Chapter 16

Fighting the Demon

Here is the next chapter. I am so sorry it has been so long since my last update. My grandfather has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and has been brought home for the time that remains. I have been helping my grandma with his care and running errands. I hope that you all understand. I haven't found much time to do much but take care of my daughter, help out with my grandparents and then sleep. I hope you enjoy this. I will try and do two chapters today. Thank you for sticking with me.

Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. The two alchemists surprised us all with their fighting skills, they were just about as good as the guardians. Chris and I spent time together, but nothing exclusive. I was still working out all the feelings I was having, not sure I wanted to have them. Sydney had taken a liking to Chris, despite the apparent fear and animosity the alchemists had toward anything vampire. Zane and Elli were spending a lot of time together as well.

Viktoria had reluctantly gone back to school although she begged to stay, but Olena wouldn't allow it. She flirted with Chris all the way up until the last day she was home. As she was getting ready to leave, she pulled me into a bear hug, whispering in my ear. "I like you Rose, I really do. Have fun with Chris, I know you like him. But when I get back I will give you a run for your money." She smiled and walked out the door. Oh well. I thought.

As trainings went on and then on our time off, I noticed Chris and Sydney spending more and more time together. Maybe he had decided to move on after all. But who could blame him? I was the one holding out, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Lissa and I sat down to lunch one day and the conversation took a turn towards my non-existent love life. She was never one to keep her thoughts to herself so I figured I was in for a long conversation.

"Rose, what's going on with you? You have completely pushed Chris away. Are you ever going to admit that you have feelings for him?"

I just shrugged. I was so afraid of loving someone and then losing them. I didn't think I could go through that kind of pain again. I still missed Adrian so much and I didn't want to bring that baggage into a new relationship.

"Rose, you're going to lose him you know."

"I know, I know. I just can't seem to do it." I glanced over at the table where Chris sat with Tasha, Syd, Zane, Elli and Sonya. "I may have already lost. And it would be all my fault."

"Well, you need to follow your heart. That's all I can tell you." she paused to take a bite of her pasta. "Hey, we're all going out tonight since we have tomorrow off, you game?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I need to go shopping first though. Wanna come with me?"

"Sure sounds fun." We finished eating and made our way back to the gym. As we walked out of the cafeteria Olena came out of the kitchen wiping her hands, she had insisted on cooking for us, smiling.

"See you all for dinner."

"Bye Mom." We all said in unison. We were just a big family here. Olena as our mom and Abe as our dad.

Training was normal. Sometimes it was almost monotonous. After we were finished Lissa and I headed for the mall. I wasn't sure what I was after, but I knew I wanted to push some limits. We went to Victoria's Secret were I bought black lace lingerie. We headed out to another store and I was browsing the racks when a red shirt caught my eye. I had a black mini skirt and black knee high boots I was planning on wearing and this shirt just matched the outfit perfectly. Those limits I wanted to push were going to break tonight. I knew deep down inside that I was asking for trouble as I took the red button up shirt off the rack, inspecting it. It was made of a beautiful see through gossamer, and was so soft to the touch. It was perfect. The black lace bra I bought would look perfect under it.

Lissa walked up to me and looked the shirt over. "What are you up to Rose? That could get you into trouble."

"I just want something different. Sexy. That's all."

Lissa just shrugged, knowing that when I got in this kind of mood, there was no talking to me. We returned home and I headed to my room to get ready. After I showered, I rolled my hair in curlers and did my makeup. As I was putting my lipstick on, I looked in the mirror and flashed back to a time Adrian and I were getting ready to go out.

Adrian came out of the bathroom dressed in black jeans and a light pink button up shirt. His hair was it's usual deliberate messy style, and the smell of sandalwood drifted into my nose. I had my hair up and was putting on my lipstick as he ran his lips across my bare shoulders.

"I love you, you know." He said smiling.

"I know." I said as I turned my head to reach his lips.

He smiled as he broke this kiss and headed to the bed where my outfit was waiting for me. It was a short pink slip dress, not one of my favorite colors, but it was what he wanted me to wear that night.

"Why can't I wear my red dress like I had planned? Red looks better on me anyway." I said with a fake pout.

"Because I look good in pink and it is a Valentines Day party and everyone will be in red. We want to be different." He said with that sly smile of his and his green eyes gleaming.

"Oh fine." I got up and walked over to put the dress on. He helped me zip it up and then turned me around to face him.

His finger traced the outline of my bottom lip. "I will love you forever Rosemarie Hathaway. Always." He leaned down and kissed me gently.

I pulled back and looked him in the eye. "I will love you until my last breath. No one but you."

