Rose panicked. What was she doing? Was she really ready?

She had never intended on anything other than collapsing onto her bed, praying that a dreamless sleep would overtake her quickly. But it hadn't. She tried taking a warm shower in the hopes that the steam would soothe her. Rose didn't think she had any tears left in her but as the hot water pounded on her back, she broke down once more, as her thoughts inevitably turned back to the Doctor… not the human one in the room next door, but the one who was now back in her old universe, traveling the stars without her.

Did he really think leaving her with a human copy of himself would be enough to negate the fact that he had left her behind after all she had done to get back to him? While she knew he cared a great deal for her, she was beginning to realize that she must have really misjudged how much, regardless of what his human counterpart had whispered in her ear. Humiliation overtook her as she recalled how she had cornered him, trying to force him to say those words. And now she was left behind, to pick up the pieces of a broken life, again… only this time with a constant reminder of the face she wanted to hate so badly but couldn't manage to because she loved it so very much.

While waiting on the innkeeper to bring them their room keys, her mum had pulled her aside while the Doctor stood by the entrance fireplace, picking up random knickknacks and rifling through books on the mantel. Jackie Tyler had given her daughter a gentle hug and then held her out at arm's length, to ensure that she was listening.

"Sweetheart, I know you're hurting, but listen to me… that man over there didn't ask to be left here either. "

Rose couldn't do this right now. She closed her eyes. "Mum, please. Don't, yeah? I just-"

"I know love, I know. Just promise me you won't do something you'll regret later, sweetheart. I don't understand much about what happened or where he came from, but it's obvious that he loves you. Don't do anything stupid before you've had a chance to really think about things, ok?"

Rose had sighed and looked over her shoulder. He was standing squarely in front of the fireplace, shoulders hunched, hands back in his pockets, staring intently at the fire. He looked exhausted.

"But he's not him mum."

Jackie gave her daughter a sad smile. "No, he's not. And neither was Pete. But we made it work, didn't we?"

Rose began to object, knowing her mother would approach it from that angle, but Jackie had cut her off.

"I know it isn't the same, but Rose, we both had to learn to love again despite the painful reminder staring us in the face each day. You know how much I missed your father but Pete never replaced him. You don't have to forget him, love… but please, don't shut the door on something that could make you happy just because it isn't exactly what you wanted."

And with that Jackie Tyler had given her another tight hug, taken the keys to her room from the innkeeper, and marched off with one more backwards glance at the man by the fireplace. The Doctor had looked up just then and his gaze followed Jackie out of the room before snapping back to Rose. She had never been more terrified than at that moment, alone with the man that was both so familiar yet a complete stranger to her. Not knowing what else to do, she had decided to follow her mother's advice. She needed time to think before anything else happened.

"Well, I'm exhausted… I'm going to bed," she managed to get out.

Sensing her need for space he had just nodded and followed after her, quietly. They said an awkward goodnight at her door and Rose had then quickly retreated to the solace of her room.

Done with her shower, she was now back in bed, trying desperately to shut her mind off. She was so exhausted; her body aching from a combination of today's events as well as the accumulated wear and tear of weeks of jumps in the dimensional cannon. She couldn't remember the last time she had had more than a few hours of sleep in weeks. Rose had a feeling tonight would be another one of those sleepless nights.

From her bed she could see the sky through a window. She let out a quiet sigh, relief flooding through her that at least one thing had gone according to plans that day. The stars were back. Without meaning to, her thoughts turned to the man next door. She momentarily wondered if he felt their pull as much as she did and then quickly chastised herself. Of course he must, probably more so than she ever could or would. If he really was the Doctor and shared his every thought and memory, then he had lost much more than just his TARDIS today. That problem might not be permanent, but there were plenty other things he had been forced to give up by the Time Lord. And even with this knowledge, he had still given her what her Doctor had refused to.

For the second time in an hour shame overwhelmed her.

