Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. As Proof of this, notice the sixth book does not have Luna searching for Crumple Horned Snorsnaks... in Harry's pants!
Chapter 16 – Hi, I'm Neville, I kick ass!
"He's loosing… critical to…"
"Get the …"
'Huh?'
"Mrs Lovegood, you should…"
"… Is Harry alright…chicken."
'…Chicken?'
'Broken sentences… strange voices…'
"Honestly, how can he end up in my wing so often… You'd think he was cursed… I should look into that."
'Madame Pomfrey…? Damn.'
'I'm unconscious.'
'…wait… I can think… that must mean I'm awake.'
'… Why am I not more excited by that…?'
"I think I will engrave this bed… Should I label it with his initials… or maybe his full name? Maybe I can put a restraining field on it… oh this is exciting… no more fleeing."
'There's the reason…'
'I always hoped she wouldn't think of that… Maybe I should look into that whole curse thing myself.' I wondered to myself.
Hearing a soft smattering of feet walking away, I opened my right eye a smidgen.
The room was blurred and bright, but as far as I could tell… empty.
Opening the other eye, I tried to squint, but I couldn't focus on any one object, let alone my glasses.
'Damn, I am so blind; I might as well wear two eye patches.'
I amused myself for a moment by picturing myself in pirate gear, and a peg leg like Moody's. When I imagined myself let out a healthy 'Yarr!'… well I decided I needed to stop that line of thought, lest I need to ponder my mental state.
I was feeling okay, except maybe a little itchy… I could feel my fingers, so I still had those at least. And by the sensation of chilled feet, I knew I at least had all my limbs intact. Honestly I was feeling pretty okay. Better than Ok… I felt like I could train with Oliver wood, Sir, and the DA, all at once, and still have enough energy to attend all my classes.
That was ignoring the itching though… I tried to scratch my back but I just couldn't reach. There was something familiar about it now that I thought about it…
I had felt itchy there before…
Flashes of blood, black feathers, screams of agony, and jade snake eyes startled me as I recalled the significance of the spot.
Retracting my arms, as I didn't feel like scratching that particular itch, I tried to recall what brought me here in the first place.
'I was… Ginny… We were arguing…?" I recalled.
'That was after meeting with Luna… She said that Ginny wanted to see me…'
'I …She … she stole the marauders map!' I fumed.
… .. … .. …
I had walked into Gryffindor tower trying to find the littlest Weasley only to find her glaring at me from the couch. Confused but curious, I approached her.
"What's up Ginny?" I asked warily, taking note of the angry scowl…
Ginny stared at me for a moment. An ire reminiscent of her mothers, reserved for the twins at there worst, danced behind her eyes. My hackles rose, if only to prepare myself for what was going to prove to be a very upsetting conversation.
"Where were you…?" It wasn't a polite curiosity quenching question. It was a demand for an answer. I wanted to Growl, something I had picked up from somewhere, but let it slide as I chose to see where this was going.
"In, the room of requirement." I said with some edge to my voice. I was still going to remind the girl that I wasn't to be pushed around. I wasn't a total push over after all.
The message was received, if the flash of her eyes were any indication. She felt challenged and she wanted to prove her worth.
The entire situation was reminiscent of a pair of wolves demanding leadership of a pack. None of the British civility and propriety here, just animalistic intent.
Only… with words.
Ginny scoffed sardonically at his reply.
"I was looking for you…" She said with anger laced between false sweetness.
"I know, that's why I'm here. But you don't seem like you want to talk right now…" I said with a raised eyebrow and quirked lip. I imagined that my expression looked very similar to Snapes when looking on expired newt eyes.
"Who were you with?" She demanded rising to the unspoken challenge in a standing position, so she could stare me in the eye. She failed as the height difference alone was mocking her. I couldn't understand why I ever thought the girl formidable.
"In all fairness, I don't see what business it is of yours." I replied back as politely as I could. 'Really… the nerve of the girl.'
Her eyes flashed once more. I got the impression that she usually got her way in these matters. "You were with her… weren't you?" She accused.
I raised his eye brow curiously…
'Lucky guess.' I reasoned.
I had not been ignorant to the increasing animosity the littlest Weasley held for Luna. I had chosen not to intrude on the matter, but even the simplest of fools would not have missed the glares sent at the kind blonde.
"Her?" I asked.
"You, know who I am talking about…" She harshly whispered. I momentarily wondered whether the girl had retained any parseltongue abilities as the entire sentence came out as little more than a hiss.
"Even if I did… I repeat. What business is it of yours?" I reiterated.
"Don't try and hide it, I know! While I've been looking for you all day, you've been having it up with the Loon!" She whispered angrily.
Something in my expression must have indicated my anger as the girl flinched back away from me, as my anger had flared at the name.
"Do. Not. Call. Her. That!" I whisper darkly at her, while taking a threatening step towards her. I took pleasure in the fact that she took an involuntary step back and trapped as she was pressed against the couch.
The girl's ire reappeared like Uncle Vernon's as she ignored the very real threat in front of her.
"Don't try and change the subject. What have you been doing with her, in that room?" She accused as if I had had a sordid affair with the girl.
"How many times do I have to tell you, It's none of your business, and how would you know I was with Luna at all?!" I asked.
I realized I didn't want to be arguing right now… or ever.
I was having a nice time just moments ago. But I wasn't willing to bow out anymore… I wasn't willing to let people walk all over me anymore. No more, malleable good little Potter. If some one want's something from me, they better be willing to get it from me in the way I wanted to give it. Or risk not getting it at all.
