The sun was rising, its rays gently percolating through the blinds, giving Rose's room a warm glow. The Doctor lay awake, his arms around her as she slept with her back to him again. Smiling softly, he brushed some of her hair aside and pressed a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder. She stirred momentarily, pressing herself closer to him and he grinned, tightening his arms around her. If he lived to be one hundred (well, in human years, that is) The Doctor knew he would never ever tire of this, waking up to his beautiful Rose. The newness of what they had just shared made the moment that much sweeter.
As he ran his fingers lightly over her stomach, he noticed an area of skin that was raised and slightly puckered. It wasn't very wide but as he followed it across to her hip he realized it was quite long. It reminded him of something else his hands had come across earlier, though he had been too engrossed in other activities to stop and question her about it. Now that his mind was clearer and not otherwise engaged, he slid his hand down her thigh and found a similar patch of skin and then up and around to her back, just below her left shoulder blade. Keeping her covered enough so that she wouldn't get cold, he pulled the sheets back just a bit to get a better look at what his fingers were feeling. Although the room was still semi-dark, there was sufficient light for him to clearly see that what he was looking at was a scar of some sort.
Thinking back to the times he had seen Rose in a swimsuit, be it in the TARDIS pool or on one of the many planets they had visited, he couldn't recall ever seeing any significant scarring on her body. Not that he'd been looking, of course… weeeeell, alright, so maybe he had. She had acquired a handful of injuries during their travels together but he had always carted her straight away to the infirmary onboard in order to tend to her wounds, using the dermal regenerator to patch her up with minimal to no scarring at all. No, these had to be new. His brow furrowed as he lightly slid a finger back and forth across the scar, shiny and just a tiny bit darker in hue than the rest of her pale pink skin. He knew she'd been doing dangerous work for Torchwood in their years apart but he wondered if she had downplayed just how dangerous it had been. Slipping his arm back around her, he closed his eyes and allowed his mind and body to relax again, feeling for once that this human need for sleep was not such a terrible thing after all.
When Rose opened her eyes she was greeted by the most adorable smile she had ever seen. The Doctor's eyes were sparkling with mischief and his cheeks were flushed, as if she had caught him with his hand in the jam jar again. She gave him a lazy smile as she stretched. One of his eyebrows shot up into his messy fringe and his grin widened.
Giggling, Rose gave his collarbone a quick kiss. "Down boy, at least let me wake up a bit, yeah?"
The Doctor chuckled and gathered her up in his arms, pressing his lips to just below her ear. He couldn't help but whisper, "Just don't take too long, Rose… you've been asleep for aaaages!"
She could hear the pout in his voice and it turned her insides to mush. Rose knew it was going to take her a while to get used to this new side of the Doctor he had never before permitted her to see and looked forward to enjoying every single minute of it. She pulled back a bit and gave him the smile he so loved.
Reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear, the Doctor smiled back and kissed her on the forehead this time. Then he slid one of his hands slowly down her back and around to her stomach, settling on that expanse of skin he had discovered earlier.
"So… we match?"
For a second Rose did not understand what he was referring to, but then she registered the slightly numb sensation along the area he was stroking back and forth. Inwardly she sighed. She knew he would eventually find out, but wished he hadn't zeroed in on it quite so quickly. Averting her eyes, she nodded.
He said nothing for a moment, but then voiced the question he had been pondering for a few hours. "Rose… what happened to you?"
Still not looking him in the eye, she focused instead on brushing a finger lightly to and fro across the collarbone she had just kissed.
"Do you really have to ask, Doctor?"
"Torchwood."
She nodded.
"How?"
"Well… you know, missions. Hostile aliens… I know you think we are too quick to draw our guns, but sometimes it's necessary. I learned the hard way too, I suppose."
Tightening his arms around her, he tucked her head underneath his chin and sighed.
"Oh Rose, I'm so sorry."
"It's ok… I'm fine, just scars now."
"Yes, but this one…" He lightly traced the one over her abdomen again. "It could have killed you…"
Pulling back a bit, she finally met his gaze. She hadn't really known when to tell him this, but now seemed as good a time as any. She'd put it off too long already and hoped he wouldn't be angry.
"I'm not sure how, or what exactly happened but… well, you're right, it should have killed me. The surgeons have no idea how I even made it back to Torchwood alive."
