#63 Illness

"Gevanni, I want you to touch the notebook."

I have to ask him to repeat himself, which he hates.

He wants me to touch the book, thought we know that touching it might reduce life span… or was that one of the fake rules? I can't remember.

Still, I knew the risks when I joined up… I just… it's hard to comprehend that I may well be taking my life into my own hands.

With a gulp, I follow Mikami into the gym.

It feels like hours, every few seconds I check my watch and discover that it's been mere seconds, and its not yet nine o'clock.

At Nine… he's always on the machines by nine at the latest… then I'll have 30 minutes, almost exactly. 30 minutes to break into his locker and touch that notebook.

Or it could be simpler than that. 30 minutes to live.

Nine. At last.

I gulp and walk inside. I can't be too quick, or he'll notice me. Not too slow because I'll run out of time.

Steady now, Stephen, steady. For god's sake, you're a government agent, stop being so afraid.

Here's his locker. I get the tool out and slide it into the tricky little lock.

Why are my hands shaking so much?

Oh god, before I've always had a team of agents behind me, I've never been isolated, working against the government and the world.

Now I'm working on my own. Oh yes, Near's on the other end of a phone line, but what use is that? And Rester's the type of man who wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire, not unless he had some documents involved.

So many of us are already dead… perhaps I should quit…

The locker clicks, and opens.

There's his briefcase.

I forgot, that's locked too! Crap! I have to work faster! I have to!

I jam the tool into the lock and start working.

Is this really worth my life? If the Shinigami sees me, it might… I can't even think about it...

I've always been told I'm an excellent agent, top of my classes at Quantico. I never feared anything, I brought down some of the worst scum in the world.

But right now… I can feel my stomach churning like I'm going to hurl. All I want to do is run. I've never been scared like this before.

And I-

The briefcase opens.

No time left to be afraid. I lunge my hand for the black leather cover.

Nothing. I jolt and look around hurriedly.

There's nothing there!

I leave everything exactly as it was, and get out of there in plenty of time. When I look at my watch, I only took a little over ten minutes to complete the task. I was never in any danger of being caught.

I take a moment to lean back and sigh in the car, then press the button that connects me to my miniature boss.

"I did it, sir. There's no Shinigami attached to Mikami at this time."

There, my mission is done…

Oh, I forgot to hang up…

"If Gevanni's alive in 24 days…"

…

I…

Near's using me… to test if I'm being controlled by Kira…and… and I… I might be… sentenced to death already.

…

I think need somewhere to throw up, then I need several large drinks.