Authors Note: So I decided I haven't been writing often enough. I've been writing poets mostly and feeling a very large case of writers block coming my way, but I have also been going through some odd times and thought it'd be a great addition to my life stories chapters. Anyways, it shouldn't be too bad, might be a bit boring. It's more of a biography actually than a story, but if you feel the need to read it, please oh please review because I'd love some critique from anyone. Anyways... Enjoy. :]
"Stay out of my relationship, and my life."
Demyx trudged his way to school that morning with a heavy heart and a pensive mind. Whatever had happened in this past week was beyond him, he didn't know and he wasn't the type of person to jump to conclusions or try and find out. He would just go with the flow and hope it took him somewhere nice; lately he'd become close to god, although he wouldn't refer to himself as religious. He just knew that this god would take care of him and lead him down whatever path he was supposed to take, although sometimes he threw tough times in there so lessons could be learned. At least, that's how he saw it.
It was 6:30, dark outside like usual; Demyx's favourite time of day was early morning before the sun came up, before the birds even began to sing. He had a terrible habit of going to bed really late though, and last night he'd felt too upset to try and sleep. He'd been pondering the past week: a few things had happened that were finally beginning to bring him down. First, his best friend Axel had been having relationship problems. He was dating this cute kid named Roxas with blonde hair and sea-blue eyes. Roxas was cool, but until last week Demyx hadn't paid him too much attention. Probably because he was Axel's friend, and unfortunately had a small crush on Roxas…
Roxas and Demyx had become close: they'd always had a friendship, but when Roxas had come to Demyx for relationship advice, Demyx had obliged willingly and managed to begin this downward spiral. He couldn't blame it on anyone but himself, to be sure. Roxas asked Demyx's honest opinion and Demyx gave it: Axel was becoming emotionally abusive with Roxas, and Demyx wasn't sure he wanted to watch it anymore. Demyx was usually too honest and blunt, he'd been told that many times, but some people appreciated the outrightness. Usually Demyx would tell Axel to his face all the things he thought Axel was doing wrong… But Axel had been ignoring him. In fact, Axel had been hanging out with Larxene, they had become close friends in the past year, and would give Demyx dirty looks whenever the blonde walked by. Demyx couldn't help but think Axel was upset, but being the guy he was, decided to just let it play itself out.
When Axel and Roxas broke up last Thursday, as today was Tuesday, Demyx hadn't been able to talk to either of them. Axel had been quite upset at school and Roxas had kept a hard expression all day, one that seemed especially saved for Demyx. Feeling guilty, Demyx had confided in a few of his own friends, who'd told him Axel and Roxas' relationship had been heading for the dumps many times before and it wasn't his fault this occasion. He just happened to give advice on the wrong day, but it would sort itself out.
That weekend Demyx hadn't received any word from Axel or Roxas, which hadn't made him too upset… His own boyfriend, Zexion, had kept him company anyways, which meant Axel and Roxas were far from his mind for the most part. Coming back home on Sunday night had proved different though, he remembered their quarrel and wondered what Monday would have in store. Monday didn't have much in store. It proved that Roxas was back to being friends with Demyx and one of his old boyfriends, who Demyx thought was a much better choice than Axel anyways, and that Roxas was rather interested in this old boyfriend, even though he told Demyx he was trying to get back together with Axel. Demyx had nearly had enough with this, especially Axel's ignorance. The day had gone by smoothly enough.
Tuesday morning. He usually liked Tuesday's. He especially liked Monday's. He liked the thought of starting out a fresh week with no turmoil and no cause for stress. He was the type of person who liked homework and studying because it broadened his knowledge of the world. Demyx had a hard time at home though, ever since his birth. His mother had been an alcoholic who was interested in nothing more than partying. His father was quite the same at that age, 22 or something like that. His mother, 3 years older, was a lost cause.
When Demyx had been born his mother had tried to change, she tried to stop drinking and tried to find a stable job for once, one that didn't involve bars. His father was an electrician and already had his stable job and his stable life. He seemed to want to help Demyx's mother to change, but again, she was a lost cause.
It all happened one fateful night when Demyx was 2. His mother and father were at a bar, his father was caught flirting with another woman, and bam his mom landed herself in jail for a few nights with assault charges. Demyx stayed with an aunt for a few days, his father recovering in hospital with a face wound that left one side paralyzed. When his mother came back out it was apparent a divorce was to be ensued and there would be no more happy "façade" family. His mother won custody over him and a year later his father married another woman and moved to a different city, leaving Demyx without memory of his father, without his father's touch.
When he was eight his father came back into his life. He knew very little about his father, except that he wanted to know him, and for a year his father would come any weekend he could to see Demyx, viewed by his new wife and a social security officer. Demyx didn't care about any of the other people in that room, he had eyes only for his father. They looked the same, had the same sense of humor. Demyx wished it could be like this more often.
When Demyx was nine his little brother was born, Xwink. Xwink took much time away from Demyx's father, to the point that Demyx didn't like going over anymore. And his father's wife was mean sometimes, Demyx grew to dislike her as the years went by.