If Sirius's death had done anything, it had made me question everything. Enter teenage rebellion… let them think what they will.
"I saw you; you and her have been in that room for over an hour, don't try and deny it." She spat at me. Really it's like we were dating or something. I was thankful that the common room was bare, as rumours would have surely spread that me and Ginny were dating, and Luna was my mistress on the side.
'And after that blasted article earlier… oh that would have been just lovely.'
"What do you mean you…"
'I imagine this is the point that Ginny had started to realize she might have been in the wrong.'
There on the side of the table held down by a steaming mug of coffee, and three other books was an unfurled map. A very familiar unfurled Map.
"… Where did you get my map from?" I yelled at her as I pushed her aside to grab the priceless personal possession.
"I…" 'Oh now she's sorry, now that blasted Weasley anger was abated. Now that she realizes that she's in trouble, of course.'
"This was in my Trunk… This was in my locked trunk… this was in my locked trunk in my quarters." I informed her with anger as I pushed the books aside… but stopped as I realized that they were mine as well.
Remus's text books I had left behind for Ron to study from. The books I had not even let Hermione see yet. The book with Sirius's writing, with Remus's notes, with James potters unfunny but infinitely treasured dirty limericks. And here they were used to keep the map of my fathers open to spy on me. I was angry.
"Where did you get this?" I yelled at her. I already knew but I wanted her to say it.
'Oh she flinched'… there was a time that I would have been ashamed of that, making a girl flinch, but that was not the case anymore.
"I'm sorry Harry… I"
"Where…" I demanded.
"I was just looking for you, and I didn't think…"
"Where!?" I demanded dangerously.
"… In your trunk." She finally admitted while looking away.
"What gave you the right to use my map, or go through my things?" My voice was quieter than usual. It did not reach levels that would indicate my true anger. But it was deadly in its own right.
Just like Uncle Vernon, I watched as false indignation swelled within her.
"Don't take that tone with me, Harry Potter. That was the twins long before they gave it to you… Why I have… I have just as much right to it as you do…" She blustered bravely.
I could only stare at the girl in incredulousness. 'This was how she defended herself… Really?'
"Let me get this straight… you steal my map, you spy on me… you go through my things… and you tell me you have every right to the map my Godfarther, my FATHER made just because the twins swiped it from Filch first!" I honestly don't think I've ever been so angry. I think I might have been willing to forgive if it wasn't for the fact that she tried to turn it around on me. That was what broke the camels back.
She didn't say anything… That may have been the smartest thing she did.
I tried to reign in my snarl of anger as I folded the still active map and placed it gently in my backpack, packed up the books, and turned to face the girl.
"Don't, ever… come near me or anything I own… Is that clear?" I demanded.
She didn't say anything but the silence spoke volumes. I strolled upstairs to check for any other missing artefacts, and placed every single locking charm I had ever learnt on my trunk and started working on a very crude, but temporary locking scheme with my runes book.
… .. … .. …
The anger re-woke in me, I tried to reign in my thoughts and move on… that incident had taxed my emotions; I had spent the rest of the evening channelling my anger into the training sessions where I took pleasure in trying to hurt my instructor. He had taken it in stride, and started sending more damaging and painful curses at me. As barbaric as it may seem, that had calmed me down quite a bit. Though I feared the intensity our training sessions would take now that I had upped the standard.
'After that, everything was a blur… I awoke and did something; it was kind of vague…'
'I sort of remember coming up with an idea for getting me out of the D.A …?'
'The D.A.! I remember; I attacked everyone. Why did I do that…?'
'Oh Right… it kind of worked; Smith certainly didn't want to be there so much anymore. Susan has a horse Patronus… Cho….'
'Oh god… I can't believe I told her…' I felt my cheeks flame up at the idea of revealing such a personal thing to my ex. That part of the night was very clear.
'Afterwards, me and Luna… we… we went to the green house…' It was hard to remember. It was like my mind was shoved into a blender. I wasn't in pain, but I was so disoriented. I …
'Another ritual!' I remembered. 'Voldemort performed another ritual.' Everything else was a lost cause as If I had not even been alive for the rest of it. That might have just been the case too.
'I was in the greenhouse and Voldemort did another ritual… how did I get back here?' I wondered. 'Where was Luna for that matter?'
Suddenly I felt cold metal placed in my left hand, looking over, I saw a blurry pair of wire rimmed glasses. 'Where did they come from?'
Putting them on and letting the room finally come into focus, I took in the bright but early morning light the sun provided me.
The room was lit with it. It was at that perfect angle that everything seemed alive and fresh.
'It would have been nice to have watched the sun rise like last time.' I lamented.
"Harry?" A voice asked me. I whipped my head around and spotted…nothing?
"Are you ok?" Luna's voice asked me.
"Luna…?" I asked.
"Im hmm" she answered affirmatively.
"I can't see you?" I asked dumbly. Invisibility cloak, I reminded myself.
"Oh right…" I watched as she shimmered into existence as she looked sheepishly at me with wet eyes and a dreamy smile. I tried not to imagine why the eyes were wet. I also tried not to take a little pleasure in the fact that the eyes were wet because of me. It was a nice feeling to be cared for, even though I felt distinctly uncomfortable because of the same thought.
"Madame Pomfrey told me to go… I didn't want to…" She explained.
I smiled at her. It might have seemed a little hypocritical of me to be fine with Luna using my cloak and to freak out over Ginny, but there were definitely differences in the situations in question.
"I hope you don't mind… oh here…" she proceeded to pull objects out of her pockets… my map for one, some blades of grass, a few nuts and sickles, my wand, and … feathers?
