Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. As Proof of this, notice the sixth book does not have Luna searching for Crumple Horned Snorkacks... in Harry's pants!

Chapter 3 – Birthdays, Muggles and Bob. Oh my!

"Harry get up… were under attack!"

Harry didn't even have time to comprehend the statement before his blankets were tossed aside by a rapidly moving Ron.

"What's going on?" Harry asked in alarm as he got up quickly.

"It's the Death eaters. They got my family, Neville, Hermione, Luna…" Harry instantly bolted upright and put on his glasses while Ron continued to name names. "Where?" Harry demanded.

"When I got away I heard them say they were taking them to the View… we got to…" What Ron was about to tell Harry to do was interrupted by Harry as he bellowed.

"Chippy!"

POP

"You called master Harry Sir." A slender female House Elf asked meekly.

"Take me to The View immediately." There was no time to be polite, Harry had to act and fast before the death eaters left.

"Yes Master Harry Sir!" The little elf grabbed Harry's hand, and as soon as they touched, they were gone.

Ron Weasley stared at the spot his friend had been moments ago.

"Ah hell…" Ron moaned as he made a mad dash back up to the View.

Earlier in the week.

Mrs. Weasley had been spending more time in the hospital wing as a number of healers there were currently called away to a magical black out zone. They had been cropping up more frequently over the last several years. Areas where magic seemed to turn off for random intervals. They had been sent along with a group of Unspeakables to test healing magic's apparent resilience to the phenomenon.

When Harry asked Ron why his mum was going to the hospital wing he was informed that she was a certified healer who had been laid off during the late 80's. Apparently ministry budget cut backs had cost many their Jobs in favour of creating the widely despised Dark force defence league. A group of wizards and witches that were to police the streets the Auror's once did. Leaving the highly trained wizards to protect the Ministry of Magic and its Minister, while leaving a few incompetents to cause more damage than good, and allow a previously shady area to become the now renowned un-policeable Knockturn Alley.

Mrs. Weasley informed them that she would not be able to make meals so she had the group go to the Main Cafeteria on the 18th floor. She had previously demanded a family meal which often included the Grangers, Lovegoods, Longbottoms and of course Harry.

The group descended The View to the crystal platform which helped transport people about the tower. Portkeying any who stand on them, to anywhere within the structure. Harry did not think using a portkey before he ate was a great idea but did not voice his concern.

Harry had expected the cafeteria to be some grand dinner hall like the great hall in Hogwarts. He was disappointed to find it was not wondrous at all.

Three or four dozen circular grey tables littered the large room with benches carrying forks, spoons and knives. On the far right to where Harry and the group entered was a dozen long rectangular benches with serving trays and about four or five chefs hats that walked behind them as if being worn by a small child.

"Let's get in line Harry." Ron called as he quickly made his way to one of the benches with a moving chef's hat.

"Hello young Sir, What can Chippy be getting for you today?" a top hat said in a squeaky voice.

Harry looked towards Hermione as she seemed to turn stern at the recognizable characteristics of a house elf.

Dan Granger noticed his daughters' behaviour as well. "Harry why does my daughter seem to hate the little chefs?"

Harry had to stifle his laugh as Hermione turned accusing eyes to her father.

"I hate the fact that they are slaves to the wizards and Witches, Dad!" Hermione said accusingly. Dan Granger frowned at his daughters' disrespectful tone but decided to talk with her about it in private.

A couple of hats seemed to wobble in surprise as Hermione managed to project her voice through the near empty cafeteria. Ron Groaned as he quickly took his lasagne dish away and let Harry step forward.

"What can Chippy get for young master?" The house elf asked unsure if the wizard before her would get as angry as the witch.

"Ah… what's good?" Harry questioned the nervous little critter.

"Chippy does not understand. Does young wizard sir not like what Chippy be making?" The little creature asked as she took off her hat producing watery eyes as she held her hat to her chest.

