Trying To Heal

Thank you all for reading. Here is the next chapter!

Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

I got back to my room, changed into one of Adrian's button up shirts and settled into my bed. I had told Lissa I was going to bed early. She was a little concerned but when I explained that I needed to talk to Adrian, that it was important, I think she understood. I was nervous to tell him what I needed to, I didn't want him to stop coming to see me, but I figured it was something I had to do. I knew our time together was limited and this needed to be done. I turned my TV on and lay down waiting for sleep to take me to Adrian.

Soon I was sitting on the couch in m room still dressed in Adrian's shirt, and Adrian was standing at my door. "You're early." He said as he made his way towards me.

"I know. I needed to talk to you." I said quietly.

"I figured. I got the feeling something was up when you were down by the pond. What's up?' He asked.

"Well, I came to a realization. This isn't easy for me to say, but I have to. I know you explained to me why you did what you did, but that doesn't change that fact that you're gone." I paused. How was I going to do this? I got up and walked over to the balcony doors and watched as the sun began to rise.

"Rose, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am."

"I know, but that doesn't change anything. Adrian, I love you more than anything. My heart and soul was ripped apart when you died. I want to complete this mission and bring you peace, but I can't do that as long as I still harbor anger. And I realized that I am angry with you." He began to protest but nodded. "You took a risk, a stupid risk. And because of that risk, you left me. You were ripped away from me and it was because of a stupid risk. I know you did it for me, and I am grateful for that, but you should have never tried to take on that monster. You left me." At that point he came over and wrapped his arms tightly around me and I was sobbing. "How…how could…how could you leave me?" I said through my sobs, and then broke away from him. "You…you had to have known there would be deadly consequences. But yet you still did it. You got yourself killed! How could you do that to me?" I was sobbing uncontrollably at that point and collapsed onto my bed. Adrian came and cradled me in his arms.

"Rose, I would have done anything to protect you. I didn't think about the consequences. I only thought about protecting you. I can never explain how sorry I am. All I can hope for is that you'll forgive me. I know I was stupid. I didn't mean to leave you. That is the last thing I wanted to do. Even after my time is done here, I will always be with you. In your heart and in your memories." He had tears in his eyes as he said this.

"Adrian, I need to heal. There's a hole in my heart, but it's in the shape of you. How do I fix that? It's so hard." I kissed him gently.

"I know it is. But you have to do it. You have to try. I will help you, but you have to start to move on. It's the only way." He said as he pulled my hair through his fingers.

"I know." I said. We lay quietly together for a while and he leaned down and kissed me.

"So, what do we need to do to get on the path toward forgiveness?" He asked.

"I don't know. I think we just need to take it night by night. I know we don't have a lot of time, but by the time I leave for Russia, I need to be able to genuinely forgive you. We'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm sure of it." I said.

We spent the rest of the night, well my dream, talking about past memories, watching TV and just being together. It was great. When my time to wake up came we kissed and the dream faded. I woke up, surprisingly refreshed, and made my way to the shower. I got dressed in work out clothes, went to get Lissa then headed towards the gym,

Abe was waiting for us and he had a guest. Eddie, Elli, Dimitri, Lissa and I stood there together while Abe and this woman were talking. We were waiting for Mia and Jill. When they arrived Abe turned to us. The woman he was with was Moroi, had beautiful jet-black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and ice blue eyes. She was beautiful with the exceptions of a scar that almost completely covered one side of her face. "Everyone, this is Natasha Ozera. She is a fire user and an accomplished fighter. She had taken on two Strigoi in her time and will be training with the Moroi. Tasha, this is Lissa, Mia and Jill. They will be with you. The other's are Eddie, Dimitri, Elli and Rose. Rose is my daughter." She walked up and shook all of our hands. She seemed very nice. I was looking forward to getting to know her. When she made her way to me she smiled sweetly.

"Rose, what a pleasure. I thought you and I could have dinner tonight. Your father has told me some of the situation and I think you'll find I may be able to help you. We have something in common." She finished.

I raised my eyebrows, but didn't ask what we had in common. I would ask later. "Sure, sounds good. Would you like to meet, at say, eight?" I asked.

"Yes, eight would be fine. For now, good luck." She smiled and went back to Abe.

Abe smiled and motioned for Lissa, Mia and Jill to join Tasha. They headed out to the track and I heard Tasha say something about running. Lissa let out a groan and I smiled.

"Now for you guardians. My head guardian Pavel will be helping with your training and I have also contacted an old friend of mine to help." With that the door opened and our old instructor, Alberta, walked in. We all smiled, she was one of the best. "Listen to them and pay attention. I am going to join the Moroi on the track." I thought it was odd, he seemed to keep in shape pretty well, but I guess he figured he should train with them too.

Pavel was a few years older than me, with muscles to die for, sandy blonde hair kept short and dark blue eyes. He was a good-looking Dhampir, and seemed to be a skilled fighter. I guess working with my dad he would have to be.

Alberta and Pavel took their places on the mats. Eddie and Dimitri went with Pavel and Elli and I went with Alberta.

"I want to see some of your offensive moves. Don't hold back. Give me all you got. Elli, you first." Alberta said as she crouched. Elli did a really good job. She was fast and efficient. But Alberta was one of the best. She had great defensive technique, but Elli countered wonderfully. After a while though, Alberta took her down. "Elli, you did quite well. We will work on some weak points, but you did very well. Your training is good. I will spar with Rose next, and then we will see what you can do defensively. Go get some water and rest. Rose?' She looked at me and I smiled. She came over and hugged me. "I am so sorry about Adrian. Are you sure you're up to this?" I nodded.

"Let's do this." I said.

"Very well. You do offensive just like Elli." I nodded and crouched into my fighting stance. We circled a few times, and then I struck out. She dodged and countered. I had learned so much from her, it was easy to know what was coming, but it was the same way with her. I had learned a few new kicks while I had been here, so I decided to try one. I jumped up and brought my legs up and spun, it was kind of like the blades of a helicopter, making contact with her shoulder and flipped her over. "That was a new move Rose. Very effective." She said as she got up rubbing her shoulder.

"Thank you. It's something I picked up while I've been here." I said, pleased with myself. We spent the next few hours sparring with Alberta and Pavel, then Eddie and Dimitri. The Moroi came in after running and began on basic defense. They wouldn't be learning as much as us, but they needed basic defense. I was glad Lissa would be able to at least defend herself.

Is it really this hard?My body is killing me already. I heard Lissa through the bond.

I stifled a laugh. It's only beginning, Liss. I sent back. I heard her let out a loud sigh and continue on learning how to throw a punch. I knew she hated it, she was gentle by nature, but she needed to know this.

We started out cool downs and headed out. Tasha came up behind me. "I am staying in guest housing. Where would you like to eat? I am up for anything."

"There's this great Chinese and sushi place, Jack Cho's. How about there?" I suggested.

"That sounds great. See you there at eight." I nodded and she walked off.

I went back to my room and told Lissa what I was doing and where I was going. She picked out a dress for me to wear and wished me good luck. I was curious as to what Tasha and I would talk about.

I know there isn't much to this chapter, but I needed to introduce Tasha and explain Rose's anger. I hope you all enjoyed it.

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