She then proceeded to divide up the things, the nuts and sickles towards her, the blades of grass also, but my own things and the feathers were pushed towards me.
I looked at the girl strangely. "Why are you giving me feathers…?" I asked.
"They feel like they belong to you…" she answered mysteriously.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"They came from you last night… "She stated.
"They did?" I asked.
"Yup…" she said resolutely.
"Right…" I replied. "Thanks then…" I said with a smile.
"What happened?" She asked.
"Ah, good question." I replied back. A part of me didn't want to tell her. Another part of me reminded myself that it must have been her to get me back here, and judging from last time, I might not have been in a very good state.
She certainly deserved an answer, but what was I to tell her.
So far there had been a lot of secrets I was being entrusted to keep. Then again, a lot of those secrets I have been the one to want to keep them secret. This was very confusing.
Opening and closing my mouth, I finally said. "Sometimes when Voldemort does things, things happen to me. I don't really know the specifics yet, but that's what happened last night." There yeah go… vague enough to answer the question, but not tell her about the specifics.
I honestly just didn't want her to worry too much about me.
She looked at me for a moment contemplating my words.
"Voldemort did a ritual and you got affected?" She asked me.
How the hell did she figure that out from 'Voldemort sometimes does things?'
"Yeah… how you figure that out?" I asked.
She looked at me as if not really seeing me. "Halloween is an important date; it's an important date to him and you… rituals work better when done within important dates… it makes sense."
"How do you know that?" I asked, impressed. Some how I don't think rituals are that common judging from Ron's reaction to the news.
"Mum used to talk about them. She was a researcher." She replied.
Other than answer my question; the fact that she revealed that about her mother… it seemed significant. I feel like it took some doing for her to admit it.
"Oh; well no wonder you're a Ravenclaw …" I fake pouted, to lighten the mood. It worked as an amused smile graced her face.
"Indeed, brilliance does seem to have been passed on to you Ms. Lovegood." A grandfatherly voice answered. I was glad it wasn't just me that snapped my neck to look at the headmaster at the foot of my bed. 'How the hell does he do that?'
"Headmaster…" I answered back in shock as I tried to seat myself a little higher in my bed.
Something about lying in a bed in front of the most powerful wizard known… it left me feeling very self-conscious.
Luna for that matter seemed to be blushing, as if caught out of bounds. Which in a way, she was.
"Do not fret Ms. Lovegood; it has become quite the challenge to outwit Madame Pomfrey. I commend you on finding a way." He complimented.
"Thank you sir..." She answered back politely while trying not to look him in the eye.
"Hello sir…" I greeted properly; now that I was at least sitting with my back to the bed frame.
"Back to sir, are we… shame. How are you feeling Harry." He asked
"Fine… Really, I feel great." I defended at his and Luna's joint quirked eyes.
"Well I suppose that is all we can hope for. Judging by Ms. Lovegoods explanation, I take it you chose to inform her of what has transpired." He asked approvingly.
"She actually figured it out but yeah, she knows." I reply back. I make sure to make my tone sound like I was fine with it... which I was. I realized we were talking about her while she was standing not a foot away. I personally hate having others talk about me as if I wasn't there.
"I take it you have questions for me." Dumbledore stated.
"Umm… I should, give me a minute." I answer honestly. I am still trying to regain my bearings so a lot of my questions are still forming.
He laughed abruptly at my answer… "Yes, I assume you would. How about I explain what I have ascertained." Dumbledore offered.
He was about to start, but I was distracted as I spotted Luna.
I watched as she started to put her grass and Knuts in her robe pockets again. I thought she was trying to leave and give me my privacy as I talked with Dumbledore.
I appreciated that; not even Ron or Hermione gave me that consideration. Ron is understandably curious so I understand that. Hermione seemed to believe she had a right to all information about me. In a way she was like Aunt Petunia, with her digging into others personal lives. It had served me well when trying to oust the next Death Eater Professor or digging up dirt on prying reporters… but it was certainly annoying when the microscope was directed at oneself.
For those reasons and more, I felt like letting Luna stay. I suppose just knowing that she was willing to give me that privacy… I felt less like hiding it from her.
"I wouldn't mind if you stayed Luna… unless you have some place to be that is." I offered. Luna looked up from gathering her things and stared me in the eye.
'He wants me to be here…' a bright voice whispered within my head. I realize what that flash was immediately.
It's a bit odd to have it happen right away and know where it came from now. I can't help the blush that crosses my face at knowing how happy it made her to be wanted, and included.
"Thank you Harry." She said dreamily with a smile as she took a tentative seat on the bed at my side. She did a remarkable job of keeping the emotion I know she is feeling out of her voice and expression.
I turn to look at the headmaster who was practically blinding me with that infernal knowing twinkle of his.
"Yes, well a ritual did indeed take place last night; I received reports not long after from the order that they detected similar readings as the last. While you have been asleep, I ran some diagnostic spells and it appears that the Evolutionary Blocks I mentioned earlier… they have reduced significantly. The ritual was much stronger than the last." He said cautiously.
I think I understood what he was truly saying. It was a wonder I survived.
"What kind of evolutionary blocks were removed this time?" I asked.
I had done some reading on the subject in what little spare time I had. I discovered that like the spherical pie chart, evolutionary blocks were separated by category of magic and energy. They were the indicators of limits and every person had an unknown number of redundant blocks to back up the ones that kept the magic in check.
Like a system of damns keeping a mass of water in check. If one were to collapse a series of others would be there to keep them in check. But the added distance the water covered was significant.
It was a imperfect metaphor, but it explained the gist of the matter.
