Chapter 61
This always indicates Cybertronian languages: { word inserted here }
-0-The Rec Room, Autobot HQ
The day was warm, about 70 degrees. The rec room hummed with the conversation of a dozen or so Autobot youngsters who had decided that Ratchet and Ironhide needed a sparkling shower, whatever that was. After being assured it didn't require water, they got down to details. Bluestreak who was sitting at the table with several other Autobots, his eyes lingering on Sunstreaker who sat at a table nearby, explained what they would do
"Humans have baby showers for their babies before they separate. You eat and play games and the carrier gets all kinds of infant things, then you eat some more and everyone has a good time and there's dancing, too, I think."
"We can have one here. We can decorate this place up and Blaster can make the music," someone else said.
They continued with Bluestreak offering to ask Prime and Prowl if they could do this and by the time the Senior Autobot meeting began all the details were worked out. Driving by at the same time on their way to the weekly combined meeting, Epps and Lennox waved and shouted greetings.
-0-Conference Room, Senior Autobot Officer/N.E.S.T. Weekly meeting
The senior Autobot officers gathered in the conference room with energon cubes, datapads and other odds and ends as well piled up at hand. Perceptor and Wheeljack sat together talking about patents and other essential but bone dry matters to be had. Prime and Prowl sat together, helms nearly touching as they discussed the agenda. Ironhide sat beside Ratchet, his servo tracing gentle circles on Ratchet's back plates. Others drifted in and they included Springer who had just been promoted to Head of Security for Autobot City and the entirety of Mars.
Prime finally turned to the group and they began. Epps and Lennox sat on the table in their usual chairs. {"Welcome, everyone. I want to announce that Springer is our new Chief of Security for Autobot City and Mars."} He said so in Cybertronian to keep the news from Epps and Lennox who once again knew something good happened but not what it was.
Applause and good wishes flowed.
{"We are grateful that he is back and that his efforts and Arcee's were able to confirm the information we have been putting together about Intel-Martin and Daniels} Prime concluded.
Prime, Prowl and Jazz had spent time prior to the meeting explaining the situation to Epps and Lennox as well as getting their cooperation on the secrecy angle. Even though they would know and not Fulton, Morshower or anyone else in a greater position of authority, they agreed that the case had not been firmed up enough to present. Also, there was the potential to capture some big fish by using the connections and channels to work their own designs.
"If we could nail Daniels, that would be good enough for me," Epps said.
The next item of business was a short outline of the legal process that had just concluded in which they were, even as aliens in the strictest sense entitled to ownership of their own technology, ideas, information, and patent items under the laws regulating intellectual property both in the United States and abroad. They would be able to begin the patent process on the four items they were going to bring to market in order to make themselves financially independent of the United States, their treaty allies and the participating United Nations funding groups.
As Perceptor concluded, assisted by Wheeljack tossing in the random remark, Prime got a call and the meeting had to pause as he took it. Lennox smirked at Ironhide as he leaned his helm on one servo and rubbed Ratchet's back with another. "Ironhide, what are you going to call your baby?"
Silence as thick as tar permeated the room as a dozen pair of startled optics turned to the two humans, pinioning them on their brightness.
Epps and Lennox looked from Autobot to Autobot in surprise and growing unease. "What?" he asked as he stared back at Ironhide.
"Will, how did you know to ask that question?" Ratchet asked.
"I just … I heard someone talking about it this morning on the way in here," Lennox said, remembering their short drive through the rec room and a knot of youngling soldiers talking about 'having a party for Ratchet and Ironhide's sparkling'. He told them and sat tensely, feeling mildly like he'd disappointed his parents.
"No one is supposed to know, William and Robert," Perceptor said, tut-tutting in his gentlemanly manner. "This could bring unwanted attention from the Decepticons and TMZ."
[Pause. Accessing. TMZ, Noun, "Thirty mile zone dot com" Information acquired. Transmission terminated] -everyone made of metal
All optics turned to Perceptor. "What are you doing watching TMZ? That's tabloid TV."
Perceptor shrugged. "It was late and there was nothing else on."
All the optics turned back to Lennox and Epps. "You must swear on whatever gods you have that this never gets out into the public, William and Robert," Ratchet said with anxiety creeping into his voice.
"We promise," Epps said as Lennox nodded. "Honestly, we're just glad. We keep secrets."
"Don't remind me," Jazz said with a grin. "I remember the last secret Ironhide had you keep."
