Chapter 12: Under the Water

Matilda went straight to the bathtub and turned the shower on. She dropped her robe onto the ground, then stripped out of her conservative one-piece shirt. Naked, she looked, really looked, at herself in the mirror. Her hair, falling to her shoulders, was brown. Her body was not thin, but she wasn't chubby either. In fact she looked faintly athletic. Her legs were well toned from running, and she put in a couple hours at a gym each week, so her shoulders and arms had a small amount of definition as well. The gym membership, as well has being on the soccer team, were how she had convinced Jenny to let her take such a huge load of college classes, but to her surprise she now enjoyed both activities immensely. Moving on to her face, she decided that her nose was a bit sharp, but fit her face well. Her best features had to be her eyes, which were a deep rich brown and very expressive. She didn't know it, but Jenny would have said that her eyes were beautiful, but it was her smile that was her best feature, her true smile that was just this side of impish.

Looking at herself now, she felt extraordinarily average. Her hair was an average length, and an average color brown. She was of average height and weight, and her looks were average too. She'd never felt average before in her life, and the feeling was uncomfortable.

She tested the heat of the water before stepping in. First she shampooed her hair; then started soaping up the rest of her body. Presently, she realized that not only had she been damp from the pool, but that damn test had left her damp as well.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Jenny had touched her like that and not meant any of it. How could she go back to longing from afar after feeling what it was like to have Jennifer run her fingers across her body with the intent to arouse her? How was she supposed to forget the feeling of Jenny's fingers tangling lightly in her hair and scrapping softly across the back of her neck? Wearing the blindfold, each touch had come out of nowhere, leaving her with nothing to focus on but the sensation itself.

Angrily, she pushed the water temperature from hot to cold, and gasped as what felt like ice water drenched her back and hair. Resolutely, she stood in the center of the torrent, letting it wash away the salted tears that streamed down her face, and letting its rush hide the sound of her sobs. She slid against the wall till she was sitting in the tub and let the water come down upon her.

That idiot should just kiss House and be done with it, Jenny thought irritably at the TV. Wilson had just dragged House to an incredibly painful funeral in honor of House's father. Wilson was pretending that he didn't care about House, and yet it was so clear he did, or he wouldn't have tried so hard to help House find closure with his dead dad. Now House was goading Wilson about his dead girlfriend. That was harsh, it was largely House's fault she had died in the first place. What would he do? Wow, it looks like Wilson is actually about to kiss him. He's turning, turning… Or, he could be turning to throw that bottle through that stained glass window. Huh. Hadn't expected that. But it seems that means they are friends again. Weird.

Jennifer looked up from the television when she heard the sound of a door swinging open. It was Matilda, done with her shower. She was in her robe again and she looked pale. Were her lips blue?

"Are you OK?" Jenny asked.

"What do you think?" Matilda said dully.

"It's just you look cold."

"I am," said Matilda. She was freezing, but not just her skin. It felt like the cold water had washed away all her emotions, leaving her in a place where nothing could affect her. She found her pajamas sitting folded at the foot of her bed, since she had neglected to grab them before she went into bathroom. Jenny must have set them out. How motherly.

She picked them up to bring them back into the bathroom so that she could change and leave Jenny in peace.

"No. Stay in here. I'm going to take a bath." Jenny said, grabbing her shower bag, which was already packed with her own pajamas and other toiletries.

Jenny changed out of her clothes and stuck her head through the shower curtains to turn on the water. She was immediately hit with a blast of freezing cold water, having forgotten to switch from shower to bath. About as close to cursing as she ever got, she turned the temperature knob from cold to warm. Now she knew she why Matilda had seemed to be freezing. She felt a small twinge of guilt, but tamped it down.

When the bathtub was halfway full of warm water, she slipped into it. Mmm, that felt good. She was holding a lot of tension in her body, she could tell. She soaped up a small hand towel that was provided by the Hotel and began to wash her body. Eventually, as she always did, she ran her fingers down between her legs, as part of her usual hygienic ritual.

Huh, that was odd. Her fingers were slick with something that felt like soap, although there had been none on her hand. She rubbed the slick liquid between her fingers; then blushed, even alone in the bathtub, when she realized what it was. Her body had become aroused while she was touching Matilda.

