Title: Fatal
Rating: M
Warning: Slash, Language
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I simply dabble blindly, without direction or purpose.
A/N: Finally just a little splash of humor, after so much angst-y sadness. Thanks for the few that reviewed, I really appreciate it. Even just a little, I enjoyed it, always makes me smile. This story has taken a little different twist, and I've realized the whole story is very Genma-Centric in a way I hadn't originally planned. But, I do so adore the damned cute senbon-sucker. Anyways, hope you enjoy the new chapter and leave me a review.
Chapter Four: It's Going To Be Okay, Eventually
Genma scrambled from Kakashi's lap to sit next to Hayate. The two were instantly stunned by Kakashi's unmasked face, the aristocratic jaw, the nearly translucent pale skin, the slightly pouted mouth and lean cheeks one with a scar down it, the other flawless. Kakashi slowly pushed his hitai-ate up letting it drop to the floor behind him with a dull thud, leaving his eye uncovered. He opened his left eye slowly, blinking a few times as his vision adjusted and slowed. Genma decided instantly that the mismatched eyes only added to the ultimate beauty that Kakashi Hatake possessed.
"Uh," Kakashi said suddenly nervous, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his head slightly as the two men continued to stare at him with openly fascinated expressions.
"Wow," Hayate whispered softly.
"Well fuck me," Genma said a few moments later, causing Hayate to laugh and cough deeply against his clenched hand. Hayate turned dark eyes towards Genma, watching the older man's face light up with joy and awe, realizing that he would be okay again eventually. It would take some time, and it would be rough but eventually they'd all be just fine.
"Was that an offer?" Kakashi questioned lips quirking up into a smirk.
"Oh god, it's so much hotter actually seeing it, and not just knowing he's smirking underneath that devil mask. I set forth a new law that Kashi is from this day forward never allowed to wear that mask around when it's just us," Genma said slowly. And Hayate could do nothing but nod enthusiastically in agreement. Kakashi scowled slightly in embarrassment, turning his head away from the two.
"A law? Honestly Genma! It's not even that –"
"Don't you dare," Genma said quickly his eyes suddenly serious as Kakashi turned his head to look at the older man. "Because it is, you look fucking edible." Kakashi grumbled in annoyance at how easily Genma could read him, but didn't turn away again or continue forth with his previous statement.
"Wanna bite?" Kakashi said suddenly, lips quirking at the corners as his eyes narrowed slightly. Genma fell backwards against the floor harshly, hands rubbing over his eyes as he moaned loudly.
"Just kill me now," Genma whimpered.
"I know," Hayate agreed, squirming slightly. Kakashi tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow and Hayate hit Genma's leg harshly causing the older male to groan. "God, look Genma!" He practically squealed in childish delight, causing Genma to prop himself up quickly to look at Kakashi, before groaning and flopping back to the floor. Kakashi's face bloomed suddenly, a red flush playing across his face and Hayate could do nothing but continue to stare and drink in every emotion playing across the handsome face before him, as Genma continued to whimper and moaned pitifully on the ground.
"Are you two," Kakashi started his voice rough, shaking his head and pulling nervously at the hem of his shirt. He wasn't exactly sure what there was to be nervous about, but he hadn't shown many people his face since he was extremely young, and he'd never had the reaction he was currently getting before. Some people stared in surprise and then blushed awkwardly; others looked confused for a while before inquiring as to why he covered up his face if there wasn't anything wrong with it. But Kakashi had never deemed anyone worthy enough before to know the true reasons behind his mask. Besides the fact that he'd never left his face uncovered for this long had him itching to replace the mask, but he knew that he never would again wear the mask around them if they didn't want him to.
"Yes," Genma groaned, now squirming against the ground, hands clenching at his sides. "Oh god, yes we are." Kakashi's eyes widened, and the blush on his face darkened. He squirmed slightly himself, noticing the way Hayate was currently looking at him, as if he was trying to memorize everything about his face and expressions currently. Hayate smirked suddenly, winking at Kakashi who nearly choked on his own tongue, and coughed slightly. Sweet, innocent Hayate had just winked, and Kakashi thought his face was going to catch on fire. "Huh?" Genma sat up then, looking between the two. " 'Yate, what'd you do?"
"Me?" Hayate said, smiling innocently at Kakashi. "I haven't done a thing," Kakashi squirmed, hands twitching more, as he attempted to look anywhere but at the two men sitting before him but his traitor of a red eye wouldn't let him look anywhere else. "Yet, that is." Kakashi's entire face and upper body flushed instantly.
"You broke Kashi!" Genma exclaimed, his voice full of giddy laughter. Kakashi growled, his hand automatically lifting towards his mask without thought.
