won't live if I fail to bond him," Albus softly reminded Minerva.
"Actually, he's already made rather extensive plans for his death. He fears that you have reneged on the Bonding so you could have the child to yourself. Severus believes that you wish to raise her as a proper Gryffindor without any undesirable Slytherin influence. He's instructed me on what books to sell, how much I may get for each tome, and what dealer might be interested in his collection. There's also a list of what I'm to buy for the child, and he requests…"
Minerva stopped then, and it took some time for her to regain her composure.
"Severus…" She stopped again, and then continued. "Severus begs that if the child asks questions about him that I will be economical with the truth so she won't be shamed. His final request is that I buy her an emerald green dress for her first Christmas as a gift from him."
Albus took several minutes to reflect on everything, and then he nodded his head. He had made a decision regarding the situation with Severus, and Minerva pleaded to every god and goddess she knew that it was the right choice.
"Minerva, may I have a copy of the letter?" Albus softly requested. Yes, it was most assuredly a request, not an order.
"Albus, I've told you everything," she protested, ignoring that small, still voice that remarked that she had done no such thing. "He warded it against you for a reason."
"I'm sure there's much that you have edited. No doubt your revision was done out of a misguided sense of loyalty to me that I do not deserve. In this delicate situation, your loyalty to Severus needs to override everything else. To hell with my hurt feelings, Minerva, we need to find Severus before the Aurors do. I'm calling a meeting of the Order."
"What will you tell them?" Minerva asked.
"The truth," he simply stated.
"All of it?" sharply protested Minerva. "Is that truly wise?"
"I'll tell them that I have failed Severus. His flight from Hogwarts is because of his mistaken belief that his usefulness to me is at an end due to his injury. It's enough of the truth for them. Minerva, may I please have a copy of the letter?" Albus again appealed for the letter.
"No," she stated. "Severus didn't want you to read it. I must honor that."
He stared at her, and then Albus nodded his head in weary acceptance.
"I must learn to listen to you in regards to Severus. It is a tough lesson which I fear you will have to repeatedly beat into my head. I will abide by your decision as you know him far better than I did," Albus softly admitted. "To think at my advanced age, I'm capable of learning humility. Isn't the universe a very remarkable place?"
He was on the Hogwarts Express as it chugged along to the school, sitting next to Lily. They were fifth years, full of trepidation of their upcoming OWLS. She was his only true friend, completely accepted him for what he was, instead of what he could do for her.
"I wish they wouldn't pick on you," Lily sympathetically murmured. "Sirius is a nasty git, and James is an arse. Promise me; this year you won't let them get you into trouble. I don't want my potions partner getting expelled! You were in Dumbledore's office so much last year! I was so worried about you! I feared that the Headmaster was angry with you."
Memories of what had occurred in Dumbledore's office made him want to hurl, and he tried to swallow his bile.
"I won't get expelled," he promised Lily. "We're getting top marks in potions."
As long as he kept the Headmaster happy, he wouldn't get expelled. His stomach tightened, and he tried to smile. Dumbledore desired that Severus smile more as the Headmaster thoroughly disliked his scowling sourpuss face. The Headmaster believed that Severus was ugly enough when he smiled, thank you very much, and Severus' ever-present scowl just made a bad situation worse.
"Sev? Are you alright? You've gotten so pale." Lily was a concerned friend, but Severus couldn't tell her what troubled him. If he could have confided in anyone, it would be her, which is why he most assuredly could not. The Headmaster had specifically mentioned that he wasn't to tell Lily anything, and had made a thinly veiled threat about perhaps it would be better if the two of them were no longer chummy. Fearful of losing his only friend, Severus had sworn a binding oath to the Headmaster ensuring he would not tell Lily anything.
"I won't get expelled this year," Severus repeated. "I promise."
They went their separate ways once they got to the school after Lily promised to meet him the next day. He didn't eat much at the dinner as the Headmaster had surreptitiously watched him. Severus knew that he'd be summoned later that evening and his stomach was queasy enough. Too much food would be a mistake.
He went to bed, and as he still hadn't been summoned, he stayed awake. The Headmaster didn't like it when he had to wake Severus, and Severus was mightily endeavoring to keep the Headmaster pleased.
When the summons came, it was almost one in the morning. Easily, he made his way to the Headmaster's quarters. By now, it was old hat to sneak through the corridors at night. For four years Severus had slipped through the hallways and he had never been close to being caught, never needing the Headmaster's magic to ease his way.
The Headmaster was waiting for him. The Headmaster held out his arms, and Severus immediately embraced the Headmaster. Sometimes, the Headmaster hugged him so tightly that Severus couldn't breathe. Now was such a time, and Severus believed that the ferocity of the Headmaster's embrace was because the Headmaster had missed him during the summer.
Some might state that it was a shameful thing, this relationship that consisted mainly of clandestine, nighttime meetings between the two of them but not Severus. When Snape was younger, the Headmaster had realized they had much in common and so he had arranged for these special nighttime mentoring sessions. Dumbledore had been quite poor and he, too, had been bullied when he was a student at Hogwarts, due to his raggedy clothes, his red hair and his father.
In time, Dumbledore admitted that he thought that Severus was quite special, how the Slytherin was so grown up for his age, and how much the Headmaster cared for him. There were a few shy kisses at first, and then, Dumbledore gently explained to him the mysteries of what happened between two people that loved each other as much as they did. Severus had desperately wanted to experience physical love, but the Headmaster had insisted that they not rush. So they had limited themselves to kisses and touches until Severus was truly ready.
