#59 Intoxicated

Matsuda was drinking.

More precisely, he was drunk.

Even more precisely, he was out-of-his-head, sleep-with-anyone drunk on the booze L had seen fit to put in the mini-fridge. Most likely just to see what would happen and relieve the monotony.

And currently he had his slobbering, none-too-subtle sights set on Misa, who shifted uncomfortably in her seat as his drunken gaze swept up and down her dainty little body.

"Heheh… You have pretty legs Misa-misa." He slurred, leaning forwards, causing the poor blonde model to shrink back along the sofa, pouting and grabbing Light's sleeve as soon as he was within reach.

"Light-kun…" she whimpered in a squeaky voice, intended to make all men pity her to the point of protecting her from everything. All men save Light 'Imagay' anyway. He winced slightly and tugged his arm free.

Matsuda, for his own drunken part in this tableau giggled and burst out with, "You sound like a chipmunk!"

Misa squeaked once more, then narrowed her pretty blue eyes into a glare and snapped, "Matsu is not Misa's friend anymore!" before flouncing out of the office in a huff of lace and leather.

Light smirked slightly and glanced across to L, hunched in front of his computer as always, "You should get Matsuda drunk more often L, it's one way of making Misa leave that won't mean I have to put up with her yelling at me in that god-awful voice."

L didn't even look up, merely chewed his thumbnail and mumbled, "Mmm. I would not be thanking me yet, Light-kun."

Light tilted his head, "What? Why no-AGH MATSUDA!! DID YOU JUST LICK ME?!"

L barely suppressed the smirk that crept across his face, and fought desperately with the urge to turn around as he listened to the following conversation:

"Mm… Light tastes delish… delic…deb… yummy."

"Matsuda that's gross!! I… GET OFF ME!!"

"NEVER!"

Then there was a yell like a scalded cat, and L found himself being spun in his chair as Light used him as a human matsuda-sheild.

Matsuda wobbled over, giggling slightly, "Come on Lighty-witey-kun, you might like it if you try it…"

Light snarled, "I'm quite sure I will never enjoy you drunkenly raping me, now back off!"

"Lol… you said back. That sounds like bum."

Light blinked. "Did you just say Lol? What the hell is the point of… and… just what have you drunk anyway, floor cleaner?!"

Matsuda merely giggled at this and tried to advance further. Light moved away at the same time, keeping L on his office-chair as a shield in front of him.

"Lighty… haven't you even thought about it…?"

That caused Light to pause. L made a note of this for later investigation, but then Light seemed to hit on a way out of this.

With a yell of "Take L, he bends further!" Light shoved the chair towards the drunken Matsu-beast and made a mad dash for the door.

He got about halfway across the room before the chain that kept him tethered to the detective ran out, hitched, and sent him hurtling face-first to the floor, effectively knocking him unconscious.

L calmly moved his chair back to the desk and got on with his work, choosing to ignore the sounds of Matsuda doing things to Light's unconscious body.

He'd probably have enjoyed it if he was conscious anyway. L reasoned.