Harry mentally reviewed what he said and tried to discern whether he had somehow related to the elf that her food wasn't up to snuff.

"What no… I mean yes… I mean… I just wanted to get your opinion." The little creature only sobbed as Harry tried to keep from insulting its cooking.

"Chippy is sorry sir. Chippy tries to make good food… Chippy begs Master Wizard to forgive her." The little elf sobbed harder as she banged her head against the counter top. She took her chefs hat and used it to dab at her eyes.

Harry could only redden at the angry glare being sent his way by Hermione and the looks of disapproval from random order members.

"No Chippy, it's okay… I'm sure I'll like whatever you made. I'll have what my friend had. The lasagne!" Harry quickly said. The little elf looked up at Harry hopefully. "You'se will? …Oh Chippy is so happy. Thank you master wizard." The elf beamed.

"No, no it was nothing." Harry didn't even know why he bothered… the longer he talked with the little blighter the more complicated it was going to get.

"Oh master wizard is far too kind. Forgiving Chippy when Chippy did master wizard a disservice…" the little elf built up steam as it described Harry.

"No Chippy you didn't…"

"If Master Wizard ever needs anything just call Chippy. Chippy will be doing it right away." The elf said resolutely. Bobbing her head in further confirmation of her resolve… Sending her ears flapping about like bat wings.

'How do I keep doing this…?' Harry asked as he thought about Dobby and the little guys' devotion to him.

The entire week Chippy would serve Harry exclusively. He quickly learned that the elf was a living mood swing with a severe case of low self esteem. Then again that could be said for most of the species, but this elf seemed to take it to a level only dobby dared to.

Each time Harry thanked her for his meal, she would practically convulse with Joy. Especially when she found out who he was.

"The great wizard Harry Potter thanks Chippy…. Oh Chippy is so happy" After this she would usually cry into her hat some more and get envious looks from the other house elves.

Harry avoided looking at Hermione the entire week.

Present day

"Ok get ready… he should be coming through that door in a minute or two." A whispered order was announced to the party hat wearing group.

POP

"Stupefy, Convexium, Protego, Accio!" Harry did not even waste a moment to glance at the possible death eaters. He spotted a group of shadowed figures waiting by the entrance in the pitch black room, and fired. He took one by surprise with his stunner and a group of 4 down with his percussion blast. One of them quickly shielded himself, sending his portion of the shockwave back at Harry.

Harry Summoned his own shield and called for a group of brightly coloured boxes he saw behind the group, to race towards him; knocking into many of the members, and sending them sprawling to the ground.

"Harry what do you think you are doing!" Hermione shrieked as a large box almost knocked her over the head.

"Chippy, find all the members who eat with me during dinner. Bring them here." Harry ordered as he realized the same people who he came to rescue, were caught in the crossfire. He ran and overturned a table to provide cover as one or two of the attackers were sending spells rapidly at him… mostly stunners and restrainers but one or two unknown curses.

Chippy was shocked to say the least, but followed orders and quickly brought over almost all the members he had been fighting.

POP

"What the…" Harry questioned as he was surrounded by the people he had just attacked. Some of them were still rubbing different parts of their body where the boxes had struck them.

"Mr. Potter, if we had known you would disapprove of surprise parties so much…" Harry heard the deeply amused voice of Albus Dumbledore announce over the momentary pause.

"Surprise Party?" Harry asked a dazed Neville on his left.

The Lights went on and Harry slowly peeked over the table to see the chaos. The boxes he had summoned were brightly coloured presents, and the table he had overturned… had been carrying a now very ruined Cake. He could vaguely make out the words Happy and Harry on the white dessert. Around the room were scorched banners, proclaiming Harry 16.

On the other side of the room were Moody, Tonks, Hagrid, Professor Dumbledore, and a handful of other acquaintances. Even Bob was there though he was currently rubbing the back of his head where a present had winged him.