As Severus has gotten older and much, much wiser, he increasingly valued his extraordinary relationship with Dumbledore. The Headmaster didn't touch Black, Potter or Lupin. No, the Headmaster's special touches and Dumbledore's soft moans of passions were reserved only for Severus, a dirty little Slytherin. Was it pride that filled Severus' soul? That only he could pleasure the greatest wizard in all of creation? He loved how Dumbledore's face looked in the midst of their passion because Severus knew that he was responsible for it, and how soft the Headmaster's voice was when they cuddled afterwards in the afterglow.
"Did you miss me during the summer? I'm sure you didn't miss me as much as I missed you." The Headmaster's voice was sad because he believed that Severus who claimed to love him so very, very much hadn't missed him. "You weren't alone, after all, while I was."
He tried not to weep, but Severus was deeply shamed that the Headmaster thought him unfeeling.
"I missed you, I missed you so much! I swear I missed you!" Severus pleaded. "Believe me, please. Every day, I prayed that you would contact me. I know you couldn't risk it, but still…I was so happy when you owled me that one day."
He wept, and to his surprise, the Headmaster gently rubbed his back.
"I know that you were scared this summer," the Headmaster gently whispered. "I shouldn't have sent you that note, but I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you two, every hour, every second of this past summer. Minerva wondered why I had such a silly smile plastered on my face, and naturally, I couldn't tell her the truth."
There was another lengthy, tight embrace, and then a long kiss.
"I should have kept you here so I could keep an eye on you two, but there was no way I could. Don't you worry; you'll be staying here during the Christmas and spring breaks. Next summer, you won't have to return home, as I'll have enough time to craft a respectable reason so your parents will let you remain at Hogwarts. But I'll take you home with me, and we'll have the entire summer together. "
They broke apart and then to Severus' delighted embarrassment, the Headmaster slid his hand beneath Severus' waistband.
"Getting a wee bit tight, Severus."
A blushing Severus nodded his head.
"Don't you fret. I've bought you new clothes, and I put Expanding and Concealment Charms on all of them. No one will know about our special little secret. I don't need to remind you that we have to be very careful, Severus. The others, they wouldn't understand. They would wrongly fear this miracle as black magic. They'd send me to Azkaban, and you'd be incarcerated in St. Mungo's Criminal Ward."
The Headmaster smiled, and Severus tremulously smiled back. When the Headmaster had realized Severus' expectant condition, he had been furious with Severus. In his fury, Dumbledore had raged that the Slytherin had deliberately ensnared him using blackest of magic. Severus had been terrified of the Headmaster's wrath and he had cowered in the corner of the Headmaster's study in a futile attempt of shielding himself from the Headmaster's blows. His pitiful, nearly incoherent, sniveling protestations of complete innocence had at last penetrated the Headmaster's fiery rage and Dumbledore's anger had dissipated as quickly as it had arrived.
The Headmaster had been so distressed about so brutally frightening the traumatized Severus that Dumbledore had insisted on hours of gently petting, caressing and soothing Severus. He assured Severus that everything would be just fine; he thoroughly examined Severus with his wand and promised him that the conception hadn't occurred due to dark magic. The Headmaster being so smart, remembered a story where such a thing had happened before, and that it was the result of the two lovers' remarkable love for one another. Then the Headmaster had taken him to his bed and had been extraordinarily tender and affectionate. That night had been the best Severus had ever experienced with the Headmaster. Severus had been so happy, because he knew what love truly was.
But the traumatic experience with the enraged Headmaster had made Severus extremely fearful of ever again angering the Headmaster, so he endeavored even harder to be perfect. He practiced smiling more, and he tried not to scowl even when the Marauders hounded him. When the Headmaster had instructed him that he was to return to Spinners End for the summer break, he hadn't protested his abandonment. No, Severus claimed that he understood the necessity of the charade.
He hadn't really, as the Headmaster was so smart, couldn't he have thought of a reason to keep Severus at Hogwarts for the summer?
"This is a special time for us, Severus, and I want to savor every single moment."
The Headmaster held out his hand to Severus, and Severus reached for it. His stomach uncontrollably roiled as the very thought of intimacy with the Headmaster. Since experiencing that incident with the enraged Headmaster, Severus had developed a deep fear of the Headmaster. He shouldn't be afraid of the Headmaster, for Severus loved the Headmaster, and Dumbledore loved him. But his mother and father claimed to love Severus, and they were abusive to him.
No, Dumbledore loved him. He was good, and Severus shouldn't fret that the Headmaster would act like Severus' parents.
Dumbledore's fingers tightly closed around Severus' hand, and then the Headmaster firmly pulled Severus towards him.
"Come," he insisted. "I worry that you've forgotten over your long summer break everything I took such delight in teaching you. It's a lovely night to review the course material. I will be quite strict in grading you, Severus."
Severus was filled with panic and he pulled away from the Headmaster.
"Please," Severus whispered. "Go slow tonight?"
He didn't see the Headmaster's hand, but the blow rocked him where he stood. His hand shaking, he touched his painful cheek. Snape was still shell-shocked when the next blow landed. Then the Headmaster grabbed him by his shoulders and began to viciously shake him.
"None of that now," growled a male voice. It wasn't Dumbledore's voice, but another. "Wake up, you're having a nightmare."