Not knowing what she would say, but suddenly feeling the inexplicable need to be near him, Rose climbed out of bed and got dressed again. She made two cups of tea in her little kitchenette, the routine of a ritual practiced so often calming her. Within a few minutes she was standing outside his door waiting for him to answer. It was then that she had panicked.

Her courage failing, she started turning back towards her room when suddenly the door opened and there he was, wide eyed and looking a bit out of breath.

"Rose! Yes, I'm awake!" he practically yelled as he gave her that manic smile she so loved.

Unable to control herself, a quiet giggle erupted from her lips as she took in the sight of his crumpled up suit and hair sticking up every which way. He certainly looked like her Doctor.

His grin softened and eyes twinkled at her tiny laugh. His heart stuttered and then picked back up, double time. Taking it as a good sign that she was standing there with two steaming mugs, the Doctor opened his door a bit wider and stepped back. "Do… do you want to come in? I mean, if you want… Or not, you don't have to; we can talk right here if that suits you better! Lovely hallway, this! Oh, brilliant, look at this Rose, it's a White-throated Dipper!" he said pointing to a painting on the wall opposite his door. "This is Norway's national bird, well I'm not sure about here but it is back on the other Earth. Absolutely marvelous little creatures, they are! Did you know that these little guys are said to be able to walk underwater, thereby defying the laws of specific gravity? They really can't, of course, but they use their wings to hold themselves down and with their tiny talons they grip-"

"Doctor!"

His mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

"Can I come in for a bit? I just… I thought maybe we could talk… I mean, if you're not tired… or we could just talk tomorrow, that's fine, too. I- I guess it's late and we do have an early drive to Bergen. Sorry, I'll let you get back to bed." Now it was Rose's turn to ramble.

The Doctor relaxed a bit and smiled again.

"Oh no, I'm fine Rose, really. Besides, wouldn't want to waste a good cuppa!" He took his mug from her with a wink as he walked back into his room and motioned for her to follow.

Rose said a silent plea that this wasn't a mistake and walked in after him, shutting the door behind her. The Doctor was heading towards the couch by his fireplace. She followed. He sat at one end and she sat on the other, putting her mug down on a table in front of them. They both pretended to be momentarily distracted by something; the Doctor blowing on his tea and then taking a sip as Rose picked at some lint on her jumper. An awkward silence stretched out between them and when it had become deafening, they both looked up and started talking.

"Rose, I'm so glad you-"

"So… I just wanted to-"

They smiled nervously at one another and cleared their throats. Rose brushed a stray hair away from her face. The Doctor stayed silent and let her collect her thoughts. He really had no idea what to say to her and perhaps it would be best if she led the conversation. He didn't want to muck things up when she had finally decided to speak to him.

"I… I just wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for how I reacted, back there on the beach. That wasn't very fair of me."

"Rose, you don't have to apologize. I know this is hard for you, and I'm so sorry… I wish there were something I could do to help."

At this, Rose felt herself losing composure again and she cursed the tears that began to slowly make their way down her face. This had been a bad idea.

In an instant, the Doctor was by her side, having crossed the empty space between them without a second thought. Instinctively his hand sought out one of hers and he held it, brushing his thumb over her knuckles, a familiar and soothing gesture to them both.

For a short while Rose said nothing, trying to reign herself in. Neither did the Doctor, he just continued to hold her hand. This time the silence was not awkward. Hurting and confused as she was, Rose felt gratitude for the man sitting next to her, holding her hand, concern emanating from him even though he was in equal need of comfort and reassurance. She knew she needed to give him a chance, but first she needed to make peace with what had occurred on that beach just hours past. This meant she needed answers, and if he was who he said he was, he should be able to give them to her.

"Doctor… you said that you have the same thoughts and memories and feelings as him, right?"

"Yes Rose, that's correct."

"So, what you said to me on the beach…"

The Doctor groaned internally, he knew where she was going with this and wondered how he would explain his other self's actions without hurting her further.