The last bar chart indicated that a significant number had been removed; to have more removed… it was unheard of. Or at least as far as I knew
"These were actual 'evolutionary' Evolutionary Blocks that were removed." Dumbledore stated. I imagine my eyes widened slightly at that. I had spent a little more time on this area of the subject.
These blocks, were actual 'blocks'. They limited a person in terms of traits and abilities. Evolution was apparently a two way streak as every now and then, a species developed inhibiting blocks that limited it in terms of lifespan, skill, mental prowess, anything and everything. After all, evolution was not some living entity that could pick and choose the best traits to be passed on and eliminate the rest; It was a series of random events that lead to the rise and fall of every living thing on the planet.
Where was the proof for such a statement; one might ask.
Baldness was Hereditary... I laughed when I read that. I laughed harder when I showed Ron. He did not take kindly to the fact that he might loose his precious Hair.
"I don't know what will happen to you, but it will depend upon you as much as it will the ritual magic's." Dumbledore explained.
"Oh…" I replied. Why is it whenever he tries to explain something to me all I ever get is more questions and a headache?
"Professor Dumbledore?" Luna asked.
I turn to look at the girl in question.
"Yes my dear?" Dumbledore asked.
"What did the feathers mean?"
Good question… I had feathers… the only time I ever saw those were in the dream and the room of requirement.
"Feathers…?" He asked.
I pulled one up to show him.
His eyes widened slightly at the sight of them. "Are these what you saw in the room of requirement Harry?" he asked me.
I nodded an affirmative.
"I see… would you mind if I took these, I would like to experiment on them." He asked.
"That should be fine… I can get you more Harry." Luna informed us.
"More?" I and Dumbledore asked in confusion.
"The room was filled with them." She replied back. That was intriguing to me. I had assumed she had to scrounge around for them.
"Where exactly were you if I may ask." Dumbledore questioned.
'Uh oh…'
It's not like we did anything wrong, but I suddenly realized that this might be considered out of the castle. I had promised to stay inside the castle and not to sneak out. Plus I really did not want to give away the location of the green house, even though it was his school technically; I liked the idea of keeping it a secret.
Luna looked down contritely, I think she was about to answer for me but It was me who led her there in the first place; I decided I should at least be the one to tell Dumbledore.
I placed my hand on her shoulder to indicate I would explain.
"Me and Luna… we went to a green house that is connected to the school through a tunnel in the courtyard." I answered.
Dumbledore's eye's raised. "How on earth did you find the Garden?" He asked. He wasn't angry, just surprised. I took that as a good sign.
"It's on the map." I said indicating a parchment he had only seen at the end of my fourth year.
"Ah… your farther and friends were quite thorough in there investigations of the school." Dumbledore said impressed. I let a relieved breath escape my lips as that indicated he was fine with it.
"That is a forgotten teacher retreat. Over the years the Headmasters have been using it as a getaway. There is another entrance to the garden within my chambers and I sometimes like to take in the view as it were…" a strange look crossed his face and then he came to some kind of realization.
Staring at me with an accusatory frown… "It was you who finished off all the berries." He accused.
I couldn't help the contrite smile that crossed my face as he scolded us of berry theft. It was too surreal.
Here I was, laying in a hospital bed, sitting beside the girl I liked, discussing ritual magic, evolutionary theory, and filched raspberries with Albus 'Freaking' Dumbledore. My life was definitely not normal.
… .. … .. …
In the end, Dumbledore welcomed us to continue using the garden, under the provision that we save him some berries next time. I had been allowed to leave the hospital wing sooner than usual, as Dumbledore pulled some strings with his headmaster and chief warlock card. It did not let me escape a full work over but I at least did not have to spend the rest of the day, or week, in the hospital wing.
I finally escaped to meet with a curious Ron, who asked about my whereabouts, only to have to be silenced as I whispered to him a summary of what happened, sans mention of the garden. I still wanted to keep that a secret.
Even though the headmaster turned out to have known about it, it only added to the gardens allure. There was a certain danger to having the headmaster a door away that I enjoyed.
I was a thrill seeker, after all.
I was currently trying to find something to do between now and my appointment with the headmaster. He felt it was more important now than ever to continue the mental exercises. I had not had much success, but I had managed to sense an indistinct throb in my chest that might have been my magic. It was an intoxicating sensation to be able to discover the substance within me that defined so much of my life. Tiring but intoxicating.
Luna had begged off spending the rest of the day with me, claiming that she had a potions exam she had to study for on Monday; Ron and Hermione claimed the same. I was under no such constrictions, although I suppose it wouldn't have cost me anything to test myself in all the potions I had already done.
Just as I was about to turn around and head back inside the castle to do just that, I was stopped by a hiss.
"Why. Won't. You. Shut. Up!" Each word was followed by slight thumping noise.
Walking around a corner I found myself staring at Parvarti and a familiar serpent.
"You're right, He was slime. I mean who wears a chequered shirt to a first date." She confirmed to the snake, which looked for all the world like it was agreeing as it swung its head up and down fervently. Where, in reality, it was trying to knock itself unconscious as it moaned its plight.
"I don't know why people don't like snakes… your great listeners... I tried… Harry!" Parvarti screamed in jubilation upon spotting me.
"Hi?" I said unsurely as she rushed towards me.
"I'm so glad you're here… Tell me what he's saying." She demanded as she sat me on a log by the cage of the large Occamy that was still here.
"I thought he was supposed to be gone by now." I questioned in confusion.
"Oh, Hagrid said, they didn't have room in the pens to keep him; so they asked him to keep him…" Parvarti said distractedly wanting Harry to translate right away.
