I slowly kneaded the string bracelet between my fingers with frown on my forehead trying to not to snap at Cato. He was marching up and down, muttering obscenitites under his breath. His eyes flashed angrily to me so I poked tongue at him. He quickly turned around with a shake of his head and went further away, clearly unable to be in my presence. I sighed and turned my face to the warm sun, closing my eyes.
He was on a war rampage wanting to chase Peeta to finish him of. I get it that he was mad that he didn't take him down at the first swipe because he never misses. But this was getting ridiculous. I liked the goofy side of him better than this.
I yawned suddenly, tired. The night's encounter with Vale flashed across my mind and I unsconciously shuddered. After the intial sentence he just stood there looking at me with blank expression on his face. From such fright at seeing his face I dropped the plastic bottles on the pebbles under our feet. My hearth wanted to jump from my chest and cold sweat covered my whole body. I stood there shaking like a leaf from the fear and the coldness of the lake water. And he just stood there. When I came to my senses I bent to pick the bottles up, my back tense, mind ready for any kind of an attack. Maybe I would have been happier if something have happend, I don't know. I am probably just thinking stupid thoughts right now, but the fact that he never hurt me directly apart form the knife throwing, makes me more anxious and nervous. When I had the bottles safely in my hands, I started walking away from him.
When I got back to the camp, I didn't say anything. You may think I was being stupid but I didn't want them to make anything rash. Especially Cato. I could have called for their help at the lake, but at those circumstances I wasn't able to think properly. Even though I stayed at Cato's side for the rest of the night, I couldn't bring myself to sleep peacefully untill early morning hours when the sun started to peak out from behind the tree line.
Cato's rant about killing everybody off woke me up. Marvel was trying to reason with him, but unsuccessfully. Clove was standing right next to them, ready to put in her two cents if needed. When she saw that I was awake she rolled her eyes at me and almost unnoticable nudged her head in Cato's direction. I looked at him quickly. His eyes were ablaze, the veins in his storng arms thick with blood rushing in them, hand grasped tightly around the hilt of the sword. So I sneaked up behind him, trying to be as quiet as possible, pinched his butt and in the moment of surprise took the sword away from him.
That's why is he so angry right now because I'm sitting on it, refusing to move unless he calms down.
"Could you stop being so childisch and give me back my sword?" Cato asked from behind me.
"I will if you stop being so idiotic." I answered without even cracking one eye open. Cato grunted in annoyance at my answer and moved in front of me.
"You're blocking the sun buddy. Move please. I'm not interested in having one side of face tanned and the other not. Thank you." I said an advance, hoping he'll move. I wiggled my butt a bit trying to find myself a comfortable position, so that I won't get stabbed unintentionally.
"Piss off and then I'll move." Came a response from above.
"Uff. Getting vocal, aren't we? Who learned you that word. Didn't your mommy teach you better?" I asked mockingly in fake high voice.
After few seconds of silence I opened my eyes looking at Cato quizzically, wondering why he was so quiet. He suddenly bent to my level.
"You should have known not to bring my mother into this." The underlying tone in his voice made me instnly feel giulty about it. I opened my mouth to apologize, but instead of words, breath was knocked out of me. He scooped me on his one arm, the other presumably taking the hidden sword. His fingers were digging uncomfortably in my side, my head swishing in the air.
Few seconds after that he tossed me in the air and another pair of amrs caught me. That person put me down right away. I regained my balance and searched for that stupid blonde person. He was walking to the forest. I pushed the hair out of my eyes and took a deep breath.
"I swear to God I will do something nasty if you go there." I screamed after him. Yet he had the nerve to wave back and not even turn around.
I turned around to look at Marvel and Clove. Jeremy stood quite far away, watching the spot wher Cato dissapeared in the forest.
"Don't worry about him." Marvel said and put his arm around my shoulders, mistaking my emotions for worry instead of an anger.
"I'm not worried. I know he is more than capable of taking care of himself. I just can't understand why he has to go to look for them, especially when he knows that Peeta is my best friend. The fact alone that he left this group doesn't make him my enemy." I argued.
Clove next to me snorted and said with a smirk: "And what do you think. That they will let all of us live happily ever after?" She asked with a raised eybrow looking in my face for an answer.