"You're wondering why he didn't tell you."

Rose nodded, unable to meet his gaze.

"Oh Rose… do you remember what I said to you, outside that little café, that night with Sarah Jane?"

"You mean when I asked you- him if he would ever leave me behind like he left her. The night when he promised that I was different?" Rose could feel anger welling up inside of her again.

"Bugger, maybe that wasn't the best way to approach things," he thought to himself as Rose suddenly looked up at him in defiance.

"Yes, that night. But Rose, listen… you asked why I- he had never mentioned her before. Do you remember the answer to that question?"

Rose pulled her hand away, but still needing to hold onto something, she reached for her tea. After taking a sip she kept the mug in her hands and stared at the dark amber liquid as it shook slightly.

"Yeah, I remember. Something about humans withering away and dying…. And having to live on alone, without us."

"Right. Losing everyone you love, the curse of the Time Lords, Rose. "

And just like that, at the sound of his agonized voice, she felt her anger dissipate as she looked back up and met his tortured gaze.

"You may think it's not true because he didn't say it, but Rose, it's because he feels it that he couldn't say it."

Rose searched his face, looking for that familiar look her Doctor would often get when he was hiding something from her. The blank, almost detached look he had given her at the beach when she practically begged him to tell her. She couldn't find it now however, not on this face.

"But… I would have stayed with him, forever. I'm sorry… I don't say that to hurt you, but I would have. I hurtled myself through endless universes just to find him. For years I thought of nothing other than how to get back to him… and then I did, and he… he just left. I don't- I just can't… how do you do that to someone you love?"

And with that Rose Tyler lost hold of the last shred of control she had managed to regain and found herself weeping again, only this time she was not alone. The Doctor wrapped his arms around his beautiful pink and yellow girl and pressed a feather light kiss to the top of her head. He began to gently rock her as she sobbed uncontrollably; wishing he had two hearts again, for perhaps it wouldn't hurt quite so badly if they had each other to share the pain.

He held her for a long time, and she allowed him to. It was so disconcerting to be sobbing about another man in the arms of someone who looked, sounded, and even smelled like him. But it also felt right, like she was home again… except that she wasn't. This wasn't him and she knew that she would have to accept that and move on, but she didn't know how… or even if she could.

As she began quieting down, the Doctor began talking again, softly, trying not to upset her, but needing to be heard.

"Rose Tyler… please, please believe me when I say that leaving you was the hardest thing he has had to do in a very, very long time. But he did it so that you could live the kind of life you deserve to live, and be loved the way you need to be loved. He knew he couldn't give you that, Rose… not the way you would have wanted. I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry."

Slowly she pulled herself out of his arms and met his gaze once more, searching for any trace of deceit or avoidance. What she found instead were a pair of equally red eyes, and a face that conveyed a mixture of despair and hope, warring one with the other.

"And you… you want to give me that, Doctor?"

Closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers, he let out a long, slow breath, and cupped her face in his hands. Eyes still closed he responded, "If you will let me, Rose, I will spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you have made me. I will tell you every day, a million times a day if that's what it takes, how very much I love you." And with that he placed a kiss on her forehead and leaned back, giving her space and effectively handing her his only heart to do with what she saw fit.

Rose took a deep breath and reached out with her hand, once again placing it over his heart the way she had done earlier that day. She could feel it racing beneath her palm and without averting her gaze, as she had done many times this evening, she asked, "Will you give me some time? Please, I… I need you to be patient with me, Doctor."

"Of course, Rose. Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere," he said with a sad smile.

Her heart broke (for him this time) as she contemplated this man who was and wasn't her Doctor but who was showing more love and kindness than she deserved at the moment. She wasn't being fair to him, she knew, as guilt wormed its way into her stomach.

"Goodnight, Doctor… and thank you," she said as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. She returned to her room and crawled into bed, clothes and all, falling asleep within seconds.