The Door behind the Order members rapidly opened to let in a winded red head as he yelled. "Harry called a House…elf?" He paused to observe the dishevelled group.

"… Surprise !" He asked.

"Ron?" Harry asked warningly…

Harry thanked Chippy once more, and assured her, "had this been an actual attack, you would have been a hero." Chippy only sobbed harder as she disappeared. Harry liked to think they had been happy tears but the house elf was a rollercoaster of emotions around him.

Harry looked over the rapidly organizing space as wizards and elves fixed the damage his birthday battle had caused.

'Damn'

"I'm expelled for sure now…" Harry resigned to himself.

"Now why would I expel you Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked from behind Harry. Harry didn't even have the energy to be surprised at his professor's appearance.

"I did a lot of magic sir. Isn't this kind of stuff frowned upon by the Wizengamot?" Harry asked tiredly as he turned to face his soon to be ex headmaster.

"Well… only when done illegally." The professor answered Harry with a bright twinkle in his eye.

"There is a rule that allows for surprise attacks on ones birthday?" Harry asked sarcastically… although with a hint of hope…. the wizarding world kept throwing him the oddest little surprises each year; he wasn't too sure what was and wasn't possible anymore.

"Sadly, no. Well not yet at least… maybe I should give you your present now so you can enjoy the rest of your party." The Headmaster said kindly while pulling out a scroll wrapped in a bright red bow.

"Thanks sir… you shouldn't have?" Harry said unsurely as he had never really gotten a present from a teacher except his invisibility cloak, and that was his to begin with. Hagrid didn't count as they had been friends before he became one.

Harry unfurled the paper and silently gasped.

Provision to use magic

I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Warlock of the Order of the Phoenix, do here by grant immunity from the underage restriction of magic laws, to one Harry James Potter. To take place, starting July 31st 1996.

Harry could not read the rest of the paper as he looked up to the headmaster in glee. He could now do magic whenever he wanted to. He really wanted to cackle insanely but held it in.

"Happy Birthday Mr. Potter. While this is primarily so you may start training to defend yourself, you may use your magic as if you were of age. Of course the standard laws of use still apply and you must abide by them, but I am sure you can act accordingly."

Harry could only nod dumbly as he thanked the man profusely.

For the next half hour Harry was buried under presents as Mrs. Weasley tried to arrange for another cake and food. It was only 10:00 in the morning and Harry had managed to ruin the meal. Harry realized that that was starting to become a pattern with him.

"I can't believe you told him we were attacked… what were you thinking!" Hermione scolded to the approving looks from Mrs. Weasley as she shot her son disapproving ones.

"What, it was funny at the time…" Ron tried to defend himself. The twins were ecstatic with their little brother and Harry found it amusing after he finished glaring at his friend. He did however, turn his glare towards the twins; they wouldn't allow him to leave.

In all Harry's haste to battle the forces of darkness, he forgot to put on clothes. He was currently only managing to keep his dignity in boxers and a white shirt. Mr. Granger who had been knocked on his back from the percussion hex only laughed and thanked Harry for trying to rescue his daughter. Hermione and Ginny just blushed as they refused to look in Harry's pant less direction. Luna on the other hand commented on how she didn't know he bought that pair of boxers. He had just purchased his new shorts from the lazy little village down the road, and an assortment of other things he deemed necessary.

Harry blushed at Luna's directness but was quickly getting used to his state of undress.

"So… Presents?" Harry asked awkwardly.

Harry, Neville, Luna, Ron, and Hermione sat themselves on the repaired stools surrounding the slightly dinged presents. The twins, who were visiting for the morning before heading back to the shop kept placing Reparo's on each present before tossing them to Harry.

"That ones from me and daddy" Luna answered when Harry looked at the silver sparkled wrapping paper. Harry smiled at Luna and shook the box theatrically to get clues as to what it could be.

Whatever was inside, clunked back and forth heavily against the confines of the box.