"Monkey! I demand you tell your female to leave me alone." It ordered. I could hear the desperation in its voice even though it tried to order me to do its bidding.
"And why would I do that…?" I asked.
"Because I command you to, you tail-less prime mate!" It ordered.
"What did it say?" Parvarti demanded excitedly.
"Tell her to shut her fangless mouth before I bite her tongue out. I will not listen to her prattle on about this Jeremy person one moment longer!" The snake ordered.
"He say's he agrees with you completely about some bloke named Jeremy… He want's you to tell him more. He finds you excellent company." Harry said with a grin toward Parvarti. She practically swooned.
"Oh Shirley… You're the best!" She cried out happily, while starting a new tail about how lavender kept using her midnight blue mascara with out asking.
"Die Monkeys… Die!" It screamed in frustration as it thumped its head on the ground repeatedly.
"He says he loves you…" I barely managed to keep from laughing hysterically at the hiss of rage.
I never enjoyed listening to girl talk as much as I did then… Shirley was definitely going to prove fun.
… .. … .. …
"What has you so amused Harry?" Dumbledore asked as I sat myself in a comfy chair opposite him in his office.
"You know the Occamy Hagrid has?" I asked.
"I do… I understand you translated for him…" Dumbledore stared at me shrewdly, as I had practically snorted as he referred to my supposed translating.
"Have you and he formed a bond?" He asked curiously.
"You could say that… It informed me and Parvarti that it wanted to kill us slowly and painfully… and one day, it would strip the flesh from our bones." I told him.
I thought that he seemed quite alarmed by the news.
"I do not see the humour in the …"
"I told Parvarti that it wanted to hear more tips on how to apply make up, and what colors went well with fuchsia." I explained.
Dumbledore appeared stunned for a moment, but I got a few snorts from headmasters of yore.
"Are you sure it is wise to antagonize the snake…" He warned. His cautioning was ruined slightly by the wicked smile that graced his face.
"Probably not, but I don't intend to ever get in the cage so I'm not worried." I said cockily. I put the warning aside though to think on later. It wasn't bad advice, but I wasn't too worried.
"Yes… well, be cautious. Shall we." He asked.
I nodded and let him guide me in the familiar calming techniques. Sooner than last time, I started to enter a trance like state.
"Now Harry… I want you to search for your magic. It should be easier to find, it beats a rhythm unique to you and you alone, when you find it… lock on to it." Dumbledore instructed me in a hypnotic voice.
Personally… I didn't much care. The trance I was in was like a constant imperious like state. Except with out the arguing voices demanding I follow its will alone.
With my eyes still closed I started to probe my being for any kind of rhythm I could find… it was harder to do, with out breaking out of my trance like state. Dumbledore had informed me it was key to be in this state for the exercise.
Slowly my perception of the room started to change; it was getting harder to maintain the trance, as new information on magical devices around the walls were pounding on my mind. Dumbledore had explained to me that this was a good sign that I was getting close to my core.
Constantly pushing away information, like tree branches along a trail in a dense forest. I probed my being, training my senses inwards, rather than outwards. I was starting to feel the throb. It was faint but it was there.
It felt like a deep bass string, vibrating to an unknown beat within me. It felt right. That was the only way to describe it. It beat to a rhythm that if I could copy in real life, would be my own personal theme song. My soul sung to this rhythm.
I tried to get closer as I knew I was to far away. I couldn't do it… it was like it needed something to allow me that closeness. I tried to reach out, but the distance remained the same.
There was something I needed to do; I needed to offer it something before it would allow me to grasp it.
"I can't lock on sir…" I informed Dumbledore… I almost lost the connection from speaking. That's a step in the right direction as I had lost the connection last time because I had spoke. I was at least getting better.
"What do you mean Harry." He said soothingly, some how helping me get a little closer through the soothing tones of his voice, but no where close enough to be able to grasp it.
"It won't let me near it… It wants me to give it something first." I answer automatically. I was too deep into the exercise to care at how stupid and strange that sounded. I just knew I needed to offer it something before I could grasp it.
Dumbledore's voice remained silent for a few moments as I allowed myself to listen to the rhythm of the throb. It felt like it was behind my heart… I knew it wasn't really, but it felt central in positioning. It was like how we imagined we felt emotions like love and sorrow from the chest, even though the brain is actually what did the work.
"I would advise that you offer it emotion. Consider your Patronus… remember your happiest memories… focus them on the pulse." He advised.
I considered his words as they washed over me… some of the strongest magic's required emotions to work… why not this.
Slowly, I gathered as many happy thoughts I could, remembering my happiest moments. My pride in Ron for such a quick understanding of runes, my happiest memories of Hermione as she stood by my side during thick and thin, Mrs. Weasley's loving hand in raising me, Remus's presentation of my own personal bedroom, the night I spent with Luna in the Garden and on the grass letting my cares wash away with raindrops and sun rays.
I gathered these emotions and memories together… I compressed them and nudged them towards my core…
It was instantaneous as there was no real distance to traverse. I felt the collision, I felt the package I had sent get probed.
I felt… it get rejected. I felt as I was denied access.
My trance started to deteriorate. I tried to keep it alive but it was gone within moments, leaving me disoriented as the world rushed back in on me.
I opened my eyes to find the curious eyes of my headmaster in front of me.
"It didn't work…" I said glumly.
"Please describe what you sensed." He asked me. I described what I tried to do… he nodded along indicating that is what he would have done. I told him about sending the ball towards my core, and I told him about my sense of being rejected. It was not what my core wanted.