For a moment, Severus had no idea where he was, and then he felt himself being assisted in a sitting position. Bile was in his throat, and he began to uncontrollably vomit into the proffered bin.
"It didn't happen like that," he whispered. "I know that it didn't happen like that. He never touched me when I was a student. Never… he's not like that. He's good and proper, and…I know that they put these vile memories in my head. They never really happened, I know it. I know it. Why must I be plagued with evil memories that never occurred?"
Sasha ignored his whispers, and instead, the Dark Wizard wiped Severus' sweaty brow with a cool, damp cloth.
It was ironic, Severus had to admit, that Sasha would intimately clean him with such a gentle touch. Sasha… feared around the world… a mass murderer of epic proportions… was the only one willing to touch Severus.
"Drink this. It will help with your nausea. It's very weak tea," Sasha explained in his straightforward manner. "I would have been here earlier to wake you, but I was in the midst of bottling your medication. Once I started to pour, I couldn't break away unless I wanted the entire batch ruined. I'm sorry; I simply couldn't lose the entire lot."
Severus nodded his head once, acknowledging the truth in what Sasha said, then sipped at the cold tea, and his tongue and lips grew numb.
"Kava?" He asked, though he knew the answer. It must be Kava, as normally, he'd be furious about being drugged, but not now. Instead, Severus was filled to the brim with a completely artificial sense of well being.
"Just enough to relax you, I've modified it to strengthen the anti-anxiety properties while diminishing the risk of adverse side affects. You'll find yourself quite gregarious; I do promise you that I will respect your secrets and I will not attempt not to pry. I do require a serious conversation with you, and I need you to be truthful," stated Sasha. "Keep drinking. Have you heard that old saying?
Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy;
With the second sip, satisfaction;
With the third sip, peace;
With the fourth, a scone."
"Never heard of that," admitted Severus. He continued to drink the weak tea, and then he shook his head. "No more, please."
"Here, place this on your eyes," Sasha ordered. "It will help with the light sensitivity caused by the Kava."
It was a sleep eye mask, and Severus sniffed at it.
"Chamomile Flowers, Hops, Lavender Buds, Linden Flowers, Marjoram, and Orange Peel? Are you an aromatherapist or a wizard?" He attempted a rusty smile to soften his comment as he feared angering Sasha. It would do Ari no good for Severus to enrage their sole benefactor.
"Do you remember who I truly am?" was the older mage's quick response. "You must, as you're terrified, and your fear appears not to be because of my less than amiable disposition."
Severus nodded once and quickly swallowed.
"I'm always frightened these days," Severus offered by way of an apology. "Merlin's scrote, this stuff has really made me talkative. I didn't want to admit that."
"Well, at least you're not hysterically screaming, so the Kava must be working," Sasha decided after a long moment of silence. "I will not be making of a habit of the Kava tea, by the way."
"That's wise," Severus agreed. "The side effects…"
Severus grimaced, as the damn Kava was making him far too loquacious.
"Adrik, you need to remember that there are a great many stories about me, and some might even be the truth, though most have been distorted beyond all semblances of reality. At one time, I was a fully trained Healer and I'm qualified as a Healer-surgeon. I graduated with Top Marks from the Academy of Bulgarian Healers, so I can assure you that I'm qualified to treat you. I can even deliver the child by Caesarean section," Sasha explained. "It wouldn't be the first one I've done, but I must be truthful. It has been ten years since my last Caesarean."
Caesarean section? Merlin's dirty y-fronts, he hadn't even thought of about the looming difficulties of the baby being born. He completely lacked the proper plumbing!
"I haven't thought about that particular problem," confessed Severus. "I have such doubts that I can actually get to term."
Sasha put his fingers on Severus' lips.
"Oxana believes that you landed in our alley way due to your desperation in finding a Healer that could get you to term. I plan on getting you to term, Adrik. As for herbs, yes, I'm relying on them. Truthfully, I'd rather use magic on you but you've been subjected to a bit too much of that recently. I need to limit my magical intervention on you until your aura isn't such a bloody, chaotic mess. Even after I realign your aura, I'll have to depend on herbs and Muggle medication for some of what ails you."
Sasha then put the sleeping eye mask over Severus' eyes and then secured it into place. That done, he carefully positioned Severus on the pillows.
"Hops in the pillows? You must be a Brew Master to have such a store of Hops," Severus joked.
"Hops have a positive reputation for helping with anxiety and sleep disorders. But enough about herbal remedies, we need to make some rather serious decisions about your medical care, Severus."
"You know who I am." Severus admitted that unwillingly. Damn the Kava, he couldn't even think of lying to Sasha.
"Yes, I do. Don't worry, I've Untabooed your name within these walls because of your fever. The Muggle police department has put a bulletin out on you. It was even on the bloody telly just now, claiming that you're a wanted mass murder. They must have been contacted by the Ministry of Magic. Their involvement means your Aurors are looking for you. Muggle police, Ministry Aurors, Gellert Junior and St. Albus are all hunting you. It will be essential to change your physical appearance, your magical scent and your psyche. Someone may walk into the shop and recognize you. I can not risk that for obvious reasons," Sasha explained.
"Is that why you drugged me? You didn't have to do so. I've never been much of a looker, so change me as you see fit."
"No, I've already built a model for your new disguise. You'll look like you, but you won't. What I wanted to discuss with you is the results of a great deal of research." The Bulgarian wizard paused, as though gathering his courage. "Severus, I might be able to salvage your left arm. You won't regain full use, but you won't match the one armed man for which the Muggle Police is looking. Do you wish me to proceed?"
