Don't Say Goodbye

By: Iceyicecream

Chapter 24: I Want…

I looked up at him to see those piercing brown eyes staring at me. "What?" I said confused.

"What do you want?" He repeated, "Do you want to be with me? Or would you rather we go our separate ways?"

"Oh my, (Y/N) what are you doing outside?"
Both you and Tezuka turned to see your mother holding groceries. You hurried to help her. "Thank you." She said, "Ah if it isn't Tezuka-Kun! I haven't seen you in a while! How has school been?"
Tezuka bowed. "It's been fine, thank you for asking. How are you?"
"I'm doing good! Oh how sweet! Thank you for walking my daughter home."
Tezuka shook his head and showed her his polite smile. "There's no need to thank me. It would be wrong if I didn't make sure she came home safely."
Your mother smiled. "Oh my! Well why don't you stay for dinner? We have more than enough for an extra person."

"Okaa-San." You said.

"No, I wouldn't want to be a burden."
Your mother laughed and grabbed his arm. "No burden at all! Come, come!"

Inside the House

"Ne (Y/N) take Tezuka-Kun to your room until dinner is ready."
"Why can't we stay in the living room?" You asked mortified at the thought of it being just you and Tezuka.
"Well don't you two have homework? You guys should do that where it's quiet and I doubt your Oto-San will."
You turned to see your dad screaming and cheering for the game on T.V. You sighed and you made your journey to your room. "Come in." You say glumly as Tezuka wakes in.
"It hasn't changed much from the last time I was in here."
You shrugged. "You want something to drink?" You ask him.

He shakes his head. You sigh and take out your math homework. "Well I guess while you're here, you can help me with this."
Tezuka pushed up his glasses. "Alright."

You stared at the problem…stared…stared…stared…stared…"UGH!" You say pushing your book away out of frustration, "This makes no sense!"
Tezuka slides your text book over to look at the problem. "What don't you get from number one?" He asked.

"All of it." You answer bluntly and slam your head into your table, "It makes no sense."
Tezuka evaluated the problem and pushed the book back to you. "Break the equation apart and then try to answer."
You grumbled as you did as you were instructed and you smiled. "Oh my kami-sama! I did it!" You showed him your answer and he nodded his head.

You fist pumped the air. You continued your homework with a smile on your face. You soon realized after a while that Tezuka was staring at you. You turned to him. "Uhh…is there something on my face?"
He shook his head. "I'm still waiting for you answer."
You looked down at your work. "Oh." You say crestfallen, you had hoped he had forgotten but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

You rubbed the back of your neck. "When will you be back from Germany?" You asked.

"It all depends."
Your heart ached at the thought. "I see." You answered.

Tense silence filled the air. You tried to do the next problem but you couldn't focus. You cursed in frustration and got up. "I'm going to get something to drink, do you want anything?" You asked.

"No, I'm fine."
"Hn." You say and head down stairs.
But then you could hear your parents' voices down stairs. "Tezuka-Kun is such a nice boy don't you think honey?" Your mother asked.

"Hm…he seems like a descent boy, but (Y/N) has been acting strangely lately. I'm just worried that it's because of him." Your father answered.

"It's probably a lovers' quarrel!" Your mother said, "All relationships are bound to have quarrels."
Your father sighed, "I know that love, but I'm just worried that, that boy is going to end up making her cry. I can't bear to see her cry."

"No one enjoys seeing their child cry, but it's bound to happen."
Your father let out yet another sigh. "When did she start thinking about boys?"
Your mother laughed, "Who knows? It's always different for everybody."
You made more noise down the stairs so it seemed like you had just come out. "Is dinner almost ready Okaa-San?" You asked as you headed to the fridge to get something to drink.

"In half an hour," She answered, "Do you think Tezuka-Kun might want a snack?"
You shook his head. "He said he was fine. Your mother gave you a plate of snacks. "Just in case the two of your change your mind." Your mother said with her usual smile.

You sighed, "Thanks mom."

And you headed back upstairs. Tezuka eyed the tray of snacks and you sighed. "My mom wanted me to bring them just in case you felt like snacking on something."
"Hn." He answered.

You placed the tray to the side and continued your homework.

You twisted the bottle cap open and chugged the oolong tea. You felt some tea running down your chin and you stopped drinking and hurried to wipe it away embarrassed. You looked at Tezuka to see if he saw that to find him reading a book. His eyes scanning the characters one by one analyzing and understanding everything that his eyes were perceiving. You watched curiously as he read, it was so mesmerizing the way he held himself and how his lips would sometimes purse together or he would frown. You giggled and gasped when he looked up at you. "Sorry." You said sheepishly as you looked down at your lap.

He didn't reply and you didn't look back up. You could hear movement in front of you and you looked up and squeaked to find Tezuka merely centimeters away. "Yes?" You asked panicking.

"I want an answer." He said.

You gulped and tried to scoot away from him. "I think dinner is ready." You said getting up and hurrying to the door.

You opened it but immediately it was shut. Besides your head was a hand pressed against the door. You slowly turned to find yourself trapped between Tezuka's arms. "Ummm."
"Answer the question." He said.

You blinked and kept your gaze away from his. Because you knew…if you caught his gaze you would become his prisoner. "We should really head down stairs." You said trying to change the topic, "My Okaa-San will start to wonder."
"Not until you tell me what you want."
You finally looked up into his piercing eyes. "Do you really want to know?" You asked challenging him.

"Yes." He said without hesitation.

You cursed under your breath. "Why does it matter what I think?" You spat, "You already broke up with me and that should have been it. You should have never talked to me after that unless it was necessary but somehow the gods keep being jerks and putting us back together."
"Because it does." Tezuka says.
"That's not a good enough reason!" You scream, "Just because you say it is doesn't mean it is! That's not how it works Tezuka!" You say as your voice gets softer, "You're being unfair."
"Then what do you want me to say?" He asked, "Do you want me to tell you all the feelings and things I've never said or showed you?"
You looked up confused. "What?"
He ran his hand through his hair. "Do you want to know what I want?"

You looked down. You heart ached and you were confused. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. He always made you feel this way. This aching feeling of wanting him to hold you and to say sweet nothings to you. You wanted to know all of his deepest and darkest secrets…to be the one to heal all the wounds that were said to be scars forever. "I want to know." You whispered.

His hand gently cups your chin and tilts your head up so you're looking at him. So many emotions you've never seen, so many feelings that couldn't be said with words. His lips were on yours. His lips warm against yours kissing you with longing and sent waves of pure bliss throughout your body. You kissed him back and urged him to kiss you more. This fierce fiery kiss tingled and caused the adrenaline to run throughout your body. Your hands were tangled in his hair while his arms were wrapped protectively around your waist bringing you closer. He broke the kiss so that two of you could breath and you could feel your face heat up and your breathing was irregular. He leaned his forehead against yours and you could feel his breath tickling your face. "Do you understand? What I want?" He whispered.

You closed your eyes and nodded your head slowly. "I love you."