"Do not feel bad Harry. These things happen; we are after all exploring something that has never truly happened before. You can not be expected to have mastered all your skills right away." Dumbledore replied back in comfort.
I knew this, but I felt dejected for my failure.
"I know approximately what level of magic you can safely expel. How about we practice your wandless skills for now. I must admit I am curious to see you perform this feat again." Dumbledore offered with a smile.
I was pretty easy to please I decided; I started to get excited again at the thought of the skill.
I had wondered about my secret power that I supposedly had, that Voldemort lacked. Dumbledore had made it sound like love, but I was a little happier knowing it was more substantial than that. Was it Wandless magic…? Was I to overpower Voldemort with the skill, as he used his Yew wand? Something told me… no.
I felt more like my wandless ability stemmed from this unknown power… it felt like I was only exploring a single aspect of it that in essence, masked its true form.
How I knew this, I may never know… but I was sure I was correct.
But if it wasn't wandless magic… what was it?
It was strange, but after learning the prophecy, and once the words had sunk in… I felt a sort of comfort within there prediction. I bemoan my fate most daysof the week, and rightfully so; but the prophecy offered a sort of purpose to my existence that made everything seem right.
Philosophers everywhere contemplated the meaning of their lives and the reason things happened the way they did. I knew. My fate was intertwined with a mad man and I was to be the deciding factor in his continued tyranny. As twisted as it was to draw comfort from it… here I was, doing just that.
I returned my attention to the headmaster as I watched him pull out another orb with three concentric bands around it.
"This is similar to the orb I had you fire in earlier. I have adjusted it so that when it reaches certain magical potencies it will glow separate colors… if it starts to glow yellow, you have expended one quarter of your safe magic. If it glows blue… half. Red is a third, and green is your maximum. For now we shall stop at yellow and proceed from there." Dumbledore informed me.
I agreed readily as I just wanted to try it out.
"Now Harry… How about we try a Lumos? Professor Connelly informed me he taught you spell mining…" Dumbledore asked. I nodded remembering the useful skill.
"Good, for now, try to cast a Lumos within the ball. Verbally." Dumbledore instructed.
I had reached the point in my training where I need only glance at a room to be able to place a spell with in it. Instead of taking about a minute to think up locations, it took me up to 5 seconds. A vast improvement, that left my instructor quite impressed.
Quickly visualizing where I wanted it I cast the spell. "Lumos." I intoned. Immediately a light lit the inside of the ball. I quickly checked my hand and no wand was in it… I was quite proud.
The ball barely registered any color at all. I could see a swirling silvery substance within the orb though. It was very light and barely there.
"Well done Harry, do you feel any different, any discomfort?" Dumbledore asked as he did a quick wave of his wand over my body doing a quick scan using a spell I recognized. It told the caster the state of a persons health, including magical levels… not a very in-depth scan like other spells but convenient for quick glances, and easy to cast.
"I feel fine. What's the stuff inside the ball?" I asked back as I stared at the ball. It was like transparent floating snow flakes.
"Ahh, yes that Harry, is Magic. " Dumbledore explained.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It is magic, at its most natural state; the ball extracted the magic from the spell and captured it."
I stared at the substance in… disappointment. I had always assumed magic would be some magnificent crystal like glowing substance that would take my breath away… it was rather plane, a little more extravagant than mist really.
"You appear to be in good health, do you wish to continue?" Dumbledore asked, already knowing I would say yes.
Next he asked me to cast the spell silently. It was actually easier to cast wandless; silent spells that is. He next asked me to mask the spells visibility which was slightly difficult as I had to picture a light spell invisible, but I managed to perform the conundrum eventually. We moved on to more defensive spells. I cast a Protego, again by using the spell mining technique, which I found infinitely useful as I could protect others now using the spell. Something I considered very likely to be needed. After running through the same cycle, I tried casting stupefies, wingardiums, accio's, a slew of more aggressive spells, some prank spells I had learnt, and finally a Patronus. That finally pushed the glow of the orb to a slight bluish yellow hue. Not green but definitely yellowy blue.
After which Dumbledore had me stop and I let him scan my state. He looked on in surprise and re cast the spell.
Quickly changing spells he cast a more thorough spell, and pondered the results.
"It appears I have good news to give you Harry." He said perplexed.
"Professor?" I asked.
"The orb indicates that you have reached quarter saturation, a little over infact. Yet my diagnostic spells indicate you are at one fifth and decreasing." Dumbledore said in slight amazement.
"Sir?" I asked confused. Was the orb not working right?
"A normal witch or wizard will take approximately a day to dissipate the residual magic; you have a much higher rate. Approximately… "He re cast the spell twice within ten seconds… and paused as he did the numbers.
"About 1,000 units per second." He informed me.
"Is that a lot?" I asked.
"Consider it this way. You can cast one stupefy, and it will take you about… 15 seconds for you to be at the same level of saturation you were at before you cast it." Dumbledore explained.
"So… I could just keep casting over and over, and not reach my limit then?" I asked in excitement at the possibility. I had no limits if I understood the man.
"To an extent yes, but if you were to use much more magic demanding spells or to over exert certain spells, then you would reach your limit much quicker… it will become more understandable to you once you master our meditative exercises but until then, please do not try and cast any more spells than you have tonight using your wandless abilities…" he warned.
"Wait… I can use it away from you?" I asked. I thought he asked me not to use the ability unless I was with him.
Dumbledore quirked an eye at me. "Are you telling me you haven't given in to the temptation? I'm sorry Harry; I had assumed you might have indulged once or twice with out telling me. I am quite impressed by your will power; I doubt I would have had such patience at your age." Dumbledore complimented me.