Severus sat up then, the sleeping eye mask disorientating him.
"YES!" was his instantaneous response. "But the Dark Mark? Will he be able to Locate me?"
"You need to know that it will be a lengthy process. Perhaps three months? First, I will have to grow the skin and cajole the nerves to return. The bone will have to be carefully grown as Skele-grow is contra-indicated for pregnant witches. That will take the longest time, and during that time, your arm will be splinted. Each joint will be immobilized in a position of function. You'll be able to hold a cup in your hand, for instance. Whether you'll be able to raise it to your lips is another question. There should be no Dark Mark. Your link to Gellert Junior was broken when you lost your arm."
"I was told that it couldn't be regrown," Severus protested.
"Easy, you need to rest," chastised Sasha. The Dark Wizard once again pushed Severus down back against his pillows. "It's a cutting edge treatment plan that was recently documented in Mages Medizinische Monatszeitschrift, so I'd be quite surprised that anyone at St. Mungo's would be aware of it. Like I warned you, it will take some time for the results, and a great deal of effort on my part. Plus the medicinal supplies will be rather costly. Pixie dust, unicorn hair, Acromantula venom, and powder of Romanian Longhorn dragon horn plus a few other exotic compounds that do not grow on trees nor do they fall from the skies. Fortunately, some of what I need does grow on trees."
Sasha softly chuckled, apparently quite amused by his witticism.
"I don't have the funds," Severus slowly admitted.
"Yes, I know. Oxana has taken your funds, generously subsidized by both Oxana and myself, and has gone to market to buy supplies. Now, the question remains, how do you expect to compensate the two of us for our time and effort? While St. Albus might have been willing to financially support you and dress you in silk while your belly swelled with his heir, I'm nowhere near that altruistic…"
The noise Severus made was involuntary, and he began to uncontrollably tremble. Bloody hell, he didn't have any bloody clothes as Sasha had burned them to break his link to Albus.
"Easy, lad, easy. I didn't mean to stir up painful memories with that comment. You need to remember that I had been… on my own… for a great many years before I met Oxana. Decades of extreme solitude has made me less than…. genial. Small talk is not… easy… for me, but I felt I must assure you that I have taken you on as a patient, comprehending full well that you will not be able to pay for your treatment. You will be clothed and fed, not handsomely, but adequately. For payment, among other small tasks, you will work in the shop. Stock shelves and odd jobs mainly."
"Why are you helping me?" Severus questioned.
"My reasons are my own, and I do not have to explain them to you." Sasha growled. "Sooner you stop asking, the happier I'll be. Trust me, you would prefer me to be cheerful."
"Thank you," Severus could be courteous, after all. "What other jobs might you require me to do?"
"As for odd jobs, we'll discuss it when you're stronger. I am sure that you possess arcane knowledge of which Oxana and I are both unfamiliar. Perhaps, we could trade? Perhaps you've learned how to fly or perhaps sprout wings. I've always wanted to know how to fly. Might prove useful in a tight spot."
"I know how to fly," Severus insisted. "It's not that hard. I'll teach you and Oxana…"
Sasha softly laughed.
"Flying, Severus? Now, now. I want you to teach you how to relax through self-hypnosis. Just concentrate on my voice, and do what I say," the Bulgarian wizard requested. "You need to trust me."
"Do I have a choice?" Severus quipped.
"We all have choices. Some are easy, and their only reward is that they are easy. Then there are choices that we live not only once but a million times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives. You must trust me that I will heal you, and in turn, I must have confidence in you. Would it not be easy for you to gain leniency with your Ministry by turning me in? Would not St. Albus look kindly upon you for discovering that his old lover's henchman is still walking to and fro on the Earth?"
"They were… lovers?" To his shame, Severus' voice broke.
Bloody hell, Albus had been lovers with GELLERT GRINDELWALD? And… and… and… Albus had loved the Dark Wizard? And… and… Severus wasn't… proper… wasn't good enough… for the smallest amount of affection from Albus… and yet Gellert had been?
I can't let Ari know… I can't let her know… Albus loved… Grindlewald… and… he couldn't… tolerate me… long enough to let Ari be born healthy. Am I that unredeemable? I must be… for the only one willing to help me is a mass murdering Dark Wizard.
To his surprise, he felt Sasha squeeze his right shoulder. No doubt he meant to be comforting, but Severus was too devastated by this latest revelation to appreciate it.
"Again, I have unintentionally wounded you by revealing unhappy truths about the contemptible man you revere and adore. Yes, they were lovers when they were quite young. It was an intense flowering of emotions on both their parts. When they met for the last time, Gellert foolishly believed that he could sway Albus to his reasoning, and a rather naive Albus hoped to redeem Gellert. Truth be told, I found them both rather cloying and maudlin on that infamous date in history," Sasha drolly commented.
"Albus… and… Gellert?" Severus whispered.
"Tapak! Da eba! Da eba! Chyort voz'mi!" Sasha went on for some time, viciously and creatively cursing in assorted languages. "I'm such an idiot. There's no way you'll be able to trance down now. We'll have to work on it tomorrow. Go to sleep, Severus."
The Bulgarian wizard put his hand on Severus' forehead, and whispered softly in Bulgarian.
