I'm so glad about the turn out of the reviews that I got. It makes me proud that my fans would return even though I had been gone so long. I understand that my absence isn't all together forgiven but I promise I'll do my best to update frequently. Here is the next chapter. Don't exactly know how good it is, my friend says it's pretty good, but in the end that is for ya'll to decide. Enjoy.
Haunted
Rose/Dimitri
Chapter 7
Walking from Dimitri's room was a silent affair. The old Rose would've broken the silence with some random babble, but the new Rose knew her place and stood at an appropriate distance from the Princess. I could tell something was wrong with Lissa but I didn't ask. Right now I was a guardian, not a best friend. I could ask her later, when shift was changed. She looked at me with her green Dragmire eyes; in them I could see the ever present look of worry. This angered me, I wasn't doing my job right, and she was stressed. What was I doing wrong?
"What's wrong Liss?" I asked. My voice was flat. Good. No emotion is good. I was worried about her though, she shouldn't be so weighed down by all the crap from other people's emotions. She looked down, hiding her naturally pale face from my scrutiny
"Nothing, just tired is all" not unlikely considering she had stayed up all night with me… still, why was there this nagging doubt that she was lying? Maybe it was the sense of guilt coming from the bond. I ignored the emotion that was pouring from the bond. Guardian now, friend later.
"Should I walk you to your room, or would you like to do something else?" I prayed for the first. Mostly because I didn't want to break down in front of her again. It had been building up since leaving Dimitri's room; I could feel the already fragile walls starting to crack. I knew that I could push it back until after my shift but I didn't want to risk the breakdown.
"I think that you need a break, Rose. Call up Eddie and switch shifts. I'm going to go to my room, so you can wait to switch until then." Ah Lissa, always looking out for me even when I didn't deserve it.
"Alright Liss. Off to bed for the Princess" I tried to joke. She cracked a smile and continued walking towards her dorm. I pulled out my phone and shot Eddie a text.
'Hey, shift change buddy : )' ~ Rose
Pretend to be happy. That's what my job was now. No sooner did I put my phone in my pocket , than I got a text.
'Where?' ~ Eddie
I told him we were at Lissa's dorm and put my phone away. She walked into her dorm waiting for me to follow, I just shook my head.
"I'll wait for Eddie out her kay?" I gave her a reassuring smile. She needed to relax.
She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. I watched her shut the door, praying that for once she'd stop worrying about everyone but herself. I don't recall how long I sat outside her room waiting for Eddie to show up, but when he did, I walked into her room and gave her a hug
"Eddie's here so I'm going to go eat, maybe train a bit, then hit the sack, I am pretty tired" I yawned for emphasis then winked at her.
"Alright" She hugged me back and I left the room hoping she would get some sleep, She needed it.
H~H~H
I walked into the gym, duffle bag in hand. As I stretched, I saw an ancient radio sitting in the corner of the room. I smiled 'Jackpot' I thought. I tuned it to my favorite station; it came out with a lot of static but suddenly switched to perfect reception.
'Alright guys! Thank you for joining us at WKYB93, where we have your newest hits and your old favorites. Here's a song ya'll should all know. Stand still, Look pretty by The Wreckers. Ah… Not again. I can take it 'Channel the emotions Rose' I yelled at myself. This was going to be fun…. Not.
I want to paint my face
And pretend that I am
Someone else.
"No shit" I whispered as I started my crunches.
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at
Myself.
Sometimes? How about all the time?
But people have problems that
Are worse than mine
I don't want you to think
I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look
At me I have to say
I wish I could start over
Starting over? Yeah that'd be great. I would never had fallen in love with Dimitri, if I could start over. Never knowing what it was like to be held by him, well I could live with that. I wish I never knew what I was missing.
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk
In my shoes for a start
Dimitri? Yeah right! He was perfectly fine in his own badass shoes. Besides the only person he seemed to care about anymore was Lissa. Can you say FML?
And you might think it's
Easy being me
You just stand still
Look pretty
HA! Did he even consider me pretty anymore? Or was he in "Love" with Lissa now? I know it was vain but still, it bothered me that he might not consider me good looking now that he didn't love me.
Sometimes I find myself
Shaking in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and
I can't even believe this is my life
You know I MIGHT stop listening to music if this continues… how many songs can there be that reflect my life? Well if I don't know, with my luck lately I would find out.
But people have problems
That are worse than mine
I don't want you to think
I'm complaining all the time
Heaven forbid Rose ever go against something someone else wanted. No, I just had to solve other people's problems, never mine.
And I wish that everyone
Would go and shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it.
I AM strong enough….. I think. More like I hope.
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk
In my shoes for a start
And you might think
It's easy being me
You just stand still
Look pretty
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk
In my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still
Look pretty
I didn't even realize when I stopped working out in the middle of the song, but as the song ended I realized my body was faced towards the radio. I felt like I should have been crying, my heart felt shattered, but there were no tears on my face. None.
'Maybe I'm finally out of tears' I thought grimly
I pushed myself off the glossy gym floor. I sighed. I needed to get HIM off my mind. I had Adrian. Adrian who was so much better for me than Dimitri, I mentally shuddered. Adrian who loved me when HE didn't. Adrian that supported me even though he knew my heart belonged to someone else. Poor Adrian, he still kept the hope that I would eventually love him, and maybe someday I would. This wasn't a movie after all, if it was Dimitri would be here right now.
I shook my head as I headed out the gym for a run, my mind, as always, on Dimitri. What was I going to do? It wasn't like I could avoid him, I was Lissa's guardian after all. I suppose I could switch shifts with Eddie, but that seemed weak. I had already showed too much weakness to Dimitri, he had no right to see any more. But in my sick and twisted mine, Dimitri was the center of the world, and everyone just took a backseat to him. That just wasn't right. Lissa and Adrian deserved more and Dimitri deserved less.
My mind was going in circles, Dimitri this and Dimitri that. I wanted to scream! This is NOT how it was suppose to be. It should be Adrian all the time, not the guy who stole my heart and stomped on it with his sexy leather boots. I was seriously fucked up. I hardly got the effect I wanted from my run, I might have been even more stressed than when I started. Damn that stupid sexy Russian that had my heart in his strong hands then took it and destroyed it.
I stopped running and walked over to my bag. I picked it up and headed to my room. I just wanted this day to be over with.
So what did ya'll think? I really want to know so REVIEW : ) does Dimitri wear leather boots? I dunno it sounds sexy to me, if he doesn't he should ; ) not all my stuff, I also have to give credit to the band that wrote the song, The Wreckers. Also the part about that this wasn't a movie… well that was from another song, one that I'm thinking of putting in one of the chapters. It's called If This Was a Movie by Taylor Swift. So review and tell me what ya think