The Golden Age Universe
At Deaths Door – Chapter 1
~Fran Gipani
Disclaimer- So I obviously don't own Merlin no matter how much I'd love to :'( but I do own my OC Brooke
It was dark. Oh so dark. And cold. He didn't know where he was. He couldn't see anything. It was completely silent. He didn't even know who he was. He tried to move, but couldn't. His voice seemed to not work as well.
He came to the conclusion that he was in some sort of prison; not able to see hear, feel, taste or smell. I can think though. He realised. Joy. The sarcastic voice rang through his head. Trapped in a prison with only my own thoughts to keep me company. If I'm in a prison though, he thought, who put me here and why? Deciding that that would be a question for later the man (as that was one thing he was 100% sure of) asked himself Who the hell am I? The more pressing question kept him occupied for...well...it could have been hours, could have been months or it could have minutes for all he knew. There was no way of tracking time unless he counted which he thought would be one way to keep my mind occupied.
So he did; the man began to count; counting the seconds until his release.
It didn't take him long to get bored of that one though. The man stopped counting and tried to think of what he had been doing before he got locked in this prison. Out of no where came a vision. A face with no name; a sandy haired man with blue eyes, he looked angry. It took him a while but eventually the man remembered the name that matched the face. Arthur. King Arthur Pendragon.
Suddenly a painful onslaught of images filled his mind; brightly coloured images and scenes. He remembered everything, every last detail of the life he had forgotten. He remembered who he was: Merlin. It was that moment that the tears came. With the memories had come the emotions of a life time of suffering, a life time of emotions all felt at once was far too much for Merlin and an anguished scream of agony was wrenched from his lips.
Through the pain it was then that Merlin realised that if he could remember who he was then he should be able to remember what got him here. He still couldn't see but he could remember fighting the shadow, and falling off the roof, then he was here. With no recollection of...well...anything.
Wait I'm not dead am I? The stupid question had escaped his mind before he could stop it. He gave himself a mental slap of course you're not dead stupid! So if you're not dead...that means you're asleep. If I'm asleep that means I can just wake up right? He tried waking up...or what he thought was waking up but nothing worked.
He gave a mental groan Or...no...that's not good, that's not good at all. I must be stuck in the divide; no mans land; at deaths door. With that knowledge buzzing around his head Merlin tried one last thing. Not knowing what he actually was in the divide meant that he hadn't tried simply opening his eyes. With his mind Merlin pulled open his heavy eyelids to reveal a sea of blinding light.
As the light cleared from his vision he was able to pick out that he was in the castle grounds lying on the cobbled stones.
From where he was lying all Merlin could see was shoes. No one seemed to be noticing him but no one seemed to be standing on him either. Strange, he thought. Merlin pulled himself to his feet and stared down at himself. He was wearing the exact same clothes he has been wearing when he has become stuck but instead of being worn from use they were brand new. The blue of his shirt in perfect contrast with the bright red of his neck chief. The material as soft as what Arthur's would be. His jacket was the creamy brown it had all ways been but without the blemishes it looked like it hadn't been worn at all before. He checked the stubble that had come up around his mouth and chin but the skin was now smooth, stubble free. Merlin then remembered that he had hit his head and checked for a lump but there was none there. It's like my body has been put back to it's factory settings. Not that I mind! He laughed to himself.
Out of the corner of his eye Merlin noticed Arthur walking towards the castle with a slim figure cradled in his arms.
Merlin followed Arthur towards Gaius's chambers and to him it was one of the strangest thing he had ever experienced; watching his own lifeless body being carried so carefully towards the castle. He saw Brooke follow Arthur into the castle, and instead of trailing his own lifeless form Merlin caught up to Brooke who was heading off towards the storage cupboards. "Brooke!" He called out to her before yet again he gave himself a light smack to the forehead remembering that she wouldn't be able to hear him. His friend did look around though, right after he had called her name; her eyes were pained and her cheeks slightly damp with tear tracks. She looked right through him, a slightly confused look on her face; Merlin was no stranger to being invisible but to have Brooke look straight through him like that was almost too much to bare. He wanted so badly to comfort her but he knew he couldn't, what was worse though was the fact that he was the reason she was upset.
Merlin followed Brooke up to Gaius's chambers, but lingered at the door at the door. He knew what he was going to find in in there, he isn't have a problem seeing his dying body but he wasn't sure whether it was right for him to see his friends reactions to what Gaius was about to tell them.
His curiosity over what was really wrong with him got the better of him though and Merlin slipped through the door before it swung shut behind him. Merlin stared round the room as Brooke knelt down by his body and began to pile blanket's onto him to keep him warm. From the door Merlin watched the scene unfold before him:
"How is he?" Brooke asked urgently as soon as Percival had left, asking the question on everyone's lips. She began to spread the blankets over Merlin's freezing body, tenderly tucking them around him, her eyes shining with unshead tears.
"He's not dead," Gaius replied slowly as if he was about to share something terrible despite the fact that Merlin wasn't dead, "but I think I know what's wrong with him." Gaius swallowed, his gaze moving slowly to each of the three other people in the room in turn.
Arthur and Gwen standing together hand in hand, Brooke kneeling down by Merlin, tenderly tucking the blanket's around him.
Arthur clenched his jaw as if bracing himself for the worst, "What is it Gaius?"
"Merlin is stuck. Stuck between the spirit world and the land of the living. Neither dead nor alive. Imprisoned within his own head." Gaius paused for a moment, "As far as I know there has never been anyone who has woken up from this state. Merlin is stuck like this forever."
Merlin slipped back through the door and stumbled blindly down the stairs leading from Gaius' chambers. He had known what he just heard but to hear it straight from Gaius was so much more fatalistic. Merlin broke into a run. He ran through the lower town, no one gave him any notice. Not even a glance in his direction. For the first time Merlin could run out of the front gates without the guards noticing and asking him where he was going at such a pace; Or joking that Arthur had finally driven him mad and he was running away.
Merlin felt so small. So insignificant. So trapped.
I am dying. And there is nothing I or anyone else can do to prevent it. I can't die, not yet. Not just when Arthur was so close to fully fulfilling his destiny. I need to see it through!
He ran through the forest as if this would keep him from his fate. He kept running and running until he got to the cliff overlooking the valley that separated Camelot from Annis' Kingdom. Here Merlin stood; his breath coming in harsh pants. The wind whipped around his jet black hair and his thin brown jacket; causing a shiver to run down his spine which he ignored.
An agonized scream of frustration was wrenched from his lungs and echoed around the valley but there was no one there to hear it. I am so alone. As the scream hit its crescendo Merlin's legs gave way beneath him and his scream turned to sobs as he curled up into a tight but shaking mass. The tears fell thick and fast. I am so alone here.
Note from the Author- So I do realise that this was a little short but the chapters will gradually get longer! I hope Merlin wasn't too OOC, do let me know he is. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review! :)