"Go to sleep, Severus. Do not fear; you'll sleep so deeply that you won't dream."
Severus didn't dream. But until he fell asleep, his thoughts were full of a curly haired blonde hair boy with a wild, gleeful look on his face and another boy with long auburn hair and blue eyes. The two of them insisted on passionately kissing while Severus wept.
"I now call this emergency meeting of the Order of the Phoenix to order," Minerva announced. "As this is an emergency meeting, normal rules of order have been suspended. Last meeting's notes will be reviewed at our next scheduled meeting."
"You're getting too comfortable in calling these emergency meetings, Albus," Mad Eye Moody barked. There were murmurs of agreement from the various order members. "What happened now? It must be important if Minerva canceled her classes today to go gallivanting through the countryside with you."
Albus was at the head of the table, his right hand rubbing his temple. He ignored Mad Eye's caustic comment and kept silent.
"Albus?" Mad Eye prompted after a few minutes of silence.
"Minerva? Can you tell us why this meeting was called?" Remus Lupin asked. The werewolf appeared quite concerned about Albus's reticence. "What has happened?"
"It's Severus," Minerva explained. It seemed that Albus was still licking his wounds, so that meant she'd have to take charge.
"What has Snivellous done now?" Sirius Black questioned in a bored tone.
Having been a teacher for far too many years, Minerva was able to easily ignore Sirius Black's witty comment.
"As you are all aware, Severus was severely injured by He Who Must Not Be Named. We managed to rescue him and bring him to Hogwarts. Unfortunately, Severus believes that due to his injury, he is no longer able to productively contribute to the Order." Minerva stopped talking for a moment. She needed to compose herself before she continued.
"So, do you want us to pat him on the back?" Sirius quipped. He easily laughed at his witticism. "Throw the greasy git a party and assure him that we still love him in spite of the fact that he's bloody useless to the cause?"
"Severus has left Hogwarts. It is imperative that he is located before Voldemort's forces or the Ministry finds him. Once he is found, you are to inform me immediately. Under no circumstances is anyone to make contact with him. Remus, Sirius, due to your history with Severus, I must ask you to refrain from the search," Minerva announced. "Dora, I must ask the same thing of you."
"Well, good riddance to bad rubbish," Sirius snorted. "Let him crawl back on his belly to the Malfoys and LeStranges. He's a bloody coward. Always has been, always will be. He was looking for a way out, Albus. He's found it. I say we don't waste our time on locating him."
Silence reigned and Albus then nodded his head once.
"Didn't you ever wonder why I never defended you when you sentenced to Azkaban? There is a very good reason why I believed that you were quite capable of killing James and Lily, Sirius." Albus' voice was quite soft when he spoke.
"How dare you! They were my friends!" Sirus roared. Remus and Dora jumped to their feet in order to prevent the hot-headed Sirius from striking Albus. "I would never betray my friends!"
"Remus Lupin is your friend, is he not?" Albus questioned. His blue eyes were distant.
"Yes, he is!" Sirius protested. "I would never hurt him."
"Yet, during your time at Hogwarts, you were instrumental in nearly killing Severus. Did you not attempt a meeting between Severus Snape and a transformed Remus Lupin, uncaring of the fact that Severus would most likely be killed? Would not Remus have been put down on the very spot when the Ministry found out? For someone you claim to love as a brother, you were awfully careless with his life. Perhaps, the reason why I never bothered defending you was because I felt guilty because I had given you too many chances," Albus admitted.
Remus then easily pushed a stunned Sirius back into his chair.
"I agree that my participation in the search for Severus would be inappropriate," Remus softly stated. "I have, after all, attempted to kill him twice. I can not fault his rather sensible dislike for me due to my… little furry problem."
The werewolf bitterly smiled, and then sat down.
"I agree not to be involved with searching for Severus in my role as Order Member. It's a rather reasonable request, considering I'm newly married to Remus. While I don't believe Severus is aware of the marriage, I do not wish to risk it," Dora agreed. "As an Auror, I will have to search for him."
"Thank you, Dora, for understanding. Sirius, how I wish you were capable of displaying the same consideration. You never thought how Remus would react if he had accidentally killed Severus. How it would permanently wound his soul to know that he was responsible for Severus' death. Is that not the ultimate betrayal? For Remus' sake, I kept the matter quiet. Severus has my absolute confidence, though I have failed him by not fully acknowledging his contributions to our war. We need to find him before anyone else does, for his life is in danger. You're all dismissed." Albus' voice cracked like a whip when he dismissed the Order.
The Order, realizing a dismissal when they heard one, left in mass except for Albus, Minerva and Remus. The werewolf waited until everyone left the room before he spoke. He sat on the edge of the table.
"I've always felt so old compared to Sirius. I always admired his joie de vivre, because he was so bloody irrepressible. Nothing ever fazed him. He and James… were everything I wasn't. Cool, popular. I never reined them in when I was a precept, because I was always terrified of losing their friendships. They harassed Severus unmercifully, and I never told them to stop, because I was secretly afraid that they'd turn on me," the werewolf quietly confessed.
Then Remus softly admitted, "You're not the only one that has failed Severus. I have. Let me help find him. My sense of smell is rather acute; I'd likely be able to determine his position before he even knew I had located him. The others, in order to confirm that it's him, will have to be risk being seen. I won't."
Albus questioningly glanced at Minerva, and then she slowly nodded her head once.