When Demyx was 11 his father had a girl with his new wife, Kiarx, and soon Demyx began to realize that his weekends with his father would never be the same. A year later Krixtas was born, another girl, and Demyx began to wonder where all these babies came from. His step-mom became increasingly cruel to Demyx and nicer to her real children. Demyx wanted her to leave, but of course his father was far too enraptured by love to ever leave her.
Demyx's mother wasn't the best either. She had married when Demyx was 7 to a cruel and unusual step-father who already had a son, Marluxia. Demyx's step father abused his mother physically and sexually, emotionally and mentally every single day while Demyx watched or listened. 12 years his mother had known this man, although they'd only been married for 8 by the time they divorced, just the previous year to be exact. Demyx had been emotionally and mentally abused as well, while Marluxia, the perfect little son that everybody wanted, was treated like a prince. Demyx grew so far into depression that he turned to sex as a getaway, and soon before he knew it he had all sorts of girls and guys in his pants, taking advantage of him and using him the best way they could.
And it was all so comfortable. Because he was used to it. He revelled in getting hurt, he revelled in being told he was worthless. It felt like the only way.
So the year before Demyx had left his mother in search of a relationship with his father. And here he was now, living with his father, 3 siblings, and step-mother everyday in close quarters. He could feel the dislike and tension in the house sometimes, even though they constantly told him he was accepted in everyway. At least they didn't care that he was bisexual, that he was proud, that he was confident and self-aware, that he was older than his years and that he could be kind of crazy at times. The only thing they did seem to care about was how loud his piano playing was, and how annoying his singing could get, how he never did enough around the house and yelled at his siblings twenty-four seven.
What'd they know about him, to judge him that way? Not enough, obviously.
Tuesday morning though. He'd left his house after his dad had already gone to work around 6. It took him half an hour to walk to school, down a long winding hill that was very slippery in the winter and made him sweat like a pig in the spring. It was currently January 18th, a date he'd remember for a while. He made his way to school, music blasting on his iPod, his brown leather jacket zipped up against the rain, his blue jeans and grey shoes a testament to his casual dress code. The only thing unusual would be his hair, but people liked it more than they disliked it, it was a part of him as much as his personality was.
The morning started off slow, Biology first block, notes, hanging with friends. Second block went by alright, Chemistry, one of his ex-boyfriends sat two seats down. He couldn't help but think how immature that boy was, and wonder why he ever liked him, but because he was the intelligent and intellectual blonde he was, he laughed in his own mind and used large words around his ex whenever he could. That class was usually alright, just like today. Next block was tutorial, a place to hang for half an hour while the younger grades did their daily physical activity. Grade 11 wasn't so bad, especially when you knew next year was your last.
Then lunch swung around. Demyx sat in the foyer with his friends, the ones he normally hung out with at lunch, the ones who made him laugh and listened when he had to speak. It had been a week since Axel had spoken with him, a week since Demyx had made contact with his bestie, as Axel liked to call him. So he wasn't sure what to think when Axel approached him, arms crossed, not catching his gaze.
"Demyx, we need to talk." Demyx shrugged and turned to his friends, then back to Axel. "Yeah, sure." He said calmly, following Axel into the middle where no one would hear them. It felt like Axel was at the center of the universe then, like nothing else mattered, his friend who he hadn't talked to in a week was here, and they were conversing. He couldn't have wanted anything more.
"I need you, to stay out of my relationship, and out of my life."
Demyx swallowed quietly, nodding his head. He didn't know what else to do. Axel was usually kind of shy, he looked confident, but by all means he wasn't usually one to stand up for himself. Feeling kind of proud for his friend Demyx nodded again.
"I heard you've been talking shit about me Demyx." Usually Axel called him Dem. This wasn't good. "You know, you were like, my best friend, I totally thought I could trust you… But, I don't' think so anymore. I mean, who goes behind their best friends back and talks to their boyfriend, telling him that my negative qualities outweigh my good ones?" Demyx lowered his gaze before bringing it back up to Axel's. "Ok." Demyx replied, crossing his own arms. "And you know, it felt like you were more in this relationship than I ever was, and it's annoying. I mean, you broke us up, for what? I thought you were a better friend than that Demyx, I trusted you." Demyx nodded. "Ok." He said again, his mind racing, his heart racing just as fast. He didn't know what to say, how to fix this. Axel was a stubborn son of a bitch sometimes, and he wasn't sure if what he had to say would be better or worse. "So, I want you out of my relationship, and out of my life." Demyx nodded again, repeating a final ok before he uncrossed his arms. "Well, I can stay out of your relationship." He told Axel, swallowing louder this time. "Thanks." Axel said, a hint of a smile on his lips, although he still looked pissed. "That works." A few seconds of silence passed before Demyx touched his nose sub-consciously. "So, what does this make us?" Axel uncrossed his arms, throwing them out to the side. "I don't know Demyx. I mean, I want to stay friends, but I don't need this in my life, maybe it's better we just go our separate ways." Demyx's ears felt hot, his eyes felt like the dam was about to burst. "Ok." He replied one last time. Axel nodded and turned. "See ya." "Yah." Demyx said as he turned in the opposite direction, moving towards his friends.