He smiled, then got a serious look on his face. "Don't make promises you may not be able to keep. The sun may shine on us now, but that may not be our destiny."

Coming back to the present I thought about that. At the time I thought it was just another one of his ramblings that he got from time to time from his use of spirit. Now I saw the whole picture. I wasn't sure I was ready to fall in love with someone else yet. I wanted to fill that hole in my heart that was made when Adrian died. I just wasn't sure I should want to be happy like that twice in my life when some people never get the chance once. Maybe that's what this outfit and pushing the lines was all about. Wanting something other than love to be the reason I felt anything again.

I finished up, letting my hair fall down my back in curls and looked myself over in the mirror. I looked sexy, bordering on sluttish. I definitely was going to have the attention of the males, possibly even the women.

My door opened and Lissa walked in. "Damn Rose. You know how to go all out don't you?" she said with a smile. "You do look good though."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I just want to let loose."

We headed to the door and I pulled Adrian's leather coat on and we walked to the cars.

When we arrived at the bar I checked my coat and got a reaction from the guys. Their jaws bounced off the floor and their girlfriends were not shy about slapping them. It was pretty comical.

Just then Christian came up to me and whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "What are you trying to do Rose? Are you trying to get into trouble?"

"God Blaze, lighten up. I'm just wanting some fun. That's all." I said with a seductive smile.

"Well, you can do that with a few more clothes in place you know. You're going to draw the wrong crowd."

"Then I guess you either better stay close or not look." I said as I walked towards the bar. I saw Sydney walk up to him and I turned my attention to the bar.

Chris doesn't want her like that. He wants you, only you. You're heading down a very destructive path. I am not going to stand around and watch it. Lissa spoke through the bond, and it kinda pissed me off.

Then don't watch Liss. I didn't ask for a babysitter and I can take care of myself. I said and then headed to the bar, ordered a shot of tequila and looked at the dance floor. I headed that way, found a spot and let the music start to flow through me. People came up and danced with me, men and women alike, but I didn't really notice them. I was imagining dancing with Adrian, and suddenly it was just the two of us and he was there, I could feel him in my arms.

"Rose," Adrian laughed. "What are you doing?" he said as his gaze traveled my body.

"Having fun." I said back.

"Rose, this isn't you. you're punishing yourself. Christian wants you for you, not your body or sex appeal. Although, you look incredibly sexy, but this isn't the way. Give him a chance, take the risk. Remember what I said, be happy. You deserve it." He placed a kiss on my forehead and disappeared as the other people around me came back into focus.

I swear, I'm having a breakdown. I thought as I walked off the dance floor and headed for Lissa's table.

"I'm leaving." She got up. "No, you stay. I have to do something alone, then I'm going to my room. Just wanted to let you know." She nodded and I headed to get my coat and call Abe to come get me.

After Abe dropped me off, I decided to take a walk. It would be a while yet before everyone returned from the bar. Thoughts and memories of Adrian and my life came rushing back as I looked up at the sky. The dawn was just coming and it was the most beautiful site. The reds, purples, oranges, yellows, so peaceful. I found a bench and sat down, just thinking about what I should do. I loved Adrian so completely and I wasn't sure I could love anyone like that again. But I knew I had to try. After a little while I got up and made my way back to my room.

I grabbed my paper and pen and wrote a quick note to Chris. I have been waging a war in my head and heart for a while. Here it is. I want you. I need you. I can't go another day without you. I hope you haven't changed your mind. I will be waiting up for you. –Rose.

I hurried to his room and taped it to his door, then returned to my room. I changed into my sweats and a tank top, made some coffee, turned on some music, then settled down on the couch with one of my few books. I wasn't sure how long I would have to wait, but I would wait all day if I had to,

About an hour later there was a knock at my door. I opened it to searing blue eyes, black hair and his hand gripping the note.

"What is this?" he asked, not sounding very happy.

"Well, it's a note." I said matter of factly. I moved so he could come inside. "I think it's quite obvious what it is."

"Cut the crap Rose. Why now? Why tonight? he was fuming.

"Why not? Did you want me to wait until tomorrow? Or at least later today as the case may be?" I was getting pissed. "Maybe so you could get some from Sydney then be able to get some from me?" at that he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him.

"She's a friend. I don't look at her that way. Is that why you did this?" his breath was getting heavy. "I meant, why tonight? When you look like this, when you were doing everything to get my attention? You already had it. All you had to do was say the words." He put his head down and began walking to the door. "I just want to hear the words." His hand was on the knob. I wasn't sure what to say.

I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think.

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