Upon seeing my frown she snapped at me. "Wake up! This is not a dream. Look at me. At Marvel. Cato. We are trained to kill. We were born for it. Do not forget that you're in arena. We are not best friends and do not think for a second that when it would come to it, I wouldn't kill you with any remorse. You may be funny, though most of the time it's you beeing stupid and naive, but don't lie to yourself that you have a chance here." My mouth was open and my eyes wide at Clove's outburst. She turned on her heel, her ponytail whipping around her head and went to the pile of supplies. She took out her knives and started polishing them with her back turned to us.
"Don't let her words get to you." Marvel stopped my flow of thoughts. I looked up to see his face, that was contorted into a grimace.
"But maybe you should consider her words. I like you. You're funny and you make Cato more laid back and realaxed." I made a face full of disbelief. I make him realxed? I thought a realxed person looked a bit different. Perhaps more calm then the aggresive hot-headed style that Cato took for his shiny personality.
"I know him longer and that is laid back for him." He added after a while. We sat down near the wood that he brought yesterday for fire.
"I'm not going to say that you have to understand, but at least try to. The way we grew up and the way we lived before the arena isn't a place for joy and love. Otherwise we wouldn't survive. Look at your District 8. I don't remember any one that would have made it past the Cornucopia."
"Well I'm still here." I protested feebly trying to get rid of Morris's smiling face and mom's panic attacks in my mind.
"Yes you are. But only because Cato has your back. And beacause the last few days you are here with us."
"What I mean to say is, don't forget where you are. This is not a playground. I don't want to think about what would happen if it came to the final fight. If I'll have the chance to prove that I am good enough to win this thing and live with the guilt fot the rest of my life or to die. Try not to forget who you are, where are you from and do not let arene control your life and to think that killing people, kids, and polishing knives is the meaning of life. It is not."
His words brought tears into my eyes.
Arena made me nearly forget who I am. The fact that I have parents faded in comparison to trying to stay alive every day. I almost forgot that my mom has to survivewith her only daughter in arena, even though the single notice of Games leaves her gasping for breath. My dad that threatens every boy I come close to, yet here I am frolicking with Cato. My home, that made me want to smell every flower I saw, yet here I'm stepping on them just to avoid being heard. Made me forget that annoiyng rat that always scares the shit out of me in the storage room.
Arena makes you think that you can suddenly change and do what you didn't do before. I don't wanta to change because I want to return home the way I was. Whether it will be in glory and crown or in anonymity with white cloth covering my body.
Marvel ruffled my hair and said: " Don't cry." He said, obviously uncomfortable with a crying female.
I sniffed and wiped my wet cheeks. "I think I'll go for a small walk." I said and stood up from my place on the ground leaving Marvel behind me.
I headed to the lake, looking out for a spot to sit. When I found a clean boulder I sat on it and hugged my amrs around my torso.
My mind went to Cato.
Would I like him back home or was it all just the fact that I was pretty much sentenced to death? He was undeniably good looking, strong and funny. I like to be close to him, because I feel protected and that is something valuable here. But what if I was back home. Would it be different. Maybe I would have ended up with Romar and we could have been happy together.
And what about Marvel and Clove? It is painfully clear that they could kill me in one flick of their wrist. Joking with them and acting like nothing is going on doesn't hide the fact that they're here to win this, whoever actually in the end will. They are still careers. Nothing can change this fact.
But me?
I'm just enjoying the ride till the last moment. They would never sacrifice something they worked their asses off whole life for someone like me, just because I am more innocent than then and I don't have blood on my hands.
I don't know how long I was sitting here untill a blanket was thrown around my shoulders. Only then I realized that I was shivering. I my head snapped up, slightly startled, who gave it to me.
The pebbled mixed with sand gave in the heavy weight that pushed them deeper. I didn't bother turning my head, I knew who it was.
"When you take into consideration the fact that we're in arena, it's quite pretty in here." I broke the silence and wrapped the blanket tighter around myself to stop the cold sneaking under my clothes.
A grump let me know that my answer wasn't left unheard. After few minutes of silence between two of us, Cato broke it.
"What were you thinking about?" He asked and stretched his legs in front of him.
I shrugged my shoulders, not exactly overjoyed to preach into this subject once more.
"About me, you, Marvel, Clove, Morris,..." For every name I said I picked a stone from under my boots. "Mom, dad, people back home..." I trailed off, willing myself not to cry.
I weighted the stones in my hand, feeling the rough edges and their weight. The weight their place in my heart holds. Of holding onto them, but letting go at the same time.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked out of the blue.