"Your highly developed sense of smell could be quite helpful, as we believed that Severus is being hidden by a witch. We're not sure who it might be, as we have reasonable proof that he won't return to He Who Must Not Be Named. Be careful, Remus," ordered Minerva.
"Under no conditions is Sirius to be involved," Albus reminded him. "He's done more than enough, and I have done nowhere near enough."
Remus nodded his head in acknowledgement, and then left the room.
Minerva let Albus stew in private for a bit, and then finally she had enough of his maudlin broodings.
"Albus, you need a break. Let's go to Diagon Alley. You can pick up some yarn in one of the shops, so you can knit baby booties," Minerva halfheartedly suggested. "Perhaps you could knit a matching blanket?"
"I could visit Slug & Jiggers Apothecary," Albus admitted. "I need some supplies."
Oxana Kameneva half heartedly entered Slug and Jiggers Apothecary in Diagon Alley. Sasha might love potions and the various components of his trade, but she thoroughly disliked the smell of Slug and Jiggers. One would think that as magi, the managers of the Apothecary would do something about the pungent odor that permeated the air. Even a half heartedly cast air freshening smell would be a noticeable improvement on the stench.
Carefully, she took out Sasha's list of needed supplies from Slug and Jiggers, and she grimaced when she saw that Sasha had magically added a few more supplies to the list. At this rate, she'd have to trade some of Sasha's more exotic potions to pay for everything.
A skein of unicorn hair? A plank of Holly wood? Branches of Willow? Wengewood, Indian Rosewoo and Oak rods? Bloody hell, you are seriously considering regrowing his arm! Are you building a brace? Where the hell am I supposed to get clamps of Desert Ironwood and Paduak? The wand shop?
Carefully, she schooled her features and located the Russian immigrant persona that she found quite useful at times. Strengthening her accent would help her be dismissed as a savage witch from the Old Country. Haughty Brit witches and wizards always looked down on foreign mages, their superiority complexes refusing to consider that a foreigner might know more than they did.
"I'd like some assistance please," she requested at the counter.
Naturally, the sales people were too busy to assist her, as they had far more important people with which to deal. Hissing her frustration, wishing that she could have brought Grisha with her as her familiar would be a good audience for a few astringent observations; she began to help herself to the various potions components.
What the bloody hell is vallmo, Sasha? Why do you need purple, not red, not white and most assuredly not yellow vallmo?
Albus and Minerva stepped into the highly organized chaos known as Slug & Jiggers. Albus was immediately assisted by several eager sales people and he had just completed his purchase in rapid order when there was a bit of an altercation.
"You there! You're not allowed to help yourself!" One of the saleswizards bellowed at a hapless customer.
The female witch bestowed a withering look upon the sales clerk. She was tall, athletic looking witch with grey streaked dark hair. Her clothes were nondescript, and there was nothing about her physically that would cause someone to give her a second glance.
"If no one wishes to help me, I must therefore help myself," curtly stated the witch. "Since you finally had decided to acknowledge my existence, perhaps you can tell me what exactly vallmo is. I was instructed to get the purple vallmo, not the red, white or yellow."
She had a strong Eastern European accent, and a rather no-nonsense look about her. There was a sense of familiarity about her, as though she and Minerva had met before. Minerva debated the issue and thought that perhaps the reason for the feeling of deja vu was that the witch reminded her a bit of Alastor Moody. Yes, the witch had both eyes and apparently possessed all her various original appendages in working condition, but there was a way she carried herself and how her eyes constantly inspected her surroundings as though expecting trouble.
"Vallmo?" The saleswizard snorted his disbelief at her request. "We don't have foreign potion ingredients here at Slug & Jiggers; we only carry proper Ministry approved supplies."
"I need purple vallmo. Where do you suggest I find it?" The witch's accent grew stronger as she seemed less than impressed with the sales help and was not afraid to voice her disatisfaction.
"Go to a Muggle herbologist shop as they might carry unapproved items. But I'd be worried about the quality of the product. You should use properly authorized potion components."
The saleswizard appeared unconcerned, and Minerva wasn't surprised when Albus interrupted the discussion.
"Vallmo is a Bulgarian form of poppy. The purple is used in the strongest painkilling potions, as the purple has a greater concentration of Thebaine. I highly doubt that they carry purple Vallmo here, as it's only used by Durmstrang-trained potion makers. There aren't many Durmstrang Potion Masters in London, I'm afraid," Albus regretfully admitted.
The witch muttered a caustic comment in Russian, and then she dramatically sighed.
"Any suggestions what I might be able to use instead? As you have correctly guessed, I'm picking up supplies for a Durmstrang Potions Master, who is apparently the only blessed one in all of the United Kingdom. Just my luck," she snapped.
"Papaver somniferum. Your Potions Master will need three times the amount of scarlet Papaver somniferum to equate the request amount of purple Vallmo. He'll need to rarefy the mixture down. Boil it for two hours over a blue flame. Make sure it's blue. If it's not, it won't be concentrated enough. The mixture will be a rather distinct shade of lemon," Albus explained. "In case he's concerned, the Bulgarian Ministry Potions Department authorized the exchange about three months ago."
"Thank you, sir. It is an honor to meet a true scholar among such rude savages," the Russian witch stated. She then made a formal bow. "I am Oxana Kameneva. As you can guess by my proper Received Pronunciation, I am an immigrant to this noble country."
"Honored to meet you. I am Albus Dumbeldore," Albus responded, complete with formal bow.
