#72 Pure

Warning: Underage implied sexual activities, rape, abuse, if any of this squicks you out you might wanna skip this chapter. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

"You're so cute."

I don't respond. Responding makes her hurt me more. If I just remove my mind from this place, and think, I'm sure there's a way out of here. There has to be; L taught me that every problem has a solution.

Takada giggles at my silence. "I can see why Kira-sama gave you to me, you're so dainty and pretty, all that pure white skin… a real ladies pet."

I bite my lip. Kira. Light Yagami. He broke L, my mentor, my father figure. He took him and broke him. And then he came after Wammy's house.

Roger was so brave, evidently he did like children, deep, deep down, because he scattered us to the four corners of the world.

But it wasn't enough. Mello came so, so close to saving L, and then at the last moment the Kira soldiers got him and Matt.

And then they found me. My staff held them off for as long as they could, but in the end, I was thrown naked into the same cell as Mello, Matt, and L.

I cried first. I think that shocked them all.

I cried for them. The humiliation of it.

He broke Mello's precious rosary and made him say that his god was dead. Mello threw up afterwards.

He took Matt's goggles and blindfolded him, about the worst thing he could have done to someone who could barely see to begin with.

He made L wear a collar with his symbol on it.

I cried when Light took L away and somehow made him a slave. L doesn't even recognise his name anymore, so I'm told.

I cried when Light had Matt ripped from Mello's arms, kicking and screaming. Good for him, fighting the bastards.

I heard he went to Mikami, the hand of Kira. Takada likes to tease me by saying the red-head committed suicide. I want to believe she's lying, but it seems all too possible. Matt never could function without Mello.

Mello was sent to Damegawa. I understand why, Mello was always beautiful and perfect, and never, EVER went with anyone he considered beneath him. Kira reduced him to a disgusting pig's whore. I expect any day now I'll be told he's died too.

I was sent to the goddess. Or Kira's Whore, as I like to call her in my head.

She strokes my cheek, I feel myself twitch in revulsion.

"My cute little Nate, what shall we do today, hmm? Would you like me to arouse you like before? My pure little angel?"

I almost throw up at the memories of what she makes me do. Things my body is too young for, things I can't understand. I don't feel as pure as she says, I feel filthy and sick.

Anything is better than her doing that to me again. I don't care if I die this time, I don't. I strain against my shackles, trying to get free. Her perfume makes me sick.

I hear her smile. "Bad boy. Say 'I'm sorry, Lady Takada'."

I look up at her, fix her with my red eyes, and try to act like Mello in a bad mood.

"Kira's a huge homo and that's why he won't touch you, you repulsive bitch!" I snarl, and spit at her. It falls short, and my voice is annoyingly unbroken, but the rage is in her eyes all the same.

"Why you little runt!!" She shrieks, and slaps me across both cheeks. I don't care.

"You're the stupid bitch who let that asshole manipulate her!" I snap back. I wish I were older. I wish I had Matt or Mello here with me, they know better swears and have gravely voices that make insults sound better.

She snarls in rage and picks up the cane. She grasps my arm painfully and twists me onto my stomach, bringing the horrible piece of wood down on my back.

I must be bleeding. I can feel blood running down my back.

I hate this. I hate it. I'm not supposed to be doing this. I want to go back to Wammy's. I want to go home. I want Mello and Matt and L and Watari and god forbid, even Roger would be a welcome sight right now.

I start to cry, and then gasp aloud how badly I just want to go home. She starts to laugh at me and I cry harder. I don't care. I'm not one of the older boys who could deal with this, I'm a kid and I want my mum and I want to go home.

Eventually, it stops.

She bandages me, and strokes my hair. I have to squelch the gratitude in my heart. She hasn't done anything to deserve my gratitude; I have to remember that. I won't fall prey to Stockholm syndrome. When I get out, I'll hate her as much as I do now.

I need someone to rescue me, and soon, because I can feel myself slipping away in little pieces.

Mello… you can be first, I don't want it anymore, just escape and come get me.

Matt, don't be dead, please god don't be dead. Just escape somehow, we'll all be together and safe again.

L, where are you?