"Not really."
"Hmm..." I said unconvinced.
I stood up and sat myself next to him, draping the blankets around his shoulders muttering myself something along the lines of "... could use more warmth.. body heat...". I didn't snuggle next to him. I just sat there, staring on the surface of water.
"What is the story behind your name? Apart from the tradition of the names starting with C." I asked curiously.
This time it was his turn to shrug. "Ask my parents. I wouldn't know."
"Well that's boring. I expected some grand story about heroic ancestors or Gods and stars."
"Sorry to disappoint you." He answered light-heartedly and put his arm around my shoulders, tucking me closer to him.
"My dad would be angry at us. This is the higher level of touchy." I commented but instead of leaning away, I snuggled a little bit closer, resting my temple on his chest.
He didn't say anything, just laughed quietly. It was quite perfect like this. Just two of us, alone, at water, talking about normal things.
"I didn't find them." Cato said suddenly, refering to the previous argument between us. I didn't say anything, merely acknowledged it with a nod of my head letting him say what he wanted.
"I found a trail of blood, but let it go." He added. I noticed the lack of verbal apology for his actions earlier, but this was even better and bigger then jaust saying sorry, but killing my best friend in the proccess.
"You mustn't forget who I am. A career." It seemed he talked with Marvel before coming here.
"We are not supposed to act like this. Friendly, joyous.." He trailled of with a sigh. He run his free left hand through his hair, messing it up.
"It's all new to me."
"You're new to me. It may have come off as if I was a playboy before, but the truth is that I never kissed a girl before. Hell." He laughed in raspy voice and tugged on the ends of his hair, his knuckles turning white.
"I didn't even hold hands with girl." He said and as on cue took my hand that didn't have the stones in it in his, cradling it gently in his hold.
"These hands weren't supposed to hold something so precious and fragile," he said and ran his fingers down my palm, tickling me. I giggled a bit and tried to withdrew my hand from his, but his grip didn't weaken. I was smiling softly, with blush warming my cheeks at his use of the words. 'Weren't supposed to..' Weren't. But something changed and they are now.
"They were made to kill in one move." he squeezed his hand, trapping my fingers together. My joints protested at this action, making me hiss under my breath.
Silence fell upon us, neither knew what words should be spoken.
I stood up, brushing dirt from my pants, walking to the water. Then one by one threw the stones into the water. When the ripples from the last one dissappeared, I turned to Cato and offered him my hand.
"Let's eat something sweet." I suggested. He smirked, his blue eyes found mine. "You know, when I was younger, kids used to pick on me for being so big. Am I not big enough for you already?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion. Then it cleared out in my head.
"That was really kinky." I commented and turned to the camp. The fire was lit already and the other careers were gathered around the fire.
I made about ten steps untill Cato run after me, grabbing my hand and tugging me to the supplies.
"I'm hungry, woman. Don't make me wait any longer."
.
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Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah.. All the same here as always.
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You have no idea how happy it makes me to see that you like my story.
Good news, I graduated with A's, so now I have nearly 4 months of holidays. Even though I'm starting my new job on Monday, I am happy about the fact I'll have so much time to write. Maybe I'll start another ff or some story. I have a new obsession with Sherlock BBC, so maybe something to do with that.
This chapter is a bit of an filler, trying to give you my view of how I view the charcters, if it makes sense. But I promise that in the next few chapters, nearly everything will change. Till now, I stcuk to the official plot. But I plan to do some crazy things later.
And now to the lovely reviews you left me:
Cookie Seller On The Dark Side: OH MY GOD! That is the best review ever. No one wrote a poem for me ever. You are my favorite person. Gosh. :D
DreamUnicorn247: UPDATE is HERE! Thanks for the review.
fangirlingeverysecond: Thank you! I love them too. Although in this chapter I tried to make them the way we know them, but still leaving them with my touch of different. And about the dying thing, well we'll see.
Anonymous: Dear Anonymous, thanks for the review. And thanks for the compliment. I try not to make her too weird but as well not too Mary-Sue. I promise I'll update more frequently now on.
I am not a review whore to say write five reviews for me to post a chapter. But every review is greatly appreciated and makes me happier. I instantly want to write more.
Klaudia (I know I used to write Lia since I don't have any nickname and I tried to be someone else perhaps. But it is still me.)
Thanks for reading.