The Doctor said nothing but his brows knit together, a slight scowl on his face.
"But you healed."
"Yes. My recovery was not quite as fast as yours but it was still unexpectedly swift. They wanted to run some tests but Pete wouldn't let them…"
"Tests? What kind of tests? What were they looking for exactly?" He was starting to sound a bit agitated now, his chest beginning to rise and fall quickly.
"Mostly genetic studies. They were interested in knowing if all my cannon jumping had somehow affected my DNA."
"Rose… what are you saying?"
"Doctor…I don't think it was the cannon. Things have been a bit off for a while, long before I started dimension jumping. I've not been sick since I got here… ever… not once."
She waited for the penny to drop, and when his eyes grew wide and his chest froze, she knew it had.
Jumping out of bed, he ran out of the room, a streak of pale freckly skin. Rose sat up and giggled quietly at the sight of him. Pulling up the covers around her she drew up her legs to hug her knees and waited patiently, knowing full well what he intended on doing. A few seconds later he returned, sonic in hand.
Climbing back in bed he gave an exasperated huff at the grin Rose was giving him, her eyes traveling up and down his lanky frame. He began fidgeting with his sonic but paused a moment to meet her eyes, warm and mischievous, and echoed her words earlier.
"Down girl. Let me do this first, yeah?"
Rose bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. She attempted to waggle her eyebrows the way he often did as she said in her most sultry voice possible, "You gonna sonic me Doctor?"
His hands stilled for a moment and he quickly looked up at her, a pained expression on his face. Groaning, he shook his head. "No, don't do that Rose… No, really don't… Really. "
Recalling a particularly windy afternoon on a Scottish dale with Queen Victoria looking on, Rose beamed at him.
Och! Ay! I've been oot and aboot!
He returned a knowing smile and then went back to his sonic, muttering under his breath about the benefit of one setting over another. Finally he made up his mind and began running it lightly over her, concentration and anxiety warring one with another across his features. Rose sat as still as possible, watching his face and trying to push down the knots in her stomach.
"How did I miss this when scanning you last week? I'm impossibly thick!" he yelled as he hit himself on the forehead. Hard.
"It wasn't the cannon, was it?"
He put the sonic down and looked up at her solemnly. "No Rose, it wasn't."
Reaching out to take hold of one of his hands, she took a deep breath and asked the question she had been too afraid to seriously contemplate for years. "Doctor… what's wrong with me?"
Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he scooted back under the covers and angled himself so that he was still facing her, his knees brushing her ankles.
"Rose, you're rate of cellular decay… it's been considerably altered."
"So I'm not… I'm not aging." She sounded almost resigned.
"No, you are… just a lot slower than you should be. Your cells also appear to have some limited regenerative powers, like mine, only not quite so drastic. I won't be sure of all the details until the TARDIS is fully grown and can run some tests in her infirmary but Torchwood wasn't too far off, your DNA has definitely been tampered with."
Taking a moment to process this new information, Rose stayed silent for a moment and then nodded once.
"How do you think this happened?"
The Doctor tilted his head slightly and a corner of his mouth twitched, a smile beginning to form. "How do you think it happened, Rose? Surely you've thought about it all these years."
"Well… I'm not sure. I thought maybe… well, perhaps it was a residual effect of Bad Wolf? It seemed silly at first, but after what we just discovered I can do with my mind…"
Not bothering to hide it anymore, he beamed at her, his excitement starting to bubble over in his voice and the way he held himself. His frame was practically shaking.
"Not silly at all! I do believe you are correct in your assumption, Rose Tyler."
She gave him a shy smile, cheeks flushing a bit.
"Rose… why didn't you tell me about this before now?" He tried to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice, and mostly succeeded, but he was more than a little confused and just a tiny bit hurt that she hadn't confided in him. Had the events of last night not occurred, he wondered just how much longer it would have been before this incredible turn of events came to light.
Looking back down at her knees, Rose could feel her face burning as tears pricked unexpectedly at her eyes. She willed herself to stay calm, hoping she could convey her reasons in a way that he would understand. She could hear it in his voice, though he was trying to hide it… her secrecy had hurt him. Taking a deep breath, she began.