I tried not to feel too pleased by his compliment.
"Never the less, I am allowing you to use it, or I suppose you can say I am no longer frowning upon you using it. I dare say, I can not order you to not use this ability of yours; but I ask that you use it to a minimum and maintain the secrecy we have adhered to. It would not do for the wrong person to get wind of your capabilities, as the wizarding public would not react well to a person who could never be disarmed. Let alone Voldemort." Dumbledore soberly remarked.
I quickly agreed and felt a little pride in the trust Dumbledore was giving me. My illusions that the man was perfect and had all the answers had been shattered long ago, but I still held him in high regard.
… .. … .. …
I was wondering whether I should tell Ron about my ability. He knew I could cast spells wandless, but he believed I could only cast them under the Headmaster's presence so he had not asked me to show him any spells; which I appreciated. But now that I was free to use them, I wondered whether I should show him.
Especially considering I had no intention of showing Hermione.
Hermione knew practically nothing about it. Even Luna knew more on the subject after sitting in on the conversation with the headmaster yesterday morning. If I were to show Ron, I felt like it would just emphasise how little she knew of my life and how much I was hiding from her.
There was a point at which I was maintaining my privacy, and a point when I was just being spiteful… I feared I might have become the latter.
I certainly had every right to keep this a secret, and I certainly had a right to inform who ever I pleased, but my damned guilty conciounce was starting to rear its ugly nagging head.
To reveal to Hermione that Ron, and Luna of all people were aware of it before her, it would not go over well.
And really, I didn't want her to know at all. It's not that I didn't trust her, but lately our relationship had been fluctuating too easily. This kind of information felt like it should only be given to those I had a more stable relationship with. In reality I felt more stability with Neville than I did with Hermione. I wasn't about to go and freely tell Neville all my deep dark secrets, but the point was the same.
Deciding to place this on the back burner for now, I walked the halls of Hogwarts. Class had just ended for me, and I was about to grab my things and head to the Room of Requirement for my usual study sessions when I heard a familiar voice.
"Get off, what's your problem!"
"You think you can hurt my family like that and get away with it…" An unfamiliar voice asked in anger.
Quickly running around the corner I spotted a ragged Neville who was ducking a punch and walking backwards and away from a slightly familiar Slytherin.
"What the Hell are you talking about?!" He cried in exasperation as the boy charged him.
"Hey!" I called in anger as I ran over with my wand out to help my friend.
The boy turned to look at me but quickly dismissed me and continued to pursue Neville.
"You cost my Farther his eye, you brought shame on my family… I'll kill you Longbottom!" He raged as he kept trying to hit Neville. I had to hand it to Neville, he sure could duck.
"What the hell are you talking about!" Neville cried in frustration as he sidestepped another punch but trapped himself in a corner.
"Leave Neville alone!" I cried in anger as I ran up to the boy and pushed him aside and into the wall. He grunted but quickly pushed me away and tried to re-chase Neville, who had thankfully gotten out of the corner.
"This doesn't concern you Potter" he said distractedly as he pursued Neville.
"The hell it doesn't" I cried in anger as I re-pushed him aside and held him against the wall.
The boy was strong, a seventh year.
As I held him back, I finally got a good look at his face.
"You're that kid from the Train." I said in comprehension, remembering the last unknown kid who had been glaring at Neville hatefully that day.
"Put me down Potter." he demanded. He was very strong. Deciding to call on my magic I used a spell that created pressure to apply force to any object at will. I had been taught it to use to push or punch enemies away, or an alternative to the wingardium as it does not actually cast magic on an object so much as it does the air. I had however used it to hold the boy against the wall as if I had a blanket to wrap around his legs. With a wand of course, as this spell was draining and I didn't want to risk my health so early on in my spell casting.
I turned to look at Neville who was staring angrily at the boy who had attacked him.
"What's this all about Neville?" I asked.
"I don't know, he keeps coming after me." He huffed as he was winded from the exercise. The boy himself was huffing as well. His dark eyes glinting with malice indicating his stamina would not stop him though.
"Who are you…?" I demanded.
He didn't answer me. I turned to look at Neville.
"He says his name is Dmitry Macnaire." Neville said huffily not realizing the significance of the name.
"Macnaire?" I questioned while turning back to look at the boy. He was a handsome fellow, not at all reminiscent to the moustached executioner. I had not even realized the man had children or a family. But why was he…
"What happened to your farther?" I demanded.
His hateful eyes turned on me. "He lost his eye, they don't receive treatment in Azkaban for wounds as they don't want to subject healers to the dementors, and they want the prisoners to die. He lost his eye because of that Bastard. The infection is spreading also… did you know that… The healers told me that more than likely it would follow the nerves back to his brain… it may make him blind in the other eye then… Do you know how shameful that is? The dishonour it will cause our family to have a blind man in the family." He spat in anger. He sounded a little crazed as well, which put me more on edge.
I turned to look at Neville. "Macnaire was the man you saved me from. The one you put Hermione's wand through the eye socket." I informed him. I had assumed he had maybe bruised the man, at most. I had not imagined the man had lost an eye in the encounter. It was deeply unsettling even though he was an enemy at the time.
Neville's face paled, under the realization. Turning to look at the boy, his eyes took on a more sympathetic but still angry look.
"Let him down." He commanded.
I wanted to object but there was an edge to Neville's voice that was not usually there. The same edge that was there in his eyes when he dared me, Ron, and Hermione to make fun of him at St. Mungos a year ago.
Slowly I let him go, while releasing the spell I held him under.
