Kate took a steadying breath and holstered her weapon. She could feel her hands shaking, and clasped them together to try and quell the tremors. Kate crossed the room and kicked Derek's gun aside. Placing two fingers on his throat, she found no trace of a pulse.

She shuffled quickly over to Castle. Her hands hovered just out of reach, hesitant and unsure. For the first time, she could truly see Castle's injuries up close. If she thought there had been a lot of blood before, it was even worse crouching now in front of him. Her stomach flipped at the coppery smell lingering in the air. Going to crime scenes and seeing blood is one thing; but seeing so much on Castle, someone she knew, she cared for… was different.

My god. He looks like he went to hell and back. What did he do to you, Rick?

Her fingertips brushed Castle's cheek lightly, tracing the jagged cut. Deep purple bruising blossomed around the wound, and enveloped the entire side of his face. His nose and lip were swollen, with traces of blood trailing from both. Kate pulled her eyes away from Castle's face, and inspected him for other injuries. She cringed at the deep laceration to his forearm and could only imagine the stinging pain he must have felt. Even lower, she saw blood saturating the front of his dress shirt. Gingerly, she unbuttoned the shirt and peeled it away from his skin. A gasp escaped her lips at what she saw.

A serrated, gaping wound marred Castle's pale skin. Opening the fabric further, Kate saw bruises littering Castle's stomach and torso. Anger flared in the pit of her stomach. Castle had endured hours, hours of torture at the hands of that sick bastard. Kate swore in to the weighty silence of the apartment. Oh Castle. Rick. I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. Kate shook Castle's arm, trying to rouse him.

"Castle? Hey, Castle look at me."

No response.

Shit.

"Come on Castle…Rick. I need you to open your eyes for me."

Nothing. This was not good. Kate tapped his cheek and called out to him one more time. Still nothing.

She needed help. And fast.

Keeping one hand lightly on Castle's arm, Kate whipped out her cell phone and dialed in reinforcements.

About 5 minutes later, two EMT's were swarming in around her to try and get to Castle. Kate moved out of the medic's way, but remained close, vigilant. She wasn't going to let him out of her sight. Not yet.

She watched the flurry of activity surrounding Castle. The medics had freed him from the chair and were now laying him down on a stretcher. The two swapped medical jargon back and forth, with Kate catching words like "BP dropping" and "heart rate weak and thready". She wasn't a medical expert, and had no clue what the two EMT's were talking about, but she could read people. And the expressions on the medic's faces were grim.

"What is it? What's wrong? Please…just tell me what's going on!" Kate cried, fear creeping into her voice.

"Ma'am just let us do our-"

"Please…please just tell me he will be ok," Kate managed, emotion making her voice thick.

"At this point…honestly we need to get him to the hospital, and fast," one of the EMT's said.

With that, both medics stood up, bringing the stretcher up with them. Castle moaned a little at the movement. His eyelids fluttered, but remained shut.

"Castle? Castle can you hear me?" Kate said as she ran to the stretcher's side, pushing one of the medics out of the way. Getting no response, she wrapped Castle's hand in her own and squeezed it tight.

"Please Castle, just stay with me," Kate whispered.

"Ma'am we have to leave now."

"Oh right, sorry."

Hurrying alongside the stretcher, Kate kept her eyes fixed on Castle's face. She couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes from the face of the man she loves. Her chest tightened and she gave his hand another reassuring squeeze. The group reached the elevator just as the doors opened, revealing Ryan and Esposito.

"Guys, thank god you got my text. Lock down his apartment…and call Lanie, we've got a body. I'll explain when I can. When you're done, meet me at the hospital."

The two detectives vacated the elevator to let the medics through. They stared at the man on the stretcher and barely recognized him.

"Is that…" Ryan stuttered, unable to fully comprehend what he was seeing.

"Yeah, bro. Beckett-" Esposito began, anger and confusion playing across his face.

"I'll…um…explain later. We have to go," Kate responded quietly as the elevator doors shut.

Ryan looked at Esposito, and Esposito looked back at Ryan. Their eyes conveyed all that was left unsaid in the air between them.

Clearing his throat, Esposito broke the silence, "Bro, we should…we should secure the scene and call Lanie. Like Beckett said."

"Yeah. Um. Let's go."

The two detectives were lost in their own thoughts as they entered Castle's loft. What they saw made them stop in their tracks. Chairs were overturned, a body lay near the kitchen table, and there was blood. A lot of blood. What the hell happened here?

Beckett trailed behind the stretcher as she hurried to keep pace with the EMT's. They barreled through the hospital doors, swapping information with the doctors and issuing commands. Through the commotion, Kate heard a machine beep loudly.

"We're losing him!"

A nurse blocked Kate's determined path and she watched helplessly as Castle was wheeled through the Emergency Room doors, doctors surrounding his stretcher. The doors swung shut, and suddenly it seemed as if the whole world had gone quiet. Just as suddenly as the mayhem from the ambulance arrival had begun, it ended abruptly, leaving Kate uncertain in the hospital lobby.

The NYPD detective let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. She somehow found her way over to an uncomfortable hospital chair. It was as if she was in a daze. Everything seemed to happen so quickly, and race by her in streaks, but it also went by painfully, agonizingly slow. Minutes felt like hours, but also like seconds. She lost all track of time, and didn't know how long she sat there for.

"We're losing him!"

"We need to get him to the hospital."

"He's flat lining!"

A nurse putting a glass of water on the table beside her shook Kate from her haunted thoughts. Warm blue eyes looked down at her and the nurse gave her a small smile.

"Don't worry darling, your husband is in good hands."

Kate opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She weakly nodded her head in gratitude as the nurse turned away and walked back to the nurse's station. Dropping her head in to her hands, Kate released all the emotions she had been feeling since first stepping through Castle's door. She let out all the fear, anger, sadness, despair, anxiety and worry. Tears streamed down her face and slipped silently to the tiled floor of the hospital waiting room.

He flat lined in the ambulance. They got him back after a minute…but it felt like a lifetime. Oh god Rick, is this how you felt? Is this how you felt when I was lying there? What if I never see you again? What if I never hear your voice again? What if I never get to tell you I love you?

Kate's heart shattered at the last thought. She didn't think she could lose him to. He'd gotten closer than anybody had. He'd been the only one who kept fighting for her, for every inch, for every brick he tore down from her wall. She had let him in more that anyone else. And now she could lose him.

Oh, god.

Kate jerked her head up in realization. No one had told Martha or Alexis. Fumbling in her jacket pocket for her phone, Kate angrily wiped the tears from her eyes and scrolled through her contacts searching for the two Castle women. Finding Alexis' contact, she quickly dialed the number and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Alexis. It's Detective Beck-Kate. It's Kate."

"Oh hey Kate. Is everything all right? You never call me…" The young girl paused. "Is this about my dad? Is he okay? Please Detective…please Kate tell me he's okay."

Kate's heart wrenched at the naked fear in Alexis' voice. Clearing her throat, and reigning in her emotions, Kate replied, "Alexis, it's your dad. I'll explain more when you get here. Find your grandmother and come to Mount Sinai Hospital."

Kate heard a gasp from the other side of the phone. She heard Alexis shakily say she was on her way and hang up. Putting down her own phone, she stared blankly at the screen. Castle had put a picture of himself and Alexis as Alexis' caller ID.

She didn't realize she was crying again until a teardrop splattered on her phone screen. She cradled the phone to her chest, trying to hold Castle close, keep him close. Hot tears stained her cheeks as Kate wept in the corner of the hospital waiting room, not knowing whether Castle would live or die.