"His 'other' kids," Epps said, snorting with amusement. "Optimus, I am your father." He imitated Darth Vader as everyone stared at him with a blank expression. "Darth Vader. Star Wars." Epps looked from one to the other, shaking his head in amazement. "Jeez. You need to get out more."
"I don't want to think about that prank," Ironhide grumbled, looking shamefaced down the table at Springer who sat grinning back at him.
Springer had spent the night on the floor with Kup ruminating on the Decepticons along with a bottle of Wheeljack's rot gut which the inventor had put just inside the door of Springer's quarters when he got back. A long debrief with Prime ensued, a chat with Ratchet about things he didn't want to tell Prime and he felt better. Not especially fine but just better.
And it was good to be home among his comrades once again.
"What are you going to name your sparkling, Ironhide?" Prowl asked innocently as he glanced up preoccupied from his datapad.
"Yes, Ironhide, what are we going to name our sparkling?" Ratchet asked, turning toward him to lean on one elbow as he impaled Ironhide with a severe optic.
Everyone leaned back to enjoy the moment including Prime who was trying to listen to an internal comm and the hilarity about to take over the meeting at the same time.
Prowl who was seemingly unaware of the turn of temperature looked at Ironhide with an innocent expression of interest.
"I was … pondering a number of things," Ironhide said noncommittally as he fidgeted.
"Arbutus."
It was silent a moment. [Accessing. Arbutus, Noun. Ahr-bee-you-tus. Information acquired. Transmission terminated]-the tin cans in the room
"Ironhide, an arbutus is a flower," Perceptor said. "I think it's lovely but ..."
"It sounds hard, tough." Ironhide felt his angst multiplying as amused optics impaled him. He glanced at Ratchet. "I saw it on PBS."
"The Victory Garden. You want to name our sparkling after a flower. I will say it's a pretty flower but a flower?" Ratchet asked as he chuckled at Ironhide's expense.
"What do you favor, Ratchet?" Springer asked, smiling broadly at two of the daffiest doodles he knew.
"Yes, Ratchet. What do you favor?" Ironhide retorted, all high dudgeon as befitting a Chaos Bringer when miffed.
A grin formed slightly as Ratchet glanced at Ironhide. "You left it laying around."
"What?" Jazz asked, grinning with expectation.
"Car and Driver Magazine. Ratchet's leaning toward Mercedes." Ironhide sat back and waited for the catcalls.
He didn't get them.
[Silence. Access. Car and Driver Magazine. Mercedes. Information acquired. Access terminating] -honk, honk
"Not a bad car," Wheeljack said, nodding back as Ratchet nodded to him in triumph. "Good specs and rugged."
"I don't want my sparkling to be called Mercedes," Ironhide said.
"Well then, what about Bob?" Epps asked as he smiled broadly. "When in doubt, Bob."
"What about Tevet?"
"Chevron?"
"I like Wheeljack."
"Knob. Short and sweet and rhymes with Bob."
"Prowl is a good name."
"Roscoe. Rhymes with Bosco. Nice drink."
"Don't you think Prowl is a good name?"
"I like Scatman Caruthers," Jazz interjected with a wink and a grin.
"Wheezer, like his genitor."
"Radial, like the tires."
"Thunderado, like … uh, the thunder."
"Optimus Sue."
All: "Optimus Sue? You've been reading on the internet again, Wheeljack."
Wheeljack cringed.
"I like Tundra. Sounds like a tank."
"What about Jigsaw? That's a good name. I could get lost in it."
"Thunder Mug."
"That's a toilet device," Lennox said with a laugh. "A pee pot."
"Oh," Mirage said with a smirk as Jazz kicked him under the table.
"What about Toilet Snake then? That's even better."
Laughter and mockery ensued as Ratchet and Ironhide followed the flow of suggestions like spectators at Wimbledon.
After a moment, they paused in the fun to look down table at Springer. He was face down on the table holding his arms against his sides while not making a sound.
Ratchet jumped up hurriedly and before he could move, Springer sat back up bursting with laughter. He laughed and laughed, holding his chassis. "Toilet snake," he whispered. Then he laughed some more.
Everyone else smiled and when Prime logged off, he grinned. "What did I miss?"
"Ironhide and Ratchet are going to name their sparkling Toilet Snake."
Jazz barely ducked the energon cube Ironhide threw at him.