Harry unwrapped it and saw 'Fragile' written in a dozen different languages with symbols of broken glass on every side. Needless to say he was a little worried he had already broken it, but by Luna's wide smile he assumed it would still be okay.

Harry pried open the taped box folds to reveal…" A foot?"

Ron peered over Harry's shoulder and raised an eyebrow, while Neville shot Luna questioning looks. Harry reached in and pulled out a plaster foot from the bubble wrap that had been mostly popped already.

"It's the original plaster mould of the Crumple horned Snorkack me and daddy were following this summer, before we were invited here." She said proudly.

"That's a Childs foot print Luna…" Hermione said tiredly.

Luna looked at the witch in shock and then dawning horror.

"So you're saying we weren't the only ones on the trail… blast!" Luna said worriedly.

"Excuse me." She asked and rushed over to her father where she had a long whispered conversation with him where they gestured their hands wildly.

Hermione only groaned before pointing to a book shaped present and saying "mine".

Harry opened it to find" A Guide to Occlumeny: Beginners edition." Hermione smiled proudly at the book while Ron winced.

Harry did not really know how to react, as this book was a very practical gift from Hermione, but also a reminder of his failure from last year. Ron seemed to think so as well but Hermione only looked on with a smile oblivious to the conflicting emotions.

"Thanks Hermione." Harry said evenly as he handed Ron the book to put aside.

The rest of the presents were not as emotionally confusing.

Neville gave Harry a wand polishing kit, and the twins gave him a selection of wheezes. Ron and the rest of the Weasley's had gone in to get a gift for Harry and got him a Muggle long winter Jacket… not unsimilar to the one Harry had seen Remus wearing but much newer. Harry had assumed he had helped get it for him, as it was not a garish color that the Purebloods insisted on dressing in. It was long and reached Harry sins, Black and thick. Almost like a robe so he could still where it in the wizarding world without attracting attention.

"It won't do you any good now… but in the winter you should be set." Ron said conversationally. Ginny had been the one to give it to him in some strange youngest child delivery system that they had concocted. Harry would have rather have picked it up himself as the youngest Weasley became bold and plopped down in-between Harry and Ron, making as much body contact with Harry's uncovered legs as possible.

Harry did not like where this was going as Hermione had assured Harry, Ginny Weasley had gotten over her crush.

Harry reddened noticeably and got up to thank each of the Weasley who were conveniently scattered all over the room, and away from the female red head.

Apparently Ginny took his escape and blush as a good sign as she smiled brightly.

"Hey Hagrid." Harry called. Harry was feeling slightly guilty about storming out of Hagrid's hut; last they met, but knew the kind giant understood.

"Harry" He called in his noticeable accent. "Quite the entrance you made back there…" Hagrid chuckled at the blushing child.

"Yeah… I've been told I do that." Harry said as casually as he could while frowning slightly. Harry thanked Hagrid for his Owl feed ('where is Hedwig?') and asked him what he had been up to this summer.

"Ah well …you know Order business and such." He said nervously.

"Oh... sounds busy. Got anything planned out for Class?" Harry asked conversationally.

Hagrid blinked in surprise at Harry, and then looked at him suspiciously? "You're not going to ask what I've been doing for the Order."

Harry was a little surprised himself when he said "no." Last year Harry was led to believe a group of amateur Dark wizard hunters were hiding things from him, for his own good of course. At the time He felt he had a right to know what was going on with Voldemort. Now though, He knew a well trained army was going after Riddle. He knew they had secrets to keep and trusted them to do their jobs. They were after all more qualified to do it than Harry was.

"Actually Hagrid that reminds me of something…"

"Oh?"

"Dumbledore said you…"

"Hagrid… Buckbeaks gotten loose again!" an unknown wizard proclaimed as he ducked a swipe from a giant birds claw.