Physics was next block. Maybe he'd go there. "I'm going to Physics." He told the two boys he's been speaking with, and they both protested as he grabbed his bag and left. Halfway up the stairs to the physics hallway Demyx could hear voices laughing. At the top he noticed Roxas sitting against the lockers, Larxene next to him, as well as two others he didn't take enough time to recognize.
But the one that really got him was Axel standing in front of them all, laughing. "And Demyx was all like, ok, alright fine." Axel's arms were very animated as Demyx began walking behind him, aware that Axel hadn't even noticed him yet. "And I was all like Oh yeah? Fine, lets not be friends." Demyx knew that Axel hadn't come across as that proud or confident during their conversation, and Demyx gazed at Axel as he passed them all, Axel's friends the only ones staring quietly at him. Finally Demyx turned and picked up his pace, one last corner and he'd be away from them all. Someone whispered Axel's name, the redhead whispered "oh", and a round of laughter rung through the hallway. Demyx suddenly wanted to turn and punch the bastard in his beautiful face, tackle him to the ground and strangle him. He knew he was able to, Axel was tall but skinny and Demyx was more solid.
Just keep walking, he told himself. Just keep walking, you're almost there. There's the door, keep your head up, keep your tears from falling, that's right.
As soon as he touched the physics doorknob and opened the door he saw his best friend Xigbar and smiled nervously, closing the door behind him. 3 other guys were with Xigbar, two of whom he knew, Vexen and Xaldin. He ran into Xigbar's arms and cried, just cried because it was forbidden to hit a friend in the face, and even more forbidden to cry. In Xigbar's arms though he knew he was safe, and Vexen and Xaldin didn't care, doing their Chem homework and smiling. A few minutes passed before Demyx felt better and drew away, wiping his eyes.
"Thanks Xigbar." He murmured as he sat down. Xigbar smiled. "What happened?" Demyx explained the entire situation, feeling himself calm down, feeling his nerves begin to unfray. "I just thought it was unfair how he doesn't know my side of the story, how he didn't ask anyone about how I told everyone they were the cutest couple, how I told Roxas so many good things about him and told him that he shouldn't give up over the small stuff. No one told him I was there everyday, trying to speak to her while she ignored me. Everyone's just taking his side for some reason Xigbar, and it sucks to be blunt. I never "talked shit" behind his back. You know me, I don't do that." Demyx lowered his gaze, sighing. "But of course it doesn't matter in the end." "Sounds like a bunch of teenage drama." Xigbar said with a huff before they all had a good laugh. Demyx nodded, laughing as well. "You can be sure of that… I just wonder if Axel and I will ever be friends again…" Demyx said in a melancholy voice, shaking his head. Xigbar put an arm on his shoulder and lifted his chin, looking in the blonde's eyes. "Are you sure that this is all stemmed from today? This crying nonsense?" Good-naturedly of course, Xigbar's tone brought Demyx back to his family troubles. Of course at school everyone was so selfish and such that they thought personal drama was worth the time at school, bullying was ok, because they never thought going home to anything meant something. Demyx had a lot to go home to, an angry step-mother, three misbehaved siblings and a shy and puppeteered father who let him get pushed around, who let them both get pushed around a lot. Of course Axel didn't care about that, he cared about his relationship with Roxas and nothing else.
Demyx lowered his gaze. "Oh well Xigbar. Axel's problem's are his own now, and mine are mine. We can drop it anytime." He said quietly. Xigbar nodded. "I'm here for you if you need it." Demyx looked up again, smiling a bit. "Thanks Xiggy, you're the best." Feeling like a small, sheltered child Demyx hugged his friend once more before turning, beginning a conversation with Vexen and Xaldin about video games and books.
It wasn't until he got home that Demyx thought of his life in a larger perspective. Axel wasn't forever, no friend was, today proved that. But his problems at home weren't for forever either, he had only one more year and he could do as he pleased. All these ridiculous chores, this ridiculous way of living in fear and greed, it would be over soon. In fact, why was he feeling so down? Axel would get replaced, and Demyx's father would one day have enough time for him. His step-mom would be out of his life one day too. So why wasn't he rejoicing while he was vacuuming the entire two floor house, washing all of the washrooms and doing all the dishes?
His father had once referred to Demyx as a wild horse. Going through the life he had he'd been like a wild horse, without boundaries, unable to be tamed or reigned in. His father had also said that if he had to he would break Demyx's fighting spirit, if it meant the best for the family. Demyx couldn't imagine that after what had happened that day he could feel so broken. Just the thought of his fighting spirit gave him new hope. Everything happened for a reason, god would lead him down the path he needed to be led down. Today was one of those learning curves, he learned that the bigger picture didn't include useless friendships and chores, it included a lot more. His father could try all he wanted, but that flame would never die, that fighting spirit was as much a part of him as his intellect was. Demyx sighed as he sat on his laptop, gazing at Axel's facebook page with a secret longing for their friendship. Life would go on, no one could stop the world from turning. He had enough to deal with without Axel's drama, without anyone's drama actually. He would focus on his education and his family, and that would be enough. No one would break him and he would break no one.
One more year. That didn't seem so long after all.