"Kashi, don't," Hayate whispered softly, suddenly sorry for turning the whole affair into a joking manner when this moment was important to Kakashi in a way they still couldn't quite understand. Genma slid forward quickly his face a reflection of soft remorse; he ran long fingers against Kakashi's face, brushing over high cheekbones, and down a strong jaw.
"You're extremely beautiful," Genma said before pressing a soft kiss against Kakashi's cheek. Hayate leaned forward, pressing against Genma's back and pressing a kiss against Kakashi's other cheek.
"Genma is right you know," Hayate said leaning back, running his own finger down the opposite side of Kakashi's face, softly tracing the scar that ran from eyebrow to the corner of his mouth. Hayate leaned forward again, pressing a chaste kiss against the corner of Kakashi's mouth before whispering softly, "You're so beautiful, Kashi."
"I'm a guy, in case you forgot. I'm not supposed to be beautiful" Kakashi scoffed, though he couldn't keep the smile from his eyes. Genma frowned before pressing a finger to Kakashi's left eyebrow, and sliding it down closing his left eye and soft kissing the scar that ran over it.
"You'll tire yourself out that way," Genma said softly in explanation.
"And give yourself a headache," Hayate supplied.
"Not to mention, I can already feel less chakra," Genma continued.
"And your eyebrows had started to furrow slightly," Hayate accused, softly pushing a finger against the middle of Kakashi's forehead.
"Okay okay," Kakashi said, raising his hands in mock defeat. "Now I feel like I have two mothers, when I didn't even have one before today. I just wanted to remember it, exactly the way it happened."
"Kashi?"
"What kid?" Kakashi asked softly, noticing the pensive look on Hayate's face and smiling as he watched Hayate's youthful face flash a deeply with annoyance.
"I'm not a kid, for one," Hayate stated in a huff. "And I was just curious, why do you wear that mask?"
"He's always worn it, ever since the academy" Genma said, leaning his head against Hayate's shoulder and watching Kakashi's face closely for any signs of discomfort. He wanted the pieces of the story he hadn't yet figured out just as badly as Hayate seemed to want the entire story, but he wouldn't make that happen at Kakashi's expense. They could always wait to hear it for another time, it wasn't overly important after all.
"Gen's right, it's hard for me to even remember back when I didn't wear it. It's changed over the years, the reasons behind continuing to wear it. Why I started, why I didn't stop, why I still do. It's not fueled by one continuous reason." Kakashi said, reaching out a hand to pull at Hayate's hair softly. Hayate smiled indulgently at Kakashi, dark eyes bright with contentment.
"You don't have to tell the story now," Genma said softly, eyes blinking slowly as Hayate's warmth lulled him into a state of half asleep relaxation. Kakashi chuckled as he noticed Genma's hooded eyes, and sleepy smile.
"Wake up Shiranui," Kakashi said poking Genma's chest roughly. "I'm telling the story now, 'Yate wants to know." Genma grumbled against Hayate's neck, placing a soft kiss there before pushing himself away from the welcoming warmth.
"I'm up. I'd like to hear also, I just didn't want to push you," Genma said, head tilting slightly.
"I know," Kakashi said softly, smiling as he rubbed at the base of his neck. "I initially decided to wear it because of my father. Because I'm nearly his replica really, even with my face covered people that shouldn't know my relations always seem to know. He was viewed as a traitor by most, someone worthless and useless for letting his mission fail. Even his teammates turned on him eventually, and I'm sure you both have heard the story a million times, it's still whispered in the shadows from time to time." Genma and Hayate both nodded slightly, small frowns adorning both of their mouths. "And so that's where it all began. I was just a child, hiding behind the mask because I didn't want to be seen in the same light as my father, back then I was following the rules so meticulously it ended up working against me. In the end it caused me to lose Obito because I wanted to just leave Rin behind, because the mission was more important than any teammate. I learned a valuable lesson that day, as well as gained an invaluable gift that has brought both pain and joy to my life." Kakashi casually rubbed at his left eye, allowing himself a moment to remember Obito, the boy who'd taught him so much in such a short time.
"Kashi," Hayate murmured, reaching for Kakashi's hand. Kakashi smiled softly, allowing Hayate to clutch onto his hand tightly.
"It doesn't hurt as much as it used to, does it," Genma whispered, it was a statement more than a question. Because Genma knew parts of Kakashi that he'd hide so long ago, away from the world that just didn't seem to understand the cautious and hurting boy he'd been back then. Nor the still fragile and scared, and sometimes dangerously dark man we was slowly becoming because of a village that had turned his precious genius and gifted eye into nothing but a weapon for their manipulation. Genma frowned softly, as he watched emotions he'd rarely ever seen pass of Kakashi's face in rapid succession.