"Sorry Harry, ask me in a bit… sounds important." Hagrid quickly ran off in chase of the Galloping avian/equestrian Hybrid.

Harry could just hear Hagrid wish him a happy birthday before he disappeared around a corner. 'Bugger. I really wanted to ask him about that guide thing'

"Hey Harry, go get your swimming suit. We're going to the beach." Neville called as he and Ron were walking towards the door.

"Who's on duty today?" Harry asked as he rushed to catch up with his flatmates.

"We are!" Tonks playfully tussled Harry's hair as she walked beside the group. Bob just walked slowly behind while Fred and George watched Luna stick party hats that had tassels (which swung around in a circle when there was clapping) to his pectorals.

"She's good" George Commented.

Fred just nodded as the large man tried to act like he didn't notice his pointed paper breasts. Luna just clapped happily while the man twitched.

They entered their rooms and after Harry changed into a pair of jeans, he searched through his purchases for his swim trunks he had bought specifically for the beach.

HOOT

Harry turned around to find his owl sitting on his nightstand with a twig in her talons.

"Hedwig… where have you been. I've been so worried." Harry stroked Hedwig's head affectionately as she cooed into his touch. Harry heard a clatter and saw his wand role away from the nightstand.

'How'd that get there?' Harry asked no one as he stuffed it into his back pocket.

Harry never noticed that the twig Hedwig had brought was nowhere in sight.

"Maybe you should pick up a different suit Luna… that one was kind of small on you." Ginny suggested to her spacey friend.

"It's the first time I wore it… I got it last year."

'I thought it looked great.' Harry and Ron were of the same mind as they liked Luna's polka dotted, yellow bikini.

"Well while were there, we can pick you up one too, Ginny." Hermione suggested.

"What was wrong with my suit?" She asked venomously.

"Your mum picked it out for you, didn't she…?" Hermione gently asked the girl.

Ginny looked like she was about to try to defend her swimming gear but deflated and answered…

"…yeah"

Ginny had been wearing something from the Victorian era. Almost as ghastly as what Ron had to wear for his Yule ball but twice as frilly. Either Mrs. Weasley did not want to have her daughter expose any skin to any observing boys or she really had the pureblood fashion sense down.

Harry honestly wasn't sure which was more likely.

"You guys go ahead… I want to pick up some stuff from the grocers." Ron and Neville joined Harry as he went in search of candies. Bob accompanied them as Tonks went with the girls. The twins had already bid the group adue when they saw the scantily clad Muggle women, littering the yellow sand as far as their eyes could see.

The boys had noticed Dumbledore's forlorn looks at his candy bag and decided to get him a new confection. There was still strong debate about why the lemon drops were no longer a part of his diet, the leading theory was that the twins had somehow tainted the sweets with some joke product. Harry got vague flashes of the sword wielding lemon once more but decided to do as he did in second year, and hope his subconscious would shut up.

"You think Dumbledore's a Gummy man?" Ron asked. He had become enamoured with the sweets. Fred and George offered to put a similar charm on them like the chocolate frogs… but that didn't turn out so well with the tiny bears trying to waddle away. About a dozen escaped and were currently hidden about the tower. Luna was frequently seen hiding the dozen sugary midgets when Crookshanks tried to hunt them down. It both amused and disturbed Harry when she cooed to one as if it were her child.

"No, it might remind him he's old." Ron back tracked...

"Old?" Harry tried to follow his friend's logic but did not see the connection.

"Gummy bears, Gums… toothless old men!" Ron clarified as if it were obvious.

As odd as this conversation was, Harry was enjoying it immensely. Not once in the last month had Ron and he discuss Voldemort. Hermione tried to bring up Harry's need to study alluding to defence, but even she let the self proclaimed dark lord rest. Harry thought this might be what his father and Sirius had been like when they were younger.