Minerva was watching the Russian witch, bemused how Albus could turn a simple shopping expedition into a tutoring session. Perhaps because she was watching the witch so intently, she noticed that the witch's eyebrow quirked ever so slightly.
"Forgive me for being presumptuous," the witch declared, though her voice held no apology. "Are you THE Albus Dumbledore? Hogwarts Headmaster? Renowned defeater of Gellert Grindelwald?"
"Yes, I am he," Albus admitted. "I'm must regretfully admit that most people believe that I'm taller."
The witch heard something in Albus' tone, as she again bowed.
"Forgiveness, Honored Sir. My Bulgarian Potion Master was profoundly affected by Gellert Grindelward's reign of horror. He rarely speaks of those Dark Times but he still experiences terrible night terrors. Perhaps, you may help me once more? I have a stepson, Adrik, who is expecting his first child later this year, and I would like the chance to read up on the hallowed Hogwarts and its traditions as I attended the Magical Academy of St. Petersburg. What book would you recommend?"
"Hogwarts, a History," Minerva inserted, as no doubt Kameneva didn't want to hear a two hour dissertation. "I'm Minerva McGonagall and I'm Deputy Headmistress at Hogwarts. I teach Transfiguration at Hogwarts. That's required reading for our First Years."
Again, the slightest reaction on behalf of the Russian witch when Minerva had mentioned her name.
"Honored to make your acquaintance," Oxana stated. "I most humbly thank you for your assistance. I must get back to purchasing potion supplies as my Potions Master has a patient he is treating. Hopefully, the staff will be more helpful. They have so far steadfastly ignored me."
Her tone was caustic.
"Then, perhaps I can continue to be of assistance. Bradley?" Albus called.
A young wizard jumped to attention.
"May I help you, Sir?" The sales clerk was literally quivering in his eagerness to help Dumbledore.
"Would it be possible for you to assist Ms. Kameneva here? I'm afraid your usual excellent customer service has failed her miserably," Albus easily requested, determinedly ignoring Bradley's crestfallen expression. "Madam, if I'm still Headmaster at Hogwarts in eleven years, I look forward to meeting your grandchild. We pride ourselves on providing the very best in magical education."
"It is a true shame that I won't be there to see you meet her," Oxana replied. "I could tell her how helpful you have been to her family and her."
Minerva detected the slightest whiff of amusement from the Russian witch which was swiftly repressed. The three of them then said their goodbyes, as Kameneva began to thoroughly bludgeon Bradley with a rapid fired list of exotic potion components.
"Tribulus terrestris? I need ten grams of it finely chopped. None of your backtalk about how it's unapproved by your blessed Ministry, Bradley. Find it for me, or do I need to ask the Estimable Dumbledore for further assistance?"
A subdued Albus seemed quite distracted after Slug & Jiggers, but continued to make various purchases at assorted shops, and Minerva finally stopped dead in front of him. The Headmaster nearly bumped into her, but managed to avoid her at the very lastminute.
"Where is your mind, Albus?" Minerva snapped. "I've been talking to you for the last fifteen minutes, and you just agreed with me that I should dye your hair scarlet and gold for the next Gryffindor Quidditch match."
"Perhaps, that is a bit ostentatious," Albus admitted. "Perhaps you could accept one long braid of scarlet and gold instead as an adequate display of Gryffindor spirit?"
Minerva's eyes narrowed and she said something distinctively unladylike.
"Very well, Minerva, there's no need to use that type of language. I'll tell you what's bothering me. That Russian Auror Kameneva, I've met her before, somewhere, but I can't remember where. There's something about her that's familiar to me, but I can't determine what it is. I'm thinking that it's important, Minerva."
"She's a Russian Auror? No wonder she reminded me so strongly of Mad Eye. I'm surprised they let her go, aren't they particularly zealous? Don't the Russian Aurors vow to defend the mother country until their coffin is nailed shut?" Minerva quipped.
"'That could be why she's so familiar, she does act like Mad Eye, and training at St. Petersburg means she was an Auror. The Russian Aurors experienced great losses tracking down Grindlewald's remaining forces, so she may have decided to retire after too much trauma. The Russians doggedly insisted that not all of Grindlewald's various lieutenants had been captured or killed, and made the unilateral decision to keep searching for them. About thirty years ago, you remember that horrific scandal about the Russian Auror's body being dumped in an alley in Geneva. They claimed she was on a skiing vacation and had been jumped, but my sources in Switzerland assured me that she was searching for Damyan Draganov as Russians were convinced that he was on the run."
"Draganov?" Minerva shook her head, signifying her disapproval. "His very name gives me chills."
"He's long dead, Minerva. They found his body, salted and then burned it. Bloody hell," Albus cursed as he stared at a flyer that had been tacked to a wall. The picture displayed a wild eyed, screaming Severus Snape bucking and jerking in a feeble attempt at escaping the hands of his jailers. It had been taken when Severus was much younger, during his brief stay at Azkaban and magically matured to his current age. "Look at that. They have flyers of Severus everywhere, offering a suitable reward for the capture of such a horrific Death Eater. Rufus is determined to prove to one and all that he's not Fudge."
"A ten thousand Galleons? Severus should be honored at such a price," Minerva quipped. "Bloody hell that means everyone will be searching for him."
"Yes," Albus admitted. "Let us return to Hogwarts, we might have good news waiting for us. If not, I need to start knitting. I truly fear that I purchased entirely too many knitting patterns. I may not get them all finished by September."