"I remember him with a smile most days, though still with guilt and a bitter anger at my youthful foolishness. But still, in the end he got exactly what he wanted. He was an amazing young shinobi, loyal to his village, his friends and his family. After him I no longer felt hatred and betrayal for my father, but a sense of understanding. My father hadn't given up so much as just given in. The pain of friends, comrades, and his entire village turning against him had been so strong that he had been at the end of his rope so to say. It was either leave, or die. And after much reflection on the entire ordeal, I realized my father would never purposely die in battle because that could possibly ruin a mission or endanger his team, he would never defect from this village because he loved it far too much, and so he was left with but one option to stop the pain within his own heart. I no longer hold that against him," Kakashi's voice broke slightly, as tears leaked from beneath the lashes of his closed eye.
"Obito always seems to shed the tears you won't allow yourself to shed," Hayate whispered softly, tilting his head to watch as Genma's face clenched with his own pain. Hayate knew that Genma wasn't used to seeing a sad Kakashi, he was used to the joyful perverted Kakashi, or the dark dangerous Kakashi, even the falsely content Kakashi. Hayate reached for Genma's hand with his own free hand, offering comfort to the two most important people in his life as they silently dealt with their own deeply hidden demons.
"Obito always was a cry baby," Kakashi started again, after giving himself a few moments. "But, I don't mind the tears these days because I'm nothing short of grateful to him. Though I no longer needed to cover my face due to the shame and anger towards my father, I continued to wear it because it made me feel safe and secure. I'd just been made a jonin when Obito had died. And I'd bumbled my way through the entire mission, failing and failing to make the right choices. In the end though, the mission stopped mattering, how good I was stopped mattering, how strong I became stopped mattering. And so, I continued to hide behind the mask for a different reason."
"Because you were hurting," Genma said softly, his head turned away from Kakashi and Hayate.
"Yes, I was hurting. And I continued to hurt as I later lost the Fourth, and Rin." Kakashi wanted to stop, wanted to take it back so that Genma wouldn't have to deal with this sad, bitter, broken part of him. Because Hayate knowing and having to learn how deal with it was too much on its own without the addition of Genma as well. Kakashi knew that his past wasn't a pretty story, but he also knew that it would only make matters worse if he continued to hide his sadness from Genma. "So, I continued to use the mask as a barrier. It kept people away, kept them intrigued but not enough to work up the nerve to approach me. I've used the mask to cover my face because of shame, then hurt, then anger, and then just acceptance. I've come to terms with the fact that I've become the Copy-Nin, Kakashi of the Sharingan. A title I don't wear with pride, because it's just another reminder of my failures, my mistakes, and my bitter painful past. And yet, I still fight. Every day I wake up fighting, struggling, but still surviving. "
"So why don't you take it off now then?" Hayate questioned softly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Because he's a weapon now," Genma said softly, pulling his hand from Hayate's and pushing to his feet. Kakashi and Hayate watched with cautious eyes as Genma wandered towards the window, painfully aware of the deep pain within his own chest. "Kakashi Hatake has become Konoha's greatest weapon. Without that mask he loses a piece of himself, a piece of the weapon, a piece of his slightly shattered humanity."
"Don't say that!" Hayate said harshly, eyes worried suddenly as he looked at Kakashi.
"Why not?" Kakashi said with a soft smile. "It's the truth Hayate. My humanity, my sanity, my entire being isn't entirely whole. How could it be with what I've been through, with the missions I take, with the life I lead?"
"You're a shinobi 'Yate, you should understand." Genma said, his voice soft yet firm as he looked out the window. "Kakashi isn't broken, but he is a weapon. He's a shinobi, and a damn good one. One of the best to ever come out of this village. He's not only a genius, but was a child prodigy. He had impressive skill far before he even got that eye from Obito. How could he not after all he became a chunin at the mere age of six. Six years old and already being sent out on missions, where he was forced into situations his brain shouldn't even had been thinking about. But that's what happens, that's the reality behind it all, that's the sort of life we've all chosen."
"Six?" Hayate whispered.
"You didn't know," Kakashi questioned, his eyes slightly wide.
"That would mean you where a chunin before Genma?" Hayate tried to wrap his brain around that knowledge, at the same time he was trying to figure out how he hadn't ever heard about how young Kakashi had been.
"Yes. He graduated before me, took and passed his chunin test before me, and then passed his jonin test eventually. He's always outranked me." Genma said, turning to look back at the two younger men. "He's always been stronger, but I've never not worried."