"Doctor… after the injury I started noticing little things here and there that didn't add up. I knew something strange was going on with my body but part of me didn't want to even know. The thought that I could somehow all of a sudden have the ability to ward off illness and injury… possibly outlive my family and everyone around me… and still be so far away from you, I just… I couldn't deal with it. You told me once, described it as the Curse of the Time Lords and used it as an excuse to keep me at arm's length. Just when I thought life couldn't get any crueler, the universe threw this at me, almost as if to rub my face in it. That was another reason I had to get back to you. I couldn't be sure, of course, but I thought that maybe if you knew… that we could finally… that you would maybe let me in."
Rose had to pause then, for a moment, her emotions becoming too overwhelming to keep going. The Doctor watched her face, the struggle apparent and his stomach twisted into knots. Would he never stop causing her so much pain?
"And then I left you… before you could even tell me… him."
A tear finally escaped the dam Rose was trying so desperately to shore up and as it made its way down her cheek, she felt his hand reach out to cup her face, gently wiping it away with his thumb. His voice sounded tortured, the guilt palpable. It wasn't his fault, she knew it wasn't and wished desperately to convey that to this man before her who was constantly taking upon himself the guilt of his predecessor.
Turning her face into his hand, she smiled through her tears and kissed his palm. She then brought his hand down and gave it a gentle squeeze before threading her fingers through his.
"Then I was faced with a mortal Doctor… I was too wrapped up in my own grief to even contemplate questioning you about the specifics, but I think part of me was terrified that I would outlive even you. The more I got to know you, feel comfortable again and start looking forward to our life together… the more it scared me. I would lose you again."
"Oh Rose…"
"I was going to tell you, I swear, I was… I just hadn't gotten up the nerve to face the reality if it was going to be the one I feared the most. But Doctor, you have to believe me… even if it does, it won't change a thing. I want every single minute of your forever, however long or short it is compared to mine."
Dropping his gaze, he shook his head and with immense sadness in his voice said, "And that, Rose Tyler, is why I could live one hundred lifetimes and never deserve you."
Realizing how that must've sounded, she shook her head frantically, willing him not to misunderstand. "Doctor, no, please… you mustn't continue blaming yourself for his actions. Please."
When he looked back up at her, Rose saw that his eyes mirrored hers, shining with unshed tears. Her heart broke for him and she shifted, bringing her legs down and underneath her so that she could draw him in for a hug. For a few moments they just remained silent, holding onto one another. Then Rose pulled away slightly and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
"Forgive me?"
Giving her a sad smile, he shook his head. "There's nothing to forgive, Rose."
Settling back against the headboard again, she wiped her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she asked the big question. "So… your regenerative abilities are greater than mine… but what of yourrate of cellular decay? Are you really all human when it comes to that?" She tried to keep her tone light, the phrasing of her question purely one of scientific curiosity so as to not betray the fact that how he answered would seal their fate.
A strange look came over him then, one part guilt two parts delight. Flashing her a grin, he gave a small chuckle and then ducked his head, attempting to look somewhat contrite.
"You weren't the only one with a secret, Rose…"
Eyes impossibly wide, she stared, hoping he was about to give her the news she thought he might. He would have never answered that way otherwise.
"Like I said, it's hard to be completely sure until we have the TARDIS back and running, but I scanned myself shortly after arriving and realized my aging would be slower than the average human. I think it's safe to say neither of us will outlive the other by much, if that makes you feel better… I wasn't sure when or how to tell you either, Rose, but I would have… I promise. I guess I was just waiting for the right moment. Will you forgive me?"
Knowing she had absolutely no right to be cross with him, Rose just nodded and laughed. An enormous weight had just been lifted off both their shoulders and while their lack of communication needed to be addressed, she was too relieved to properly care at the moment.
"What a pair we are... Let's just not make a habit of this kind of thing, yeah? No more secrets. And I mean that for me just as much as for you."
Feeling equally bouyant, he grinned like a fool and saluted her. "Yes ma'am!"
Rolling her eyes, she grabbed a pillow and swung it at him half-heartedly. He caught it and parried the blow with a quick shove of his own, toppling her over onto her side. Before Rose was able to right herself, the Doctor lunged after her, landing with a loud "oof!" A muffled giggle surfaced from underneath him.
"So… you gonna sonic me properly or what, Doctor?" She arched an eyebrow, her coy smile extending the challenge.
Coming up to rest on his elbows and shifting his weight off of her slightly, he gave her a wicked grin and then pounced. There would be plenty of time to talk later… much, much later.