He didn't care what Snape showed him in his pensive. Harry did not think Snape was ever a decent bloke, who was only ever minding his business before he was attacked by his dad. Sure his view of his father had been slightly tainted but he had never known the man. Harry had come to the conclusion that he was bound to idealise the man and let some of the shame go.

Harry zoned back to the present conversation as Ron shook his shoulder.

"Harry?"

"Hmm… sorry what were you saying?" Harry asked.

"I said… what's with all the Muggle's watching the picture boxes" Ron pointed to the growing crowd outside the electronics store on the other end of the street.

"Not sure?" Harry said absentmindedly as he was back to shifting through different candies.

"Guys…"

Harry and Ron turned to the distressed voice of Neville who was watching one of the televisions up front where the store clerks and few customers stared in awe.

Harry jogged up to Neville and tried to get a good view of the Screen. Whatever Neville was watching had shocked him deeply.

"Governments worldwide have released top secret case studies and research pertaining to the 7800…."

Harry was getting frustrated being over shadowed by the tall clerks and decided to stand on one of the ledges near the screen.

As Harry looked at the screen unobstructed, he caught a series of clips of men and women with their hands extended, sending streams of light at different objects. 'Holy shi…'

"The 7800 are believed to be the next step in human evolution. This group of individuals have life spans that seem to put them well beyond normal standards. They exhibit mental and physical abilities only dreamed of before. There are reports of a select few who can predict events as far as half a century into the future. They are claimed to have helped avert many classified disasters…"

The images displayed in the top corner expanded to let the group see an elderly Asian woman in her late seventies. She walked calmly up to a puddle of water. The audience watched amazed as she set it ablaze and held it within her hands. Never once wincing from the heat.

Harry noticed a blinking, blue light under her shirt sleeve as she let the liquid fire flow through her fingers. She shook her hands to let the remaining liquid fly away in fiery droplets that simply evaporated into the ether.

"The women you are currently watching is one of the first discovered at the age of 8. One might wonder how government's worldwide helped hide the existence of these extraordinary abilities for just over half a century… "

The anchor women paused and let her co host continue there well rehearsed speech.

"Well what you should be wondering is how they managed to hide them for a hundred and eleven years. That's right, the women you are watching is 119 years old. Yet she moves and looks as if she were decades younger. "The female reporter next to the male one, made a quip about how the women might not appreciate him telling the world about her age.

Harry felt a hand on his shoulder squeeze tightly. He looked down from his position above the ledge storing ice creams and other frozen desserts, into the troubled eyes of his bodyguard as he pulled Neville and Ron towards Harry.

As the group was dropped into their quarters avoiding all the hectic members of the order scrambling about the complex at a frenzied rate, Ron could only say.

"Your birthdays are always interesting… you know that right?"

Harry had come to the same conclusion.

AN: alright we are starting to get into one of the major plot points of my story… The 7800 ( an homage to one of my favourite TV shows) are going to be popping up every now and then… they aren't integral but they bring up a lot issues I want my story to deal with.

I'm trying to cut back on the Hermione bashing as I don't want this to be a fic where she has suddenly become all distasteful… she will have her positive moments as well but ultimately… well I can't tell you what ultimately will happen but I think it's a good ultimate fate for her, what I have planned.

Chippy is also a minor plot point… normally I don't want to add other characters but somehow I just can't turn away a hormonal house elf from my mind. Dobby Chippy interaction should be interesting to write.

To those of you, who think I'm just pulling this stuff out my ass and winging it… well I have the plot planned out on computer up till chapter 22 (About February story time) and I got the whole story planned out in my head, in a less organized manor. The ass part is still up for debate. I've got a beta who has accepted editing my horrible mess of writing but she is catching up right now, editing my previous work and going over my extremely detailed outline. I'll post them unbetaed and edit the chapters later with the betaed ones. I'm still accepting betas as I could always do with a second opinion.

The next chapter will do with the reactions to the revelation of the 7800…

Points to anyone who can guess the tune I was humming while writing about Luna's bathing suit.