It was not even a second before the boy lunged at Neville. What shocked me more was the fact that Neville lunged first and knocked him back against the wall?
I had never seen Neville behave violently, ever. This was a side to him that never surfaced. I watched as he held him with his forearm against his throat half choking the kid against the wall as he clawed at Neville's arm.
"I know why you're angry now…" he said in a half whisper. The edge was there still.
"I understand that now. But I won't apologize for trying to stay alive that day, or helping out a friend. If you come after me, I will come after you. Is that clear?" He said. The boy stared hatefully at him. I was very unnerved. This was something I could see myself doing or Ron… definitely Ron; but never Neville.
He was very intimidating.
The boy didn't answer.
Neville's arm pushed in further, eliciting a chocked gasp.
"Do you understand?" He demanded again.
"Yes…" the boy wheezed with Hate.
Neville stepped back and released the boy. I could see his arms trembling under the agitation he was feeling. He was preparing himself for a fight. To me there was a very definite possibility that one would occur.
And I was right.
The boy suddenly lunged at Neville with a cry of primal anger. I could not have prevented it if I had tried.
The Boy swung a fist and hit Neville in the face. Neville's body swung with the hit as he turned over to his left and away from me. That's what hid his left hook as he sent a punch right back at the boy. Hitting him squarely in the eye.
"Shit…" I cried as I quickly got in-between the two boys and pushed them apart. I honestly wasn't sure who needed to be protected from the other. Normally I would have said it was Neville that needed it, but the two were fairly evenly matched.
"Stop it you two… Do you want a teacher to come and find you fighting?" Honestly I knew neither cared. But I had managed to separate them long enough that they were able to contain there anger.
"This isn't over Longbottom." Dmitry warned.
"I know." Neville said calmly as he swiped blood from his split lip. I was proud to say that Dmitry had a split eyebrow and was guaranteed a shiner later on.
Both boys stared hard at one another before they reached a mutual understanding and walked in separate directions… I was terribly confused but decided to catch up with Neville instead of waiting and watching the two boys walk off.
"What was that…?" I demanded.
Neville was still huffing in exertion and I knew he was coming down from his adrenaline high, I knew that feeling well enough to know what it was like.
Neville avoided looking at me for a moment and I let him answer at his own pace. It was both to let him set the tone of the conversation and also because I clearly did not know the boy as well as I thought I had.
Finally…
"I took away Macnair's sight. That's bad for a Pureblood… its bad for anyone but purebloods specificly. There family is disgraced. Sight is very important. To take away any sense from a pureblood is to limit them, to make them less useful, inferior. It reflects badly on the family to allow it. Dmitry wanted revenge. It's common." Neville informed me.
I was a little startled that I kind of understood what he meant, but still. I had never anticipated Neville being willing to fight back in such a way, or for such ideals.
Neville continued on… seemingly understanding what I was thinking.
"He challenged me, and if I had not accepted, that shame is passed on to my family. Normally I wouldn't care, but that would look bad on my parents… upon Gran. I won't allow that. She holds these views and customs with high regard." Neville informed me.
He was starting to reach the withdrawal stage. His fists were trembling and he was going to feel slightly week and jittery now.
I kind of understood that, and it made more sense. But still. I just couldn't resolve the two Neville's. The kind boy who avoided confrontations but was loyal to a fault; and the boy who's anger and violent streak set me on edge. He was a true sleeping dragon.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone." He said more calmly. I quickly nodded as I realized I had some how lost control of my vocal chords and could not utter a word to the boy.
"Thanks… I've got to get to the green houses, I'll see you later." Neville said. As he started to walk ahead.
Stopping a few steps ahead and turning to look at me with a more familiar smile…
"And thanks for trying to help, its nice to know someone has your back." He smiled and then walked away.
I definitely did not know Neville Longbottom… at all.
AN: Well that was a whopper. Neville definitely is different than previously indicated. I finally revealed my Neville subplot. It was lucky I took a look at my outline otherwise I would have forgotten to write this.
Dmitry Macnaire. Eldest of two sons. Heir to the Macnaire name although it's not as prestigious as say Potter or Malfoy. It's still a pureblood family. The pureblood's have there own honour system, consider it like some parts of the world where traditions and beliefs overrule law, and even though the judicial system frowns on such actions, it does very little to curb it from happening. That's what I was going for here.
The purebloods view deformity and disabilities as shameful. I came to this decision as I looked at how they view muggles. They value class and hierarchy. But since magic is more a physical attribute than say wealth and influence, the pureblood hierarchy is based slightly on how fit its representatives are. So Magical Power is a big one, then money, then influence, blood purity, and finally health. People like Macnaire who aren't that wealthy or that influential, but only really have magic and there health. They are fairly low. To go lower, it's an insult to them.
I hope that made sense. Neville isn't so much fighting for himself now. He's fighting because he believes his parents valued that system based on his Gran. As she is a believer. They have Magical prowess from Neville's farther, a fair bit of influence due to their name and such, and all the rest of that stuff.
For Dmitry, It's kind of like a rich and privileged kid coming along to his orphanage and burning down their Christmas tree and then going off to Toy's R Us. You'd get mad. Even though Neville had a very good reason to defend himself and Harry. The tree is still burnt and the orphans still want the blood of the arsonist.
Harry's core isn't activated by happy memories or emotions… I honestly hate that cliché.
Everything has to revolve around happy memories and emotions in most fanfiction. No more. This is my stand. Plus it makes more sense for what I need Harry's true power to be useful for.
The snake is back… Off and on He will make an appearance. Though he won't always be the victim of Harry's taunts. But mainly he is here for comic relief… if you can call it that.