"I never knew," Hayate said softly, squeezing Kakashi's hand.
"It was long ago," Kakashi said. "It's hard to even remember the academy, or passing the tests. My childhood, was a blur of training, lessons and missions. It all just sort of fades into one big jumbled mess that I really would rather forget about."
"I still can't stop myself from feeling sorry for you, for the childhood you missed." Hayate said softly, hand still securely over Kakashi's but his eyes were once again watching Genma, who had turned back to look out the window.
"Why do you think I act so childish now?" Kakashi asked softly, bumping Hayate playfully with his shoulder. Hayate smiled, and pulled on Kakashi's arm catching him off guard and causing them to tumble to the floor in a pile of tangled limbs. Kakashi chuckled as Hayate broke off into a broken mixture of coughing and laughing. Genma glanced back over his shoulder, watching as the two younger men mock wrestled one another across the floor of his living room. Sighing to himself he ran twitching hands over his face as he turned to look out at the calm village below, he suddenly felt much older than his simple age of Twenty-Four.
He couldn't quite fathom how they could joke and laugh about such an unfairly cruel situation, but Genma also realized that his heart was prone to weakness, emotional turmoil and he'd never be as strong of a shinobi as the two younger boys were. He held onto the belief that everyone else mattered more than him, and though he could fight and he had an intelligence viewed as higher than most of his comrades, he was still soft. Soft Genma with the loving eyes, he'd hated the teasing when he'd been younger, hated how true it all was. He could pretend and act as calm and collected as he wanted, but deeply hidden beneath all those layers he feared and worried everyday of his life for his friends, his village, the most important people in his life.
Hayate coughed deeply his body shaking, as he groaned pressing a hand to his chest. Kakashi frowned down at Hayate who was currently pinned beneath him, and Genma's attention was drawn away from his musings at the window. Genma was beside them instantly, leaning over Hayate as he pressed a hand against his forehead softly.
"Well that was short lived," Hayate groaned in frustration, knowing his body was still too exhausted to be messing around with Kakashi as he had been.
"You shouldn't be out of bed," Genma said evenly. "And you really should be sleeping."
"Then take me back," Hayate whispered softly, leaning up to bite Genma's ear harshly. Genma cursed quietly arching against Kakashi who he was currently pressed up against, as Kakashi laughed deeply.
"Fuck - You two are going to be the death of me, honestly," Genma whined. But he couldn't find it in him to be all that upset about it. It had been a long day, and he was starting to feel the emotional toll that the day had taken on his own body.
"You think we can all fit in your bed, Gen-Gen?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head to catch Genma's eyes.
"Hmm," Genma's brow furrowed as he turned his head towards the hallway squinting slightly as if he was trying to see his bed through the walls. He bit his lip, before yelping slightly, as pain coursed over his lip and up his jaw.
"I meant to ask about that earlier," Hayate said, as he leaned over and pressed a cold finger against Genma's lip. Genma sighed against the coolness, leaning into the touch slightly. "It's bleeding again, you've sliced it open in a few places, bruised it up pretty bad too."
"My poor face," Genma said around Hayate's finger and a chuckle.
"Such a pretty face too," Kakashi said, getting to his feet slowly.
"I spit my senbon out after you'd collapsed, and I guess I haven't really been in a totally sane state of mind since then," Genma said softly, winking and smiling slightly in an attempt to ease away the frown that had marred Hayate's mouth.
"Oh," Hayate said. "Well –" He paused to cough, annoyance brushing across his eyes. "Let's head to bed, someone carry me," He demanded with a pout on his pretty young mouth, lifting his arms slightly. Genma got to his feet, rubbing his eyes with his hands softly. He turned to look at Kakashi slightly, who was looking right back at him openly. Hayate sat there, arms out stretched for a while, before he huffed in annoyance, "What is this? I offer myself up and neither of you wants to touch me!"
Kakashi rolled his eyes, but a smile broke across his face shattering his illusion of disinterest. He nudged Genma with his elbow softly, tilting his head in suggestion. Genma's eyes traced over Kakashi's for a moment, his hesitation due to uncertainty, before he nodded and turned to smile down at Hayate. Genma bent, sliding his arms under Hayate who quickly wrapped his own arms around Genma's neck tightly.
"Don't drop me you oaf," Hayate said softly around a deep cough, as Genma lifted him into the air.
"I don't think I should be called an oaf, Kakashi's bigger than me," Genma said reasonably.
"But he's super graceful," Hayate murmured, sleep deprivation bombarding him suddenly as he snuggled deeper into Genma's warmth.