Jennifer liked to think she was a modern woman of the 21rst century, even though she did wear floral print dresses to work each day. Even so, she'd never masturbated. She knew what it was, of course. She'd just never bothered to try it. Now, curious, she slipped her finger back into her slit. Her finger grazed against a small hard nub of flesh, causing a curious sensation. She grazed her finger against it again. Clitoris, her mind supplied. This was her clit. She wrapped her fingers around it, and wow, it was slippery. She gave it a little tug. Ouch! Too much, that hurt. Instead she pressed down on it, and realized that this was the sensation she was looking for. She pressed her fingers along the tissue on either side and underneath her clit and found that it was all sensitive in the same way, to varying degrees.

Matilda has done this, her mind told her. The thought caused the pleasure slowly building up in her body to intensify sharply onto another level. Her fingers began to be surer, seeking more of the feeling that was, as Matilda herself had explained, building upon itself and doubling. Abruptly, she cut off her motions and pulled her hand away as if scalded by the images she had been thinking about.

She had to get herself under control. It was one thing for Matilda to be attracted to her. She was young, immature and could not be expected to make all the best decisions. But she, Jennifer Honey, had accepted the responsibility of being Matilda's Legal Guardian. She was supposed to be acting like her mother. Not blindfolding her, pulling her bathrobe off, and then stroking her arm and neck like a lover would. Mother, not lover, mother, not lover her mind taunted her cruelly.

It was Matilda's fault though; moping around, acting like her life was so horrible just because she couldn't have an orgasm without causing a localized earthquake. What was the big deal? Jenny had never had an orgasm in her life and she was 30. I'm twice Matilda's age, she thought with a pang. What was the big deal?

She reached her hand down and slid her fingers across her clit again, and though she hadn't been touching herself for a while, the pleasure built up quickly. Arousal fades slowly, even if you don't do anything to encourage it. With her other hand, she started touching her breast, first lightly, then more firmly as she felt how good it made her feel. She rolled a nipple between her fingers and as that added a new dimension to what she was feeling she wondered How much of this would Matilda be able to take before she had let her power out? Not much, if a few soft touches on the arm had her begging to take the blindfold off. Jenny ignored the fact entirely that Matilda had been blind as well and was being touched by someone she was in love with for the first time.

She felt the pleasure building and building, and though it was centered in the area around her clit, it involved her whole body, her skin where the water lapped at it, her breasts of course, but also her mind, which was currently focusing on how Matilda's throat had looked as she leaned her head into Jenny's caress.

She came, curled around her hand which pressed rhythmically against the one organ in the human body that is wholly devoted to providing pleasure.

Breathing hard, waves of pleasure still rippling across her body and coating her fingers in cum, Jenny realized two things. A) She was extremely attracted to her teenaged adoptive daughter. B) She wanted Matilda to be able to experience this.

She wanted Matilda to be able to have sexual relationships with people without being afraid that she would hurt them on accident. She wanted her to be able to climax alone or in the arms of another, but whatever the case be able to feel without fear all the pleasure her own body to give her.

Then you know what to do, her mind told her, and briefly she imagined helping Matilda break through her block. Matilda tied to the headboard of her bed, straining to get free yet leaning into the Jenny's caress that ventured far beyond the relatively safe area of just her arm.

And then she ruthlessly squashed the thought. Matilda's block was in place because of the feelings she had hid from Jenny. Either Jenny would have to help her through the block, or Matilda would have to stop being in love with her. Jennifer was sure that either method would work, sure although she had no proof at all. One appealed to her right now immensely, but was wrong both in the eyes of the law and morally. The other left her feeling cold.

She had to make it so that Matilda was no longer in love with her. She had no idea whether it was possible for Matilda to stop being in love with her and yet still love her. What if she hates me? She could only pray that she would not.

A/N: Haha! I'm so damn mean! I show Jenny the light in the tunnel; then lead her straight in the wrong direction. I'm that mean little voice in her head that keeps supplying her with images of Matilda, if you hadn't already guessed. This is yet another chapter (My third so far) that I have written in a motel room in Pacifica, CA. Now, at 12:45 am, I am about to drive to Denny's and go find dinner.

[On the radio as I wrote this chapter] When a man loves a woman