"Well, perhaps you don't have to complete them all by September. Several of those patterns are for toddlers."
The last few hours had been rather productive.
Oxana had managed to acquire all of Sasha's requested materials, and she had traded one small vial of Phoenix tears for all of the necessary potions supplies. The transaction had ended in her favor as she now had a heavy bag of galleons, sickles and knuts in her possession. She had several vials of Phoenix tears acquired during her years as an Auror, and she was willing to part with one vial in order not to bankrupt Sasha.
The Wandsmaster Ollivander had been quite helpful with providing the necessary wood, and their bartering session, while playfully bickering, had ended with a fair exchange. Damn her ethics, she didn't enjoying cheating honest folk when dickering about prices. Slug & Jiggers, on the other hand….
Wonders of wonders, Oxana had even met Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall, had been able to critically judge them and she was willing to admit to the remote possibility that Sasha was slightly biased in his view toward Dumbledore. Or perhaps the exhausted looking Dumbledore had changed over the succeeding decades, as God knew that Sasha was no longer the same man he had been sixty years previously.
Minerva, she had found herself instinctively liking, and she could easily imagine Adrik using her to buffer the worst of the force of nature known as Dumbledore. The witch seemed maternal and protective, and Oxana imagined that the witch unleashing her inner Boudicca was the sight to behold. She'd be in the back of the chariot, shrieking and holding a spear against her enemies. An irate Minerva would be a true force with which to be reckoned.
Oxana, being a rather strong willed witch, was quite partial to other forceful witches. In her biased opinion, there weren't enough of her iron-willed sisters in the world. Life would be so less complicated if the sisterhood was only a smidgeon stronger.
She had acquired the needed intel on Dumbledore by purchasing several books, and then, as Oxana had debated leaving Diagon Alley to return home, she had been drawn to the Magical Menagerie. In the front window, there had been a large sign that said, "FREE TO GOOD HOME!" In smaller letters, there was a disclaimer of "So sorry! Absolutely no returns accepted on this special, limited offer". She had watched in bemusement, as a hapless victim, wearing protective gloves, carefully placed a female Archangel cat in the window. The female cat was a magnificent example of the breed, and Oxana had to wince when the hissing cat viciously clawed the sales clerk, leaving an open gaping wound in his lower leg. Bits of muscles and tendons peeked through the ugly gouge.
"I hate that bloody cat!" screamed the ill fated sales clerk. "It's possessed by the bloody devil! We should just put it down."
Well, since the cat was free to a good home, and Sasha didn't possess a familiar, she had acquired Nadya. She had a long discussion with Nadya about how such rude behavior would not be accepted in her new home, and a purring Nadya had demurely agreed to meet Sasha to see if they were suitable bondmates. Again, she had ended up quite well in the deal, as the manager of the Magical Menagerie had given her a large stipend for plasters, potions and other needed medical supplies just as long as she swore an oath never to return the cat to them.
Grisha greeted her with a worried purr when she returned home, heavily loaded with various purchases. His ears flattened when he realized that there was something living among her many acquisitions. He was quite protective of his status as Lord and Master of the residence, and he was loathe to share his personal retainers with anyone.
"Leave Nadya alone," she chastised her familiar. "I bought her for Sasha. He needs a familiar, and I thought you might like a girlfriend."
Grisha made a chirping noise of appreciation, and then he sounded his worried purr. He pushed against her leg, as though wanting her to follow him.
"All right! All right! I'm coming! I'm coming! Nadya, I'll be back in a few minutes."
All in all, a good day, until she had gotten home and Sasha wasn't there to greet her. What the bloody hell had happened?
"Is it Adrik?" she asked Grisha, who loudly trilled an agreement.
"Damn it, what the bloody hell has happened now?" Oxana groaned.
Voldemort's anger grew by leaps and bounds when he heard Severus Snape had left Hogwarts.
"He has betrayed me," he growled.
"Actually, my Lord, I must respectfully disagree," Lucius Malfoy carefully stated as he secretly feared that both his wife and son had something to do with Severus' disappearance. "If anything, his disappearance from Hogwarts is truly inspired."
"Go on," Voldemort snapped. "I fail to see how Severus disappearing from Hogwarts means that he's following my explicit instructions."
"You wished him to be a distraction to Dumbledore. Will not Dumbledore be forced to spend time looking for Severus? Also the Ministry and the Muggles Police Departments are searching for him. If there are several sightings of Severus in various locations, would not they be forced to investigate each and every sighting? Would it not diminish their ability to stand against you? My Lord, Severus Snape has created a potential for distraction far greater than you had first envisioned. He should be commended, not castigated, for his initiative."
Lucius paused, and he attempted to hide his nervousness.
"You shouldn't be so nervous, Lucius, when offering your opinion. Yes, you're quite right; Severus has given me a golden opportunity. We still have Polyjuice and various bits and pieces of Severus from his vacation with us. You're to find Muggles, Confound them, and give them the Polyjuice. Then release them in several heavily populated areas, and enjoy the terror and the chaos. While everyone is concentrating on Severus, we will plague the Muggles."
Voldemort laughed, and it was a chilling sound.
"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war!"
A/N # 3 Oxana is a little biased against British mages so her opinions on Britons are suspect. Perhaps the reason why the salesclerks in Slug and Jiggers were ignoring her as they get a commission based on sales? Not because she was Russian? :D