Coping

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Tatiana stayed with that night. I kept apologizing for letting them kill Adrian.

"Rose, there is nothing to apologize for. I am sure you did everything you could. We will get through this together. When you are released you will be staying in my guest quarters. I already have Dimitri, Eddie and Elianna set up and Lissa will be staying with you. I have contacted the school and you are on leave until further notice."

"Why are you helping me? I mean I didn't save Adrian. You should hate me." I said quietly and through my tears.

"Rose, Adrian loved you and you loved him. I know if you could've, you would have saved him. I will do everything in my power to help you. Adrian would have wanted that. I do care about you, you made him happy. That's what matters." She said as she held my hand.

I was shocked. How could she even look at me? Lissa came in and the queen left after telling me she would be back in the morning. Lissa crawled into the bed with me and held me tightly. "I will stay with you tonight. You need to get some sleep and I will do what I can to keep the nightmares away." She said. I nodded and closed my eyes reluctantly, but I was so tired I couldn't fight it for much longer.

When I woke up I was glad I hadn't had any dreams that night. I was restless, ready to get out of here. I woke up Lissa by shaking her. She looked at me wide eyed then smiled. "Hey Liss, when can I get out of here?" I was still completely devastated by losing Adrian, but now I was angry.

"Let me go get Dr. Blake and find out." She jumped down off the bed and then disappeared out the door. While I was waiting, Tatiana came in to see me.

"How are you feeling dear?" She kissed my forehead and for a moment she reminded me of a grandmother rather than a queen.

"I'm alive. But anyone expecting any other answer is certifiable." I said. She raised her lips in a small smile as Dr. Blake walked in.

"Well Guardian Hathaway, you may go home, but if you find you are having any difficulty dealing with this, come right back in here. I am going to give you some pills to help you sleep, but only take them when necessary." He explained.

"Thank you doctor." I said as I swung my legs over the bed and pushed off carefully. I had not walked in almost two full days and wasn't sure if my knees would buckle. I was a little stiff, but I managed to get dressed and walk off on my own free will to Tatiana's car. Lissa, Tatiana, and I got in and headed out towards the queens private house. When we got there, Tatiana herself showed us to our rooms. When I walked into mine, my breath was taken away. There was a huge king sized bed in the middle with a black and red comforter, a dark cherry oak dresser with a full sized mirror, a black leather sofa, 47" flat screen TV, a new iMac computer, private bathroom with a huge whirlpool tub and a private balcony. Lissa's room was right next-door and identical to mine, other than the color scheme. Her's was brown and pink.

Tatiana pulled me aside. "If you would like to have a picture of you and Adrian, I have plenty downstairs to choose from. I didn't want you to be overwhelmed." I nodded and smiled. "Anything you want let myself or one of the workers know. I'll leave you alone. And Rose? Anytime you want to look at the pictures, let me know." I nodded and she turned away.

I told Lissa through the bond I was getting a bath and then going to bed. She said okay and she's see me in the morning. I ran a bath and added lavender bubble bath to relax. Pulling my hair up into a messy bun I eased my way into the hot water and laid my head back and closed my eyes. The hot water did wonders for my sore muscles, but couldn't relax my mind. When the water started cooling, I got out, dried off and put a long tank top on and crawled into bed. I cried for a while and then fell asleep.

My nightmare began again, and then suddenly it shifted. I was in my dorm room sitting on the bed and when I looked up Adrian was standing at the edge. "Little Dhampir." He said smiling. I jumped up and grabbed him holding him to me tightly. I knew this was one of his dreams, but I wasn't sure how.

"Adrian, how are you here?" I asked.

"My soul hasn't moved on yet. I am still able to see you here." I reached up and kissed his face all over.

"Adrian, I love you so much!" Then I hit him in the chest.

"OW! What was that for?" He asked as he grabbed my arms and wrapped his arms around me.

"Why did you do it? Why did you try to hit him?" I asked.

"He was coming after you. You didn't see him. I had to help. I'm sorry." He said looking into my eyes.

"Don't be sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't save you. I should have fought harder."

"Babe, there's nothing you could have done. I made the choice, I took the chance. I died trying to save you. If I had to choose, that's the way I would want to go. Trying to save you." I leaned up and kissed him deeply.

I pulled away and pulled him onto the bed with me. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. I laid my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It was heaven. "Adrian, I love you so much. I wish I would have died with you."

"Don't ever say that Rose. Never. You need to live. You still have things to do. People to love, people to protect. You need to live." He said then kissed the top of my head. "Promise me you'll live."

"I promise. Anything for you." We lay like that forever. I was relishing in the feel of his skin, the smell of his scent, and the sound of his breath. I never wanted to wake up.

"Rose, you're about to wake up. I have to go."

"No, I won't leave you." I clung tighter to him.

"You have to. I'll be back tonight, and even if you can't see me, I'll be right next to you all day. I love you." I looked up and kissed him.

"I love you too." And then the dream faded and I woke up.

I got up and went into the bathroom to shower. When I got out I sent Lissa a message. You awake?

Yeah, you okay? She sent back.

Yeah, come over, I have to tell you something.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. "It's open." Lissa walked in and sat on my couch.

"What's up?" She asked.

"I saw Adrian last night. In my dreams." And I proceeded to tell her all about the dream. I was still upset, and I got a little more upset knowing that these dreams wouldn't last forever, but I hoped they would make things easier.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please keep reading and let me know what you think. I think I will be able to get the next chapter tonight, but then it may be a few days. I have to work some on "What Dreams May Come" and my daughter is super busy this week.

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