"Oi, did you just say I'm ungraceful," Genma whined, before promptly stumbling over a misplaced shoe. He righted himself cursing under his breath, before continuing towards his bedroom, Kakashi's soft footsteps close behind him. He could feel Hayate chuckling quietly against his shoulder, "Don't even say it."
"Okay," Hayate whispered before nuzzling his face into Genma's neck. Genma sighed softly, tilting his head to lean down and kiss Hayate.
They struggled and wiggled around in the bed, before getting comfortable together. Genma laid sprawled in the middle of the bed as Kakashi curved against his side comfortable leg tossed over Genma's, and Hayate laid half curled across Genma's chest close enough to have one hand interlocked with one of Kakashi's.
"Love you," Hayate whispered softly, smiling as two 'I love yous' answered softly before he allowed his body to nod off into unconsciousness. Kakashi and Genma watched in silence as Hayate slowly fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
"Gen-Gen," Kakashi said softly, brushing his nose against the older man's cheek.
"Yeah?" Genma whispered.
"I am sorry, we both are. I know we already said it, and you know everything now. We really didn't mean for it to happen that way. It's just, it was mostly my fault, I was worried that you wouldn't want me like that and I was almost positive you wanted Hayate like that. But me and you haven't always been as close in the physical sense. And you knew so much about my past that I just, I was scared I guess. Hayate's always been so open and close to both of us because it's just in his nature to be so affectionate. I just guess I was worried that you not wanting me, would hurt Hayate because he couldn't have you either because he'd never break his promise to me, even though I wanted him to tell you alone" Kakashi whispered, his voice soft. Genma slid his arm around Kakashi, pulling him closer.
"It would have been the same," Genma said softly. "I'd never have been able to be with one, without the other. It was never one of you more than the other, it wasn't even one of you before the other. You've both always mattered to me, it was just a slow progress of emotions. You're both important, I love and care about both of you, and – " Genma trailed off softly, looking down at Kakashi intently.
"And, what?" Kakashi asked softly, looking up at Genma.
"I'm attracted to both of you," Genma finished, leaning down to capture Kakashi's mouth in a sweet kiss. Kakashi leaned back after a few moments, smiling softly up at Genma.
"Thank you," Kakashi whispered. Genma simply ran his fingers through Kakashi's silver locks, before frowned softly. "What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, noticing the change in Genma's face instantly. Genma's hand left Kakashi's hair instantly, as he reached over to the table beside his bed, shuffling through the drawer for a few moments. Kakashi frowned and started to roll over, before a cloth was softly wrapped around his head, covering his left eye.
"I didn't want you to have to struggle with it while you fall asleep, or forget and have it shock you when you wake up tomorrow," Genma said easily, at Kakashi's searching look. Kakashi relaxed into Genma's arms, sighing softly. And Genma smiled, rubbing his cheek against Kakashi's bent head.
"I'm glad you know now, but I'm not happy about how it happened," Kakashi said after a few moments of silence, his voice broken and shaking with emotion.
"Let's not worry about it anymore, okay?" Genma said softly, neither angry nor hurt anymore. He knew it was partially his own fault for not noticing the way they looked and acted towards him also. As well as not telling them the truth so long ago, when it would have saved so much hurt for all of them. It was a situation that could have been avoided, but the hearts of elite shinobi are far more fragile than they like to openly admit. Genma knew it would take him a little while to think he was completely welcome, but that was something he would deal with on his own. They'd all been hurt enough, and Genma didn't want to bring any more hurt into their relationship or friendship.
"Okay," Kakashi said softly, his voice small and Genma couldn't help but think that he sounded a bit like a small scared child that was waiting to be punished or pushed aside.
"I love you," Genma said so suddenly and fiercely that Kakashi tensed slightly as Genma tilted his head so the younger man would look at him. "I love you."
"I love you too," Kakashi said around a smile, his heart feeling light and free, more of the ice and pain chipping away. "Thank you," Kakashi whispered, his eye blinking slowly. Genma smiled, and nestled Kakashi back against his shoulder.
"Sleep now, Kashi."
"Okay," Kakashi whispered, and allowed himself to slowly fall asleep, no longer scared to close his eyes. Knowing the nightmares couldn't touch him here, not within the safe confines of Genma's arms, surrounded by the love of the two most precious people in his world.
Genma allowed himself a few moments alone with the awareness that both Hayate and Kakashi were currently wrapped within his arms, trusting, loving and needing him. He allowed those thoughts to soothe his bruised and battered heart, a few more of the old painful memories slipping away into the darkness. Genma stayed awake much longer, just basking in the warmth and trying to turn off his traitorous mind that once again seemed to want to revolt against his newly found happiness.